Preferential treatment of customers by unsteady camgirls

[justjoinedtopost]

Over the last week, I have had a situation pop up with two different cam models.

This situation is complicated by the fact that I have gotten quite close to the both of them. I have befriended them away from the camsites; skypes, chats, phone calls, etc. A lot of non-sexual stuff.

Now I haven't let myself be neutered here. Both know I have interest in them that is sexual/romantic in nature. They know when I tip and request, it is because they make me horny. As the friendships have grown, I have taken great care to make sure my perviness did not decrease.

I have watched both perform for customers that are pushy, as in pressuring them to do things that are over their limits, or trying to badger free skypes out of them. I have also seen them do some tamer things for these pushy customers, things that I personally find erotic. Things that I have requested. And these requests have been denied (perhaps not outright denied...one said ok then never did it, the other just kept flirting and acted as if she did not know what to do). They are not comfortable doing these things for me. But they still let the pushy customers come around and they still indulge their requests.

Blunt honesty has been my tool of choice in dealing with this conundrum so far. This has been painful for all involved, and I would much prefer to figure out what is going on here and get out ahead of it.

Any insights appreciated. I would love to know what their perspective on this is, and both seem to have a little trouble expressing it. Also taking a very critical look at myself here, so if there is anything anyone thinks I may need to consider about my own behaviour, fire away.

 

[Sevrin]

Blunt honesty has been my tool of choice in dealing with this conundrum so far. This has been painful for all involved, and I would much prefer to figure out what is going on here and get out ahead of it.

Any insights appreciated. I would love to know what their perspective on this is, and both seem to have a little trouble expressing it. Also taking a very critical look at myself here, so if there is anything anyone thinks I may need to consider about my own behaviour, fire away.

You need to decide whether you value their confidence in you more than their willingness to indulge your wishes. If they refuse your wish, I wouldn't take it as a slight, but just as them not feeling comfortable doing whatever you requested for you at that moment.

 

[Shaun__]

The better a model knows you the more often she is going to say no, at least in my experience. Sometimes even to the point where you cannot buy the same experience in private that you could see in public chat as a guest. All you can do is talk to them about it, if they will listen to that topic of discussion at all.

 

[HiGirlsRHot]

The better a model knows you the more often she is going to say no, at least in my experience. Sometimes even to the point where you cannot buy the same experience in private that you could see in public chat as a guest. All you can do is talk to them about it, if they will listen to that topic of discussion at all.

I've experienced the same thing also. Nice to see I'm not alone. I call it being friendzoned by a model. My wild ass guess is as we become closer with a model we get viewed less as just a source of $, and more as an actual person. This creates some shyness and awkwardness for sexual activities. That's one theory the other is they are just getting tired of dealing with us and wish we would just empty our wallets and leave them alone.

What to do about it? Fuck if I know.

 

[StacySins]

I know that when I worked on MFC I found it more awkward to do sexier shows with someone who I thought of as a friend than someone that I didn't know very well. Even on SM I sometimes feel this way but not too the same degree I did on MFC.

It's a bit of a catch 22, MFC is a adult entertainment site but at the same time it is a social site where some people go to hang out with their friends. I think the best way to go is to talk to these girls, find out if they feel awkward doing the more explicit things with you because they few you as a friend and if they do then you've gotta work together to find a fix or a happy medium.

 

[Puffin]

They are not comfortable doing these things for me.

Could it be that you are friends and for these models it's harder to get sexy with a friend?

Relevant could be friendship dynamics that is touched on in this thread.

Now I haven't let myself be neutered here. Both know I have interest in them that is sexual/romantic in nature. They know when I tip and request, it is because they make me horny. As the friendships have grown, I have taken great care to make sure my perviness did not decrease.

'perviness did not decrease' does that means you continue to tip as much? If so, why?

Have you thought about having more premium accounts and being pervy under other usernames.

 

[Shaun__]

Have you thought about having more premium accounts and being pervy under other usernames.

That seems creepy and stalkerish, besides you recognize the person typing at you when you spend lots of time reading each other.

 

[Puffin]

@Shaun__ yes, good point.

