What do you tell dates you do for a job?

[JoeShmoe]

Like I said before, I don't want to keep this going. There are things I could have stated better. All I'm saying is:

1. People should be honest, as much as possible.

2. Guys who are hesitant to date a cam girl are not insecure, immature, irrational, etc. They're normal. If you approach a situation with the attitude "I'm gonna do what I wanna do and if you don't like it, that's your problem", chances are you're going to drive the guy away. Your decision to be a cam girl makes things complicated. That's not the fault of the guy.

3. When I said, "if the guy doesn't care what you do on cam, he probably doesn't care too much in general", I was talking about somebody saying "yeah sure, do whatever you want". AmberCutie is apparently married. Her profile says she doesn't do private shows or Skype, and she doesn't watch cams. I don't know one way or the other, but I suspect those boundaries have something to do with how her husband feels about it.

To sum up: Any serious relationship requires honesty, and equal consideration for both people's feelings. There has to be compromise. This subject is personal to me. I've actually given it a lot of thought, because as I mentioned before, several cam girls have expressed an interest in dating me in the past. I liked them and was attracted to them, and we had become friends, but I backed out of it because I knew it wouldn't work. To be totally honest, there is one I would go out with if she ever said the word, but what she does on cam is pretty tame compared to most. Everybody has different views on these things, I just offered my two cents. I don't want to keep rehashing it.

 

[mynameisbob84]

People should be honest, as much as possible.

I completely agree.

Guys who are hesitant to date a cam girl are not insecure, immature, irrational, etc. They're normal. If you approach a situation with the attitude "I'm gonna do what I wanna do and if you don't like it, that's your problem", chances are you're going to drive the guy away. Your decision to be a cam girl makes things complicated. That's not the fault of the guy.

I would disagree. In this example, you have the boyfriend asking the girlfriend to change who they are so that the guy feels more comfortable in the relationship. It would be like a woman dating, I dunno, a nude male model. And then deciding that, 'actually, you being a nude male model makes me uncomfortable. You're gonna have to not be a nude male model if we're gonna move forward'. It's not the guy's problem that he's a nude male model, it's the woman's problem that that bothers her. And if it does bother her, the relationship probably isn't gonna work, ya know?

 

[IsabellaSnow]

3. When I said, "if the guy doesn't care what you do on cam, he probably doesn't care too much in general", I was talking about somebody saying "yeah sure, do whatever you want". AmberCutie is apparently married. Her profile says she doesn't do private shows or Skype, and she doesn't watch cams. I don't know one way or the other, but I suspect those boundaries have something to do with how her husband feels about it.

Ok, I really want to stop you here... or about 5 posts ago... Now I'm not Amber so I do not speak for her. But I can say what I have heard from Amber and what I've picked up from her and Jawbs on here. Now maybe there are certain boundaries with them, but your little speculation is complete bullshit! It comes from absolutely nothing but your own opinions and assumption! From what I've heard from Amber she doesn't do private shows because she doesn't enjoy them. In fact there was a time when she DID do them, which is why she knows she doesn't enjoy them. I have seen absolutely no evidence that it is anything to do with her husband not being comfortable with it. In fact, I have the impression from Jawbs that he's pretty fucking cool with what Amber does and seems to be a massive helper in helping her with this forum and programs etc.

I'm sorry, I don't speak for Amber any more than you do, but that makes me fucking rage! Not sure about the "apparently" either. I think it's pretty clear that Amber is married you know... no need for the extra word.

God, you're so closed minded I want to thump things against your skull!

 

[JoeShmoe]

3. When I said, "if the guy doesn't care what you do on cam, he probably doesn't care too much in general", I was talking about somebody saying "yeah sure, do whatever you want". AmberCutie is apparently married. Her profile says she doesn't do private shows or Skype, and she doesn't watch cams. I don't know one way or the other, but I suspect those boundaries have something to do with how her husband feels about it.

Ok, I really want to stop you here... or about 5 posts ago... Now I'm not Amber so I do not speak for her. But I can say what I have heard from Amber and what I've picked up from her and Jawbs on here. Now maybe there are certain boundaries with them, but your little speculation is complete bullshit! It comes from absolutely nothing but your own opinions and assumption! From what I've heard from Amber she doesn't do private shows because she doesn't enjoy them. In fact there was a time when she DID do them, which is why she knows she doesn't enjoy them. I have seen absolutely no evidence that it is anything to do with her husband not being comfortable with it. In fact, I have the impression from Jawbs that he's pretty fucking cool with what Amber does and seems to be a massive helper in helping her with this forum and programs etc.

