Positive experiences on ACF

[IsabellaSnow]

Dear Forum Members,

As has been brought up in a recent thread I've realised that some of you are right, I have been coming across as especially bitter lately. I've always been fairly cynical on here and have come across blunt, but lately I've been lacking in the positive posts on here. I've been debating whether to post this or not. I care about a lot of people on this forum but I realise that the feeling may not be mutual and to be honest I don't want this to sound like I'm seeking attention because I'm really not. It's more that I want those of you who've been around to understand that it has been important to me and I haven't been sat here having negative thoughts. I think in a really positive way about everyone here.

I think I will probably leave this forum for a while as I seem to just be bringing negativity to the table lately and it's not healthy for me or anyone else here. I've noticed this since I've returned, maybe because I am no longer camming so I feel resentful of the world I can no longer be a part of. I returned here because I had hoped it would help me get back into it but I'm just not the same person I used to be, camming no longer feels right. It's not that I'm unhappy with who I am now, it's just I really miss my old regulars and now I feel so far away from them. Literally so far away from some, one I fell out with big time and another who I considered one of my closest friends was sent to prison for coercing a 14 year old girl into sleeping with him. And yeah, he was like the nicest guy ever as far as I could tell and the best regular you could ask for. Finding that out fucking sucked balls.

But... I want to write a thread with my positive experiences of this forum and the ways some of you have helped me over the past 3 years. I thought I'd do it on the public section as it involves a lot of the members on here as well as the models. I'm going to start with the ways you've helped me and maybe some of it might explain some of my posts.

When I came to this forum I loved camming and was full of positive thoughts, but I also hated men. Not
on a personal level, I have always had tons of guy friends, but I also felt that men were the root of all evil and that nice guys simply chose to not fall down that path. Yes it is a ridiculous attitude, I was 20, very messed up and had some weird logic. Since being on this forum I've learned such a shed load about people. My whole mind has been opened up to a world that it never would have been. There have been several people here who've turned around and said not unkindly but also pretty bluntly that I'm being ridiculous for my attitudes and have explained why. And for you guys who have thank you so much! I honestly have no idea what I'm talking about most of the time. I have a photographic memory, an above average IQ and an ability to write. I just remember loads of random pieces of data and put them together in the way that logically fits and see what happens. Most posts that I've written sound really opinionated but in truth, I've never thought about it before in my life. I've just put a bunch of facts together on the spot(and yeah, I'm sad enough to research information if I'm unsure). This is why no one should ever take things I write with more than a pinch of salt, they could be so spot on or I could be completely off. I guess it's why I am happy for people to disagree with me but I get really upset when people get upset or annoyed with my posts, because essentially all I'm doing is trying out pieces in a jigsaw and asking what your opinions are, I just end up getting disunited and digging a hole. Obviously it's awesome when people think you're spot on first time around, but I'd rather know so I can store the correct information rather than something wrong. It's not something I take personally unless someone makes it personal.

This is something that you wonderful people on here have been epic for! I grew up in a world where I was not listened to and was ignored. Especially by men. In fact, I've been told my whole life that men will always be better than me even if I'm brighter than they are, they will always have the one up on me. This world Amber has created, it's a place where members actually read what I say and give me their opinions on it. It's probably the only place in my life where I feel I've been treated equally, or even in ways sometimes like I'm superior, not in a people thinking I'm better than them, but as though I have respect for my sex and position rather than it just being accepted. I know it sounds silly but it means the world to me. Even when camming, I get dramatically more respect while camming than I do in real life, I think largely because I have a ban button and 80% of the people in my room can't even talk, but it's awesome!
Some guys come to this forum and they make out the guys here are really whipped/are sucking up to us, but I don't think that's what it is. It's actually just that this is what genuine respect for the opposite sex looks like. To me it makes me feel special because although I live in an "equal" country I have never really experienced gender equality. I don't think it was Amber's intention when she made this forum but by being such a strong female presence and being so good at running everything it's created somewhere pretty unique and incredible. Thank you Amber for having me over the years, and thank you to all the strong minded women on here who have shown me that actually, men really aren't that bad. You've supported me through some of the hardest times, I hope I've been there for at least some of you in the same way.

Now for random fun experiences of this forum! When I first came here I vowed to never get involved in arguments or make any points that could be offensive or cause issues. Believe it or not I even took pride in reworking all of my posts so they could be practically neutral. I realised pretty quickly that however neutral you try to sound, someone will always take something the wrong way. Then the summer of the "join my camsite bb" trolls came and trying to be neutral completely went out of the window! I know that it's bad to enjoy trolling out a troll but there were some really epic take downs. It was that time where every week a new guy with a scam would show up. Some of those did kind of feel like we'd communally fought off a boggart or something (harry potter reference about a monster that dies if you laugh at it) and everyone would all high five at the end when Amber would ban whoever it was. I know it's not really the best example of a team experience, but there were a bunch of threads where so many people were completely on the same page, I really have felt on so many occasions like this place is a bit of a large and dysfunctional family.