 

[TacoBelle]

The better a model knows you the more often she is going to say no, at least in my experience. Sometimes even to the point where you cannot buy the same experience in private that you could see in public chat as a guest. All you can do is talk to them about it, if they will listen to that topic of discussion at all.

Shaun's post made me think about this: If a model is willing to do something in public chat but not in private with you, it might not be because she knows you too well. It could be that her boyfriend/husband is ok with the idea of general porn-makings (like doing cumshows in public chat), but not ok with the idea of her doing it one-on-one in private. To many guys, that makes it way more personal (regardless of whether the guy in the private is a close regular or a random stranger) and more of a "cheating" aspect.

That might not be the case for you, Shaun, but it might be for someone else reading this thread and feeling the same way.

 

[Ann_Sulu]

@I_Am_Iris Thank you. I was trying to figure out how to word it, because it feels ridiculous to say "Yep, the couple won't have arguments so often over public shows as much as one on one with the same dude over and over." Sigh.

Edit: I wanna also add that the same thing can totally happen with guys who just seem to get along too well with the camgirl too. She might just not want to be causing friction in the relationship, which can yeah make it really awkward.

 

[Azhrarn]

Any insights appreciated. I would love to know what their perspective on this is, and both seem to have a little trouble expressing it. Also taking a very critical look at myself here, so if there is anything anyone thinks I may need to consider about my own behaviour, fire away.

Don't really expect you to listen to me, but perhaps my remarks might benefit someone else.

With the exception of the non-nude/tease chat rooms, MFC "relationships" work best when there are no feelings involved on either side. On the one side you have guys paying for sex and various degrees of an online "girlfriend experience", on the other side you have cam models trying to earn a living. When guys start to develop genuine feelings, like not wanting to see a cam girl naked, most cam girls don't want to deal with it because there's no upside to the situation. The odds of a real sexual relationship developing are usually nil, and trying to explain that will only result in a lost customer and lost income - at best. When cam models start to develop genuine feelings (of friendship), often there is no upside as well. They feel uncomfortable performing for their "friends" and would prefer that the relationship become more platonic at the same time that their "friend" is starting to harbor greater sexual fantasies. And once again, trying to explain this will often result in a lost customer and lost income - at best.

Blunt honesty is a blunt tool that rarely yields good results. But for what it's worth, what you don't seem to understand is that you have neutered yourself, by trying to become "friends" with these cam models who have no interest in you sexually or romantically, because if they did, you wouldn't have to request, much less pay for, their sexual services.

 

[annamaytiddies]

To me, it just sounds like you're acting like a jealous boyfriend of sorts and you're pouting because you can't make them do X or Y just so you can have a quick jerk off session. If you really respect them as much as you say, then you'd let it slide. They don't need a reason why they cater different things to different people. I feel like pushing it further will just lose you any respect you've built up. No matter how much you want to see them do your request, no means no. You're better off finding another model that will sincerely enjoy the act just to get it out of your system. Just my 2 cents

 

[n_i_c_u]

I don't know how much this is preferential treatment or whatever, It sorta feels like it but...

I recently had an experience with my favorite model who I have been around for five months pretty much daily. I am pretty shy and pretty much just a constant room tipper kind of 'nice' guy who just enjoys her presence so much when I am in her room and just tips like no tommorrow (Tokens go so fast! Jeez). I became more of the friendzoned guy and she sees me as a friend (I think...hopefully).

I actually spied on her private once when I was just getting to know her and it was pretty Hot....I told her about it because my reality makes me feel guilty, deep down, for doing stuff like that and she was totally cool. I shouldn't feel guilty for using a function on the site...but, people are people and the "spying" thing makes me feel like a creep in a way even though tokens go to her.

So, I got the courage two days ago to take her to private a second time (shower show was the first time and there wasn't a lot of talking) and she was soooo cool and asked me what I wanted and I told her-- it was similar to the private I spied on-- and then after starting...she said "do you like it (insert member person's name I spied on here)"?

To be honest, whenever I tip her she always says "Thank you (my real name here)" and I do that a lot. That same dude, who I spied on with her, must have been tipping her in her room months earlier and she said "Thank You (my real name here)" instead of him (she was sooo embarrassed by that she told me about it and I told her to stop saying my name when I tip).


