Dating a camgirl and I need some advice

[Ann_Sulu]

Re-reading this, I admit I thought that @pocket sand was more going about it as a guy who was just having issues with his relationship and in turn blaming it on the job. Sorry about that misunderstanding. If the job wasn't a right fit for her, it's good I suppose that she moved on. Also happy birthday lol.

If however we're talking like the secrecy with friends/family (if needed), long hours, potential stalkers etc, then yeah I totally agree those are issues that need to be addressed before they cause any major relationship issues.

Most couples have a huge problem relationship-wise in general if one is self-employed simply because they don't have a job where they have to leave the house. It gets worse of course if you magnify that problem of not having the job taken seriously, by adding in the factors addressed in the above paragraph.

 

[CrazyCatLady]

I wouldn't disagree there are sacrifices. there are sacrifices in ALL relationships. That's what relationships are about.

I think my snicker came with "rational guys sacrifice" I feel like you have to by HYPER rational to date a cam girl.

I'm mostly super curious about how OP is doing since we haven't heard from him yet really. I'm kind of rooting for you OP. Jealousy is a mean animal and I hope for the sake of your relationship you can take some of the things said here to heart.

Yes. Exactly. The "rational" part of it is the problem. Especially because (like you said) dating a camgirl means you have to be super rational.

 

[mynameisbob84]

I think pocketsand could have worded things better but we're honing in on one word he used more so than any point he's actually made. It's not irrational to want and expect that your partner doesn't get naked for other people or share intimate details of your shared sex life with relative strangers. It's not irrational to not want to lie about what your partner does for a living to friends and family. It's not irrational to worry about the safety of both you and your partner because some member on a cam site has become obsessed with them. If those things aren't irrational, then by definition they are things that rational people would expect from a relationship, no?

It doesn't mean you can't be rational and also accept all of those things, but it's silly to pretend that dating a cam girl wouldn't come with a set of unique hurdles to overcome that dating a non-sex worker wouldn't present. And if OP can't deal with those things, then whether it was worded diplomatically or not, pocketsand's advice is good advice.

 

[JoleneBrody]

I'm glad this got back on track cuz yeah.... Us camgirls live very different lives 24/7 so a partner will need to take on that lifestyle and that lifestyle is far from average. It can be very isolating and hard, that doesn't even include jealousy possibilities.

However this doesn't even seem like OPs issue, op hasn't gotten far enough to deal with this level of shit. He's just jealous about something he doesn't want to be jealous about. Not everyone is right for non monogamy and that's what being with a sexual camgirl is. It takes a certain uncommon type of person to date a sex worker, and op is not it.
I advise strongly OP breaks it off and moves on, because I don't see this level of jealousy ever getting turned around enough to not cause long term issues and hurt.

 

[pocket sand]

@NoelleBright and @AmberCutie Great posts. Very reasonable and mature.

Couldn't help but notice some petty girl felt the need to shit on my posts. Thank you for the laugh @NerdieBirdie.

 

[Violet Dawn]

When I first read @pocket sand 's post I was assuming he was referring to something like infidelity, like a lot of men think. But after reading @NoelleBright 's post it makes more sense. In that situation it can be really hard to date someone like that. My boyfriend doesn't really have a problem with his family knowing or being judgy(if it comes to that, it hasn't yet) because they are like that with him anyway. But he still has to conduct a lie and people are going to think I'm living off his income and he has to deal with that. I wouldn't doubt it's harder than if I just worked at the grocery store.

But back to the original post.... I asked my boyfriend a few minutes ago if he ever feels jealous. He answered like this "No. Because they aren't getting you. They are paying for a service. It's like, when we go out to the store and a guy looks at you and I don't know he liked the way your neck looked so when he goes home he thinks about it and gets off. It's going to happen. At least you're getting paid doing this, even if it's technically a little more personal." Basically, people are going to fantasize about your girl anyway. They're going to think about some pretty intense and hardcore things with her. Especially if they know her regularly, like at a job. You have to accept it in those situations, so try accepting it when it comes with benefits. Like her actually having control over her body and image then getting paid for it.

 

[LuxVendetta]

Couldn't help but notice some petty girl felt the need to shit on my posts. Thank you for the laugh @NerdieBirdie.

Dude. Quit being a dick.

 

[Mikey_P]

Most couples have a huge problem relationship-wise in general if one is self-employed simply because they don't have a job where they have to leave the house. It gets worse of course if you magnify that problem of not having the job taken seriously, by adding in the factors addressed in the above paragraph.

