Post-orgasm guilt during a private

[LadyLuna]

As for the original post - the only time I felt guilty was after my first private with a lady I had spent lots of time chatting. At the end I had said "It was fun", to which she replied "for you, yes". That was feeling guilty, and whilst we still chatted for many more months before she quit - I never took her private, or in group, again (no, I didn't exit asap either ). Nearly 30 months later and I still remember it - it made an impact.

:/ Even I have more tact than that!

There have been times when I've had a bad private, but if he said afterwards something like "It was fun" or "I enjoyed that", then my response is "I'm glad you liked it!" If I get the chance to speak that, there will be no doubt in your mind that I really am glad you liked it. Usually, it's not the other person's fault that I didn't enjoy myself- it's just a bad day, or we just didn't click. If the private was turning into a bad experience, the person usually finds himself banned before it could ruin my mood.

 

[Shaun__]

I never feel guilty afterwards, I try to get a feel for how my friends are doing before I even ask for private time. I also would hope that they know I understand sometimes they need to tell me no, and maybe do things another day. My privates tend to be enjoyable for us both if I can make it that way.

 

[Zoomer]

Oh, no we were friendly and talkative. We talked a lot. I took it as a stark hit to home that, despite laughing and having fun while online, this was a job that she did - not because she enjoyed it, not because she wanted to, but she needed to in order to get where she wanted to go (paying for uni).

A stark reminder that whilst I enjoyed seeing her naked and playing with a toy, she was a person with real feelings. I felt guilty because, during that show, I was basically getting myself off and honestly wasn't even thinking if she was enjoying the same. A reminder that yes, whilst you can see the body the other side, its still a person, and did not treat her how I would treat someone in person.

She left camming about 3 months later - and several years on she's happily employed (she's also with a partner - female) and enjoying life.

It also changed my outlook towards everything. These days, its whatever the woman enjoys the most is what I enjoy - but most of all, irrespective of laughs you may see - they're real people we interact with daily. Things may seem okay, but have to be considerate. Wasn't offended, or regretful... and whilst everyone knows they're real people, we do treat them differently to how we would in person. I try not to. I felt guilty because I would never have treated a woman like that at all...

If I didn't care, then I wouldn't have felt guilty.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

You have a point on that zoomer, I've been pushed into doing shows and had members moan at me at times when I'm ill/it's that time of the month etc. I don't give in, but it annoys me, how could they actually enjoy a show that I'm hating? Fair enough if I'm doing it for different reasons, but surely you want them to at least be comfortable doing it.
Still I don't think she should have said that to you.

Example: If you went for a massage, obviously you're paying them for that, I doubt they're enjoying it, but if I'd paid for that experience, sure it's a job for them, but I already feel uncomfortable paying for massages for that reason, so if they made a comment like that I'd be really embarrassed and it'd ruin the experience. Fact is, many members are aware underneath that this is a job, those who don't maybe need it to be hit home a little bit, but essentially it doesn't need to be rubbed in your faces.

 

[Zoomer]

I think it's because we were friendly and she felt she could be honest with me. I really doubt she'd have said that to anyone / everyone

 

[PunkInDrublic]

A drugs forum is not a suitable reference. A suitable reference is a peer reviewed scientific paper published in a journal or other such source. These present facts with research carried out in controlled environment, with reproducible results, or stating their sample size with controlled measures in place as well as having control samples as well.

May be that some posts on the forum are referring to research papers produced by Doctors. It may well be that many of the posters are Doctors, but a post on a forum is not a reliable information source.

And just for entertainment - you are telling everyone it's a "well known fact..." regarding what you think, whilst dismissing their "well known fact..." as being wrong. The irony of arguing against someones well known fact being wrong whilst your well known fact is right, coupled with the attention to semantics in the original offending post, should be highly amusing.

But I kinda doubt you realised
.

Tons of well researched studies there. I will choose to trust doctors and others with experience in a certain field over those with no real knowledge on the subject.

 

[Evvie]

Well, finally I've been pushed over the edge to use the ignore feature on here. Am loving that I no longer have to listen to angry idiot.

There's an ignore feature?

 

[Evvie]

As for my thoughts on the actual topic, which have been pretty much expressed before:

This is my job. Nobody is forcing me to do it; I choose to do it, and I often have a really great time.

Very often, men direct me to do things which are visually very sexy, but not physically stimulating for me. Even when I am not doing things that are actively getting me off, I still enjoy the show because I take pride in giving men a good time. It may sound vain, but I take pride in looking good, showing people what they want to see, and even if my organs are not being fully stimulated, I am still enjoying myself and having a good time. If there comes a point when I am no longer enjoying the show, I end it.

The truth is that you are paying a sex worker to see a sex show. In cases where the woman is choosing to work, she is choosing to do a show with you - and even if she is not being entirely sexually stimulated, you shouldn't feel guilty about that. If the woman wanted to change the show, it's pretty darn easy to say, "Hey, I think X is so sexy but I really want to do Y, that turns me on so much." If a woman keeps quiet and takes direction, it's on her.

 

[Jupiter551]

I take pride in giving men a good time.

God that sounds really dirty, and a little chauvinist...but hot :mrgreen:

 

[Evvie]

I take pride in giving men a good time.

God that sounds really dirty, and a little chauvinist...but hot :mrgreen:

It's true, bro. I think a lot of people take great pride in being sexually competent. As a young person with a very sexual lifestyle, it is very important to me that I be able to satisfy my sexual partners, even if those people are just paying for a show. There is something very dissatisfying to me about being told I look good, but not being able to prove that I'm good. And part of my deep-rooted sexual development and fantasies revolve around proving my value to men through sexual use and submission.

 

[Jupiter551]

I take pride in giving men a good time.

God that sounds really dirty, and a little chauvinist...but hot :mrgreen:

It's true, bro. I think a lot of people take great pride in being sexually competent. As a young person with a very sexual lifestyle, it is very important to me that I be able to satisfy my sexual partners, even if those people are just paying for a show. There is something very dissatisfying to me about being told I look good, but not being able to prove that I'm good. And part of my deep-rooted sexual development and fantasies revolve around proving my value to men through sexual use and submission.

I know the whole phrase just had a slight retro feel for some reason, I imagined you leaning against a wall waiting for sailors to disembark and calling out "hey fellas, looking for a good time?"

 

[Just Me]

Doing a quick google search shows it is not an uncommon feeling and not necessarily bad. I am sure many people have different reactions after having an orgasm, the hormones and brain chemicals involved are complex. I would not worry about it too much unless it is really affecting your life. :twocents-02cents:

 

[BetsyBooty]

I take pride in giving men a good time.

God that sounds really dirty, and a little chauvinist...but hot :mrgreen:

I'm with Evvie on this 1000%.

And the OP should keep in mind that many of us take that kind of pride in our work. Where you're feeling guilty I'd be thinking, Yus! Job well done.

 

[Kunra9]

The only time I feel guilty after a private, is when my credit card company emails me to let me know I'm nearing my limit.

I'M SORRY CAPITAL ONE!