I'm sorry, I don't speak for Amber any more than you do, but that makes me fucking rage! Not sure about the "apparently" either. I think it's pretty clear that Amber is married you know... no need for the extra word.

God, you're so closed minded I want to thump things against your skull!

I don't know why you're being so hostile to me. Based on your previous posts, we seem to mostly agree. I think you even said yourself that you thought not doing cam-to-cam was a reasonable thing if you were in a relationship. I'm not going to comment on anyone's specific relationship that I know nothing about, so let's leave it there.

You said you don't want to date guys who have slept with prostitutes. That's awfully closed-minded of you. And yet I can totally understand and respect the fact that you feel that way. I've never have, so I guess I'm in the clear on at least one count.

 

[ISISDAGODDESS]

Haven't exactly figured out if i want to tell them or if i should just lie about what i do,family,friends dates...so for now i tell them im unemployed while i attend school..lol

 

[GoddessAiren]

I tell people what I do.
99% of them are curious and want me talk about it more. The other 1% can fuck right off.

 

[HiGirlsRHot]

Well getting back to the OPs questions.

I think it is important to understand that dating a camgirl, also carries with it SOME of the baggage that being a camgirl does. You have to either lie to your family, friends, coworkers, and children, or have an awkward conversation. It is entirely unfair to your boyfriend, if he spends months introducing you to his friends or family as an accountant, only to find out the truth later. Cause at some point, he'll be accused of lying.

On the other hand, if your family, co workers, teachers etc. don't know you are camgirl, then I don't blame any girl for not talking about to any chap on a first or second date. I have a dated a couple of woman, who's profile say they were divorced. There separations were long enough that they felt divorced,but the paperwork wasn't done. They told me after 3 or 4 dates and I was cool with that. (Although I refused to buy a house with one until the divorce was complete.) If it had been 6 months, it might have been deal breaker just because of the trust and honesty issue.

People have different views on the importance attached to sex with respect to relationship. I'm old fashion I think it is a pretty big deal. So I think the first or second time you start sleeping with guys is about as long as you should wait before telling the truth. There probably never a good time to bring up the subject, but if I after told her girl how amazing she was in bed. She then proceeded to say something well I have a fair amount of practice being sexy, my real job is cam girl. The warm afterglow of great sex would make a lot more receptive to the message, of "I am sorry I deceived you but I needed to protect my safety and privacy." If he can't handle well better to know sooner or later.

 

[Anonymous]

AmberCutie is apparently married. Her profile says she doesn't do private shows or Skype, and she doesn't watch cams. I don't know one way or the other, but I suspect those boundaries have something to do with how her husband feels about it.

That's quite an assumption you're making there. Some models don't do private shows/Skype simply because they just don't want to.

 

[EmilyConrad]

AmberCutie is apparently married. Her profile says she doesn't do private shows or Skype, and she doesn't watch cams. I don't know one way or the other, but I suspect those boundaries have something to do with how her husband feels about it.

That's quite an assumption you're making there. Some models don't do private shows/Skype simply because they just don't want to.

Seriously. I'm not in a relationship and I don't do one-on-one shows. I prefer a group where I can do what I need to do to cum and everyone can either watch and enjoy or leave if that's not their thing.

 

[GoddessAiren]

If you approach a situation with the attitude "I'm gonna do what I wanna do and if you don't like it, that's your problem", chances are you're going to drive the guy away.

GOOD.

I personally don't want anything to do with people that can't be supportive of the life choices that make me happy.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

If you approach a situation with the attitude "I'm gonna do what I wanna do and if you don't like it, that's your problem", chances are you're going to drive the guy away.

GOOD.

I personally don't want anything to do with people that can't be supportive of the life choices that make me happy.

Exactly.
There are small compromises you can make in relationships, those are ok, they're normal and natural. What is not normal and natural is stopping someone you're with doing what they want to do. If someone wants to shag a load of people while in a relationship then whether you forced them to stop or not that's still what they want to do, if you don't want to be with a person doing that then you should find someone else. If you're with someone who loves their job/career and works a lot then you can't start dating them and then go "I want you to quit because I don't like the idea of you having all that fun in work". It'd be totally reasonable for someone to say "well this job makes me happy, if you cannot understand that then that's your issue."
What you could do is try and find a solution, meeting in the middle.

