So I started a new job last month...

[eyeteach]

advancing the cause of fellow wounded soldiers when returning home. I get sent to Florida with a team to set up a possible marathon at one of the amusement parks there (think HUGE corporation.). During some off time I'm perusing a park, people watching mostly, and enter a restaurant to eat. Okay, so I'm not sure where to go with this so let me cut to the chase. I meet a girl working at this particular park, she's from Canada and is down for a year on a work visa. We met at the restaurant where she works and talked for a bit, nothing heavy just introducing ourselves to each other and what not while she hosted. I work up the courage to ask for her cell number, she blushed, giggled and programmed it into my phone and later that night I think, "What the hell?" call her up. She actually answered! I mean fuck me a runnin' she actually picked up! We spent probably 3 hours chatting with each other, telling each other about our lives in as much time as could've been told. I'm thinking how weird this is because she's nothing like I'd usually be attracted too, except for her personality...she blew me away with that PLUS she wasn't turned off by the fact that I've a prosthetic limb below my left knee.

The next morning I'm about to walk out my hotel room when my phone buzzes a ring to alert me to a text msg; it's her wishing me a good morning and asking about my plans for the day. I tell her we have a couple of meetings then I've got nothing going on in the afternoon. She replies that she's off work for the day and asks if I'd like to join she and two of her roommates later that day in one of the parks. Like I'd turn her down! We set up a time and place to meet and that afternoon I'm walking through this park with she and her roommates. She's by my side the entire time, whether it be on a ride or walking or sitting to catch our breath this blonde Canadian girl, whom I've never met in my life until the previous day, never leaves my side. Even when her roommates went ahead of us she still tagged along beside me. I'm not sure if she did this because she took pity on me or what, but my basic instinct told me that was probably the case. Anyway, the next two days we spend some time together, be it by phone, text message or in person over dinner and agree to keep in touch after I fly out to return home. This was three weeks ago and I've talked to her every day since then.

Here's my question and here's where I'm confused: is it just me talking myself into believing she wants me just as a friend or is there something else there? As I said, normally I wouldn't be attracted to her but her personality is so vibrant and she is SOOOOOOO stinking talented (not to mention she cute as hell and I'm, well let's just say that if we were Beauty and the Beast I certainly would not be Beauty [hint hint, nudge nudge, wink wink]). Does long distance dating actually exist? Is it worth persuing?

I'm not sure why I posted this, I'm just so confused.

 

[Misono]

It can work, but it's sometimes a struggle, even in the strongest relationships. I was with my ex for 5 years, had been living together, but after university she couldn't find work in our field locally, so moved just 3 hours away. We would get together on weekends, but it put a huge strain on things in the end, especially as I couldn't find work if I moved there. It could be done, but would probably be difficult if you get too accustomed to spending all your time together.

Out of interest, I assume she knows about the prosthesis, and that you didn't use the chat-up line of "Hey, I've got a foot and a half!" and she misunderstood you?

 

[Bocefish]

So... She's cute as hell, extremely talented with a wonderful personality, but she's not your type?

Long distance relationships usually don't work out without a fairly strong foundation to work from, even then, the odds are not all that favorable. Nobody knows you better than you, so I would suggest you realistically think about all the pros and cons yourself for a while and if you honestly feel it's doable; then ask her how she feels about long distance relationships. If you both think it's worth a shot, why not give it a chance. Far stranger things have happened.

:twocents-02cents:

 

[eyeteach]

Out of interest, I assume she knows about the prosthesis, and that you didn't use the chat-up line of "Hey, I've got a foot and a half!" and she misunderstood you?

Yes, she knows. She hasn't seen it, nor asked to see it, but the fact that when I walk on it I limp kinda gives it away. She's asked about my injuries and I've told her about them, the ambiance of those conversations usually changes and ends with her tearing up.

 

[eyeteach]

So... She's cute as hell, extremely talented with a wonderful personality, but she's not your type?

Long distance relationships usually don't work out without a fairly strong foundation to work from, even then, the odds are not all that favorable. Nobody knows you better than you, so I would suggest you realistically think about all the pros and cons yourself for a while and if you honestly feel it's doable; then ask her how she feels about long distance relationships. If you both think it's worth a shot, why not give it a chance. Far stranger things have happened.

:twocents-02cents:

Okay, let me clarify that statement; I now can see the confusion. Please no one take what I'm about to post personally, this is just my (and only my) experience. In my former life I've dated blonde girls, things never went well...think bat-shit crazy. I know, I know: the problem could have been me; hey, I'll give you that. But usually I'm most attracted to brunettes, not blondes. For some reason this particular girl caught my attention and, as I stated earlier, I took a chance.

Thank you for your two cents and I guess you're right, stranger things have happened.

 

[Finebrush]

What I found really suprising of the whole story is that being not usually attracted to her is the hair color. I really think you should stop considering it as a factor! It makes no sense at all. (seriously)

I do think she might be interested in you, not just for pity as you fear. I was once in a position where I was in love with a woman, that I knew for short time, but the thing was actually rock solid. I wasn't brave enough to abandon everything (I would be, today). I do think that for such a short experience... Is complex to decide to leave a job, and/or good situation. Probably is a wrong thing to do in many cases.

Could it be for pitty? Perhaps. Specially at your country, as people is very sensitive with that. But IMO this should never be a reason to avoid finding out how it would go with a woman that you like, and it looks like she probably likes you too. Otherwise you would never try with anyone! And it might or might not be the case, but those sensations are the good ones to be worthing it a serious try...IMO.