I actually find it really hard to talk about feelings about people rather than speaking objectively, I've had it drilled into me that those kind of sentiments are unnecessary. I'm not sure if that's because I'm english but it makes everything I say over text sound hard... But I'll try

I love you guys! You've been one of the most amazing parts of the last 3 years. Camming without this place would have driven me crazy. I'm not mentioning specific names deliberately because there are so many of you on here that have been a positive part of my life that I'd end up forgetting someone important and then kicking myself. I moved to the country side just before I started camming as I needed to sort my head out, I had very few friends in the area so really for a while this forum and MFC was my main source of friendship. I'm so sad, I know, but fuck it, it's been worth it

By the way, if anyone fancies contributing to things that they've loved about this forum or things that have helped them in their own lives then please do, I didn't make this thread to be focused on myself though it's obviously started about my experiences of being here it could make a great thread if it'd include some other experiences

 

[MemberEd]

For me, the most positive aspect of this forum has been it's honesty. The cam world is a fantasy world for both models and members alike. ACF brings balance to that world by being a source of reality and reason. I myself do think that negative posts detract from that but are as useful as positive posts, in showing models and members, the truthful expectations they should have.
:twocents-02cents:

 

[PunkInDrublic]

I know that it's bad to enjoy trolling out a troll but there were some really epic take downs. It was that time where every week a new guy with a scam would show up. Some of those did kind of feel like we'd communally fought off a boggart or something (harry potter reference about a monster that dies if you laugh at it) and everyone would all high five at the end when Amber would ban whoever it was. I know it's not really the best example of a team experience, but there were a bunch of threads where so many people were completely on the same page, I really have felt on so many occasions like this place is a bit of a large and dysfunctional family.

I also enjoy this even if some might find it kinda silly. We argue amongst ourselves a lot but we form like Voltron when needed. Brings us all together in a weird way.

One of the many great things about this forum is the size of the community. Not too big so you recognize most active posters. Easy to get comfortable enough with people to talk about things you normally wouldn't or maybe even shouldn't.

Some of us have been here so long that it feels like we went to high school together or something, idk, just go with it. Like, we all had study hall together because we talk almost everyday. Maybe a Cheers comparison would be more appropriate.

I love that I get to interact and chat with so many different women. I'm on a pretty short leash and this is really all I'm allowed to do as far as "hanging out" with other women.

I love how wild shit can get here sometimes. Rarely a dull moment. To quote the Bosstones "Someone's always up to something, one thing's always understood, if nothing happened in a minute, wait another, something would"

Love how forgiving and accepting people here are.

 

[CharlotteLace]

There's a lot I love about this forum. I love knowing that pretty much every topic for camming has been covered in detail, so sometimes I sit back and scour old threads to improve how I work.

I really love when there's threads with healthy debates and valid points on both sides. There have been more than a few times I've sat back and thought, "huh. I never thought of it like that before," and deep discussions really make me sit back and reassess my own opinion on various issues.

I love when somebody can do a perfectly timed comeback in a troll thread. SO many people here have an incredible sharp sense of humor.

I know things get heated sometimes (in the public side, and in models-only), but typically once it settles down, we're all ready for new debates and discussions. Sometimes we even end up agreeing with people we normally disagree with. I think there's a certain level of maturity in posters who can say, "I don't like this person, but they have a good point." A lot of people here have a very balanced sense of fairness, and I respect that. We don't all have to agree or like each other, but I don't think a lot of us hold deep-seated grudges or vendettas.

On a more personal level, I really love the camaraderie I've found with girls here (as well as a lot of ACF dudes, too). I just recently went through a really painful ending of a relationship, and I had so many girls reaching out to me to offer support and offers of boob squishes. Every step of the way, I knew I had a solid support network I could count on for bad days. That's a huge deal for me. Hell, most of my friends in town will only text every few weeks to say hi. I love that if somebody's quiet for a week or two, we start to panic and check up on them. That's such a neat thing, that we generally look out for each other. I'm not used to that at all and it's really incredible to me. I've also made some amazing friendships through here, and I'm really grateful to ACF for that, too.

(Also I'm drinking so this might be coming across more emotional than intended. Fuck though, I love you guys. All of you.)

 

[AmberCutie]

I'm enjoying the positivity and replies in this thread. Makes me feel good. Ya know?

 

[JerryBoBerry]

I enjoy the avatars.

 

[ThunderWeasel]

While I do enjoy participating in 'serious' threads as the mood strikes me, what I really find fun here is the high level of amusing madness. The "Weird Science" thread, Halloween costume thread... and a whole thread about hot dog toppings!

