A model seeking love and a future with a client? Or a manipulative romance scammer? One year anniversary! Ideas and impressions sought, please.

[mira_leo]

Ellipses are good (I use them too). It’s the people who end non-questions with a ? that drive me nuts.

tell me you're old without telling me you're old?

 

[Smoothie]

tell me you're old without telling me you're old?

Well, I also have the grammar preferences of a person much older. I’m a lot of fun at parties, I promise.

Don’t get me started on sentences that don’t start with a capital letter.

 

[misterical]

Yes, that and the grammar structure of the sentences reflect the abilities of someone who's either native or has formally studied English for many years. Terms like "indeed it was", "losing my grip", "quite real". And grammar like "have become", "we've gone too far".

As a native, it might be hard to realise because it's very natural that that's how the language is supposed to be written, but for a foreigner, those are the kind of things that take years, if not decades, of some serious dedication.

I totally agree. I regularly confuse the Latina model I speak to by using phrases that only a native speaker would use. It's very telling some of the phrases that she uses.

 

[AmberCutie]

tell me you're old without telling me you're old?

Don’t get me started on sentences that don’t start with a capital letter.

Uh oh!

 

[GeorgeSpelvin]

Yes, that and the grammar structure of the sentences reflect the abilities of someone who's either native or has formally studied English for many years. Terms like "indeed it was", "losing my grip", "quite real". And grammar like "have become", "we've gone too far".

As a native, it might be hard to realise because it's very natural that that's how the language is supposed to be written, but for a foreigner, those are the kind of things that take years, if not decades, of some serious dedication.

She is definitely a she, and probably 80% of our interactions were on video where such things are being written in chat. Sometimes in studio, sometimes not. There have been some long messages sent to me when we were not online, of course, so for those, she could have spent more time writing them.

I know she did complete some college in her city, including taking a couple of courses in English, and she said she had a tutor for English for a while (I don't know how long). She's been working in cam modeling for almost 4 years, so maybe between all of those things, she has learned some nuances of English?

I agree that she does use some English expressions that are advanced (and she'll even use some slang, too). Some of it could be that Google translate (or whatever is being) used has gotten better. But I was wondering what you were suggesting. Are you saying that someone is coaching or reviewing what she writes, like a studio boss who speaks English at a high level? Seems possible for long messages she sent offline, but not sure about in our live chats.

 

[misterical]

Are you saying that someone is coaching or reviewing what she writes, like a studio boss who speaks English at a high level? Seems possible for long messages she sent offline, but not sure about in our live chats.

I think you need to consider that as a possibility. They're trying to screw as much money out of you as possible because presumably they are getting a cut as well.

 

[MarieElise]

My thinking is that they are really female sociopaths and it takes one to know one. They're not a complete mystery because we are able to recognise their behaviour patterns and MO, but I think that true sociopaths are less than human and that's why trying to fully understand them is difficult.

Exactly , normal people will never be able to understand, relate or make sense of it. The brain of a sociopath is different and lacking some stuff we all have (in the orbitofrontal cortex if I remember correctly. Mirror neurons or something, those are what give us empathy, cause us to cry at sad movies etc). Something like that. It’s been a while since school. And I’m not up on the most current research on the topic. But I’d like to be…

 

[MarieElise]

We've not interacted there. We have interacted on LiveJasmin, Chaturbate, Stripchat, and SecretFriends. CB was the main one at first; that's where this began. But overall, it's been 80% Stripchat when we were actually talking on a site. And there were references to things on Stripchat (and LiveJasmin) in our messaging there...we were careful mostly, but sometimes I was surprised at how bold she was. For example, talking about setting up a crypto account and other such things in private chats there. Plus, all the romantic talk and discussions about visits and our future life.... ....a lot of that was all in extensive messages, especially on Stripchat and Chaturbate. Of course once we were talking on a personal Skype account, we didn't do as much on the sites. Though I would visit sometimes for fun.

I don't think I mentioned...and I'm not sure if it's relevant: This model was a "regular" cam model for the first two years...then she went through a process to try to purge the internet of various pirated videos of her. Last couple of years, she's a "nonnude" model. Does not undress at all. Her whole thing is chat...some sexy chat, a little dancing...clothed...but not a lot. Mostly what she does, from what I can tell, is try to hook guys in to talking...she's good at it, I think. That's really how this started with me...it was just talking about life. She's smart and (I now think) really manipulative...to the point of a skill. So anyway, I don't know anything about it, but I would think being a nonnude model has limitations. Maybe this is just what she does....it's not so much performing as trying to form relationships with a lot of talking...and then finding "targets" who will believe she's sincerely interested in a relationship.

