What to do when a model (who's a friend) PM's you

[acep]

I've had a couple instances recently where a model pm'd me when I was in another model's room. I don't mean the models who hang out in a room and pm members, I mean a model who I recently tipped and she decided to add me to her friends list. It's always been something simple like a "hey", but there's the subtext of "I know you're online and now that you saw this pm you know I'm online". How should you respond to that? I feel like even a response like "hey how are you" without going in the room is still basically saying "yes I see you online but I'm hanging out with someone else over you".

Also I realize the easy answer is "this is why I don't pm my members", but I'm not the one who controls that. So...what if/when it does happen, should you do?

 

[mynameisbob84]

A simple "hi" back is probably polite but outside of that, it's really up to you how much you want to converse with them in PM. They must know that you're in another girl's room, so aren't likely to be offended if you only get back to them sparingly in the PM window. If they try to divert your attention too much or try to draw you in to their room, then a simple "sorry, in another model's room right now but I'll come see you soon!" is maybe the best reply. If they still push or become possessive, then they're probably not the type of model you want to be spending time with online anyway.

 

[CrazyCatLady]

As a model I would prefer "Hey how are you? Visiting another friend but I may stop by later! I hope your night is awesome!".

I only PM regulars for the most part when I first log on to let them know I'm online and I leave it at that!

I have many friends online...so I know members do as well!

 

[Nordling]

Yes, CatLady's answer is good. Just be polite, greet them, and hope that you telling them openly what you're doing will stop long-winded conversation.

 

[Ambers Troll]

Think of it as an invitation, not a reprimand. Say hello back but spend time with the model you want to spend time with. Don't feel guilty for making your choice of room. Think of it this way, the next time you want to visit the model who messages you, she will know you are genuine in selecting her and only her.

I feel like even a response like "hey how are you" without going in the room is still basically saying "yes I see you online but I'm hanging out with someone else over you".

This is what you will be suggesting whether you say hello back or not. Sometimes a model will take it as a personal rejection when you are in another's room, especially when her mood is down.

Messages are not like phone calls, you can take your time to respond. You can take a break from the current room, look at the messaging model's menu, take a peek from the lounge, gauge her mood, see if you want to visit now/later, then decide on your response if you want to.

When this happens to me I will either do a quick catch up with the model, or say I'll talk later and keep my word. If it happens while in private I let the PM flash (like you are not at the computer) and delay responding until I am ready to talk to other models again.

 

[jazzgeoff]

I had this one happen the other day (I'm only a new member), i kinda felt like i got caught with my hand in the cookie jar. Unjustified i know... but i felt a bit guilty, so I sent a tip and had a bit of a PM conversation without leaving the room i was in. An hour later i had spent all of my tokens on the first model, so i didn't want to turn up in the 2nd models room empty handed. Ended up logging off without stopping in to visit her. Probably didn't play the situation very well at all, but I'm sure i was overthinking it anyway. I'm only a new member so I'm still working out correct ettiquette.

 

[BooyaaS]

"Hi, i'm busy at the moment" or just ignore the message

 

[Guinevere_]

If you think she is someone you would want to visit again in the future, at least say hi. No answer would be rude in my opinion, just like in real life it is. You don't have to leave where you are or tip her, but I agree with the posts that say acknowledge, be honest. Like AmbersTroll said, next time you do go in her room, she'll know you want to be there. I know members watch other models besides me. Try not to let it make you feel guilty. The times I have pm'd, the motivation was to say hello, not to be like GET IN HERE. But mostly I don't pm, because I'm afraid members will think that.

 

[CrazyCatLady]

I had this one happen the other day (I'm only a new member), i kinda felt like i got caught with my hand in the cookie jar. Unjustified i know... but i felt a bit guilty, so I sent a tip and had a bit of a PM conversation without leaving the room i was in. An hour later i had spent all of my tokens on the first model, so i didn't want to turn up in the 2nd models room empty handed. Ended up logging off without stopping in to visit her. Probably didn't play the situation very well at all, but I'm sure i was overthinking it anyway. I'm only a new member so I'm still working out correct ettiquette.

I think you went above and beyond tipping ans PMing while you weren't even in the room. You were more than generous

 

[SNATCH]

Not gonna lie, I am totally guilty of doing this, but it's mostly because I'm social, && just feel like it;s nice to toss some banter in && because I actually want to know how people are, etc or what might be going on with them. Light chit chat is okay but if you;re busy, that's okay just let me know. Or say that you're hanging out with a friend, then I know to shut the fuck up so you can concentrate your attention, lol.