So I don't know. I laugh because of the circumstances with it happening to him and it happening to me. I can see how it happened in a way, but, I almost feel like I was never meant to ask for her to perform for me in private because of the friendzone.

 

[Shaun__]

Shaun's post made me think about this: If a model is willing to do something in public chat but not in private with you, it might not be because she knows you too well. It could be that her boyfriend/husband is ok with the idea of general porn-makings (like doing cumshows in public chat), but not ok with the idea of her doing it one-on-one in private. To many guys, that makes it way more personal (regardless of whether the guy in the private is a close regular or a random stranger) and more of a "cheating" aspect.

That might not be the case for you, Shaun, but it might be for someone else reading this thread and feeling the same way.

I keep deleting everything I type here, but it is so very complicated in my case. It is like some dramatic play full of my stupidity, and misunderstandings. My incompetence in life is truly awe inspiring sometimes.

 

[FayePotato]

This is just my personal experience, and I've only been camming for a few months, but I have two members that I talk to pretty often who are always in my room, that I've become quite good friends with. However, when we talk they still make sexual remarks and flirt so our conversations aren't strictly platonic.
I'd probably feel way more excited, and comfortable, to go into a private session with one of these guys, honestly. Neither of them have wanted one yet (though one has bought a custom video from me) but I think I would enjoy it more than I do my usual privates, which are always from guys I have never seen or talked to before. I know both these guys are nice, they're not going to pull anything weird on me, and in the case of one of them I know his kinks so I would have a better idea of how to perform for him without needing to ask as much. So overall I think I would feel more comfortable, and LESS awkward in private with them than I would with a total stranger.
But that's just me.

 

[Azhrarn]

This is just my personal experience, and I've only been camming for a few months, but I have two members that I talk to pretty often who are always in my room, that I've become quite good friends with. However, when we talk they still make sexual remarks and flirt so our conversations aren't strictly platonic.
I'd probably feel way more excited, and comfortable, to go into a private session with one of these guys, honestly. Neither of them have wanted one yet (though one has bought a custom video from me) but I think I would enjoy it more than I do my usual privates, which are always from guys I have never seen or talked to before. I know both these guys are nice, they're not going to pull anything weird on me, and in the case of one of them I know his kinks so I would have a better idea of how to perform for him without needing to ask as much. So overall I think I would feel more comfortable, and LESS awkward in private with them than I would with a total stranger.
But that's just me.

I think any girl would enjoy a private more with a regular who she knew and got along with rather than a total stranger. Some girls won't even do privates with strangers. But a regular who is a good customer is not necessarily a friend. If you began to seriously think of either of those guys as friends, I think you might find your feelings about performing for them starting to change.

 

[Teagan]

1, Im gonna assume your tipping has kept up with your requests cause that should just be common sense as the first thing to look at.

2. Maybe the girls need a lil more money that night so they are willing to bend or break their own rules that night for a bit more cash in their pocket. Maybe it's a slow night and they wanna make goal and get off. Maybe their water heater just broke and they need money to cover it. The list can go on with these but any could be true. Normally they may not do such things but that night or nights they felt the need to.

3. Maybe the night you are asking for something they can not or can not comfortably do. For instance you want a pussy flash and she's on her period. She says no of course as it's not comfy for her. The next night she's done and flashes for someone who tips for it. You feel slighted in a way but she had a valid reason to deny you and not them. Maybe one night she slept wrong and so doggy style is painful and you request for such is denied. The next night she's better and does so for a tip. It's not personal toward you but because of something else you know nothing about.

4, Some people feel the opposite way in doing privates or such for regulars. Some people are more comfy doing them for complete strangers instead of people they know better.

 

[Azhrarn]

4, Some people feel the opposite way in doing privates or such for regulars. Some people are more comfy doing them for complete strangers instead of people they know better.

I'll agree that those with certain psychological conditions may find it more comfortable, perhaps even exciting, to do privates for strangers. Just as some find it exciting to have sex with complete strangers irl, despite the dangers involved, well, actually partially because of the dangers involved.

 

[Teagan]

I'll agree that those with certain psychological conditions may find it more comfortable, perhaps even exciting, to do privates for strangers. Just as some find it exciting to have sex with complete strangers irl, despite the dangers involved, well, actually partially because of the dangers involved.