So sounds like she wasn’t suited to camming and has decided love conning is more for her.

Theres nothing wrong with anyone realizing camming isn’t a good match for them. However if she’s using that to somehow justify love conning in her mind, then that would definitely be taking things way too far IMO. If pirated content soured her so bad on people, she should go talk to a counselor and take a break from cam sites. Sure, none of us like it, but it’s not a justification to go full Cruella . I’m just guessing that’s what is going on though. Who knows.

I wouldn’t believe a word she says tbh. That could all be pure bullshit too. Sounds like a poor me pity party type thing. Like; feel sorry for me, my content got pirated, send me money to make it better. Emotional manipulation.

Side note; I fucking love ellipses. I try to overuse them anytime I can get away with it. But I’m also a total run on sentence culprit too, so of course I would.

 

[JohnOfC]

I dont know what man needs to hear this.
But stop taking care of the woman who is not treating you well.
Not respecting you, not appreciating you, not loving you.

You do not win a award for sticking around;
You do not win a award for 'saving her';
You do not win a award for 'for finding out how'.

all you're doing is drowning your self in the process.

all the time you put into her could have been used to find a true love or having fun with other girls at the webcam service.

WakeUp George;
. Report it to the relevant websites, That she got money directly from you without the knowledge of the website;
. And that the lady is practicing romance scam on their customers.

A vagina is like the weather, when it rains it is time to go inside.

 

[pazzorich]

As of now, I'm in the stage of extricating from it...and basically deciding what to do about it (if anything beyond cutting her off).

Bro, I feel sorry about how you got yourself into this situation, and I am also sorry if my comment offended you. But at this point, now that everything is clear, you really should understand that the problem is inside of you and she is just a toxicity inside your brain, like any other drug. That is, over the last year you have become obsessed with this woman and addicted to the virtual romance. The only solution is to ghost her entirely - block her profile wherever you have been communicating with her.

And I disagree with most of the others here about reporting her at cam sites. Sure, it would be a public service, but doing so would supply further food for your addiction. A clean break would imply a sincere effort to purge her from your mind entirely. I know it's hard, but it's something that has to be done.

And I'll add that it is possible for a user to develop a relationship with a cam model in real life, being in such a relationship myself. But it is totally different from anything you have described here.

 

[GeorgeSpelvin]

Exactly , normal people will never be able to understand, relate or make sense of it. The brain of a sociopath is different and lacking some stuff we all have (in the orbitofrontal cortex if I remember correctly. Mirror neurons or something, those are what give us empathy, cause us to cry at sad movies etc). Something like that. It’s been a while since school. And I’m not up on the most current research on the topic. But I’d like to be…

So this is not more for purposes of the case study but I was looking through the vast Skype chats and I here I'm pasted a few more interactions that say a little about my "relationship" with this model. Four or five months ago, I made the mistake of mentioning some interactions with a woman (friend) in my local world, who did something nice for me. I received this jealous or possessive reaction:

​

Her: YOU KEEP SAYING HOW AMAZING SHE IS....OKAY, BUT AS A MAN YOU SHOULD UNDERSTAND THAT ANY MENTION OF OTHER GIRLS IN MY PRESENCE IS INSULTING TO ME AND DISRESPECTFUL! YOU CAN TALK TO ME ABOUT HER ATTITUDE TOWARDS YOU, BUT DO NOT EXTOL HER IN MY EYES, MY OPINION OF PEOPLE VERY RARELY CHANGES​

​

Me: OKAY BUT DO YOU HAVE TO YELL? I don't know what you're talking about, where did I ever say "amazing" or anything like that???? This is just my friend for a long time and there is no reason to act competitive or be so angry.​

​

Her: That's not what I'm trying to tell you​

​

Me: Oh....so what ARE you trying to tell me?​

​

Her: I am a leader by nature....I don't need competition, I am the person who is always listened to, respected and followed. when people start competing with me, I have a backlash..I start to put the person down so that she/he knows his place... as for our situation, xxxx [friend] is weak, if I had the opportunity to talk to her in person, she would cry in the first 10 minutes... Don't forget, I once told you that I can bite the throat with a smile on my face...underestimate me.​

​

The weakling would run away from me after a week of communication...this is one of the reasons for my loneliness.​

 

[MarieElise]

So this is not more for purposes of the case study but I was looking through the vast Skype chats and I here I'm pasted a few more interactions that say a little about my "relationship" with this model. Four or five months ago, I made the mistake of mentioning some interactions with a woman (friend) in my local world, who did something nice for me. I received this jealous or possessive reaction:

​

Her: YOU KEEP SAYING HOW AMAZING SHE IS....OKAY, BUT AS A MAN YOU SHOULD UNDERSTAND THAT ANY MENTION OF OTHER GIRLS IN MY PRESENCE IS INSULTING TO ME AND DISRESPECTFUL! YOU CAN TALK TO ME ABOUT HER ATTITUDE TOWARDS YOU, BUT DO NOT EXTOL HER IN MY EYES, MY OPINION OF PEOPLE VERY RARELY CHANGES​

​

Me: OKAY BUT DO YOU HAVE TO YELL? I don't know what you're talking about, where did I ever say "amazing" or anything like that???? This is just my friend for a long time and there is no reason to act competitive or be so angry.​

​

Her: That's not what I'm trying to tell you​

​

Me: Oh....so what ARE you trying to tell me?​

​

Her: I am a leader by nature....I don't need competition, I am the person who is always listened to, respected and followed. when people start competing with me, I have a backlash..I start to put the person down so that she/he knows his place... as for our situation, xxxx [friend] is weak, if I had the opportunity to talk to her in person, she would cry in the first 10 minutes... Don't forget, I once told you that I can bite the throat with a smile on my face...underestimate me.​

​

The weakling would run away from me after a week of communication...this is one of the reasons for my loneliness.​

Sounds extremely narcissistic. People can have traits of narcissism and sociopathic traits at the same time too. But a lot of what you are sharing sounds more grandiose and narcissistic.

Major ego issues. Type of person to stay the fuck away from IMO

People can also come across that way if they are in the grips of full blown addiction, and using certain drugs too. But a lot of the people I’ve heard talk like that, in life, are more narcissistic. Either way, someone to stay the fuck away from.

 

[Miss_Lollipop]

A vagina is like the weather, when it rains it is time to go inside.

what?

 

[GeorgeSpelvin]

Bro, I feel sorry about how you got yourself into this situation, and I am also sorry if my comment offended you. But at this point, now that everything is clear, you really should understand that the problem is inside of you and she is just a toxicity inside your brain, like any other drug. That is, over the last year you have become obsessed with this woman and addicted to the virtual romance. The only solution is to ghost her entirely - block her profile wherever you have been communicating with her.

And I disagree with most of the others here about reporting her at cam sites. Sure, it would be a public service, but doing so would supply further food for your addiction. A clean break would imply a sincere effort to purge her from your mind entirely. I know it's hard, but it's something that has to be done.

And I'll add that it is possible for a user to develop a relationship with a cam model in real life, being in such a relationship myself. But it is totally different from anything you have described here.

sorry if my comment offended you

It didn't particularly offend me; it just wasn't accurate (as to the idea that I was knowingly playing along with some kind of fantasy role-modeling game from the start). A scam is different than an agreed upon role play. And both are different than someone seriously interested in romance / relationship.

Sure, it would be a public service, but doing so would supply further food for your addiction.

I have mixed feelings about the issue of "turning her in," but not because I think it would perpetuate involvement. If anything, it would definitely end all connection once I hit "send." So I'm not sure of your thinking about this. But perhaps, based on other facts you shared, you have a different view from most of the models here regarding the boundaries of what the models do as part of their jobs.

But it is totally different from anything you have described here.

In what ways? I would have to assume that at the minimum, if you are involved with a model you met as a member, the model actually wanted some sort of real-world relationship and was receptive to that from a member. In the situation I've been describing, the presumption is that the model is basically scamming for money and not actually seeking love or a true relationship. So that would be at least one big difference. But I'm just curious.

 

[Omne35]

I've had Russian girlfriends in real life , here and in Russia, including ones educated in English with advanced educations. That last Skype chat screams not Russian or one that spent years outside Russia. The grammar, choice of words and even a couple of the concepts are completely wrong for a younger Russian.

 

[misterical]

So this is not more for purposes of the case study but I was looking through the vast Skype chats and I here I'm pasted a few more interactions that say a little about my "relationship" with this model. Four or five months ago, I made the mistake of mentioning some interactions with a woman (friend) in my local world, who did something nice for me. I received this jealous or possessive reaction:

​

Her: YOU KEEP SAYING HOW AMAZING SHE IS....OKAY, BUT AS A MAN YOU SHOULD UNDERSTAND THAT ANY MENTION OF OTHER GIRLS IN MY PRESENCE IS INSULTING TO ME AND DISRESPECTFUL! YOU CAN TALK TO ME ABOUT HER ATTITUDE TOWARDS YOU, BUT DO NOT EXTOL HER IN MY EYES, MY OPINION OF PEOPLE VERY RARELY CHANGES​

​

Me: OKAY BUT DO YOU HAVE TO YELL? I don't know what you're talking about, where did I ever say "amazing" or anything like that???? This is just my friend for a long time and there is no reason to act competitive or be so angry.​

​

Her: That's not what I'm trying to tell you​

​

Me: Oh....so what ARE you trying to tell me?​

​

Her: I am a leader by nature....I don't need competition, I am the person who is always listened to, respected and followed. when people start competing with me, I have a backlash..I start to put the person down so that she/he knows his place... as for our situation, xxxx [friend] is weak, if I had the opportunity to talk to her in person, she would cry in the first 10 minutes... Don't forget, I once told you that I can bite the throat with a smile on my face...underestimate me.​

​

The weakling would run away from me after a week of communication...this is one of the reasons for my loneliness.​

Seriously George. A couple of pages back in this thread, I thought @JohnOfC was a troll, tormenting you. My opinion of him has changed. He talks a lot of sense. You'd do well to listen to him.

This isn't a case study. You're not collating a piece for a psychologists periodical. You are just giving yourself an excuse to hang on longer than you should. None of this can be any good for your mental health. Get out now. Don't look back. Seriously, the exchange quoted above is FUCKING MENTAL. Run for your life. Cut all contact. Don't look back. Don't wonder what if. Just get the fuck out now.

 

[misterical]

what?

Yeah, when I said @JohnOfC talked a lot of sense, I meant with the exception of that bit.

 

[Sashacurves]

Yeah, when I said @JohnOfC talked a lot of sense, I meant with the exception of that bit.

I was just about to call you out on this

 

[GeorgeSpelvin]

I've had Russian girlfriends in real life , here and in Russia, including ones educated in English with advanced educations. That last Skype chat screams not Russian or one that spent years outside Russia. The grammar, choice of words and even a couple of the concepts are completely wrong for a younger Russian.

She's definitely Russian and still there, so I'm not sure what other explanation there is other than perhaps her having lived in a somewhat larger city, having some college, and maybe the years of interaction with English-speakers had some effect. Not sure otherwise.

 

[misterical]

I have mixed feelings about the issue of "turning her in," but not because I think it would perpetuate involvement. If anything, it would definitely end all connection once I hit "send." So I'm not sure of your thinking about this. But perhaps, based on other facts you shared, you have a different view from most of the models here regarding the boundaries of what the models do as part of their jobs.

This is the bit that I don't understand. I fail to see any outcome to this other than all connection ending. Unless you want to carry on for another year with some bizarre social experiment to "prove yourself right". You've already been proven right a thousand times over. Imagine not being you and reading your story. Come on man. More red flags than a communist party rally.

 

[misterical]

And I'll add that it is possible for a user to develop a relationship with a cam model in real life, being in such a relationship myself. But it is totally different from anything you have described here.

I'll reiterate this as well. It is possible to have any kind of relationship with anyone in this world. Cam models and members are the same as anyone else. Any two people can have a relationship of any description. I have long running platonic relationship going on with a model in Colombia. She sends me photos of her dog. I send her photos of my city. What she doesn't send me is threats and invoices. That shit isn't normal. If she started asking me for money, I'd hit the block button so fast I'd get a friction burn. I certainly wouldn't set out on another few months of investigation and discovery.

 

[MarieElise]

I think it’s been an intense year for George and he has a lot to unpack and process. I’m confident he will sever ties and hopefully report her too.

The nice part about him sharing some of this stuff is that it gives objective unbiased people a chance to give him honest feedback. So he knows it’s not just one persons opinion that she is batshit, and it will hopefully reinforce him in case he experiences self doubt over his final decision. Loss takes time. It’s not easy

 

[misterical]

I think it’s been an intense year for George and he has a lot to unpack and process. I’m confident he will sever ties and hopefully report her too.