I've had this issue in romantic and familial relationships-- A disrespect of my time. The idea that because I work from home that at any moment I can just get and do whatever they want me to do.

It actually worked out well in my last relationship, it almost felt like I was a stay at home husband although I made the most money and paid the bills, but I had fun being super domestic, cooking and being able to take care of my partner. It is an odd dynamic-- breadwinner + stay at home dude + chef + maid + a very spoiled but always thankful GF. It was almost perfect, especially since she traveled a lot for work so it was basically a 2wks on and 2wks off thing and that fits my personality perfectly!

A bit OT but I've been working home for the last 7 years and it is a grind, especially when ppl don't respect my time or believe that I'm not really working as hard as them or something silly. I actually work 10-12 hour days, often 6-7 days a week.

 

[Mikey_P]

I have slight jealousy tendencies but I am also hyper-aware and constantly ask myself, "are you being a little beyotch, are you being rational, where do these feelings stem from?" I do that with everything.

I think that for me, my way out of jealousy is actually focusing on who I want to be in a relationship and who do I want to be as a person. It is also easier when I pick a partner who shares the same values. I also see some forms of jealousy as natural and it isn't bad that we have jealous thought, it is more important how we navigate them. I actually think that in some situations it is perfectly fine to tell your partner how you feel, not to point a finger but just to let them know what you are dealing with and how you plan to work through it.

Dating A Cam Girl?

I don't think that camming would make me jealous, it is just a job. I would be far more concerned with safety, privacy, shows recorded and publicly shared, what family and the community might think and if we one day have kids how would this affect them (bro your mom gave the best squirt show!) I also wouldn't like dating someone with cam girl hours. Since I work from home, adapting to a cam model GF's schedule wouldn't be that difficult.

But for the right woman all my concerns are likely to take a backseat.

Any models who want to date me, send a PM!

Sidenote-- I would rather date a tease, communicator, multiple countdown cam model--- Because-- 'save something for me to pleasure!' I don't think I would want one of those models who are banging themselves from the time they log in and until they logout. What sex do they have left to give? Although I get it is different but stillll.

 

[Sevrin]

Sidenote-- I would rather date a tease, communicator, multiple countdown cam model--- Because-- 'save something for me to pleasure!' I don't think I would want one of those models who are banging themselves from the time they log in and until they logout. What sex do they have left to give? Although I get it is different but stillll.

It's not that simple. A model who does a lot of teasing and communicating can easily be more emotionally drained and/or take longer to unwind at the end of a session than a model who spends her time with her fingers in her cooch.

 

[SaffronBurke]

Sidenote-- I would rather date a tease, communicator, multiple countdown cam model--- Because-- 'save something for me to pleasure!' I don't think I would want one of those models who are banging themselves from the time they log in and until they logout. What sex do they have left to give? Although I get it is different but stillll.

You'd be surprised! If I'm craving sex with a human, I can bang myself all day on cam, and still be ready to go with someone when I log off at the end of the night. Moreso if it's been one of those nights when everyone ends the private just before I cum, because then I've got a couple hours of pent-up near-orgasm that needs released!

It's not that simple. A model who does a lot of teasing and communicating can easily be more emotionally drained and/or take longer to unwind at the end of a session than a model who spends her time with her fingers in her cooch.

This is very true! It's very noticeable to those of us who've switched from a token site to a private-based site. Places like SM, even though you do get regular customers before long, it's way less energy keeping up with them, because there's less of a focus on being besty best friends and it's more transactional, so it's more like a frequent customer in retail or food kind of thing, which is easier to disconnect from at the end of a shift.

 

[_Travis_]

This is not a topic I want to shorten to make it easier to read, so it will be a wall of text, sorry in advance.

I met a girl on MFC that was initially a skype show relationship. However, I talked a lot with her when she wasn't working, which has gradually grown into a relationship over the last couple of months. It has been difficult, especially at the start because I just assumed she was only into me for my money. We decided to meet up in real life, but she lives in another country, so I had to plan some vacation around it. At the start I was in it mostly for the ride, I thought it would be fun, she is super cute, and I love her personality. If things go good, they go good, if she is just stringing me along for the money, then in the long run I have lost a little money but nothing serious.

The problem is that I have fallen in love. After meeting her in real life, and being with her for a week (which was suuuper awkward in the start, hah!). I also know for a fact that she loves me too, and I no longer have any doubts about whether she is trying to trick me along for the money or not. She genuinely likes me. So the issue presented itself when I came back home from the trip, and she needed to go back to work.

