Firstly I hope this post is in the right spot, and I'd like to get your opinions/feedback on the matter.
I never really used camsites until a few months ago, out of boredom. I would just tip models here and there and was never really a "regular" in any room. In the back of my mind I figured it was something that I should probably stop doing, because over time I did spend a significant amount of money.
About 2 months ago I entered a chat room. The girl wasn't super popular on the particular site that I was using but I thought she was beautiful. Anyways I took her into a private and she asked me to turn on my cam. I wasn't interested in masturbating in front of a girl online but I did let her see me. She complement my looks excessively. I'm not a dumb person so I assumed that models do this with every member, but she did have my attention. That was the last time that I bought any tokens, ever, but I continued to visit her room daily and chat with her. She always asked me to turn on my camera and we talked. To put this in perspective, I spent multiple hours every day in her room. She always seemed happy to see me and always insisted that I turn on my camera. After about a week of this, she gave me her Skype. Long story short it's been 2 months now and the messages are in the thousands; we both have Skype on our phones. In addition we have video chatted over Skype on a pretty regular basis and on top of that I still spend time in her room when she is camming. I'm not sure if it's possible to fall in love with someone online, and if someone said this a few months ago I would have laughed at them, but that's the situation I find myself in.
We have talked extensively about meeting in real life and I have no doubt in my mind that we would both be willing to do it. The problem is I live in the USA, she lives 5,000 miles away. People from her country can't even get a tourist visa in the USA. I'm working on a doctorate degree and will not have 2 consecutive free days within literally the next 2 years. Even if I could travel, what in the hell would I tell my family. And even if I did meet her, and things went great, what then?
I'm probably sounding crazy at this point but realistically it's just not possible. It literally makes me feel sick to my stomach just thinking bout this but it's been on my mind every single day. I've never met a girl like this and it's all for nothing.
I've thought about saying a final goodbye and cutting her off completely, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. My last 2 days were busy so we haven't really talked, but I I joined her chatroom tonight and spent a few hours with her. I think we both kind of realized that reality of the situation and long story short she starting crying her eyes out on camera. She then shut it off and left.
I really don't know what to do. Not only did I make this girl cry, but I feel equally depressed about this whole situation if not even worse. I'll just be honest and say I'm am deeply involved emotionally with this girl. Before you judge keep in mind I haven't just been a name in her room but we have talked on Skype for countless hours when she is not on cam. I haven't tipped her since the day I met her. It is undoubtedly genuine on both ends.
I just don't know what to do. It's impossible to meet her but I don't think I can let go either.
I never really used camsites until a few months ago, out of boredom. I would just tip models here and there and was never really a "regular" in any room. In the back of my mind I figured it was something that I should probably stop doing, because over time I did spend a significant amount of money.
About 2 months ago I entered a chat room. The girl wasn't super popular on the particular site that I was using but I thought she was beautiful. Anyways I took her into a private and she asked me to turn on my cam. I wasn't interested in masturbating in front of a girl online but I did let her see me. She complement my looks excessively. I'm not a dumb person so I assumed that models do this with every member, but she did have my attention. That was the last time that I bought any tokens, ever, but I continued to visit her room daily and chat with her. She always asked me to turn on my camera and we talked. To put this in perspective, I spent multiple hours every day in her room. She always seemed happy to see me and always insisted that I turn on my camera. After about a week of this, she gave me her Skype. Long story short it's been 2 months now and the messages are in the thousands; we both have Skype on our phones. In addition we have video chatted over Skype on a pretty regular basis and on top of that I still spend time in her room when she is camming. I'm not sure if it's possible to fall in love with someone online, and if someone said this a few months ago I would have laughed at them, but that's the situation I find myself in.
We have talked extensively about meeting in real life and I have no doubt in my mind that we would both be willing to do it. The problem is I live in the USA, she lives 5,000 miles away. People from her country can't even get a tourist visa in the USA. I'm working on a doctorate degree and will not have 2 consecutive free days within literally the next 2 years. Even if I could travel, what in the hell would I tell my family. And even if I did meet her, and things went great, what then?
I'm probably sounding crazy at this point but realistically it's just not possible. It literally makes me feel sick to my stomach just thinking bout this but it's been on my mind every single day. I've never met a girl like this and it's all for nothing.
I've thought about saying a final goodbye and cutting her off completely, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. My last 2 days were busy so we haven't really talked, but I I joined her chatroom tonight and spent a few hours with her. I think we both kind of realized that reality of the situation and long story short she starting crying her eyes out on camera. She then shut it off and left.
I really don't know what to do. Not only did I make this girl cry, but I feel equally depressed about this whole situation if not even worse. I'll just be honest and say I'm am deeply involved emotionally with this girl. Before you judge keep in mind I haven't just been a name in her room but we have talked on Skype for countless hours when she is not on cam. I haven't tipped her since the day I met her. It is undoubtedly genuine on both ends.
I just don't know what to do. It's impossible to meet her but I don't think I can let go either.