personal Attention. (big deal/worth the time, or not?)

[camstory]

Personal Attention, big deal, or not? That's the question for the members I would like to ask.
Personal Attention, Models, is it worth the time and effort?
I guess I should define what I mean by, "personal attention". Anything a Model spends time and effort on for a member that has not been contracted and paid for, and is not part of her cam time. This could be as simple as a MFC mail saying, "Thanks for being in my room tonight", or as time consuming as creating special content and uploading it for a regular.

Also, Models, it occured to me that this extra personal attention while possibility making very good sense in some cases, seems like it also might be a bit risky? What I mean by that is not risky in a personal info way, but in a, "keeping a clear understanding, that I am being kind, nice, whatever, but that's all" sort of way.

I clearly know how I feel as a member about personal attention, but I'm not going to start this time. I'm tired, - I'll come back tomorrow and post my :twocents-mytwocents:

 

[Shaun__]

Personal attention feels very very nice, but I would prefer not to talk about what models do for me. Also I do not think any model is going to decide to come live her life with me, because they do stuff for me. I hope they like me, but I do think anyone as awesome as them would ever fall in love me. I am a bit boring, and seem to do little besides work.

 

[Anonymous]

Personal Attention, Models, is it worth the time and effort?
I guess I should define what I mean by, "personal attention". Anything a Model spends time and effort on for a member that has not been contracted and paid for, and is not part of her cam time.

Examples of personal attention that I think is reasonable
Sending tweets to members by name
Acknowledging a member's birthday via Twitter and/or MFC room topic
Responding to an e-mail/MFC Mail sent from a member

Yes, for me it's worth the time and effort because these are things that only take a few minutes to do anyway, and I think it's nice to give a lil' shout-out to the cool members who visit you regularly and appreciate you.

As far as special content for a favorite member...if I know a favorite member has a birthday coming up, I might take 1 or 2 "Happy Birthday!" pics to email him, mention his birthday in my room topic/Twitter, and maybe write his name on me in marker in public chat. None of this stuff takes me long to do.

Also, Models, it occured to me that this extra personal attention while possibility making very good sense in some cases, seems like it also might be a bit risky? What I mean by that is not risky in a personal info way, but in a, "keeping a clear understanding, that I am being kind, nice, whatever, but that's all" sort of way.

There's always a chance that someone is gonna get a lil' excited about the personal attention and wind up asking you to give them MORE. Like if you tweet a guy "Thanks for the token love!" and he replies "You're worth it. Hey, can you call me?" :roll: Clearly, the dude is being ridiculous and taking advantage now.

Anyone who misinterprets the personal attention received and thinks it means the model wants to meet him/date him/exchange numbers is living in a dream world and needs to be set straight...lol. It's important for models to be friendly and know how to talk to people, AND it's important for models to be clear and firm about their limits. They need to not be afraid to tell guys "Sorry, I don't meet in person" or "Sorry, this is a ONE-TIME ONLY Skype show. You cannot video call me on Skype every time you see me logged in." LOL.

I hope this answered your questions.

 

[theguitarrist]

I try to keep very separated the "we are playing and I'm tipping you for your work" time from the "I know that you are investing time on me, and that I'm taking time from you without tipping you, because we have some level of friendship" time.

For instance, I am good repairing computers. So, if a friend is going to ask me to spend my whole day trying to rescue his hard drive data, I expect him to pay me for my time. And he can make me reasonable follow up questions later. But I don't expect any retribution for other time we spend together. Of course, that's kind of the meaning of friendship, right?

So, for me, model's personal attention without friendship is uncomfortable. I don't expect it, and I wouldn't know how to deal with it.

 

[AllisonWilder]

I like to give personal attention to members when I can. If someone is really rocking my socks while I'm on cam, you can be sure I'm putting his name in the topic somewhere (ex. MemberNameHere is awesome!) and tweeting about it. I send out videos, pictures, give people access to my password-protected blog to awesome members all the time. Same thing goes for birthdays and holidays, too. I like to do little special things that are personalized for members somehow. I have done one exclusive custom for someone that tipped like crazy for months while asking for nothing in return. I knew what he liked and made a video for his eyes only.