I wouldnt put it any where near the same thing as having actual sex with a stranger. Its not dangerous at all to have a private with a stranger on cam. It may not be anywhere near exciting to the girl either. Id equate it to more to some people feeling more comfy talking to a stranger than a friend sometimes. Strangers wont judge and if they do it wont matter cause youll never see them again. It's more anon and therefore a safer feeling. Its why so many people will blog anon or sites where you can confess things anon exist. It's not that people do it for excitement or the thrill of it, they do it to get things off their chest and in a safe environment.
A private with a stranger is more safe sometimes cause if they guy hates it the girl can just think "well whatever, i'm not out anything or a regular if he never comes back." A regular however, especially a good tipping one, if lost means the camgirl could be potentially be out a lot more. Not just money but any friendship they have built as well.

 

[FayePotato]

I think any girl would enjoy a private more with a regular who she knew and got along with rather than a total stranger. Some girls won't even do privates with strangers. But a regular who is a good customer is not necessarily a friend. If you began to seriously think of either of those guys as friends, I think you might find your feelings about performing for them starting to change.

One of these members, I might not call a "friend" as much anymore. We used to talk everyday (off MFC) but we're very far apart in age and don't have that much in common, so we did stop talking as much because we would run out of things to talk about.
However, with the other, I would definitely consider him a friend, and a pretty close one at that. We have TONS in common, we talk for hours outside of MFC almost every day, he's helped me with computer problems, we send each other snaps of regular everyday stuff we're doing, and 90% of our conversations have nothing to do with anything sexual. We just talk on and on about the interests we share, experiences we've had, ect. In addition to this, a good amount of the things he tips for while I'm on cam are non-sexual, silly stuff.
All that being said, he still buys my porn, compliments my appearance, loves my sexy snaps, and has joined all the group shows I've done since I met him. I know he's attracted to me and interested in me sexually, so this isn't a platonic friendship, but I still definitely consider it a friendship nonetheless.
And I still would love to do a private with him, if he wanted one!

 

[Azhrarn]

@Teagan - I can only go by what I've been told, but the issue with strangers as I understand it is that they might turn abusive or weird, which, depending upon the cam girl's state of mind, might seriously mess her up.

@KittyLeFaye - If you don't mind sharing, why would you love to do a private with your other friend? And why haven't you suggested it?

 

[Teagan]

@Teagan - I can only go by what I've been told, but the issue with strangers as I understand it is that they might turn abusive or weird, which, depending upon the cam girl's state of mind, might seriously mess her up.

Its a possibility. But then again so may a regular. With a stranger though if the private turns bad it's no skin off a girls back to tell him to fuck the hell off. She is out nothing. Thats the safety of it. If a regular does however she is out a ton potentially. She has to either ban him outright and lose everything with him, might risk herself in some way if he has things on her, or handle the situation gingerly to try to keep him in line while keeping him around. Its a fine line she then has to play. A stranger is much easier in that sense and there's no worries about him leaving for forever.

If however any comments from an asshole is gonna mess her up she shouldnt be camming to begin with though that day.Cause if that's the case abusive and weird comments are gonna be abundant just in chat alone.

 

[Gen]

Also I'm not one of those "it's just the internet, get over it" people, but if someone's being abusive during a private....just end it. They aren't physically with you, and especially on MFC there's no repercussion (on Streamate, they could leave bad feedback, but you could screenshot the abuse and ask for the feedback removed - irrelevant though because you wouldn't be on there if you didn't want to do privates with strangers).

It's shitty when people are jerks or act abusive, but the model has just as much control as the member to say "fuck this" and bail at any time.

 

[FayePotato]

@Azhrarn - I know my friend well enough to be able to expect how he'll talk to me, and that he'll be respectful, so I imagine there'd be a lot less wariness of not knowing how the guy on the other end is going to behave. I should also clarify that I don't accept privates from someone who just requests one out of the blue - I always make sure to have a conversation with the person to find out what kind of thing they're looking for, but that doesn't give a lot of sense of character. And unless my friend were to pull a complete 180 and randomly turn into an asshole (which seems unlikely, but I know isn't impossible) I know I wouldn't have to worry about a lot of the negative things I've experienced in privates before. Also, no matter how friendly we've gotten with each other, it's always kept in mind that this friendship is based on him being sexually attracted to me, as is the nature of the job.
I have suggested to my room that I'd like to go private before I have to leave on a few different occasions while he's been there, and he hasn't requested one. I'm not going to suggest it to him directly because I feel that if it's something he wants, he'll ask for it.

