Fear of demanding

[MarieElise]

Yes, I understand what you're talking about.
I may have chosen the wrong words for describing my problem. I think I really did because so few people got what I actually meant.

Ignore, ban and report (optionally) are practical recommendations on the topic "how to deal with rude and abusive members". But the point was not that I don't know how to solve the problem technically but that I don't know how to solve the problem mentally.
I can click all those buttons to get rid of a trashy user during my stream. But I can't find a button in my head to get rid of an unpleasant experience easily and quickly. And all the previous unpleasant experiences just add to the whole picture so I try to avoid everything that may turn into an unpleasant experience as much as I can while fearing it because I know I won't be able to get it out of my head afterwards.

Are there a lot of other situations in life which lead you to feel these ways, or is it just specific to this one camming situation/ possible situation?
For me there were many situations, and getting diagnosed with depression, anxiety and OCD, then subsequently getting treatment (and adhering to it), is what worked to get me through it. However, as I said, I was having that similar response to more than just camming situations, I was having it towards pretty much everything across the board, and it was getting worse with age (untreated). What you are describing does sound like anxiety though.

 

[Beawaresweety]

Are there a lot of other situations in life which lead you to feel these ways, or is it just specific to this one camming situation/ possible situation?

Nope, there are no other current situations in my life which lead me to feel these ways. I'm a pretty happy person. Can't complain.
I've got an OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) but I'm having it for a really long time so I'm kinda used to it. Though, it definitely isn't helping in this kind of situations.

 

[MarieElise]

Nope, there are no other current situations in my life which lead me to feel these ways. I'm a pretty happy person. Can't complain.
I've got an OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) but I'm having it for a really long time so I'm kinda used to it. Though, it definitely isn't helping in this kind of situations.

Good, I am glad to hear that it is not across the board. Yes, the disorder might be part of making the situation worse/ amplifying it/ building upon it. OCD is a real difficult one to deal with. I am glad overall that you are happy though. You are not alone in those specific struggles.

 

[Beawaresweety]

For me there were many situations, and getting diagnosed with depression, anxiety and OCD, then subsequently getting treatment (and adhering to it), is what worked to get me through it. However, as I said, I was having that similar response to more than just camming situations, I was having it towards pretty much everything across the board, and it was getting worse with age (untreated). What you are describing does sound like anxiety though.

Oh, it seems like you've added it to the post while I was replying.
so we're OCD buddies, yay.
Thanks for your kindness and support

 

[Deleted member 37064]

Yes, I understand what you're talking about.
I may have chosen the wrong words for describing my problem. I think I really did because so few people got what I actually meant.

Ignore, ban and report (optionally) are practical recommendations on the topic "how to deal with rude and abusive members". But the point was not that I don't know how to solve the problem technically but that I don't know how to solve the problem mentally.
I can click all those buttons to get rid of a trashy user during my stream. But I can't find a button in my head to get rid of an unpleasant experience easily and quickly. And all the previous unpleasant experiences just add to the whole picture so I try to avoid everything that may turn into an unpleasant experience as much as I can while fearing it because I know I won't be able to get it out of my head afterwards.

I picked up on the emotional/psychological aspect of it on your first post. But, I think in trying to discuss it from an analytical black/white approach may have veered it away from that a little. I know you've stated in later posts that it's mostly camming that is affected, and not the rest of your life. Aside from an OCD complex that is.

Do you think part of it might be related to financial aspects? meaning you know this is related to income and you're looking at it as negative reviews impact your bottom line significantly and you're concerned about how that may have some issues in the future?

 

[Beawaresweety]

Do you think part of it might be related to financial aspects? meaning you know this is related to income and you're looking at it as negative reviews impact your bottom line significantly and you're concerned about how that may have some issues in the future?

Well, I surely care about my income but demanding and cheap users aren't my target audience anyway. I lose nothing if I lose them because they won't ever be helpful in the terms of income. And their "reviews" and ratings are mostly pointless because people that help me to make my bank don't look at this satisfaction score (mine is pretty high now, though, 99%). They look at their personal experience with me and tend to believe it rather than a random guy who may be an idiot.
I don't know, maybe it would affect my earnings if I had a low satisfaction score but maybe it wouldn't.
So I can't say it may be related so blatantly.
But it may be related on a deeper level.
> I had an unpleasant experience
> I obsess over it and can't get my shit together
> I can't stream for any longer today or even for one extra day

And it certainly doesn't help to improve my earnings if I have to log off and to stay off for one unplanned day to recharge and start feeling good about myself again.

I usually get tired really fast even when everything is just perfect and I need a lot of time to mentally rejuvenate.

 

[DoD404]

just passing-by (as a viewer).
Never 'Ignore' as being a model, else you won't see what they would post to others
<that's all I had to say... in the beginning.. xd>

But maybe be faster in banning when you start to argue or feel bad.
You'll avoid lot of thumbs down, OK, but also in your case, you'll make a big economy of your own energy.

ensure *before* the show that they tried to read your bio (or tell they did), display them well with notices in your chat using capital letters in your welcome message... You'll feel much better to impose your rules and will not have to do it so often.
All that will not magically make disappear this understandable fear but your overall experience would become lightly better, balancing that to make it easier.

About c2c, I propose it most of time to models I visit. That's not by exhibitionism, not only... I find that this way is more opened and she can exactly evaluate the effect of her show (so... it's my main way to 'drive' her ^^). I figure principally that it is reassuring for her, knowing that there are so many weirdos around.

Then, you can feel badly alone in a 'pvt based' room to face these situations.
Can't you find a "confessor" among your oldest regulars to help you to get your distances with this fear ?
(I don't say specially a "mod", but this can be a mod's role to hug you sometime )

 

[Beawaresweety]

Can't you find a "confessor" among your oldest regulars to help you to get your distances with this fear ?
(I don't say specially a "mod", but this can be a mod's role to hug you sometime )

Thank you a lot for your post!
No, I don't have a mod.
No, I wouldn't use any of my regulars as confessor or whatever.
I don't try to build up this level of connection with people.
I'm all in for maintaining some level of personal connection in a private show so we get comfortable with each other.
But not outside of it.
I don't believe that anyone could genuinely care about me and that's totally fine. People come to have fun, I come to have fun AND make some money.
Not like anyone of them would be interested in my problems and fears. Nor would I be interested if I were my regular.
I've tried to share some details of my life or/and work routine a few times with some of my "old" members. The more I shared, the less they felt like they have to pay any longer because we're "almost" friends.

 

[SaffronBurke]

I feel really bad for wasting people's money and time even if they're being dicks.

They're wasting their own time and money by being idiots. That's their problem, not yours.