A woman quitting camming because their boyfriend says so is not meeting in the middle. It seems like a really easy thing to just quit camming and get a "normal job". It's not. Camming gives me a lot to think about which actually is one of the reasons I am currently very mentally stable. Things like Acf and Mfc give me a place to release certain sides of me. Before camming I slept with a fair amount of guys and couldn't handle a steady relationship. Both things that have changed because of Mfc. If I quit camming there would be strains on my relationship much bigger than the minor stress of every now and then when someone asks my boyfriend what I do he has to lie. Strains like that he does shift work, so if I worked I would very rarely be able to see him. Strains like that I would have to sell my horse, who also keeps me sane. Strains like I would be much more tired, as tired as he is all the time. Strains like I would probably get bored with life. Strains because I would be bringing in far less income. Things would be different. Yes lots of relationships work in these situations, but right now because my boyfriend is cool enough to totally accept my camming and completely trusts me, and also realises that these guys are nowhere near me nor am I interested in them we have a really good relationship. In fact, our only strains come from him working long stressful hours at his job which make him tired, and him not having much disposable income because even though he has a decent paid job he still earns far less than I do.
Anyway, it's pretty off subject, but maybe it might interest someone.

 

[AllisonWilder]

I'll admit that my dating has been pretty limited since I started camming since I've basically been in a relationship the whole time. It's complicated and hard to explain, so I won't even try.

I met a guy out at the bar one night and we spent hours together having a great time. I was new to camming and really eager to tell him what I did because I wanted to be up front about it. It didn't come about until the end of the night when I found out that his mom was my direct supervisor at the nursing home I was also employed at. I wish I had exercised more caution in telling him that I am a camgirl because, in this instance, real life and cam life came crashing together in a way I was not comfortable with. Luckily, he was a cool guy and (as far as I know) never told his mom about it. It could have done some real damage though.

Since then, I've been more cautious about who I tell and when. It usually takes me around a month to decide if the person I've been seeing/hanging out with is someone I might want more with, so I tell them that I code graphics on an adult website for a living and go from there. Yes, it's dishonest, but one close call was enough of a wake-up call for me.

 

[VeeValencia]

Why did I read this thread!?! Ahhh!
Ok so let me just throw this out there... Not wanting to be with someone simply because other people get to see them naked is being insecure. I'm currently involved with someone who unfortunately has the same mentality as Shmoe here. If he was just some dude I started dating I would have thrown him to the curb the moment he told me he wasn't ok with it. We're much closer than that and I don't expect him to change his way of thinking just like he doesn't expect me to change mine. I told him about camming two months ago and he could have very easily just walked away because I was a camwhore; but he didn't. Why? He cares about me and his opinion of me has not changed because of my job. Him caring wouldn't mean he couldn't ever be ok with it therefore he'd have to leave me. I call bullshit on that one.

He's not ok with it because he is close-minded, insecure and scared. He's been hurt and cheated on so he thinks this is the same thing. He is WRONG. It's very easy to say that I should just move on and find someone else but it is so much harder to do.

I am not doing anything wrong by being a cam girl and he knows that. It's his insecurities that are in the way. Now we are currently just giving things time... hopefully to come to some sort of compromise (no cam-to-cam, no cumshows, idk something) or for one of us to decide that we can't deal with the other persons personality. Only time will tell BUT I will say it again. He is insecure and so are most that are jealous that their partners are in this line of work.

 

[Gen]

A woman quitting camming because their boyfriend says so is not meeting in the middle. It seems like a really easy thing to just quit camming and get a "normal job". It's not.

I agree.

I understand that this industry is different than most, but the idea of someone saying "oh, you're a doctor/cashier/bike mechanic/circus performer? I don't like that - quit," is absolutely ludicrous to me. If you go into a relationship expecting you can dictate someone's work, you have some seriously unrealistic and unfair expectations, and probably control issues.

Either way, it makes me happy how many camgirls are like "lol no" at the idea that they should be ashamed of their job or consider it cheating. I mean, to each their own in relationships - you gotta work out your own comfort levels and all that - but I just like seeing so many women doing things on their own terms.

 

[PunkInDrublic]

Not wanting to be with someone simply because other people get to see them naked is being insecure.

If that's the only reason I'd certainly agree. What if a dudes buddies or family finds out? It could create a insane amount of problems for a guy. It's not as simple as others getting to see your girl naked. The guy might have to abandon his family and friends for the woman now. Or he can choose a life where he lies to his friends and family. Obviously any guy who really loves a woman will be able to make these sacrifices. Still, it seems unfair to label any guy hesitant or unsure about dating a camgirl insecure or jealous. A guy having his whole life potentially changed because of the work his partner does sounds scary even if the work is in no way sex related.