 

[justjoinedtopost]

You need to decide whether you value their confidence in you more than their willingness to indulge your wishes. If they refuse your wish, I wouldn't take it as a slight, but just as them not feeling comfortable doing whatever you requested for you at that moment.

If push comes to shove, I will take the confidence over the indulgence any day. But ideally, I would like to have both. Should I have to choose, my confidence will remain free of charge for as long as they are interested, whilst my tips seek out a place where I can be indulged. I would rather not go this route.

The better a model knows you the more often she is going to say no, at least in my experience. Sometimes even to the point where you cannot buy the same experience in private that you could see in public chat as a guest. All you can do is talk to them about it, if they will listen to that topic of discussion at all.

I've experienced the same thing also. Nice to see I'm not alone. I call it being friendzoned by a model. My wild ass guess is as we become closer with a model we get viewed less as just a source of $, and more as an actual person. This creates some shyness and awkwardness for sexual activities. That's one theory the other is they are just getting tired of dealing with us and wish we would just empty our wallets and leave them alone.

What to do about it? Fuck if I know.

Quick group hug...

Relevant could be friendship dynamics that is touched on in this thread.

'perviness did not decrease' does that means you continue to tip as much? If so, why?

Have you thought about having more premium accounts and being pervy under other usernames.

Thanks for the link.
Tipping levels went up, slightly with one, much more with the other.
I have other premium accounts, but...

That seems creepy and stalkerish, besides you recognize the person typing at you when you spend lots of time reading each other.

...I am not comfortable approaching them as an anonymous perv (though I did threaten to do that with one if she didn't straighten up). My other accounts are mainly used for positive reinforcement purposes. For example, if I find out someone is feeling their ass is a little too fat, it is a safe bet that sometime in the near future someone they have never seen before is going to show up and start telling them they have the most beautiful ass in the world in tipnotes.

Don't really expect you to listen to me, but perhaps my remarks might benefit someone else.

Blunt honesty is a blunt tool that rarely yields good results. But for what it's worth, what you don't seem to understand is that you have neutered yourself, by trying to become "friends" with these cam models who have no interest in you sexually or romantically, because if they did, you wouldn't have to request, much less pay for, their sexual services.

I listen to everyone, perhaps even more to the people I disagree with.

Time will tell about your blunt honesty observation. Reminds me of the old saying "If you speak the truth, have a foot in the stirrup." lol

But I have not been neutered here, not by a long shot. I have had to romantically sidestep one with a reminder that I am just an older friend who lusts after her; the other has bombarded me with unrequested, personalized, very intimate surprises (which I love, don't get me wrong, but it makes me feel a little uncomfortable at times).

Furthermore, this is not a situation where I have misrepresented myself to either of them. I make it clear about when I am able to tip. If I go into their rooms with no money to spend, I let them know so they won't worry about keeping me happy when they should be focusing on others.

To me, it just sounds like you're acting like a jealous boyfriend of sorts and you're pouting because you can't make them do X or Y just so you can have a quick jerk off session. If you really respect them as much as you say, then you'd let it slide. They don't need a reason why they cater different things to different people. I feel like pushing it further will just lose you any respect you've built up. No matter how much you want to see them do your request, no means no. You're better off finding another model that will sincerely enjoy the act just to get it out of your system. Just my 2 cents

Jealousy was the first thing I considered here. I have eliminated it as a contributing factor. There are some white knight urges I am having to choke back that is complicating one of these situations, but not so much jealousy.

I respect them, but I will not let this slide. If that costs me their respect, so be it; I am not after their respect.

No means no? That is fine. I can accept no. But if no means no for the guy who has gone above and beyond in helping you out, but yes for the guy who ripped you off for a skype a few weeks ago, then there is a problem. They don't need a reason to do this, of course; neither do they need me hanging around.

