So. I have a fetish for spankings. That's pretty well known by now. Now I shall ramble on the subject. As a disclaimer, I'm only twenty. I may not have as many experiences as older people, but that's why this is ramblings and not an insider documentary. Cryptically, I will try to make this as much about my opinion and as little about my own preferences as possible. At least on things that don't effect what I do as a cam-whore.
A lot of people think that spankings are a punishment, and quite often they're used by couples who practice discipline. Discipline is about using rewards and punishment to encourage what the dominant partner sees fit. Punishment doesn't have to be physically painful, but it's a very beeline way to control someone and allows a bit of emotional release if needed. Encouragement of course, is any pleasantry expressed as a reward.
Both rewards and punishments types are up to the couple. That should be obvious. On that note, spankings can be used as a reward or punishment depending on how they're done. For example; kissing, rubbing, caressing, and slowly warming up the submissive can make spankings a very interment and loving experience. Whereas, the lack of this care--especially when the dominant has made an example of how pleasant spankings can be--can be effective in more ways than just physically. Discipline can also be implemented on a variety of levels, and even work with couples who only do mostly vanilla play. Discipline is not an act; it's a style.
Why is discipline a factor in relationships? Because no matter the level or means, everyone wants to please the person they love. In return, everyone wants to be grateful--as well as honest--when their partner does something for them or with them in mind. (Unless there is lack of acknowledgment, but that's why there's communication.)
I believe that anyone who strives to please their partner would experience at least a tad of guilt if they did the opposite. As such, I must once again point out that punishment doesn't have to be physically painful; and many times, other than expressing distaste, a dominant isn't required to take it further.
What does this have to do with my spanking opinions? Well, lets switch over to the subject of masochism. Google defines it as; the sexual enjoyment of pain, abuse, discipline, dominated, and so on. Personally, the only definition of the google list that I agree somewhat with is a statement on a sight whos audience is people in BDSM relationships. It reads as follows, "A person who likes pain and gets sexual excitement/satisfaction from it. There are different kinds of masochists. Some will like any kind of pain and others will only like pain in a sexual context." (aslavelife.com) Now I agree with this, but I must express the part of me that disagrees with it.
Now, the definition clearly explains that pain is satisfactory, or one could assume, pleasurable. However, I don't believe this can be the case. If you are getting pleasure from something, then it's not painful. It's pleasurable. Still, because the definition has been catered to what is "normal," the word pain was used.
Here is my definition of masochism. Someone who gets sexual enjoyment out of a physical feeling or emotion most people would conciser to be negative.
It is not painful. It is good. If it's not good, then it's not masochism. Sure, sometimes it may be harmful, but so are many common pleasures. An example of this for the masses would be people who enjoy gambling. They usually loose, yet they still crave and act on the desire to gamble. Yet, you wouldn't think someone needed help just because they enjoyed gambling; only when it causes health risks or danger to others or their future would you interview. Why? Because--and surely people may argue this--gambling for fun isn't wrong or 'bad.'
The same is true for spankings.
Now that the everyone at least has read the basics on my views, lets finish this up.
I spank myself. It feels good. I am a good girl and masturbate how I choose.
Sure, I take requests and love to do specific things for people in groups, privates, and real life, but they will always be things I enjoy.
That is pretty much all there is. Sometimes I simply call it foreplay, but in truth, I believe that spankings are a major part of my masturbation.
On a side note, if anyone knows a place online that makes super super high quality leather paddles, please let me know. I'd like one that would last me more than a month of heavy, hard, awesome use so that it lasts me more than a handful of spanking shows.
I'd like to end this by apologizing for the straight-forwardness and not making it soft and cute. Because, quite honestly, I am soft and cute. Still, the honesty of it is something I hope you guys can appreciate.
~Alex
A lot of people think that spankings are a punishment, and quite often they're used by couples who practice discipline. Discipline is about using rewards and punishment to encourage what the dominant partner sees fit. Punishment doesn't have to be physically painful, but it's a very beeline way to control someone and allows a bit of emotional release if needed. Encouragement of course, is any pleasantry expressed as a reward.
Both rewards and punishments types are up to the couple. That should be obvious. On that note, spankings can be used as a reward or punishment depending on how they're done. For example; kissing, rubbing, caressing, and slowly warming up the submissive can make spankings a very interment and loving experience. Whereas, the lack of this care--especially when the dominant has made an example of how pleasant spankings can be--can be effective in more ways than just physically. Discipline can also be implemented on a variety of levels, and even work with couples who only do mostly vanilla play. Discipline is not an act; it's a style.
Why is discipline a factor in relationships? Because no matter the level or means, everyone wants to please the person they love. In return, everyone wants to be grateful--as well as honest--when their partner does something for them or with them in mind. (Unless there is lack of acknowledgment, but that's why there's communication.)
I believe that anyone who strives to please their partner would experience at least a tad of guilt if they did the opposite. As such, I must once again point out that punishment doesn't have to be physically painful; and many times, other than expressing distaste, a dominant isn't required to take it further.
What does this have to do with my spanking opinions? Well, lets switch over to the subject of masochism. Google defines it as; the sexual enjoyment of pain, abuse, discipline, dominated, and so on. Personally, the only definition of the google list that I agree somewhat with is a statement on a sight whos audience is people in BDSM relationships. It reads as follows, "A person who likes pain and gets sexual excitement/satisfaction from it. There are different kinds of masochists. Some will like any kind of pain and others will only like pain in a sexual context." (aslavelife.com) Now I agree with this, but I must express the part of me that disagrees with it.
Now, the definition clearly explains that pain is satisfactory, or one could assume, pleasurable. However, I don't believe this can be the case. If you are getting pleasure from something, then it's not painful. It's pleasurable. Still, because the definition has been catered to what is "normal," the word pain was used.
Here is my definition of masochism. Someone who gets sexual enjoyment out of a physical feeling or emotion most people would conciser to be negative.
It is not painful. It is good. If it's not good, then it's not masochism. Sure, sometimes it may be harmful, but so are many common pleasures. An example of this for the masses would be people who enjoy gambling. They usually loose, yet they still crave and act on the desire to gamble. Yet, you wouldn't think someone needed help just because they enjoyed gambling; only when it causes health risks or danger to others or their future would you interview. Why? Because--and surely people may argue this--gambling for fun isn't wrong or 'bad.'
The same is true for spankings.
Now that the everyone at least has read the basics on my views, lets finish this up.
I spank myself. It feels good. I am a good girl and masturbate how I choose.
Sure, I take requests and love to do specific things for people in groups, privates, and real life, but they will always be things I enjoy.
That is pretty much all there is. Sometimes I simply call it foreplay, but in truth, I believe that spankings are a major part of my masturbation.
On a side note, if anyone knows a place online that makes super super high quality leather paddles, please let me know. I'd like one that would last me more than a month of heavy, hard, awesome use so that it lasts me more than a handful of spanking shows.
I'd like to end this by apologizing for the straight-forwardness and not making it soft and cute. Because, quite honestly, I am soft and cute. Still, the honesty of it is something I hope you guys can appreciate.
~Alex