With that said, I know nothing about your relationship and it could just be straight up insecurities. It just seem a lot of models pull the "men are stupid they don't get it" card when a guy reacts in any way other than thrilled about the news. "Hey I've been lying to you for the last few months and now you may have to completely abandon your life" Ok dear "How does a man decide in what order to abandon his life?"

 

[IsabellaSnow]

Not wanting to be with someone simply because other people get to see them naked is being insecure.

If that's the only reason I'd certainly agree. What if a dudes buddies or family finds out? It could create a insane amount of problems for a guy. It's not as simple as others getting to see your girl naked. The guy might have to abandon his family and friends for the woman now. Or he can choose a life where he lies to his friends and family. Obviously any guy who really loves a woman will be able to make these sacrifices. Still, it seems unfair to label any guy hesitant or unsure about dating a camgirl insecure or jealous. A guy having his whole life potentially changed because of the work his partner does sounds scary even if the work is in no way sex related.

With that said, I know nothing about your relationship and it could just be straight up insecurities. It just seem a lot of models pull the "men are stupid they don't get it" card when a guy reacts in any way other than thrilled about the news. "Hey I've been lying to you for the last few months and now you may have to completely abandon your life" Ok dear "How does a man decide in what order to abandon his life?"

There are definitely different circumstances. I do think that the only way it is unfair on a partner is having to lie about your girlfriends work (if she cams full time with nothing else). Family finding out is also a difficulty. For example my boyfriends friends do not know what I do. Everyone else in my life does, but for some reason I can't bring up the subject with them. More because I doubt they'd care about the actual job, but because I think it'd make them feel kind of awkward and they'd worry about their friend being ok with it. Anyway, it'll come up eventually, but I'm not close enough to them for it to be a big deal.
There is a risk someone might see you online. The risk is small though. Not only that unless the person was young it would be unlikely that they'd tell anyone else so chances of parents/employers finding out or spreading it around would be pretty slim. The risk is probably like under 0.001%. If it were more than that then more camgirls would be having their parents/boyfriends parents seeing them online. The chances of people finding out would be more likely if the camgirl or her boyfriend told people. And in that occasion, well, it's not really anyone's business. I know that one of my cousins is dating a stripper (although my mother won't tell me which), my grandmother was apparently very upset when she was told(no idea why my aunt told her), but essentially it doesn't change anything about the way she feels about her grandchild.

Let's face it, when a guy meets a girl and finds out she's camming he's not thinking of what his parents will think. That will come after. His initial reaction will either be "shock, horror, maybe disgust/being put off", "That's a bit weird, not sure if I'm happy about all those men looking at her" or "that's kind of cool". Most guys would probably fit into the middle section. In my experience second is the last section, not really that bothered, doesn't really care, this kind of guy will be the non jealous type, and last, I have met only a few guys who are really put off by the idea, all of the guys I've met/been friends with who are in that category have been arseholes, they've been possessive with girlfriends and they have been the kind of guys who sleep around and cheat/generally treat women like crap. Not saying the other categories would be perfect, but in my experience the kind of guy who is so put off by a camgirl it's because they have a lack of respect for women and sex. It's almost like they categorise girls into two sections "sluts you fuck but don't date" and "your girlfriend". The girlfriend must be respectful, attractive and not slutty at any point. And then the guy moans about how she's shit in bed and hates blowjobs. Yes that's a generalisation, is just my experience.
Usually the strain of lying to people comes later. It's not that much of a strain as people don't ask very often, but it's not ideal. For some people it'd become an issue, for most not. One thing I will say is although it's all very nice to say that some guys might be thinking of that, from Acf and my own experience, guys who've been having a serious problem with their girlfriend camming it has been absolutely nothing to do with what they're telling their friends and family. It's been to do with other men being able to see her naked. That is a mark of possessiveness and insecurity. These are forgivable things and they don't mean the guy is a total dweeb. Most people are insecure and possessive to a point in relationships. They're not exactly attractive flaws, but they're very normal.

 

[AllisonWilder]

Not wanting to be with someone simply because other people get to see them naked is being insecure.

If that's the only reason I'd certainly agree. What if a dudes buddies or family finds out? It could create a insane amount of problems for a guy. It's not as simple as others getting to see your girl naked. The guy might have to abandon his family and friends for the woman now. Or he can choose a life where he lies to his friends and family. Obviously any guy who really loves a woman will be able to make these sacrifices. Still, it seems unfair to label any guy hesitant or unsure about dating a camgirl insecure or jealous. A guy having his whole life potentially changed because of the work his partner does sounds scary even if the work is in no way sex related.