Both times, I let the model know I was going to find someone to play with and left. And I did. Both were bothered by this, one to the point of bawling. This makes me feel horrible. I am hoping to avoid this in the future.

...she said "do you like it (insert member person's name I spied on here)"?...and she said "Thank You (my real name here)" instead of him (she was sooo embarrassed by that she told me about it and I told her to stop saying my name when I tip).

So I don't know. I laugh...

Had this happen. Funny after the fact, but at the time it sent me into a panic. Started sending her "IT WASN'T ME IT WASN'T ME" messages like crazy.

 

[Azhrarn]

@AzhrarnI have suggested to my room that I'd like to go private before I have to leave on a few different occasions while he's been there, and he hasn't requested one. I'm not going to suggest it to him directly because I feel that if it's something he wants, he'll ask for it.

This is a great way to go about things. However, the fact that he hasn't responded to your indirect invitations makes me believe not that he doesn't want a private, but that he has rather strong feelings for you.

@Azhrarn Also, no matter how friendly we've gotten with each other, it's always kept in mind that this friendship is based on him being sexually attracted to me, as is the nature of the job.

I think some degree of sexual attraction is a feature of many/most real world cross-sex friendships, so I don't see that as an issue. The issue is, you don't charge your friends money to talk to you, do you? If this guy were to suddenly stop tipping you, what would happen to the "friendship" then?

True relationships are organic, they're either growing, or they're dying. I believe you perceive this guy as a good customer, while he perceives you as a potential love interest - a common enough situation on MFC to my understanding. How to resolve this "friendship" is the underlying problem inherent in MFC.

 

[Joeternal]

Your post sounds kind of weird to me, but I'll take it at face value and respond to it seriously, since I have had some experience in this area. There have been a few cam girls over time that I've developed more "real" relationships with. What you seem to be missing is the separation most cam girls make between their real life and their job. If you're talking to them a lot away from the site, chances are they are letting you in as a "real" friend and/or potential boyfriend. If so, they will generally not want to be doing shows for you. They distance themselves from it, it's a job to them. If they're letting you in, they want you to treat them as you would any woman who is not a cam girl.

Short answer, if what you want out of the relationship is shows on the cam site, you should stop "leading them on" by pretending to be their "real life" friend and/or prospect. You have to choose one or the other - cam customer or real life friend/suitor. They won't let you have it both ways. There may be some who don't have that line, and would just as soon jump your bones in real life from the get go, but I think they're rare.

 

[justjoinedtopost]

1, Im gonna assume your tipping has kept up with your requests cause that should just be common sense as the first thing to look at.

2. Maybe the girls need a lil more money that night so they are willing to bend or break their own rules that night for a bit more cash in their pocket. Maybe it's a slow night and they wanna make goal and get off. Maybe their water heater just broke and they need money to cover it. The list can go on with these but any could be true. Normally they may not do such things but that night or nights they felt the need to.

3. Maybe the night you are asking for something they can not or can not comfortably do. For instance you want a pussy flash and she's on her period. She says no of course as it's not comfy for her. The next night she's done and flashes for someone who tips for it. You feel slighted in a way but she had a valid reason to deny you and not them. Maybe one night she slept wrong and so doggy style is painful and you request for such is denied. The next night she's better and does so for a tip. It's not personal toward you but because of something else you know nothing about.

4, Some people feel the opposite way in doing privates or such for regulars. Some people are more comfy doing them for complete strangers instead of people they know better.

1. Tipping is not the issue.
2. The things I have requested are not things that require bending or breaking of rules.
3. You are right on this point. They cannot comfortably fulfill my requests. But the reasons are entirely psychological, not based on physical considerations at all. More on this further down (and again, I have not requested shit that is way out there).

A private with a stranger is more safe sometimes cause if they guy hates it the girl can just think "well whatever, i'm not out anything or a regular if he never comes back." .......Not just money but any friendship they have built as well.

This is huge, and something I need to consider moving forward. Believe you may have smacked the nail on the head here.

Your post sounds kind of weird to me, but I'll take it at face value and respond to it seriously, since I have had some experience in this area....If they're letting you in, they want you to treat them as you would any woman who is not a cam girl.