 

[HiGirlsRHot]

I'm happy when models, I know, PM be. It is nice to be recognized and I think it is generally good business. I use to remain logged into MFC even when I wasn't in a room or paying attention, so there was a decent chance I wasn't logged in and knowing a favorite model was online would entice me to stop surfing the web and visit her room. Now, I imagine most of the time the members is in another models room. I always say hi back, and if there is a good chance I'll stop by the room I'll tell them, "I'll try and stop by after the show is done."

I also sometimes open a new tab go the model room and semi-lurk, to avoid hurt feelings. If it is a model, I'm no longer interested I'll keep the conversation short, eventually they get the hint.

 

[annamaytiddies]

Whatever you do, don't say 'I don't have any tokens right now' when a model says hi. Once I wasn't even on webcam, and I genuinely wanted conversation and they threw that in my face. Some models genuinely want to talk to you.

 

[Roger]

I've had a couple instances recently where a model pm'd me when I was in another model's room. I don't mean the models who hang out in a room and pm members, I mean a model who I recently tipped and she decided to add me to her friends list. It's always been something simple like a "hey", but there's the subtext of "I know you're online and now that you saw this pm you know I'm online". How should you respond to that? I feel like even a response like "hey how are you" without going in the room is still basically saying "yes I see you online but I'm hanging out with someone else over you".

Also I realize the easy answer is "this is why I don't pm my members", but I'm not the one who controls that. So...what if/when it does happen, should you do?

This is something I struggled with (sometimes I still do). Whether the pressure is real or in my head, I feel this obligation to visit the model pm'ing me and/or to tip her (for model's I've enjoyed spending time with before). More recently, I have just been responding politely and having a normal conversation. As long as the conversation stays casual and friendly I am good. I think sometimes a model may just want to keep the lines of communication open / remind you that she still thinks of you / or is just genuinely interested in chatting with you.

There are times though when a model would say "come visit me or some variation" that appears to be an obvious "I want your tokens" or "my room is dead and come save me" request. If I am not in the mood to visit her, I respond with a "sorry, maybe next time" or "not tonight" (if I do have the intention of visiting her again). It's obvious that I am in another room, but I think it is less awkward than actually telling them you are in another room. In my opinion, if the model truly respects your time / appreciates you as a member, she is not going to intentionally demand your time, attention and/or tokens (unless your into the findom thing).

There may be a time when I model calls you out. I recall another instance when a model called me out on visiting other models. I explained to her that I come to MFC to have a good time and part of me having a good time is having no commitments. I come and go as I please (no pun intended). I let her know that if she can not accept that, then maybe we should go our separate ways. We seem to be good now.

There is one case where I have developed a rapport with a model where I pretty much think of her as a friend and would not even consider a PM from her as having an ulterior motive other than just to say "hi."

At the end of the day, I am a big fan of open communication. MFC really is like real life. You are dealing with human beings and humans are sometimes complicated. Open communication helps to set expectations that otherwise may not be known or may be unclear. Golden rule: treat others like how you would like to be treated (except if your a S&M guy, might want to clear that with the person before you jump right into the S&M play).

 

[LoonaVision]

I try to "teach" my guys to be polite
And I think I made a great progress so far.
Everytime I go online and they see me online, they pm me something like "hey, how are you" or send me some hug or heart emote. I really appreciate it
And I do the same when I go online, I try to pm them all not to make them join my room but just to be polite, just because this is what friends do

 

[CherryChu]

I personally am not great at PMs so I never message first, but I think if I did and the member was elsewhere and not wanting to come to my room at that point, I'd rather they just not reply to the message. Given that MFC doesn't have a 'seen/opened' feature for PMs (and I hope they never do) I can continue in blissful ignorance of whether you were purposefully ignoring me or just not at your computer at that point or something. I often leave my browser tabs open after I'm done with them so I've occasionally come back to MFC to see that I had a message I didn't see earlier - if I were to message someone and not get a response, I'd keep myself happy assuming that was what happened.

Having said that, an acknowledgement at some point would be nice... whether it's in a PM back, MFC mail, chat, Snapchat, whatever, some sort of 'hey! Sorry I didn't reply earlier, I was busy/left my browser open/etc' will let me know that the message didn't go unnoticed in the end. I also feel like for me personally, this is the point where it'd be okay to say you were in another model's room - I don't expect any members to only visit me and I kind of like the idea of 'sharing' regulars haha, but like AmbersTroll said if I happen to be in a bad mood at that point and maybe I'm trying to see if any regulars are still interested, then immediately replying to my message with 'hey sorry I'm in xx's room right now' is a nice big splash of salt for my wounded self-esteem. On the other hand, say I sent that message at one point and you didn't reply, but then later I'm in chat and you come by and say 'hey sorry I didn't see your message earlier because I was in xx's room' it's the perfect opportunity to immediately kind of make up for it by chatting/tipping/etc. That way you haven't had to pretend that I'm the only model whose room you visit but we've all still had the interaction. Maybe that's just me but it's one way of looking at it

 

[acep]

Thanks for all your responses. I do like Cherry's idea of responding later. This instance sort of solved itself, the first couple times I went to hang out in her room, but the last time I had a short conversation without leaving the room I was in, and she's hasn't PM'd me one time since.