I have never once thought of it from this perspective but I'm glad you put it out there this way. I'll have to ask my (I don't know what to call him so boyfriend, I guess) if it ever bothers him to lie to his family because I just kind of started camming and that was that. He's comfortable with it all, even helps me run the business side of things, but we've never really talked about the sacrifices he's making in an effort to support my dreams.

 

[PunkInDrublic]

Let's face it, when a guy meets a girl and finds out she's camming he's not thinking of what his parents will think.

But for many it's the first thing they'd think. They could be completely indifferent about camming themselves but still aware of the impact it could have with family.

from Acf and my own experience, guys who've been having a serious problem with their girlfriend camming it has been absolutely nothing to do with what they're telling their friends and family. It's been to do with other men being able to see her naked.

I would suggest you and all members of this forum to stop dating such simple men. Or to stop trying to convince yourselves that any guy not cool with it is some sorta misogynist or insecure/jealous.

 

[EmilyConrad]

Let's face it, when a guy meets a girl and finds out she's camming he's not thinking of what his parents will think.

But for many it's the first thing they'd think. They could be completely indifferent about camming themselves but still aware of the impact it could have with family.

I agree with that. It's actually one of the things that worries me most. I figure most guys my age are going to be more open minded than their parents. I know I'm more open than mine and I think that's how it mostly goes with each generation. I guess if you date a guy who isn't close to his family it wouldn't be much of a concern but it's always been my dream to eventually end up with a guy who has a super close family. I always imagine the mom being like, "What have you done to my baby boy?!!!" Lol I'm sure there are parents out there who would accept it or eventually come around but it would definitely be awkward having to initially lie about it and then come clean later. If anything it'd probably be best to say you're involved in some sort of graphic design or website admin job (as many cam girls do do this as a part of camming) and then later reveal the entire nature of your work. At least then it wouldn't be a total lie.. just not the whole truth either.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

I would suggest you and all members of this forum to stop dating such simple men. quote]

Ah, if only that were an easy thing... Unfortunately a large percentage of men are fairly simple creatures. I don't mean stupid by that, or it as a bad thing, I mean they work on much simpler levels than a lot of people. It's all very easy to say "well everyone should go out with clever, understanding, attractive, nice, kind people" But the unfortunate fact is most people are none of those things.

If a girl is attracted to men then however strong or intelligent a woman she is chances are she will come across and even fall for dicks. Or at least she'll encounter a man who is a dick to her. It's easy to say to avoid these people, but it's not that easy. Unfortunately these things aren't stamped on people when you first meet.

I haven't said at any point that if you're not cool with your girlfriend camming it means you're a dick. I just said there are certain guys who form really strong judgements against women who do it, and that those men who aren't completely comfortable with it, as in enough to cause an issue with dating a camgirl will be more possessive than guys who are cool with it. As much as I'll agree that many guys will think at some point about what he'd tell his family about that sort of job, I still don't think it'd be the first thoughts when meeting a girl who tells you she's also a camgirl. First of you'll think of whether you're comfortable with that, maybe be curious about the job etc. And then would come the thought of what she tells people, and what you would tell people. If anyone's first thoughts about anything a girl they're dating tells them is "what would my parents think?!" it's not exactly healthy. You should live your own life, not your parents. And it is cool to not want your girlfriend to cam, if so you choose girls who don't cam. Just like it's cool for people to have certain types. It's up to the person.
What's not cool is someone telling the world that no guy should be or is ok with their girlfriend camming. We seemed to all agree on that though
To be honest it sounds like most of us are of a similar mind on this.

 

[HiGirlsRHot]

Before condemning guys who aren't ok with their girlfriend camming. I think it is important to understand the typical guys exposure and perception of what cam girls do. While I suspect that the vast majority of guys under 30 have been to a camsite. We know from MFC that most don't pay, so there actual interaction with a camgirl is probably limited, and most don't really know what goes on in privates, gold show etc..

I'm guessing that a lot of guys first get to a cam site cause the see a banner ad, of a hot girl (aka a camgirl) and the ad promises a way of meeting hot horny girls in your area who want to fuck. When you click on the banner you see Streamates or LiveJasmin, and you are promised more intimate contact if you only produce your credit card. Hell when you sign up for Streamate they enroll you in a dating site unless you opt out.
So if that is the only exposure the BF has had to cam girls, I think it is perfectly reasonable for him to assume that part of being a camgirl involves meeting men. To be fair there are plenty of ads, even on ACF, which talk about date raffles, convention, like AVN or exotica where you can meet camgirls in the flesh.