Short answer, if what you want out of the relationship is shows on the cam site, you should stop "leading them on" by pretending to be their "real life" friend and/or prospect. You have to choose one or the other - cam customer or real life friend/suitor.

Yes, I am weird. But it is a serious post, and I thank you for your serious response. Lot of food for thought in there.

Should point out, I have treated them as I would any woman who is not a cam girl. And you may be right about the last part. I may not be able to have it both ways, idk. But I am not quite ready to give up on it just yet.




Wound up talking with the both of them more about this. Here is what I gathered...

In the case of one, it was apparently performance anxiety related. She was worried about getting it wrong for me. She agreed to the request, but then froze up.

In the case of the other, a breakdown in communication. Back when she first started, her limits were wayyy different. She wouldn't even get nude. Too shy. Told me she would never play with a toy on cam. She got comfortable with the idea, but didn't get comfortable with the idea of me knowing about it. If I hadn't wandered in on a private, I probably still wouldn't know . She said that she was worried if I found out I wouldn't like her anymore, and it was some of the things I said early on that left her with that impression. She is smart; she listened to what I said, and concluded "He likes nice girls, so when I am with him I need to be a nice girl." Having a little trouble letting go of that idea from the sounds of it.

Bless their hearts, the both of them (assuming they are not full of shit).

 

[Azhrarn]

I’m going to agree with joeternal for the most part; although I’ll probably come across as being a bit rude.

When I read your last two posts, each made me say WTF and want to throw up my hands. You treat them as you would any other woman? Really? So here’s the flip side of the question I asked KittyLeFaye, “Are you normally in the habit of tipping your female friends for sexual shows?”

I hesitate to make this analogy because I believe there are significant differences between cam girls and strippers, but one thing I know from experience is that if a stripper has any interest in you as a person, she’ll have zero interest in your money. She simply doesn’t need it, and even if she did, she wouldn’t want to take it from you because she doesn’t view you as an ATM. Because of the nature of their jobs, strippers have few if any inhibitions. So if they have an interest in you, they will readily let you know that they are open to dating, fucking, or even marriage. And if they are not interested in you, there is no amount of money you can give them that will make them interested. Money means nothing to them because they can get all the money they need from dozens of other guys.

Again, I’m not making the argument that strippers = cam models, however, I am going to put this out there as a general rule: If a cam girl expects money to interact with you, she doesn’t think of you as a friend. And if you give a woman money to perform for you sexually, you don’t think of her as a friend either.

 

[Ann_Sulu]

So here’s the flip side of the question I asked KittyLeFaye, “Are you normally in the habit of tipping your female friends for sexual shows?”

I know this isn't quite what you were saying, but just gonna slip in that many camgirls are friends of other camgirls. You may not know we're a camgirl due to us being incognito by using a member account, but it happens...often enough.

I feel camming has added a new category of friends. I guess you could say it's something of a mix of fuck-buddy/friend-with-benefits (sex without getting personal about the sex) stripper, and I'd say something like a MMO.

I've had members who I've become good friends with over the years. Yeah, granted they don't know my name, and sure they've seen me using a dildo...but yeah we still consider each other friends. If they seem a little off one day, it's likely I'll send them a message saying they can shoot me a message if they need to talk or something along those lines. Not everyone who I consider an online friend is a high tipper (though I will admit, I have no idea how many of them might more anonymously be purchasing things like clips). Some however have had job changes in the years, and such. Unless someone is either trying for free dirty talk, or driving off other members...I don't tell people to bug off if they aren't tipping. I personally consider that rude. If they message me while I'm offline, I manage my time by only responding to things like that during certain times a day. I don't mind telling people I'm busy. Plus everyone needs time away from the computer once in a while.

And if they are not interested in you, there is no amount of money you can give them that will make them interested. Money means nothing to them because they can get all the money they need from dozens of other guys.

I've never worked in a strip club, but I think both of us know camming doesn't always pay like that. Generally speaking even lower camscore models will tip themselves to make their camscores higher if they can.

Some models (such as myself) don't ask members to tip unless the member is begging. If a member-friend has told me they're in hard times...I know it's up to them, but I'd rather they took care of themselves first.

I figure the situation varies depending on the way things go down between each model and member, so no offence to OP, but though we can make assumptions...we won't get the model's side of this.