 

[DeezNA]

I know I'm new here... but I really can't even put into words the impact you guys have made. This is not at all to discredit those who have been by my side through tough times in the past before I joined ACF... but the amount of acceptance, assistance and comradery on here has completely floored me.

Isabella talked a lot about gender, this was what brought me to this forum in the first place. I have always been terrified of being perceived as a predator simply because I have a dick. I rarely told models that I was visiting that I am a model too, in fear that I would be viewed as having an agenda. This fear made me deprive myself of professional companionship, of peers. The fear of being viewed as some perv who wants a free ride or wants to try to manipulate females ended up making me exile myself from the camming community for a very long time. It took me a solid week after being introduced to ACF to even gain the courage to write my first post on here and before I could blink my misconceptions were completely dispelled. This community welcomed me with open arms and has helped monumentally with that fear and so much more.

I hate gender inequality. On all sides. I say it all the time, I truly believe we are capable of SO much better than that kind of crap as a species. Sorry, I just had to say it, it frustrates the hell out of me every day.

Beyond the the few that really got to know me, this is the first place that I actually felt that I was taken seriously as a male cam model, let alone as one that prefers a less sexualized entertainment route and doesn't do public cumshows. This is the first place that I felt truly accepted and really felt like there was hope for my camming career. This is the first place I have ever been in the presence of female cam models (besides Twitter) and felt comfortable and proud to say I am a male cam model. Without the support I have received on here and through those I have met here, I probably would have quit last month and I never would have gone to the expo that I just got home from tonight.

Thank you for taking the time to get to know me as more than just some dude who whips his dick out on a webcam... for actually hearing me out and for accepting me as a model... as a peer... as a human. I really means a lot to me.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

This community welcomed me with open arms and has helped monumentally with that fear and so much more

That's cause you're awesome I'm never sure how much to reveal about the goings on of the models only section, but I like to describe it as kind of like a giant hug. Members from this forum are often positively mentioned in the girl space and you're one that since arriving I've seen many a mention on how cool you've been and how much they love your posts! Including me, I don't think I've ever read a post from you that I haven't enjoyed

I completely forgot to mention the wealth of knowledge on this forum to do with camming. This place has improved my camming career so much! Before ACF I was stumbling around in the dark. Camming can be very lonely, having people to talk to who are in the same industry and understand you is more than you can even hope for.

Sometimes, when I see people discussing something on facebook or somewhere else, I think "god, people are so much cooler on ACF."

Some of us have been here so long that it feels like we went to high school together or something, idk, just go with it. Like, we all had study hall together because we talk almost everyday.

It's funny you mention this because I have been thinking in ways because I took a break from this forum coming back almost felt like if you took 6 months away from school, there are loads of new people who have no idea who you are and you're no longer close to the people you once spoke to every day. It's different if you first come to a forum as you usually cautiously edge in, but when it's somewhere you've been for a while it feels strange feeling like a stranger. I guess it only makes sense for the school analogy, for me as a model this was like my staff room, the place you talk to and hang out with other workers (I'm including members in this as you're a part of camming imo) in a fun environment. Problem is, I've always spent way longer in the staff room than my desk, and now I don't even do the work at all and am still just lurking about...

 

[Shaun__]

I hope everybody has had positive experiences here, for me it was the nice notes members sent me when I was fighting cancer the other year, it really made me feel better.

 

[PlayboyMegan]

One of my favorite things about this forum is how quickly people forget. I've stuck my foot in my mouth a couple of times, been involved in several heated debates, been ganged up on, very often have the minority opinion. But I noticed that when I apologize, it is heard and accepted by almost all. And when I don't apologize, it is forgotten just a few days later.
So while I completely respect your decision to take a break, just know that any drama you went through will probably be forgotten within a week or less.

 

[ACFFAN69]

What an amazingly open, honest and well thought out post.

I've made a list of positive experiences that this forum has given me in the VERY short time I've been here comparatively, I'll try to keep it as vague as possible:

1) A forum debate about the possibility of friendship between members and cam models at a time where I was convinced that models/members couldn't consider each other friends, yet still at the time caring about the well-being of a few of these models. A models post reminded me that the definition of a relationship doesn't matter, all that matters is if it is a positive aspect of your life. Don't over-think it and ruin a good thing. It really removed a lot of cynicism I had with camming.

2) A model posting a video/song that I go back to multiple times a week, which helps me remind myself how beautiful life can be if we would just open ourselves up to helping each other a little more. This has actually at least a small part of a change to my perspective on viewing other people I would previously just pass by and ignore in life.

3) A certain member whose politics I am sure I am somewhat opposed to, but at the same time very much respect his drive and commitment to doing the right thing. I'm still apathetic when it comes to grand social change, but I'm curious to see where his drive will bring him and how much I have to learn from it.

4) An outlet that allowed me to meet some very cool models using the ACF tag in MFC searches. I pretty much only bother viewing ACF models nowadays.