But lets say the new BF has spent sometime on camgirl site. It is a bad night for camgirl when she gets less than a dozen date offers, and one marriage proposal . This all seems par for the course for you girls and you don't treat any of the offers seriously. But we do know that camgirls do meet and date and even marry customers on a rare occasion. So it seems perfectly understandable most guys would feel threaten having their girlfriend in that environment.

Earlier in the thread Izzy made a strong case that camgirls are less likely to cheat than a girl in regular 9-5 jobs. I think she is probably right, although I doubt there is anyway to prove it. But statistically the professions with highest divorce rates are dancer (including strippers and go-go dancers) and bartenders. The theory being that these occupations attract extroverts and work in atmosphere which is highly sexual with lots of booze, and plenty of opportunities to meet the opposite sex. While the occupations with lowest rate, engineers, are male dominated, and have the least opportunity to meet members of the opposite sex at work. Although there is seldom physical contact between a camgirl, and a customer. It seems to me that camgirls and strippers have a lot in common.

I also add that camgirls range from pretty to stunning. When an average guy dates a hot girl, he is always aware that there is a line of guys wanted to take his place. The line of men looking to replace you is only going to get longer, if your GF flirts and then gets naked, and masturbates on cam.

Nor is this unease something that just men have. A female stripper friend of mine for several years dated a male strippers. She told me that the pros of dating a fellow stripper outweighed the cons, but she wasn't totally comfortable with women propositioning her man while he was naked.

This isn't to say plenty of guys aren't irrationally jealous and control freaks. But it seems that being uncomfortable finding out my new girlfriend is or my girlfriend started camming is a perfectly natural response. It seems to me that realistically the burden should be on the camgirl to address her boyfriends fears and concerns.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

While I suspect that the vast majority of guys under 30 have been to a camsite.

I know about 2 guys in my real life who've ever gone to a camsite. The rest had no idea what they were. Yes everyone gets live jasmine pop ups. The girls usually look really bored and most young guys are so trained into avoiding pop ups and viruses that it doesn't work with them. It is also less likely that young males are going to crave that kind of company and attention which is what most seek from camsites. I think every male I know does watch porn on a relatively regular basis.
I for example have watched plenty of porn. I have never once been on a camsite before I decided to work on one. I found mfc, I signed up. I had absolutely no idea there were camsites like mfc. Most guys don't.
I think it is very unlikely that the vast majority of guys under 30 have been to a camsite. Just like it's unlikely that the vast majority of guys any other age have. As much as it's hard to believe it on mfc sometimes, most people have very little idea what a camsite is. They've obviously heard of this stuff, and many people have seen babestation on tv. But besides that you actually have to actively look for sites. Most people ignore pop up advertising and never actively seek this stuff.

The average man watches porn when they're horny. It's a quick search, wank and close the window situation. They do not know about porn conventions or much about the actual community. It's a means to an end. If it weren't then Mfc would be over run by almost every man on the planet.

Although there is seldom physical contact between a camgirl, and a customer. It seems to me that camgirls and strippers have a lot in common.

In the example you were using yes there are many similarities between camgirls and strippers, but in this case, as in being in close contact with a high sexual atmosphere, camgirls don't really get that at all. I can say I've never felt that. It's possibly one of the least personal things ever. I feel more intimate with my doctor examining me (another totally non sexual situation involving my vagina). The whole point with the bartenders and dancers is physical contact. Without the physical contact, even not contact, but being able to look at each other in real life, eyes meeting etc, there's nothing to go by. The only time, which is very very rare that camgirls ever get involved in situations is because they happen to meet someone alright, get curious and turn on his cam, start getting interested and take it to the next level. Either that or a date raffle is won. In date raffles it's highly unlikely that the camgirl is going to be attracted to the winner, and if you're in a committed, happy relationship you'll never get interested enough in your members that way to get that far.

I'll also point out that yes, camgirls are usually more attractive than the average person. So yes, men who go to camsites are going to think how stunning these girls are. Chances are the guys camgirls are dating are going to be in a similar league. There are lots of very good looking girls around, with make up, clothes etc even less naturally good looking girls can make themselves hot, most guys I know aren't that bothered with hot girls. Obviously they like them, but they're used to them. A 40 year old average looking male will think I look like a goddess, and will dote on me like it. A 20 year old average looking male will see me as "just Izzie, hot in a group of other hot girls".
I do not have a group of guys lined up, and neither does any other hot girl I know. It is more likely that the guy will have girls lining up.

