Experimenting with the unfamiliar

[Ambers Troll]

Earlier I found myself in a situation with a model where we got our fetishes mixed up. We liked each other well enough to tip/ tease, but we were both playing a different game.
I could see which fetish she was playing at so decided to have a go at it... I just couldn't get it.

This is the reason for this thread.... a Q and A (question and answer) for those wanting to try something different.

 

[Ambers Troll]

My question is on bratty behaviour, where you tip for something generously and it is denied. Is it always denied? ... At what point is it rewarded, what kind of feeling does the brat require to reward?
The frustration of that, do you as the submissive/ worshiper, show it, hide it?

Finally what is the ultimate pay off for one or both?

 

[Ann_Sulu]

With brats it can kinda be anything really. Brat/Princess types tend to want whatever they feel at that moment. I'd assume that generally most brats on camsites will eventually reward knowing that the guy likely won't tip again if they don't. Sounds more specifically like tease and denial or perhaps findom.

I sorta do this with some members who I know will put up with it (in other words ones I know well). For me it's about getting the other person really frustrated through teasing to build up to the reward as you put it. Something similar I'll do is edging for those willing to stick it in for a much longer joi session.

I guess you could say in both cases the build up makes the entire experience more intense for those into it on both sides.

 

[ExcellaExe]

I'm a brat, but I only brat like Ann_Sulu, with someone I know likes the fetish or who I know enjoys the brat/punishment/reward style. I'm more into the brat build someone up side of it, where someone tells me to do something and I won't do it right away, I'll wait until they start to get frustrated, and then right when I can tell they're about to get angry I'll follow through--and if it's their first time or if they're doing a great job, I'll often include something a bit more, like a longer tease with more skin or slightly longer contact, etc. Brat sessions often last longer than my other stuff, because it's a bit of a dance where both people need to be into it and know that it's happening.

It's a deny, tease, reward system that can be pretty satisfying for those that become invested in a session.

 

[Ambers Troll]

Thanks to both of you. I think my response to frustration was not very readable and quite subtle, I kept diffusing it before any reward.
I've had such an issue with brats IRL, I always seem to find them, enough so to put me off dating.

Do Brats feel bad for the frustration they cause; up until the reward, or is that giving in to their own desire to be selfish/ entitled/ entertained too liberating to feel bad about it?

 

[ExcellaExe]

Thanks to both of you. I think my response to frustration was not very readable and quite subtle, I kept diffusing it before any reward.
I've had such an issue with brats IRL, I always seem to find them, enough so to put me off dating.

Do Brats feel bad for the frustration they cause; up until the reward, or is that giving in to their own desire to be selfish/ entitled too liberating to feel bad about it?

For me, being a brat only applies to the role/scene I'm doing. 9/10 it doesn't bleed over into my day to day life--even in relationships I'll just typically be my normal vanilla self in every day interactions. In fact, most brats I know irl also don't tend to mouth off much outside of the bedroom... huh... hadn't thought of that. But, everyone's kink is different. So, as long as both people are on the same page in the moment, I don't feel bad because my partners know what to expect (barring saying they're not down for it anymore, of course).

Unless I'm just a bit too tipsy and misread this whole thread in which case, ignore me. I thought we were talking brat in the BDSM sense.

 

[Ambers Troll]

For me, being a brat only applies to the role/scene I'm doing. 9/10 it doesn't bleed over into my day to day life--even in relationships I'll just typically be my normal vanilla self in every day interactions. In fact, most brats I know irl also don't tend to mouth off much outside of the bedroom... huh... hadn't thought of that. But, everyone's kink is different. So, as long as both people are on the same page in the moment, I don't feel bad because my partners know what to expect (barring saying they're not down for it anymore, of course).

Unless I'm just a bit too tipsy and misread this whole thread in which case, ignore me. I thought we were talking brat in the BDSM sense.

I was referring to BDSM and models tend to play a role rather than actually be that role so there are limits to extending any experiences into real life situations. As a member I tend to chase my desired fetish very rarely, with models I prefer something different.

My question was really about what inspires the reward. Does the brat feel that the sub/ worshiper will stop those good feelings if the brat denies them, or is it that the brat feels that the sub/worshiper will get the right level of excitement from the reward?

Do Brats feel bad for the frustration they cause; up until the reward, or is it that giving in to their own desire to be selfish/ entitled/ entertained is too liberating to feel bad about it?

I think even for those playing a role, they may get a sense for which way this swings, hence the question.

 

[Ann_Sulu]

Granted everyone's different, so don't assume my answer will match every other model who does it, but...I tend to be more of a bratty/princessy (I'm using both terms here as they tend to be used interchangeably anyway though brat is typically the sub version) type irl than I am online. I generally reserve that attitude for people I most enjoy being around. If I'm acting particularly snotty (but in a friendly way) to a member in my chat, chances are that member has known me for a very long time, and we've built a sort of bond with one another. It's my weird lil way of being comfortable with people. Both online and offline I'll usually start off pretty reserved and rather no-nonsense with anyone and everyone before I get to know them, then once I know what kind of person they are or what the member is after I will be more amiable. A lot of the time I use trolls who off and on appear saying stupid stuff to smart of at them to test how a member acts when I'm being a bit more "sassy" so to speak. If the member reacts by insisting I ban the troll or something of the sort, I will likely not act that way toward him (for some it seems to stress them out, and I get how after a work day full of bs one might not want more), but if he likes how I reacted I may play it up a bit more around him, but preferably the friendlier version.

Now in a specifically BDSM sense...I like it in a playful pressure building sense. The reward is given when one or both parties simply feel they can't hold back any longer. The reward for my kind is the appreciation of the challenge and intensity of it at the end when finally getting You asked if we feel bad about it. I only ever feel bad in social situations if the person isn't in the mood to deal with me being a playful turd. In a BDSM sense....fucking never. I generally for my own tastes sake only get with folks who do this too. I love mental power play and edging. I feel it makes both conversational and sexual aspects a lot more intense, intimate and enjoyable.

Also (again maybe just me) but if I do it to someone, it actually isn't about being entitled in so much as seeing what kind of person they are. Online in paid chat it's mostly entertainment and not much else. Like I said there's really little challenge online as either the person shows they like it or don't. Offline it's about seeing how they handle difficult people. I make it obvious that I'm not actually that illogical, but will put on an obvious act that I am and see how they deal with me. It's sort of like participating in a fun debate (which I also love doing). It's my way of asking how logical, and together they are along with seeing if they have a sense of humor or take things too seriously.

 

[Ambers Troll]

Thanks for all the info @Ann_Sulu and @Excella_4Fun it will take a while to get it all integrated into my experience of brats and to form a more lucid picture in my mind.

The wordplay and testing of the other person, especially for things such as humour makes sense. I take things way too seriously, and I know it. Things such as humiliation also sit bad with me, and I judge/ assess people easily. I do like delayed gratification/ edging, and also teasing (verbal or physical).
As a cam experience I do enjoy the chat part of being with a brat, the reward part is always too little, too late, by then I usually resent them, leaving only fantasies of revenge. Transfer this to real life experiences and it can be very challenging.

In a very general sense it feels very much like brat behaviour is a way to test the character of the other person, in a similar way that emotional expression is tested by pain (something I understand far better). In this sense playing such games; especially in the cam world, seems like a worthy thing to keep experimenting with even if most of the time I wonder what is wrong with you people.