Clients from Hell

[Evvie]

Client: “This is absolutely wrong. Where’s all the HTML. We want the HTML?”

Me: “I don’t understand. All the files should be on the flash drive we gave you yesterday.”

Client: “Well… whats all this php jumbo-mumbo?”

Me: “PHP is just a language. It does all the work for your CMS. You can’t have CMS with only HTML files.

Client: “I get it. You just don’t understand. WEB-SITES-ARE-MADE-OF-H-T-M-L… or did you not learn that in whatever school you went to?”

Me: “I didn’t go to college.”

Client: “I’m working with a bunch of idiots.”


For any of you looking for a good dose of distraction and have ever had to talk to people in your life, Clients from Hell should do the trick.

http://clientsfromhell.net/post/3427477 ... es-all-the

Enjoy!

 

[HardCoreAlice]

As someone who has done web programming (in school not as a job, but did do HTML and PHP programming), all I can say is WTF and that I am very sorry you have to deal with that.... also appreciate that you are able to get some enjoyment out of it!
Here is a call my co-worker took when I was a legal assistant with her:
caller: I need to know if I can file bankruptcy on a car loan
Her: Generally that sort of this isn't a problem.
Caller: Well I don't have the car anymore...
Her: Where is the car?
Caller: It went off a cliff
Her: Well was it an accident or what exactly happened?
Caller: I got mad at the loan company and pushed the car off a cliff, they can't come after me for that, can they?
Her: Well.... I would say you couldn't file bankruptcy on that debt.... (end of call)
Thanks Evvie! I like this thread!

 

[bob]

Thanks Evvie! I like this thread!

yeah....me too....

"I think those icons need icons so people know what they mean."

____________________

this one's for nordling

"Make it not as readable." :lol:

 

[Mirra]

I don't want to admit how long I just spent reading submissions from that website. :whistle:

 

[Evvie]

I see I've sucked you all in :lol:

Here's another fun one:

ME: If you want a custom Christmas e-mail template, it’ll take at least two billable hours.

CLIENT: We don’t want to pay extra. Can’t you just add a snowy background?

ME: It’s a bit more complicated than that. I’m sorry, but I do have to charge by the hour.

CLIENT: No. Why don’t you spend a couple hours figuring out how we can do this for free.

ME: You want me to sit here for a “couple hours” to figure out a way you can get me to work for a couple of hours for free?

***

CLIENT: ”We want the interface to be edgy and all Web 5.0.”

ME: ”Web 5.0 doesn’t exist. Web 2.0 is an accepted standard and 3.0 is still just theoretical discussion at this point.”

CLIENT: ”Exactly! If our site is first to market with Web 5.0 we get to set the standards and everybody that comes after will have to pay us royalties!”

ME: ”Ummm… that’s not how Web protocol standards work…”

CLIENT: “Yes it is, I learned that in my Marketing Degree.”

 

[Mirra]

Hah... yeah. I saw that one. I made it to page 20 before I said "Okay... let's pull ourselves AWAY from this site."

 

[theguitarrist]

"Random story" button is a black hole of time.
:-D

 

[theguitarrist]

"We’re a pretty forward thinking company - with pretty tech savvy employees. As you can see, we use Mozzarella Firefox."

 

[Nordling]

 

[spikyhaired]

Holy eff. Not only did I become mired in the throes of the random story button, one of the stories included a link to The Oatmeal. Must. Get. Back. To. Work.

 

[Brum2011]

Absolutely awesome site!!! If you like Clients from hell you might like this site too http://www.dontevenreply.com/