I can't make it as a camgirl if I don't have members supporting me so I like to personalize some of my attentions for those members that make it possible to keep camming.

 

[LadyLuna]

Every single member wants me to give them personal attention. I think it's really annoying when they ask for it, whether they are a friend or not, if I'm already on camera. I really don't like it when people ask for free content (or free shows). Then again, it was made very very clear to me rather early on that it's not polite to ask people for gifts- they will give it to you spontaneously if they want to.

That said, I will spontaneously send stuff to people I find cool. These are usually people who have made sure I know their tastes and have never asked for a freebie, and been thankful for any freebies I've given them in the past, even if it wasn't their favorite (in which case, I usually ask what they would've liked better so I can send them that. I actually learn best by getting something I cared about wrong, and being corrected gently.)

I think I had more to say, but it got lost somewhere in the recesses of my mind...

 

[sweetiebatman]

Its always nice to be remembered and for a model to say hello when you enter a room, (at least when its not so busy, I can understand being lost in hundereds!)

But I dont expect it, and I certainly dont expect any more, outside of MFC I have my twitter and I dont get pissy when models dont reply as I very rarely have a specific question, i'm just saying hello or shooting the breeze"

I think, from both a models point of view if you go out of your way expect to give/receive personal attention you will only be disappointed

 

[16_bit]

I've never really thought about this before. Thinking back to when i first joined mfc, i never expected anything and was surprised at times when a model PM'd me to say thank you, i'd just assume that if i were to be thanked for anything, they'd just say it on cam.
I have become friends with the only model i really follow so i don't see it as personal attention, i see it as part of a friendship. I understand though that the circumstances aren't the same as a 'normal' friend and adjust to that. I don't expect anything from her, to give me more time than anyone else and i try to be there as a friend back just as much. I don't pry into her life, i wait for her to tell me anything if she chooses to tell me and i think that helps.
I've never used my position to influence anything in her room or tried to get anything for free. I actually won a raffle and forgot to claim my prize, but that's my own fault and i've never asked her for it even though she'd be happy to.
I always treat models as people, or at least i hope i always have, and i would hope that i get treated with equal respect back once i show i'm not an idiot or a 'get naked bb' guy.

As for the original question, to me personal attention isn't a big deal. I don't need PM's or twitter replies from a model, i'd just like to be treated as a person and not just a customer. Haven't come across any personally that are like that from my guest watching but you hear stories.

 

[AllisonWilder]

I don't need PM's or twitter replies from a model, i'd just like to be treated as a person and not just a customer. Haven't come across any personally that are like that from my guest watching but you hear stories.

If you're just watching as a guest, you won't ever see a model treating a member as more than a 'customer' because as a guest you won't be seeing what she's like behind the scenes or how she would interact with you as a person.

 

[LucyGoodtimes]

I definitely do a lot of "personal attention" but generally just on those guys who are tipping an exorbitant amount, or who seem super cool. I get in trouble often with those one time tippers expecting a lot of attention in PM. I do really love having 1 on 1 convos, but most of whats said in PM by those one time tippers can totally be said in public chat.

I'm more than happy to respond/send MFC mails when I'm offline, but it seems like most people only want my attention when I'm on cam. I actually have tried to initiate converstions via email (aka on my downtime) because my stregnth in camming is my convo, so I try to play that up, but again I feel its spmething they only want when I'm on cam. Not all, but most.

A quick cute thank you note for offline tips does seem to generate more...

I think overall the time I spend on personal attention does garner more tokens. But it really just depends on the guy

 

[Weirdtimmy]

Well, I love personal attention because people in the real world just tend to piss me off so much to the point I don't even go out anymore. Soooo MFC is my "safe haven" to socialize.

I love that certain models have added me to their real FB account, send me cute messages to my profile & MFC mails to show their appreciation that I spend time with them, even if I'm not tipping 24/7. Some I talk with on Skype when they're off-hours and bored sitting at home. It's just nice to know that they care, or pretend to care, about me without always having money/tokens involved.

 

[Just Me]

I try to keep very separated the "we are playing and I'm tipping you for your work" time from the "I know that you are investing time on me, and that I'm taking time from you without tipping you, because we have some level of friendship" time.

For instance, I am good repairing computers. So, if a friend is going to ask me to spend my whole day trying to rescue his hard drive data, I expect him to pay me for my time. And he can make me reasonable follow up questions later. But I don't expect any retribution for other time we spend together. Of course, that's kind of the meaning of friendship, right?

So, for me, model's personal attention without friendship is uncomfortable. I don't expect it, and I wouldn't know how to deal with it.

Interesting use of the word and not one I would have thought of since it usually has negative connotations. :lol: I am also good with computers but I don't think I would ever charge a friend or family member, maybe a dinner but certainly not money for my time.

Personal attention is great if it is warranted and not just because I have tipped. But, I do not ever expect it. PM's, MFC mail, tweeting etc are just good business practices and seems to me they are part of cam time or prep for cam time. It becomes touchy or a gray area when it is personal attention outside of MFC. Why are they doing it? Are both parties motives clear? Is it friendship or business to the model? So many variables.

 

[theguitarrist]

For instance, I am good repairing computers. So, if a friend is going to ask me to spend my whole day trying to rescue his hard drive data, I expect him to pay me for my time. And he can make me reasonable follow up questions later. But I don't expect any retribution for other time we spend together. Of course, that's kind of the meaning of friendship, right?

Interesting use of the word and not one I would have thought of since it usually has negative connotations. :lol: I am also good with computers but I don't think I would ever charge a friend or family member, maybe a dinner but certainly not money for my time.

Lol. First, as you probably realized, I'm not a native English speaker so sometimes I will have idiomatic mistakes.
And... I'm kind of a liar too, because I have never charger friend/family for fixing their computers... but I couldn't come with a better example lol

It becomes touchy or a gray area when it is personal attention outside of MFC. Why are they doing it? Are both parties motives clear? Is it friendship or business to the model? So many variables.

True. I just began a post a few days ago because I got paranoid about contacting a model outside of MFC. I am not a good tipper (I do tip, but just like a normal guy because I don't have a lot of money), so after my paranoia stopped I realized we just became friends... but if I were a good tipper, I would also hesitate between friendship or business model.

 

[RogueWarrior]

No big deal to me, to a certain extent. Sure, it was nice when models recognized me when I went to their rooms. I made an impression and was not just another random member. That meant something.

As far the other extraneous stuff, eh.

That sounds unappreciative. Not meant to be. Just not for me. I'm sure it's different for most members, but I have never been conventional. Nor an attention whore. If I was in your room it was because I liked you, not because I expected something.

I could write more, but I feel myself digging a hole. So, I'll just leave it at that.

 

[16_bit]

I don't need PM's or twitter replies from a model, i'd just like to be treated as a person and not just a customer. Haven't come across any personally that are like that from my guest watching but you hear stories.

If you're just watching as a guest, you won't ever see a model treating a member as more than a 'customer' because as a guest you won't be seeing what she's like behind the scenes or how she would interact with you as a person.

You bring up a fair point that when i watch in a room as a guest, i won't see what the model is like in those terms. But you can see how a model interacts with her regulars and members in general which can help.
My point wasn't that i myself have ever seen or think that models see members as just customers, but that i haven't ever come across a model like that personally. Just that you hear stories of models who don't pay any attention to you unless you tip and then forget about you again. When on my premium account, i only follow one model which is why i said when i'm guest watching. I don't have enough money or tokens to share with as many models as i'd like.

 

[AllisonWilder]

No big deal to me, to a certain extent. Sure, it was nice when models recognized me when I went to their rooms. I made an impression and was not just another random member. That meant something.

As far the other extraneous stuff, eh.

That sounds unappreciative. Not meant to be. Just not for me. I'm sure it's different for most members, but I have never been conventional. Nor an attention whore. If I was in your room it was because I liked you, not because I expected something.

I could write more, but I feel myself digging a hole. So, I'll just leave it at that.

The guy that doesn't care if he gets extras, doesn't expect or beg for things and is pleased when he's made enough of an impression for a model to know who he is is the type of guy (at least in my room, I can't speak for any other model) that gets the extras because with that attitude he's likely a cool dude and probably deserves it.

 

[UncleThursday]

I've gotten a few little extras and been happy with them.

Just to name a few recent ones...

MissSexyVixen got me the first video for my hot girls promo for my game reviews. Never asked for anything for it, she did it because I've been a reg in her room almost since she started. Also, her birthday is the day before mine (just 10 years later :lol: ), so we have a little birthday party in her room for me.

AlyDarling gave me a birthday dance on my birthday, to a song of my choosing. Then later on sent me a DM on Twitter to wish me happy birthday.

PlayboyMegan gave me a password to one of her galleries on my birthday, probably because I make her laugh. :lol:

DreamBabby sings happy birthday to me.

These little things, and others from other models, bring a little smile to my face. They show the models think of me as more than just tokens to be earned. They're not huge OMGLETSMEETANDTRYTOMAKEBABIES gestures. They're just little things that say "I think you're cool and enjoy when you hang out with me in my room (or in PM window if not in my room)" gestures. And they're fine, IMO.

And I do little things back. I got MissSexyVixen and AlyDarling each Doctor Horrible's SIng Along Blog Blu-rays. I got DarthAmberle Mortal Kombat. I send fun/cute tip notes saying they don't need to be for a topic. Etc.

I'm under no false pretense that things will ever go beyond what they are. And I know they're not under any such pretenses, either.

 

[HarmlessSquirrel]

It means something to me if a model gives me a little personal attention. I'm not expecting endless hours of chat or anything at all offline. I've had online friends that meant something to me outside the cam world, and I'd like to think the same can happen here. An occasional personal hello, or an acknowledgement that I did something a little bit cool feels good. It's not a big deal, but it might make the difference between me hanging around and losing interest. At this point, I'm really around more for the people aspect of things than to see "porn." You can get a ton of porn videos for 20 bucks or so by joining any of a number of sites for a month. I like to spend my time with someone I like, and if she appreciates me a bit, that helps. Cool fellow members also make it fun, btw.

 

[MiaMeow]

I have a couple of regulars that I exchange short emails with daily, chit-chatting. No sexual stuff, just chatting.
They are both huge spenders in my room - one has spent $360 on me this week already (and it's only Thursday!) and the other buys me stuff from my Amazon wishlist all the time and doesn't ask for anything in return (although I always send him a few photos to say thanks!), so it's really the least I could do.
I don't see it as something that is worth or not worth the time - I enjoy talking to them and they have been awesome to me in the past.
B

 

[camstory]

I try to keep very separated the "we are playing and I'm tipping you for your work" time from the "I know that you are investing time on me, and that I'm taking time from you without tipping you, because we have some level of friendship" time.

For instance, I am good repairing computers. So, if a friend is going to ask me to spend my whole day trying to rescue his hard drive data, I expect him to pay me for my time. And he can make me reasonable follow up questions later. But I don't expect any retribution for other time we spend together. Of course, that's kind of the meaning of friendship, right?

So, for me, model's personal attention without friendship is uncomfortable. I don't expect it, and I wouldn't know how to deal with it.

Interesting use of the word and not one I would have thought of since it usually has negative connotations. :lol: I am also good with computers but I don't think I would ever charge a friend or family member, maybe a dinner but certainly not money for my time.

Personal attention is great if it is warranted and not just because I have tipped. But, I do not ever expect it. PM's, MFC mail, tweeting etc are just good business practices and seems to me they are part of cam time or prep for cam time. It becomes touchy or a gray area when it is personal attention outside of MFC. Why are they doing it? Are both parties motives clear? Is it friendship or business to the model? So many variables.

Interesting, I also thought it was a creative use of retribution.

Is it friendship or business to the Model?

I still struggle at times to completely understand what an on line friendship means to me. I am clear, and never struggle to understand that whatever it is, it is, at its core something different. (For me it is more complex than just saying it is the same as a RW friendship minus this or that.) For reasons I can't quite articulate, wether the Model thinks of it as friendship or business does not matter to me. If it feels like friendship, that is how I accept it - as an on line friendship.

 

[camstory]

I have a couple of regulars that I exchange short emails with daily, chit-chatting. No sexual stuff, just chatting.
They are both huge spenders in my room - one has spent $360 on me this week already (and it's only Thursday!) and the other buys me stuff from my Amazon wishlist all the time and doesn't ask for anything in return (although I always send him a few photos to say thanks!), so it's really the least I could do.
I don't see it as something that is worth or not worth the time - I enjoy talking to them and they have been awesome to me in the past.
B

I wondered if anyone would call me on the, "worth or not worth the time" descriptive. Not that I feel there is anything wrong with it, only that there can often be more to it than that allows.

 

[Always_Tim]

At this point, I'm really around more for the people aspect of things than to see "porn." You can get a ton of porn videos for 20 bucks or so by joining any of a number of sites for a month. I like to spend my time with someone I like, and if she appreciates me a bit, that helps. Cool fellow members also make it fun, btw.

Same here. MFC is not cost-effective if you treat it as porn. I'd have left after a month or two if I saw it that way. I continue to hang around month after month because of the people (both models and members) who have become friends of mine. (ok, so we could argue about what "friend" means and the difference between "real life" friends and online friends, etc., but then we'd be getting off topic.)

I do get quite a bit of personal attention from my favorite models. And that's the main reason I tend to hang around those same 4 or 5 models all the time. And yes, it does get them a lot of tips (quite substantial in a few cases) so I'm sure that's the reason for most of the attention. But I'm ok with that.

 

[mynameisbob84]

Who doesn't like a bit of extra attention from a hot tamale? :-D
(is it still au fait to use the term "hot tamale" in 2012? Furthermore, is it still cool to use the term "au fait"? :?)
I think the only time it can be a negative is when the guy being showered with attention mistakes it for something it's not. Somebody more cynical than I might argue this extra attention is a model's ploy to get more tokens (and it might be in some cases, though I would wager not all), or it might just be a case of two people becoming internet friendly and that spilling over to communications outside of MFC - but it's exceptionally rare that it's at all indicative of a model wanting get together with a member and make sweet, sweet love on a hammock (or whatever it is you kids do today).
The problem is - as evidenced by the threads that crop up on this here forum with an almost alarming regularity - that some doods find it all too easy to mistake a model enjoying their company outside of MFC with them having feelings for them and stuff.
But as long as everybody involved is clear that that's not the case, I see no problem with it :twocents-02cents:

 

[AmberCutie]

People are different about the way they prefer their personal attention, too. Some like it shouted from the rooftops so everyone knows how special they are. Others like it completely private. Some like a mix of the both. Some will take it however they can get it the fastest. Others would rather wait days to get something private and personal.

It's all across the board!

Keeping track of how everyone likes to be treated, and the little details that seem to make them happy, can be overwhelming.

But yes, it's worth the time. I like knowing I've made someone feel good and appreciated and special.

 

[RoxieRed]

The problem is - as evidenced by the threads that crop up on this here forum with an almost alarming regularity - that some doods find it all too easy to mistake a model enjoying their company outside of MFC with them having feelings for them and stuff.

I'd like to say that this is just an issue we run into on the internet, but it's not.

It's all too easy for most guys to in real life to think that just because a girl is friendly with them in any capacity that it means they want to have a relationship with them.

I know I've thought to myself before "Seriously, I lent you a pen, and I don't beat you with a stick when you talk to me. We are not dating."

I've also broken off friendships when I realized that the other person expected it to turn into a romantic relationship and I didn't want it to. If that happened between us with the model/ prem dynamic I could be accused of leading him on.

I am sure there are some guys who are mislead by a model into thinking that they have a chance with a romantic relationship together. I am just as sure some accused models just enjoy the chat they have with their online friends and don't realize the prem they are chatting with is mistaking it as something more.

I probably took this thread way off base, but just thought I'd share my current thoughts on this.

 

[camstory]

I am not one to think all or even most personal attention is aimed at increasing token count. I think much of the time these touches of personal attention are not only appreciative gestures, but also acts of friendship. If that is so, thanit seems there must be times when the Model feels burned b/c the members abuses those acts of friendship.

I can imagine two reasons right off that this might happen. One b/c the member is a man.

Two the member is a spiteful man, and for whatever reason he feels jilted, and acts abusive intentionally, rather than by nature.

Ether way I cansee the potential for there to be times when the Model is the one who feels hurt, but not b/c she thought there was some possible romantic relationship, but b/c she simply thought the member was a friend, and he shared something personal with others. Or lied that he lost his job, and could not tip anymore, but actually was now spending all his tokens in other rooms. Or in some way spit upon the friendship the Model had extended. I don't know that this happens, but I'm sure it must?

 

[RoxieRed]

I am not one to think all or even most personal attention is aimed at increasing token count. I think much of the time these touches of personal attention are not only appreciative gestures, but also acts of friendship. If that is so, thanit seems there must be times when the Model feels burned b/c the members abuses those acts of friendship.

I can imagine two reasons right off that this might happen. One b/c the member is a man.

Two the member is a spiteful man, and for whatever reason he feels jilted, and acts abusive intentionally, rather than by nature.

Ether way I cansee the potential for there to be times when the Model is the one who feels hurt, but not b/c she thought there was some possible romantic relationship, but b/c she simply thought the member was a friend, and he shared something personal with others. Or lied that he lost his job, and could not tip anymore, but actually was now spending all his tokens in other rooms. Or in some way spit upon the friendship the Model had extended. I don't know that this happens, but I'm sure it must?

I can guarantee you that models get their feelings hurt because of regulars abusing the friendship that the model extends. I know because I have had my feelings hurt before this way and felt totally taken advantage of.
Now I am much more careful who I give my special attention to.

 

[ComicOzzie]

I don't expect personalized attention from models I am not already super tight with, but when a casual model acquaintance does make an effort to say hello or PM me, it has the effect of encouraging me to get to know her better. I have made many wonderful MFC friends from models reaching out to be nice to me.

 

[Celeste]

I do think personal attention is worth the time

I love speaking to people regularly and often email throughout the day when i get some spare minutes. These guys are so sweet to me and if i'm having a shitty day they will try cheer me up.

And they keep me company when i'm camming if it's going slow they keep the chat flowing. I don't think they'd bother half as much if i were to not take the time and let them know they're appreciated :twocents-02cents:

 

[UncleThursday]

People are different about the way they prefer their personal attention, too. Some like it shouted from the rooftops so everyone knows how special they are. Others like it completely private. Some like a mix of the both. Some will take it however they can get it the fastest. Others would rather wait days to get something private and personal.

It's all across the board!

Keeping track of how everyone likes to be treated, and the little details that seem to make them happy, can be overwhelming.

But yes, it's worth the time. I like knowing I've made someone feel good and appreciated and special.

For myself, it's just the little things that help. If a model knows my name and uses it instead of my handle. If she's smiling when saying hi when I come in and generally seems happy to see me. If she gets a kick out of my tip notes. That sort of thing.

But, for others it could be more, it could be less.