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Get to know your bartenders and servers

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Oct 15, 2011
Not that you'll score free stuff, but that when you show up, they know what you want. And don't be an asshole.


Was leaving my regular bar the other night. It was right at shift change. Thanked the bartender and on my out, two servers were near the entrance. I said to them "have a great night" then apropos of nothing one told me that they always appreciated when I came in. I'm just a regular dude, but I take the time to know and call them by name.

After the bar, went to one of my favorite brew pub/eateries. Sat at the bar and before I could order the bartender tells me I need to try this before I order a beer. She was spot on. She knows what I like. And I maybe go in there twice a month. But she knows me and what I like in a beer. And again, apropos of nothing, she says "We always like it when you come in".

Went to my bar again earlier tonight. I never have to order, all the bartenders know what I want (yeah, maybe I have a problem). Bartender brings me a beer and said "this one is on Steve" who is another bartender that was there on his night off. OK, maybe sometimes you get free stuff, but just being a decent human being will get you far.

Why am I sharing this on a cam-centric site? Because the models you are interacting with are people, not robots. Treat them as such. Do I treat every bartender/server the same? Hell no. But I got to know every one of them before I unleashed the snark and what they may be comfortable with. Some I can joke with, some are all business.

The main takeaway from this is: Don't be an asshole.


Cam Model
Aug 11, 2017
Coming from someone who was a bartender for about seven years, yes to all of that. My memory is kind of shit in some aspects, but when it came to drinks and faces, I’d almost always remember regulars or repeat customers drinks. The good and the bad. If someone was cool people and tipped at least something, I’d have their drink to them as soon as they sat down at the bar and it’d be a strong one at that. For the people who were assholes, acted entitled, didn’t tip, yeah they’d have to wait and they would also get short poured. I was sort of a bitch when I would bartend (and luckily always worked at bars where I could get away with it) and would normally call out asshole-ish behavior, though. That usually remedied it or they would go to someone else for their drink. Win/win.

I also tend to relate a lot of my bartending experiences to camming. Basically, when I was still actively camming, I’d think of my chat room as my bar. There’s your regulars, the freeloaders (or in a bar, the people who hang around, buy the bare minimum and try to weasel drinks out of others), and the randoms who stop in, but are still good people. I’d treat them essentially the same way I would treat customers at my bar. Thankfully, because of that my regulars were really cool and laid back and I also got very few trolls and when I did they disappeared pretty fast because from years of dealing with dumb, drunk assholes I can easily deal with dumb internet trolls.

Camming and bartending are very similar in that your personality (and hard work and some luck) is what makes you money.
May 11, 2017
Terra Firma
Agreed on this. It's been a while since I've gone to a bar. But, I always take the time to give a greeting to the bartender, or waitress if I'm at a table. If it's busy for them, I'm brief and to the point while treating them well. If I'm paying per drink, I usually give a good tip. If it's a tab, I give my usual base percentage tip and then go up depending on different factors such as personality and quality of service. The last bar I frequented on a semi-regular basis, all the bartenders knew me, as did much of the wait staff. Even the owners. All because of how I interacted with the staff, and left a positive image. Even if problems came up, being sensible, reasonable and understanding goes a long ways.

This is how I am in restaurants as well. Those I do frequent, the staff that has seen me on a regular basis knows I pretty much order the same thing. So, most times, they'll get the order going when they see me walk in. I always joked around saying I was going to change it up on them, and they always called my bluff. ;)

Great similarities between camming and bartenders &/or food service industry. Get to know them, and let them get to know you to help make for the best experience. It's all in treating people well and with respect.


Cam Model
Oct 30, 2018
New Orleans, LA
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I don't know you, but I love you... LOL
I think I have survived as a service industry lifer for having this super power, and it has helped me quickly retain some kickass regulars for comporting myself in exactly the same way. Service industry workers, if they choose to move on, go on to be great medical professionals and sex workers, because of this advantage. LOL!
Oct 15, 2011
As an aside and possibly related, IF you have a bar or place that is your bar/place, don't take your date or SO there. Make and create your own memories. Then if things sour, you still have your place.

Sure, it's tempting to take someone to take someone where you are comfortable and kinda a big deal in that small world, but there are two possible outcomes and neither one is good in the long run.

1. Since you know everyone there, your date/SO feels left out.

2. They go with the flow and get ingrained with the people your place. Then things go bad and you break up, but they still want to hang out at that place. Then it's just awkwardness all around.

OK, there is actually a third option that has a happy ending.

3. Y'all stay together for 50 years and this is now your place as a couple.

The first two are much more likely.

Just some shit I think about.
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