 

[Tristyn]

Okay, I apologize in advanced if I'm repeating anything that's already been said, but I definitely want to chime in here.

While I agree that honesty would be the best policy in a perfect, safe world, I also completely understand why many sex workers (cam girls, or otherwise) would not necessarily feel comfortable disclosing what kind of work they do to strangers who could potentially use that information to make their lives miserable (either by unleashing the gossip monster, or by trying to out them to their friends, families, or fanbase). This is not 'camgirl paranoia' -- it is reality. I've had douche-bags wander into my room and out me (by name, city, etc) on more than one occasion, and I've actually been outed in a local tabloid magazine for being a kinky freak (though not for sex work specifically), so I KNOW first hand that this kind of shit happens. And THAT is probably the main reason why most girls hesitate about telling potential partners (and friends) -- NOT because they're ashamed or particularly want to lie.

Look, I'm not ashamed of anything that I do. I LOVE what I do. That doesn't mean that I want to deal with douche-bags, creeps, ignorance or shitty reactions on a regular basis either, nor should I have to. Most people in my life know what I do because I've chosen to tell them, but no one is ENTITLED to know. Frankly it's just none of their business. Would I tell my partner(s)? Absolutely. But they are not my partner just because we've gone out on a few dates. I initially tell people that I sell alternative/fetish photo-sets (of myself, and of others), as I generally prefer to avoid lying, and if our relationship progresses to the point where I feel comfortable telling them more about what that entails, I do.

I will say this and no more - take it from me as a guy: If he doesn't care what you do on cam, he probably doesn't care too much in general.

I know I'm probably hitting a nerve, but I'm not trying to. I'm just being honest. And I do think the average person considers monogamy to be essential to a serious relationship. But the word "dating" is a pretty loose term.

I do not go anywhere near cam girls who are married, because to me it's wrong.

You are entitled to choose your own boundaries and comfort level, but your comfort level does not dictate how anyone else conducts themselves, their relationships, or their lives. Some men wouldn't be comfortable with dating someone who is a camgirl, and for some men it's just not a problem.

We're not all monogamous, and we don't all feel the need to possess or own our partner's sexuality. I've been in a polyamorous relationship with my boyfriend for five and a half years. We live together, and we're as committed to one another as any monogamous couple I know. But as long as he's safe, honest and happy, I don't have a problem with who he sleeps with. And he doesn't have a problem with what I do as a cam-girl, or with who I choose to sleep with. Does that mean that he doesn't care, or that I don't care? Of course not! We both care a great deal about one another, and as such we have negotiated boundaries and limits that work for us (and our relationship).

If you're being open, honest and respectful of whatever boundaries you and your partner(s) have agreed upon within your relationship(s), then you're not cheating on those partner(s) no matter how many other people you sleep with. Cheating is not about who is sleeping with who-- it's about crossing boundaries that you've agreed not to cross. If those boundaries happen to be "you can't sleep with other people", then YES, having sex with someone else would be cheating. But if those boundaries are "you can sleep with who you like, as long as you tell me about it", then it would ONLY be cheating if that partner failed to communicate about the encounter as agreed upon. This philosophy can also be applied to anything that a cam-girl might do.

Personally, I would not change what I do for a partner, or a potential partner. If people choose not to date me because I didn't want to give them graphic details about what I do from day one, or because they just don't think that they could handle it, that's absolutely fine. They don't have to date me, and we probably wouldn't have been a good fit anyway.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

This hadn't actually occurred to me before... but... I am interested to find out how old Joe is.

One thing I consistently see on tv etc with people a completely different age group to me is women finding porn stashed and being angry at their boyfriends/husbands for it. This is not something that would bother me or any one I know. I mean yes we would ideally not like it thrown in our faces, but the assumption in my age group is that men watch porn. It's going to happen whether you allow it or not. Masturbation is natural and healthy and fact is for men they are not generally as good at imagining sex scenarios, they generally need visual aids. For women it's usually all imagination and occasionally visual aids. This means for a man to have a totally healthy body and mind he pretty much needs some form of porn.

I am curious, although quite a few people implied Joe might be younger and more immature, I wonder if he's actually older, or was just brought up in a more old fashioned way. In modern day society being a camgirl just isn't that shocking. Many people my age do frown on it or wouldn't want their girlfriend doing it, but it's just not such a big deal as it might be for someone of a completely different generation. Seeing as my mother finds porn offensive and I seriously doubt her boyfriend ever watches it, same with my father, that's not me being delusional (I'm a camgirl, I have no misconceptions about men), they're just not the types. I would imagine if my mother found that kind of thing around she would be seriously upset. Whilst I am kind of disturbed that my boyfriend doesn't have that kind of thing. I mean even I own several dvds which I bought before camming!