But if is not the case, and you don't mind living in one place or another, and can get a job there easily, might be a good idea to go there, stay some weeks in the city, go out with her, see what happens. Knowing it would be perfectly fine to stay whatever the time there if the thing really goes well.

But keeping it in distance... I wouldn't put much faith into it. Not for anything, is just very complex for both. A friendship, yep! I have many great friends from other cities, countries, even with quite different cultures.

But the story sounds indeed as something that could have probably ended in a good relationship, with the time and everything that a relationship needs... It might be possible yet. Again, these things always need a risk. In the meantime, I'd be going out in your place... You might end up knowing a great woman near you, as well !

 

[JerryBoBerry]

My brother met a woman from St. John's Island in Newfoundland. To visit her and her family he had to take a plane, get on a smaller plane, then an 8 hour ferry, another plane, car for awhile, and finally snowmobile to get to her.

They've been married 22 years now and have two kids and a grandchild. Yeah, it can work if you want it to.

He makes her mother come visit them now. :lol:

 

[Misono]

Out of interest, I assume she knows about the prosthesis, and that you didn't use the chat-up line of "Hey, I've got a foot and a half!" and she misunderstood you?

Yes, she knows. She hasn't seen it, nor asked to see it, but the fact that when I walk on it I limp kinda gives it away. She's asked about my injuries and I've told her about them, the ambiance of those conversations usually changes and ends with her tearing up.

Apologies, that line was more a setup for a joke there, although also a question. I'm sure the line itself has been done to death though! Best of luck!

 

[eyeteach]

Out of interest, I assume she knows about the prosthesis, and that you didn't use the chat-up line of "Hey, I've got a foot and a half!" and she misunderstood you?

Yes, she knows. She hasn't seen it, nor asked to see it, but the fact that when I walk on it I limp kinda gives it away. She's asked about my injuries and I've told her about them, the ambiance of those conversations usually changes and ends with her tearing up.

Apologies, that line was more a setup for a joke there, although also a question. I'm sure the line itself has been done to death though! Best of luck!

It's good, I took it in the sense you made it out to be which is a miracle in itself. For a long time after I came home I couldn't find good or humor in anything, I was pissed at the world. I was self-reclusive and inclusive, judgmental against everyone because I felt they were judging me. The times I forced myself to go out I was always on guard and confrontational; hearing little children ask their father, "Daddy, why does that man have only one leg?" or some such question would set me off to the point that I truly wanted to kill that parent. The last 14 months or so, with the help of some awesome peeps, I've softened somewhat. So don't worry about it my friend, we're cool!

I also believe that's one of, if not the major reason, I question this relationship. The past few years I've been so guarded in my relationships, and a couple have actually ended because of that. Slowly Im learning to trust again and if all she's looking for is a friend then hopefully we can continue to be friends where ever her life takes her. I'll be back in her vicinity again the week of the 16th, I told her about it when she called last night. She sounded excited and started to make tentative plans to see each other and hang out and whatnot, I guess we'll see how it goes.

 

[Misono]

Out of interest, I assume she knows about the prosthesis, and that you didn't use the chat-up line of "Hey, I've got a foot and a half!" and she misunderstood you?

Yes, she knows. She hasn't seen it, nor asked to see it, but the fact that when I walk on it I limp kinda gives it away. She's asked about my injuries and I've told her about them, the ambiance of those conversations usually changes and ends with her tearing up.

Apologies, that line was more a setup for a joke there, although also a question. I'm sure the line itself has been done to death though! Best of luck!

It's good, I took it in the sense you made it out to be which is a miracle in itself. For a long time after I came home I couldn't find good or humor in anything, I was pissed at the world. I was self-reclusive and inclusive, judgmental against everyone because I felt they were judging me. The times I forced myself to go out I was always on guard and confrontational; hearing little children ask their father, "Daddy, why does that man have only one leg?" or some such question would set me off to the point that I truly wanted to kill that parent. The last 14 months or so, with the help of some awesome peeps, I've softened somewhat. So don't worry about it my friend, we're cool!

I also believe that's one of, if not the major reason, I question this relationship. The past few years I've been so guarded in my relationships, and a couple have actually ended because of that. Slowly Im learning to trust again and if all she's looking for is a friend then hopefully we can continue to be friends where ever her life takes her. I'll be back in her vicinity again the week of the 16th, I told her about it when she called last night. She sounded excited and started to make tentative plans to see each other and hang out and whatnot, I guess we'll see how it goes.

Good to see you have a positive outlook on life then! All the best with your situation, but just go with the feels.

 

[eyeteach]

Okay, here's a condensed update. The longer version has more details but I don't think anyone would want to read that so I've shortened it to be easily read.

We finally got to talk last night, Sunday all we could do was text each other and I really wanted to hear her voice so I didn't push anything that night. But last night she called and we were able to talk, really delve into things. I asked her where our relationship stood and we discussed it, she admitted that since she's been down there she had been on only one date these last four months...between her work and class schedule she didn't have enough time to do the dating thing. Imagine my surprise when she said the only guy that she'd gone out with was me; talk about a dumb ass, and yes, she called me on it. So I asked her considering everything she and I had been through the last month or so if she considered us a dating couple, she said that since I brought it up that yes, she could see that. She asked if I wanted to date her, we talked about the distance factor and realized it wasn't as far as we initially thought, and came to the conclusion that are going to give it a try and see what happens.

There it is for now, the shortened and condensed version.

 

[Finebrush]

Go for it, man! :thumbleft:
It does look very good to me, sincerely.

 

[eyeteach]

Go for it, man! :thumbleft:
It does look very good to me, sincerely.

Thanks, we're at least going to give it a shot and see where it goes.