You can probably guess where this is headed. I do not consider myself a jealous person, I have had girlfriends before, and I have never felt jealous of them being with guy friends or anything like that. I consider myself mentally to be a very sex positive person, and in my rational mind I recognize that getting naked on camera and masturbating, is just a job like any other. Just like in any customer service profession you have good days and bad days, and days where you can get some super shitty customers to deal with. You have to pretend to be happy when you are not, and you might be on your third masturbation show in a row when all you really want to do is go to bed. You might be on your period and trying desperately to hide it and pretend that it is not there, so you will not offend any of our delicate male sensibilities. So even if the job can be fun and rewarding, it's still a job.

Even so, I got jealous, and I feel it gets worse every week. I really really love her, and I know she loves me too. However, every time she goes online, and I think about her being in a private show with someone else. Masturbating, or dancing, or whatever. It just kills me, and I hate it. I am trying all I can to stay positive and pretend i am not "too" bothered by it. I have told her about it (I think it's best to be open and communicate), and she knows I am having a hard time of it lately. As a result she now only works every 3rd day or so, compared to every day before, of her own volition. Which makes me feel awful, because I know how much money she would make if it wasn't for me. I kinda feel like an asshole.

She says she wants to quit, that she enjoys the work on some days, but hate the days when she tries really hard, with 100 people watching, and she gets 0 tips. She can't quit fully until the day where we move together (which is at least a year from now), and she doesn't want me sending her money to cover for her loss of income.

So, I just need some guidance on how to deal with the situation. When I get jealous I get in a really bad mood, to the degree that I do not want to talk to her, and it also puts me in a bad mood when I am at work. I just get these awful images in my mind of what she is doing for her customers, even if I do what I can not to think about it (what if she does a show with a new customer who is like me, that she likes even more, who is prettier, funnier and who doesn't bitch about her job!). I feel that the smart thing would be to just end it and move on, for my own sanity.

However, I just love her so damn much. I have never been as happy as when I am with her, we have a really great chemistry together, and I know the camming is just a temporary gig. What is the next 10 months compared to the rest of our lives? (assuming we don't hate each other after year 6, get a divorce, and spend the rest of our lives doing custody battles, heh...) Do any of you have significant others that can tell me how they handle the situation? Are they just cool with it?

I am also really worried that it will just get worse, especially the more I meet her in real life, and that I will grow to resent her for it. Or I am worried that she will grow to resent me for being so jealous when she works, because she feels bad when she works because of me. I try not to complain too much, but it's also hard for me to say nothing at all when I am having such an issue of it.

If you read all of this, thank you for taking the time, and all advice is appreciated.

Can you make a post sharing your secrets? something like "how to date a camgirl" you're da man! lol

 

[BiancaBaker]

I have slight jealousy tendencies but I am also hyper-aware and constantly ask myself, "are you being a little beyotch, are you being rational, where do these feelings stem from?" I do that with everything.

I think that for me, my way out of jealousy is actually focusing on who I want to be in a relationship and who do I want to be as a person. It is also easier when I pick a partner who shares the same values. I also see some forms of jealousy as natural and it isn't bad that we have jealous thought, it is more important how we navigate them. I actually think that in some situations it is perfectly fine to tell your partner how you feel, not to point a finger but just to let them know what you are dealing with and how you plan to work through it.

Dating A Cam Girl?

I don't think that camming would make me jealous, it is just a job. I would be far more concerned with safety, privacy, shows recorded and publicly shared, what family and the community might think and if we one day have kids how would this affect them (bro your mom gave the best squirt show!) I also wouldn't like dating someone with cam girl hours. Since I work from home, adapting to a cam model GF's schedule wouldn't be that difficult.

But for the right woman all my concerns are likely to take a backseat.

Any models who want to date me, send a PM!

Sidenote-- I would rather date a tease, communicator, multiple countdown cam model--- Because-- 'save something for me to pleasure!' I don't think I would want one of those models who are banging themselves from the time they log in and until they logout. What sex do they have left to give? Although I get it is different but stillll.

Can I just say something:

1.) Who cares what someones family thinks (significant other's) this is absurd in my opinion. Does your'e mom pay my bills? NO. Does your'e family support me and make sure I am living above my needs... NO. Honestly if a family member found my clips or whatever THEY were looking for it.. Or how else would they find it? which means there the ones watching porn. I'm not ashamed of what I do so why should the guy I am dating. My boyfriends family does not know but that's because we told them I did Marketing (which is true) and they didn't ask any other questions. Most families aren't going to pry into someone's job.