 

[Tristyn]

My boyfriend's 42 and what I do isn't a problem for him, but he and I don't have a traditional relationship to begin with, so he might not be a good example of the 'average' 40-some-year-old.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

My boyfriend's 42 and what I do isn't a problem for him, but he and I don't have a traditional relationship to begin with, so he might not be a good example of the 'average' 40-some-year-old.

I would imagine any of the guys who can have a happy relationship with a camgirl won't fit into what I was saying regardless of their age. Also seeing as most camgirls are somewhere between the ages of 18 and 30/early 30s chances are they'll be dating people close to their own ages, and the boyfriends and husbands who are older might not fit into the category of average either. The average person tends to stick to dating their own age group give or take a few years. To have a serious relationship you need to share values etc, meaning in a larger age gap relationship either one person is older at heart or one person is younger.

I think it also depends on how you were raised and the area you grew up in. Funnily enough, in my experience I've found that guys of my age group who watch a lot of porn and confidently go to prostitutes (as in not just a one off) etc are less comfortable with the idea of dating a camgirl. I have also noticed that out of people I know, these guys are not only the ones who have cheated on their girlfriends, but have been a lot more possessive. Essentially we judge people on our own actions, so everyone I've known who cheats/has cheated are usually a lot more jealous and possessive than non cheaters (unless the non cheater has been cheated on). In fact all the guys I know who don't cheat/like to fuck around have always been the most accepting of what I do for a living.

 

[Sevrin]

Essentially we judge people on our own actions, so everyone I've known who cheats/has cheated are usually a lot more jealous and possessive than non cheaters (unless the non cheater has been cheated on) In fact all the guys I know who don't cheat/like to fuck around have always been the most accepting of what I do for a living.

That hold *generally* for most aspects of life. Dishonest people are also most likely to be worried about people stealing from them. A lot of anti-gay activists, preachers and homophobes in general turn out to be serious closet cases themselves. People who are comfortable with who they are tend to be more likely to respect the choices other people make too.

Couldn't resist sharing this because.

http://www.ranker.com/list/top-10-anti- ... gay/joanne

 

[JoleneBrody]

While I'm obviously on the side of the "camgirls need love too" coalition I feel the need to point out one thing...

Insecurity. This word is being defended against/used as if it's some insult and it really shouldn't be, it's just a personality trait that we ALL have in varying degrees.
Is insecurity the primary culprit when a significant other isn't OK with sex work? YES! Is it a bad thing?... mostly, nope! We all have our different comfort levels based on how secure we are. Even fear of lying to parents is a form of insecurity, it's not an insult... it's just reality and there is no reason to be defensive of that word. Being defensive is really just being insecure about being called insecure...

Anywho, I have a lot of insecurities! If I met someone who was really into things I was insecure about (Roller coaster, Sky diving, bungee jumping), it wouldn't work! Does it suck that some people aren't secure with dating a sex worker? Sure, but that's life! Not everyone will be into everything and that's cool too!
I would NEVER be with someone who expected me to change who I am for them nor would I expect anyone to change for me. We both deserve someone who fits our personalities better so why waste any moments of your precious life on someone who doesn't elevate you?

 

[BellaBrookz]

Every woman I've ever dated would have considered me getting 1-on-1 one private shows from cam girls to be cheating. It's not "insecurity", it's about where you draw the line.

I can see that... and the difference is as clear as water: In that situation you would be a customer paying for some sort of sexual gratification from another girl.. And it's understandable that many women would feel cheated or uncomfortable by this..
However, the model is just working.
You can't compare these two situations

 

[MissKittySpice]

Hehehe... I'm sure camgirls are just lining up to date this douche "schmo"

And yes, I am entering the dating world again for the first time as a single camgirl (my now ex-boyfriend is the one that got me into it). I don't get out much so haven't met any new people in real life who I can share work details with but... I think that when it comes to camming, it's always wise to play it by ear, not immediately tell every person I date. That is ultimately giving these people power to screw me over by knowing my personal information which is scary! But I'm a pretty good judge of character and hope whoever I do find worthy of the truth is someone who is open minded... Although I have been wanting to just go out and be completely open about it, there's always a risk that some people will use my personal life as a weapon against me... Oh well, all in a days work! And again, my fear is not what they will think of me, I could care less, unless they're gonna pay my bills... I worry of the personal info safety part. :twocents-02cents: