In love, jealous, miserable.

[Smoothie]

Here's my current plan:

It's a week into June. I'm gonna try to make some changes and then evaluate at the end of the month. If things are not looking better by then I will probably say my goodbyes and leave the room. I'll also do mini-evaluations each week, so there's some time to course-correct if things aren't working.

The things I'm going to try to do are:

1. Be mindful of what I feel and honest about what I think I can do with that.

2. Try to focus on my own enjoyment. I'll be in the room and talk if it's fun and brings me something positive, but if it feels like an obligation I'll try to do something else.

3. Write down concrete plans for the month for myself. Both important things that have to be done and hobby-based stuff. I think I'll even try to plan specific things each day. But I won't beat myself up if I miss something. It's mostly as a help to have other things to do at hand.

You seem to have a pretty rational view of your problems, all things considered. Hopefully you pull out of it and start feeling better.

All I will add, based on the above quote, is try not to overthink things. If you need to take notes and re-evaluate in order to keep your focus, that's fine. But remember that some situations might be exactly as they appear at surface level without any deeper or hidden meaning, and aren't as complicated as your imagination might want to make them.