2.) According children. A lot of girls that cam have kids. You know what sex workers make amazing parents. They are home when there kids need it. No daycare or anything because guess what we are home. Unless you are dating a high profile pornstar (which I doubt) there is NO reason for you to worry about kids in school finding out.


3.) Okay so you work at home.. SO doesn't a cam girl. It's called having separate rooms to work.

4.) As long as a girl doesn't share her information, or details about where she lives and uses a VPN it's really hard for privacy to be an issue and safety. Of course it happens- guys find out where you live. That's why we can protect ourselves in case this happens. What is the difference if I had a vanilla job and had a stalker at work? Or a guy at a bar was creepy and tried something? Or someone followed me home from the train station or what not. That does happen and more often than a guy finding a camgirl on the internet.


This job has done a lot of stuff for a lot of us- Like I said before and will say again. Not every guy is built for a relationship with a sex worker (stripper/camgirl/fetish model) and that's fine. There are PLENTY of guys who would be okay with it because they are comfortable with themselves and trust there significant other to be honest and open. Just like any relationship. A job does not define a person; there are so many girls with talents (like singing, painting, etc) other than masturbating.

 

[Mikey_P]

Can I just say something:

Yes, you can say something! I might get one of those annoying 'Take A Chill Pill' ratings but I DGAF. Your reply seems overly defensive and as if my personal concerns do not matter. You also seem to have taken my post as a slight against cam girls vs an awareness of all the stuff that would come with dating or marrying someone who cams.

Some of your counters were also a bit to simple such as the idea that any woman could be stalked, which is true but is an unequal comparison between a model who is in front of thousands of men each week, who will Google her and all it take is one person knowing who she is for her privacy to be destroyed-- Happened to one of my favorite models who is super safe but once her real name was found out it opened the gates of unwanted information landing in the public domain. I think that is a valid concern.

About kids, I didn't imply for a second that a cam model would be a bad mom. I said that I would worry about the BS a kid would face if their friends found out.

Family is important and what they think does matter-- they wouldn't be the ones making my decision to date someone but they do matter.

I also believe that family members finding out doesn't mean that they would have to specifically seek you out. I read an article about a male cam model getting found out by his parents because a family friend came across his videos.

About both working at home-- I actually meant to write a but in the original post and that is why it could work, the time schedule just would put a strain on the relationship.

Concerns are just concerns not judgments, not damnation or anything like that.

 

[AmberCutie]

I'm really confused at the disagreements and facepalms to @Mikey_P's posts above. These are some points that cam models themselves make from time to time (increased exposure for cam girls = higher stalking likelihood than others, friends/family finding out, judgement, etc) but since it's a guy that sometimes says things you don't like, you "downvote" his posts?

Just weird.

 

[JoleneBrody]

I'm really confused at the disagreements and facepalms to @Mikey_P's posts above. These are some points that cam models themselves make from time to time (increased exposure for cam girls = higher stalking likelihood than others, friends/family finding out, judgement, etc) but since it's a guy that sometimes says things you don't like, you "downvote" his posts?

Just weird.

Aye, these are real issues in the homes of sex workers, legal or not. These are the reasons why sex work is a high risk/high pay job. It doesn't make a lot of sense for us to be making these same points constantly when defending our industry but then jump down the throat of someone who agrees and is concerned they can't hang with those risks.

 

[pocket sand]

This job has done a lot of stuff for a lot of us- Like I said before and will say again. Not every guy is built for a relationship with a sex worker (stripper/camgirl/fetish model) and that's fine. There are PLENTY of guys who would be okay with it because they are comfortable with themselves and trust there significant other to be honest and open. Just like any relationship. A job does not define a person

I'm curious what you mean by this. Not really understanding how being comfortable with yourself factors into things. You can be comfortable with yourself and still not want to have to sacrifice certain things in a relationship. I would even argue that you have to be extremely comfortable with yourself to not be willing to make certain sacrifices. Obviously if you really love the person, no sacrifice is too great and all that sappy shit. A guy just getting into a relationship with a camgirl probably isn't thinking about the effects it could have on his career or family or anything really. Very possible that it could have no effect on anything and some might not have to sacrifice much. Some would have to sacrifice many things while also seeing no benefits of any sort. Comfort levels probably vary wildly for each individual.