 

[Gabby]

Hi loona. I am a model too .new . But I was banned from cb in last week.I make a new account and they banned me again .said I violate the term from service .I ask a user for email to send him some photos. So I wake up banned .lol .can u know if at u was happend this or how to rezolve.? Do u have a number phone from cb and they respond.?pls answer me .I will wait .thk very much

 

[MFCuser]

I agree its generally good to just be polite and truthful, though unless I am close with a model i dont really like it when they PM me when i am not in their room. I dont like it when I get PMs from models who I was never all that close with, even if I have tipped them a fair bit, being like "you should come around I miss you!"

 

[oxoxvictoriarose]

i usually dont message others first, but i guess i never really thought about it. i have some regulars that will message me when im online and we chat. just do your thing! no one is going to 100% agree with you on everything

 

[Moffle]

Multiple accounts is the way forward, one per model. Oh and not accepting PMs from anyone not on your friends list.

 

[Miss_Lollipop]

I message members first (usually when I'm not actually online) and usually its just generally to catch up with you. I can't speak for other models. If you're busy in another models room, just tell me you're busy. You don't need to mention busy doing what. I won't ask. Its cool. And personally, if I've messaged you first and you continue to chat to me and we catch up and you don't visit .. I won't be mad. Like, there's no obligation. If I'm messaging you we are already friends and I want to catch up, or I'm genuinely curious about getting to know a bit more about you - even if it doesn't result in an immediate tip LOL.

(there are friends I have a level of companionship with that I know i can be like BB COME TALK TO ME MY ROOM IS DEAD BB and they will come if they can and if they can't they'll be like "I can't im busy" and we'll keep being friends and its no big deal....... except i hate them forever.)

 

[Relkinet]

Is there a polite way to tell a model that you're not interested if she keeps messaging you when she logs on despite being turned down several days in a row?

 

[MFCuser]

Is there a polite way to tell a model that you're not interested if she keeps messaging you when she logs on despite being turned down several days in a row?

just ignore her, or remove her from your friends list and set PM to friends only

 

[Relkinet]

just ignore her, or remove her from your friends list and set PM to friends only

Well, it was a model in whose room I used to be a regular, so ignoring her seemed like it would be a rude thing to do. That said, I tried telling her that I wasn't interested in following her anymore and I think it upset her, so ignoring her might have been the better option.

 

[MFCuser]

Well, it was a model in whose room I used to be a regular, so ignoring her seemed like it would be a rude thing to do. That said, I tried telling her that I wasn't interested in following her anymore and I think it upset her, so ignoring her might have been the better option.

If you're not planning on going back anymore ignoring is often the best thing. I asked a kind of similar question a while ago that got a lot of responses that might be helpful https://www.ambercutie.com/forums/threads/leaving-an-mfc-models-room.21211/#post-634458

 

[Relkinet]

If you're not planning on going back anymore ignoring is often the best thing. I asked a kind of similar question a while ago that got a lot of responses that might be helpful https://www.ambercutie.com/forums/threads/leaving-an-mfc-models-room.21211/#post-634458

Thanks!

 

[Albert_1]

I'm fine with my model friends PMing me as I don't hang out with the possessive types and I like talking to them. I usually talk with them for a bit, unless I'm really busy (wink, wink) or afk/fell asleep with my browser open. The hardest part for me is thinking of things to talk about as I'm terribly boring. If its someone I barely know then I try to be nice but I'm lost to find things to say.

 

[Miss_Lollipop]

Well, it was a model in whose room I used to be a regular, so ignoring her seemed like it would be a rude thing to do. That said, I tried telling her that I wasn't interested in following her anymore and I think it upset her, so ignoring her might have been the better option.

How about simply "Hey I'm not really big on pming .. i prefer to interact if i happen to be in your room. Thank you for messaging me though." and then just dont respond after that. You said you'd turned her down previously but it depends on how you did that .. "not today" could mean "try tomorrow". If you say, "I don't do pms sorry" .. its crystal clear. And if she pushes that boundry, well .. I don't let people that push my boundries continue to have access to me, and you probly shouldn't either.


And then, if you're not interested in being in her room well... it wont be an issue since you won't go in there.

 

[ComicOzzie]

Well, it was a model in whose room I used to be a regular, so ignoring her seemed like it would be a rude thing to do. That said, I tried telling her that I wasn't interested in following her anymore and I think it upset her, so ignoring her might have been the better option.

You are already ignoring her, dude. Make it official.

 

[Mikey_P]

Unfriend and hit the ignore tab.