5) The small sense of community this forum has in the public section. I wish there was more posts in public, but compared to other forums the lack of posts also does make it feel like a fun small community to be a part of. Rather then being a large overwhelming forum where no one remembers anyone else.

6) The fact that there exists a forum that we get to see the models in a more positive light compared to "other" cam model sites.

7) The bitter posts that spring up from the "jilted lovers", "I've been ripped off", and "Cam Models are evil" members, which serve as a constant reminder for myself not to take MFC too serious.

8) A far larger appreciation of the camming business, and appreciation of how difficult a job camming actually is. I wouldn't dare say I understand it having not done it, but I can say I'm far more educated on it. I think without this knowledge I would have probably bailed on some really nice models after a bad day, rather then empathize with them.

9) A certain male cam model who after every stunningly written post makes me imagine a mic drop and the following forum equivalent occuring:
http://s3.amazonaws.com/rapgenius/rap_battle.gif (damn file is too large to attach!)

 

[LilyEvans]

I really agree with all the things that have already been said so I won't rehash them all, but one of my favorite things about this forum?

U nvr rly c ne1 type leik dis, {{LOL!!!}}

There's nothing worse than trying to read a forum where most people can't be bothered to type out real sentences. It seems that nearly everyone here uses (or at least attempts to use) proper grammar, spelling, and punctuation, which I think speaks volumes about the average intelligence level of ACF users.

 

[eyeteach]

Why would you feel the need to leave? And why do I feel like I've lost yet another member of my family? Maybe not everyone can get along but in the end it's like we (for the most part) come back to each other and hug it out. Have I felt in the past that I've been unfairly treated in some way? I have to admit that I have, but like so may others I too have found more positives on this forum than negatives. You add so much to these boards, and already in this thread alone you've given us non-models a small peek at what goes on in the model only section...HUGE props for that!

I hope you change your mind and decide to stick around, I sincerely hope that you do.


PS
<whispers: Do any of the models talk about me in the super, secret model only section??? >

 

[IsabellaSnow]

One of my favorite things about this forum is how quickly people forget. I've stuck my foot in my mouth a couple of times, been involved in several heated debates, been ganged up on, very often have the minority opinion. But I noticed that when I apologize, it is heard and accepted by almost all. And when I don't apologize, it is forgotten just a few days later.
So while I completely respect your decision to take a break, just know that any drama you went through will probably be forgotten within a week or less.

Thank you Megan and thank you eyeteach, your words mean a lot I agree with Megan that this has been one of my favourite parts of this forum, literally there have been times when I've been practically arguing my point with someone on one thread and in another me and that person are agreeing and supporting eachother. The reason really I felt it might be worth kicking it in is because this has been one of my favourite things about the forum. In the thread in question several people came up and accused me of things from other threads and made it pretty personal. People that I'd always respected and cared about, I had no idea they felt that way about me, I guess it made me realise that actually I have no idea if most people here just tolerate me. I can handle having a debate on here, but my current mentality cannot handle it becoming personal. I don't want to be that person on the forum who everyone would rather just leave, or people cringe every time I write a post. It's not fair on the other posters, and I really don't have time to get stressed feeling like I constantly have to defend myself. Last night I came home from work and obsessed over it until 3am. I just don't have the time for it. I know I'd end up posting the same kind of things and being drawn into the debates, and I'd rather remember my experience here as being positive and leave my friendships on here in a good way. I will continue posting in some threads, probably just model's only for the next few months, but I go travelling after that anyway

By the way I'm also not saying this stuff as any dig on the people who said brought up stuff on the other thread, you're entitled to your opinions and that's fine. This isn't personal. I write posts that totally depend on the person, some love them, some hate them. For everyone in the future though, remember that leaving shit in each thread and being able to forgive and forget is one of the best parts in this forum. I know it's easy to bring stuff up when you have history with people, but it changes the dynamic of things and if more people do it then less people will feel comfortable voicing their true feelings.

This isn't an "I've been bullied off the forum", it's more that at the moment it doesn't look like I'll be returning to camland much if at all and I'm having to work like a machine anyway so it's kind of like, I have barely any free time and I'm leaving so soon anyway so I don't want to spend that time that I should be doing my own thing appearing/being bitter and twisted whilst giving myself a headache for staying too long on the computer. It just seems like it's time to go and call it a day, and I'd much rather I get to say goodbye to everyone properly and be able to tell you all how much I care about you and what a positive impact you've had on my life than just gradually slink off never to be heard from again. I've done that with too many people in my life and seeing as I feel ACF has been significant I think it deserves more than that.

 

[PunkInDrublic]

Bumpin this to mention that the way Amber moderates the forum is a huge positive. Quick to take out the trash but lets people speak their mind. You don't have to worry about being banned for having an opinion that doesn't fit in.