Completely agree about ones work not defining them but the stigma attached to sex work isn't going away anytime soon. People can be as defensive or insulting or even delusional/in denial about it as they want but I just don't see the point. It isn't going to change the reality of the situation. I think the stigma attached is dumb, never got it really, but I won't feign ignorance at its existence just because I don't like it.


I could be very wrong but judging from some of the responses I get the feeling some saw my original post and took it as me saying that being involved with a sex worker isn't as cool or as good as being with other women. Not what I meant at all. It certainly comes with its own set of potential issues but that doesn't make sex workers a worse partner because of it. A guy can be with a sex worker and be happier with her than he would be with any other woman with any other job. Rambling but just didn't want to be misunderstood.

 

[BiancaBaker]

I'm curious what you mean by this. Not really understanding how being comfortable with yourself factors into things. You can be comfortable with yourself and still not want to have to sacrifice certain things in a relationship. I would even argue that you have to be extremely comfortable with yourself to not be willing to make certain sacrifices. Obviously if you really love the person, no sacrifice is too great and all that sappy shit. A guy just getting into a relationship with a camgirl probably isn't thinking about the effects it could have on his career or family or anything really. Very possible that it could have no effect on anything and some might not have to sacrifice much. Some would have to sacrifice many things while also seeing no benefits of any sort. Comfort levels probably vary wildly for each individual.

Completely agree about ones work not defining them but the stigma attached to sex work isn't going away anytime soon. People can be as defensive or insulting or even delusional/in denial about it as they want but I just don't see the point. It isn't going to change the reality of the situation. I think the stigma attached is dumb, never got it really, but I won't feign ignorance at its existence just because I don't like it.


I could be very wrong but judging from some of the responses I get the feeling some saw my original post and took it as me saying that being involved with a sex worker isn't as cool or as good as being with other women. Not what I meant at all. It certainly comes with its own set of potential issues but that doesn't make sex workers a worse partner because of it. A guy can be with a sex worker and be happier with her than he would be with any other woman with any other job. Rambling but just didn't want to be misunderstood.

All I meant was if your'e not comfortable with yourself it probably won't work with a girl in this line of work > As I agree with you- You need to be extremely comfortable. If you aren't willing to sacrifice certain things pertaining to this job then don't date a camgirl. I'll give an example: My boyfriend is not okay with me filming with other men (even if it's professional and done well) I understand and get where he is coming from and of course I respect his boundaries and would not do something that made him SO uncomfortable. As long as you talk about your'e issues and don't hold any concerns back and the girl is okay with it then fine. Every person has a limit and this should be discussed before entering a relationship with someone in sex work. Now if he said "I want you to quit your'e job I don't like what you do" we wouldn't be dating. Most likely a girls work will not affect your'e job unless you are in the public eye, politician or something like that (maybe a police officer, etc) but if you think your'e job is at stake again don't date a sex worker. With any relationship communication is key and as long as your'e open to this job and what it entails dating someone in this field won't be an issue.

 

[CrazyCatLady]

I'm really confused at the disagreements and facepalms to @Mikey_P's posts above. These are some points that cam models themselves make from time to time (increased exposure for cam girls = higher stalking likelihood than others, friends/family finding out, judgement, etc) but since it's a guy that sometimes says things you don't like, you "downvote" his posts?

Just weird.

If I had to guess I think it's because it's easy to see a model say it and say "Oh it's nice to have someone understand what I go through".

I think when a man says it... it seems more like that treatment of us....the judgements...the hypocrisy is okay and normal.

I don't think that's what Mikey is saying. I think he understands that it's BS and hypocrisy by society as a whole but sometimes as camgirls we get so much of it that we become overly sensitive to any man bringing it up...even if just pointing out facts.

Just my take on it...it know even myself that I can get this way at times.

 

[CrazyCatLady]

All I meant was if your'e not comfortable with yourself it probably won't work with a girl in this line of work > As I agree with you- You need to be extremely comfortable. If you aren't willing to sacrifice certain things pertaining to this job then don't date a camgirl. I'll give an example: My boyfriend is not okay with me filming with other men (even if it's professional and done well) I understand and get where he is coming from and of course I respect his boundaries and would not do something that made him SO uncomfortable. As long as you talk about your'e issues and don't hold any concerns back and the girl is okay with it then fine. Every person has a limit and this should be discussed before entering a relationship with someone in sex work. Now if he said "I want you to quit your'e job I don't like what you do" we wouldn't be dating. Most likely a girls work will not affect your'e job unless you are in the public eye, politician or something like that (maybe a police officer, etc) but if you think your'e job is at stake again don't date a sex worker. With any relationship communication is key and as long as your'e open to this job and what it entails dating someone in this field won't be an issue.