I totally get that but I can't be the only person in this thread thinking that George is using this "investigation" thing as an excuse to delay severing ties, presumably because he has an understandbly intense emotional connection. All of this despite knowing that the entire thing is complete fantasy. There is only one ending to this story and the only variable is how much pain is going to be involved between now and reaching that inevitable end point.

 

[Omne35]

She's definitely Russian and still there, so I'm not sure what other explanation there is other than perhaps her having lived in a somewhat larger city, having some college, and maybe the years of interaction with English-speakers had some effect. Not sure otherwise.

I don't know. I do know something is wrong though. My girlfriends came from Moscow and Kazan, both very large cities. One was a doctor.
Even for a Russian model with years online it doesn't sound right.
One thing comes to mind, if she spent years scamming English speaking tourists in person, I mean 10+ years, as part of a group. The best English speaker I knew there had a boyfriend in the Russian Mafia.

 

[MarieElise]

I totally get that but I can't be the only person in this thread thinking that George is using this "investigation" thing as an excuse to delay severing ties, presumably because he has an understandbly intense emotional connection. All of this despite knowing that the entire thing is complete fantasy. There is only one ending to this story and the only variable is how much pain is going to be involved between now and reaching that inevitable end point.

Yep I get it. You’re doing the right thing by giving him that honest feedback. You have his back, and want him to make the break. You’re speaking truth. It’s a tough topic. And I think we all feel for George here, and want him out of this situation.

ETA; some people are external processors though and they need others to bounce stuff off of. So there’s probably a few different things going on here at once. It can be kind of confusing for people who are more internal processors.

 

[Deleted member 70347]

Could someone be ghost typing for her? There is a model that I visit from time to time, based in Bucharest. Her English is weak to moderate. When she types, she types basically with one finger. There are times however that her keyboard is just out of view of the camera and her fingers appear to be gliding quickly over the keys, with responses coming more fluidly than other times. I have wondered if someone else is actually responding for her. Does this happen?

 

[misterical]

I don't know. I do know something is wrong though. My girlfriends came from Moscow and Kazan, both very large cities. One was a doctor.
Even for a Russian model with years online it doesn't sound right.
One thing comes to mind, if she spent years scamming English speaking tourists in person, I mean 10+ years, as part of a group. The best English speaker I knew there had a boyfriend in the Russian Mafia.

Side story. About 25 years ago, I was having a fucking amazing night in a nightclub in Prague. Next thing I know, I'm waking up on a couch in a strange apartment. At the back of the room was a table with what I can only describe as Russian gangsters playing poker. They were surrounded by Chinese guys who were betting on the Russians betting. Nobody seemed phased by my presence, which suggests I was already there when they arrived. I cautiously made my way out of the apartment, only to be confronted by a huge doorman inhabiting what looked like the worlds smallest cloakroom by the front door. We had a 10 minute standoff as he repeatedly asked me which gun was mine and I repeatedly told him that I definitely didn't own a gun. He eventually gave up trying to return a weapon to me and opened the door. To this day, I have no fucking idea how I got there.

 

[Lilly_____]

Are you saying that someone is coaching or reviewing what she writes, like a studio boss who speaks English at a high level? Seems possible for long messages she sent offline, but not sure about in our live chats.

I'm not saying anything other than I actually said on my post. I can't possibly tell whether she studied a lot, is being coached or is just using a very good translator (most translators hardly ever translate some expressions and slangs accurately), or maybe she comes from a bilingual family... There are so many possibilities and I'm not fond of assuming things.

All I can share is the information I have as someone who speaks English as a second language and struggled for years to get to the point where I could naturally use those types of grammar structures and expressions.

 

[pazzorich]

In what ways? I would have to assume that at the minimum, if you are involved with a model you met as a member, the model actually wanted some sort of real-world relationship and was receptive to that from a member. In the situation I've been describing, the presumption is that the model is basically scamming for money and not actually seeking love or a true relationship. So that would be at least one big difference. But I'm just curious.

I'm not going to go into much detail, but one main difference is that we met in real life shortly after getting acquainted online. And suffice it to say that I had to travel a long distance to meet her, at her invitation. We've been together almost 4 years.

 

[JohnOfC]

what?,
A vagina is like the weather; when it's wet, it's time to go inside.

I should have seen it