I think it's the "comfortable with yourself" that is the confusion. Perhaps saying "comfortable with a more open relationship" would be more understood.

 

[Mikey_P]

I'm really confused at the disagreements and facepalms to @Mikey_P's posts above. These are some points that cam models themselves make from time to time (increased exposure for cam girls = higher stalking likelihood than others, friends/family finding out, judgement, etc) but since it's a guy that sometimes says things you don't like, you "downvote" his posts?

Just weird.

My biggest mistake is being a non-sycophantic member saying these things. The unwritten rules of ingroups and outgroups-- Only models get to speak worrisome 'truths'.

 

[DazzlingErika]

we do like some members...it s mostly up to you guys..

On the other hand..a relationship with a camgirl isn't much more different from a regular one...someone, even if she s not camming, can fall in love with someone she met at the subway.for example..it happens, life is like that..

..If you think she s worth it, and by what you said she is genuinely not interested in your money, I think you should just look at it like at any other job, trust her ( after all that s what relationships are about) think that there s always someone smarter/more handsome than you- because there sure is and she could meet him anywhere not only on the site - but that chemistry doesn't always exist so you re still in advantage

 

[EllaGray]

I get what you are going through with regards to wanting her to yourself etc and feeling jealous when she works, however, consider this, camming is by and large acting. You play a part. People who work on stage and screen kiss others all time, its just an act. As camgirls, we don't even really do that, its just us and our dildos by ourselves for the most part.

It might take a while to get used to, but I would also say, don't make your judgments based on how society feels about sex work. Sex work is real. legit work just like any other form of work. I know when people fall in love with a sex worker they have a tendency to go "you have so much potential, you could be doing so much more" and even if this is never articulated, you might feel this way deep down. Just look at it as a job that is just as good as any other, allows her to be her own person and you should be ok.

 

[RaidRaptor]

OP you sound like a guy who is a fairly long experienced customer who is very "eyes-open" to the world of modelling in the sense that you've likely been emotionally stung before, or at least are privy to it happening - and have landed yourself in a situation now where you're extremely vulnerable to that happening to you. Your statement about the job description entailing manipulation and money grabbing is a feeling that a lot of people in our position get from time to time but I think its really important to remember that every model is different and every interaction for them is different, especially with regulars or people they know or care for like yourself.

Approaching this from an "I'm dating a sex-worker" perspective you need to let her convince you that your relationship is real and you are not a customer to her, if you cannot do that then that is all you will ever be because regardless of how she actually feels about you you will only ever see it as salesmanship. Talk to her about her job, listen to what she says about what she does and how she feels about it. Learn intimately the details of her work and if there are specific things that make you uncomfortable, talk it out with her. You'll find that she treats it like anyone treats a job, some parts are fun, some are not, good days, bad days, today someone was an asshole, today someone was super nice to her, it's pretty normal stuff.

Approaching this from a basic relationship standpoint, you have a lot of trust issues that you need to look at really closely, sex workers are just workers and if her job, whatever it may be, is more important to you than the emotional connection you have as people and lovers then you really need to think about where you are in your own head.

Theres a lot of bitterness and shit slinging in this thred and the cusp of it seems to be based around the assumption that sex workers are in some way inherently different people and belong within their own grouping. Whether you believe that or not does not change the fact that what someone does should never be more important than who they are, which ring true x1000 more if you're dating them.

tl;dr you are the problem here OP, not her job. Trust your girlfriend and every time you wake up remember how lucky you are because no matter how bitter you are now about her work you'll regret it when she's still doing it and she's single because she's done with your shit.

 

[Miss_Pixie]

Hm... I agree with some of the ladies. It takes a type of guy, I always liked caming naked and stuff like that, met a bf like that, once we were together he didn't "allow" me to cam. Didn't workout, now I met this guy, super open, understanding and supportive, it needs a guy who is not selfish, they exist. And they can trust you, and you trust them, and by trust, you need a new whole level of that.

I'm happy! and drama free!

So, yeah... Just try dude, try hard, give it your best if you really love her, anybody can do it, it's just matter of self-understanding, I would advise some counseling and meditation, it's not gonna be from one day to another, try to rationalize it, when you get jelly feelings, just focus on them, appreciate them and try to understand it.

So, what are you afraid of?
Of having the best relationship ever? Don't sabotage yourself.

My 2 cents.

But well, if you can't in the end, would you regret the precious memories you had with her?

 

[mindyxlush]

Dude. You're going to have a really hard time if you think this is the case. I hate to break it to you but most of us genuinely DO LIKE members who visit our rooms frequently. For most of us it isn't manipulation. We like hanging out in our camrooms, we like our people. We provide a service for money so legit don't get how you think it's manipulation. But anyways point being if you convince your self she doesn't actually like her members you're gonna have a hard time.

TO be clear liking a member doesn't mean you want to go and shag them. I like all my regs. A lot. (otherwise I would have banned them MWAHAHA!) But I am probably not going to go shag them (sorry fellas). I mean some of them are defs shag worthy, but my relationship with my GF is more important. Also. Work boundaries.

On that note my GF and I had a conversation about goofy ass jealous people. She said it was easy for her to see me to do this job because it's essentially just a really rad job. But she thinks of me as a cupcake. Everyone looks at me in the bakery counter and wants me, but she's the only one who gets to eat me. We're terrible people obvi haha. But here's the thing. If your problem is dudes staring at her or treating her like shit - rude awakening ... EVERY job she has that will happen. I worked as a waitress for five minutes, also as a nutrition weight loss consultant, also in retail as a teenager. ALL of those vanilla jobs someone treated me like shit (and I had to suck it up because there was no ban button). I can't count the number of creepy dudes I had in my office flirting at me while I was trying to keep it professional and talk about their nutrition. Being a waitress was the worst because just about every guy looked at me like I was cake, treated me like shit, and I had to put up with it and wasn't compensated in any way. Not to mention in ALL of those jobs I was groped. SO you say that she only has to work until she moves in with you. COol. But will she ever leave the house? Will she get dude friends? because dude. she probably will so get your jealousy under control. If you can't draw the boundary between a job and personal will you be able to draw a distinction between her best platonic guy friend and someone she wants to shag?

Also. so she moves in with you. Quits working. HOw is she going to have her own financial stability? Without ensuring her financial stability you will essentially force her to become completely reliant on you financially. What if she wants to leave? What if you want her to leave? I am all for being a stay at home pretty girlfriend. 100% support. But it would be kind of irresponsible of both of you to not have a plan if things go wrong.

This is the holy grail of responses.
In my experience, my boyfriend is horribly jealous (not easy to manage) HOWEVER, my income from camming has been the only source for the year we've been exclusively dating. That being said, I continue to cam under the ongoing premise that it is a job just like any other and I've done it for even longer than we've been dating. I love him and attempt to explain that I keep business and personal life separate, but in the same vein, with enough jealousy within a relationship, it never is easy, and generally a lot of unnecessary stress revolves around the situation.

From a model's perspective, it's generally common to have to manage a lot of very, very unwarranted fears (while in such a relationship) though I can understand the root of them.

In personal suggestion, I'd say take plenty of time working on personal interests/hobbies and self-focus, because in many jealousy-based circumstances, this is the area of neglect. Work on feeling sufficient on your own (though still invested in the relationship, if that makes sense.)
I assure you, this will help immensely. It's a rocky ride, but something's gotta give.

 

[svlphur]

There are way too many in-depth posts to dig through and check to see if a few points were made - but as someone who's been doing "this" line of work for 4 years on and off at the whim of a jealous partner (former, now lol), I think our biggest headbutting fights came from a confusion of boundaries-

1. Sit down with each other and set a schedule - or ask her for hers? Not having defined boundaries of when you can expect her to be online and when she "comes home from work" at the end of her shift can cause a huge amount of missed opportunities (date-nights suddenly being interrupted by impromptu private cam shows would agitate me, and I'm very accommodating in the jealousy department). Don't hold her to the schedule like a boss, but if you know when she's working and when she's not working, you'll save yourselves a lot of communication mishaps.

2. If you have a problem with her doing specific kinds of shows, dictate that to her. In all fairness to some of the more stubborn people in the world (in which I'm referring to myself lol!) when someone tells me what I can and cannot do, I do the opposite - but when I was approached about leaving MGF years ago because my fiance at the time didn't like that it was 1 on 1 specifically (building rapport and personal relationships with clients as is a bit more fluid on that platform). I know lots of girls that don't do privates, only do public chat shows, and still make amazing money.

3. I know MFC is very hardcore & stickler-like about men being on cam, but have you ever thought about maybe making content with her? It's a good way to "assert your masculinity" and make your presence known in a non-threatening manner for potential customers, but also allows you two to have a bit of a bonding experience if it's something you're down for- just a thought!

4. You mentioned she "wants out"; have you probed at all with her if it's that she wants out now because it's causing issues between you two, or that like most people, she isn't fussy with her job all of the time but likes that it pays the bills? Don't superimpose your own thoughts or supply your bias in a conversation with her about it, really figure it out - it's perhaps something that she really doesn't like, and you might be picking up on that "air" from her and subconsciously perceiving it as her being vulnerable, and thus these people are unintentionally threatening feeling because you are responding to non-verbal distress from her discomfort.

And mindyxlush is 1000% right as far as needing to nip the real underlying issue in the bud before it continues to give you trouble in life. I have witnessed how distressing jealousy is for a partner who is having "irrational" jealousy issues with this line of work, even after i quit last- and although it wasn't fair to me for him to treat me like rubbish because he was upset with himself for being angry at me for not bending to his will earlier, I know that the most painful thing was how torn he was over being angry at himself for just not being able to let it go. Not defending it, I don't like it or support it, I just understand that it's actually a very big hurdle to get over- but if it's meant to be, it will - if it's not, c'est la vie! The sooner you can open the dialogue about your anxiety in a way that encourages change instead of bickering, the better.

 

[EspiKvlt]

I just find the "lying to family" thing and that being some sex worker only thing REALLY interesting, because:

My entire family knows what I do. So does my SO's entire family.

Guess who has to lie, though? I do, to protect him. He dropped out of college three years ago and I still have to lie when we visit his family and act like he hasn't.

I don't know how off-topic this is, but usually when I see someone claim that something is sex work specific, it isn't.

 

[Rgliggins]

If your date cam girls by meet at her room, my advice is dont ever date her even in real. They work for money and took your money as well. So i can said dont get fucked up. Its different case with if you introduce a girl to be a cam girl, this mean you know her before she being cam girl. So no reason for jealousy.
By meet the girl at her room and gonna date with her, you will get fucked up. Think twice. They will say " i love you" to you and they will the same thing to other guys. When you saying her to stop work as caming girls, it wouldnt be fair if you dont give something to her. Lets say give her money for monthly living cost every month. But i ever give that offer to one cam girl, she just want get my money and dont wont to stop her work. Let say she is not famous and get $2000 /month. I said i give you $4000/month and stop work as a cam girl and she said yes !!!. The fact after i gave her money then she never stop...lol, money is not a problem but when you make a dating with someone who cant keep promise and just want to take money from lot of people, just stop it. Dont waste your time or you will get fucked up by that girl.

 

[Pandora Luxe]

Dating a camgirl is really not for everyone. I have been with my partner for over 4 years. I have worked as a sex blogger, sex toy review, sexting operator, and now a cam girl in the span of time we have been together. Before I chose to go down any of those paths, I always sat him down for a heart to heart conversation and discussed the details of what I would be doing as I see my relationship as a partnership, both people have a say and deserve to be heard. He has been fine through it all and I love him for that. He did struggle a bit when I was a sexting operator because my job was to literally look at dick pics all day and tell men I how I wanted to have sex with them. Having an open line of commmunication is what is important here. He told me he didn't like that as he felt it was too personal and that I was making nearly what I should be. I was paid $0.05 a text with a minimum of 1000 a month to be paid. I explained to him that if I quit, I would need another stay at home job and wanted to get into being a Camgirl. While he was hesitant at first, we discussed the rules and it has been fine from there. The rules are simple. He isn't in the room while I cam (Physically or Virtually), After each show he must ask how it went and if I need any support or aftercare (like after a hard show, physically or mentally), That I will let people know that I am taken if they ask and will not pretend to be single, and that if either of us has a problem, we go straight to the other person about it. Every time I want to try something new, I run it past him first so he knows what I'm doing. Has there been times he has been jealous? Hell yeah! Has there been times I've been too tired from camming to give him the attention he wants? You bet! But he know this is a job, he knows that I need to work from home due to disablilities, and he knows I love him. What helped him accept what I do most was when I got him involved in it. When I showed him what I do off cam (Twitter, notes on regulars,Snapchat, video planning, photo taking, etc.), he understood the job part better because it wasn't just getting naked and masturbating on cam anymore.