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Help...I think I've been scammed by a model

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PunkInDrublic said:
Weird. This is like the exact opposite of how I see it. American/British models are known for being super nice and sweet but Romanians are known for being bitchy/more real. Dudes are always bitching about Romanian models being too honest/blun

Lol I don't know then! Maybe Uk/American girls just happen to like you!
 
Isabella_deL said:
Maybe Uk/American girls just happen to like you!
lol doubtful just interesting seeing how different things are viewed by people in different situations.
 
PunkInDrublic said:
Isabella_deL said:
Maybe particular models that you spend time with that's the case, it's not true for all, just like not every "western" woman is really blunt/honest to the point of seeming rude. This isn't an area I really have loads of knowledge in, but from reading posts on this and other forums, hearing the things members say about why they do and don't visit Romanian girls or girls from similar areas, and from knowing a fair amount of women from that culture it definitely does seem that there are culture differences and different attitudes towards both men and women. I have heard many men complaining about American/British models basically because we're ego killing bitches, and how Romanian models will be nice and sweet and nurture the fragile male ego. Though I don't think this is true for all models, seeing as this sort of thing keeps coming up there must be some truth to it.
Weird. This is like the exact opposite of how I see it. American/British models are known for being super nice and sweet but Romanians are known for being bitchy/more real. Dudes are always bitching about Romanian models being too honest/blunt.
Haha, I could also defend this viewpoint, argumenting that I like the real aditude from the Rommies and find the kindness/sweetness of the US/UK models just a professional aspect of their job.

For sure I fit into Isabella's category "certain types of men adore them" and I fully understand that my opinion is based on the male libido combined with prejudices, however when I try to analyse, it's close to Isabella's observation.
 
RedHerby said:
PunkInDrublic said:
Isabella_deL said:
Maybe particular models that you spend time with that's the case, it's not true for all, just like not every "western" woman is really blunt/honest to the point of seeming rude. This isn't an area I really have loads of knowledge in, but from reading posts on this and other forums, hearing the things members say about why they do and don't visit Romanian girls or girls from similar areas, and from knowing a fair amount of women from that culture it definitely does seem that there are culture differences and different attitudes towards both men and women. I have heard many men complaining about American/British models basically because we're ego killing bitches, and how Romanian models will be nice and sweet and nurture the fragile male ego. Though I don't think this is true for all models, seeing as this sort of thing keeps coming up there must be some truth to it.
Weird. This is like the exact opposite of how I see it. American/British models are known for being super nice and sweet but Romanians are known for being bitchy/more real. Dudes are always bitching about Romanian models being too honest/blunt.
Haha, I could also defend this viewpoint, argumenting that I like the real aditude from the Rommies and find the kindness/sweetness of the US/UK models just a professional aspect of their job.

For sure I fit into Isabella's category "certain types of men adore them" and I fully understand that my opinion is based on the male libido combined with prejudices, however when I try to analyse, it's close to Isabella's observation.

Ill second Isabellas take on it. I dated a guy from Romania who was born and raised there. He would often say the differences between the two. There he said the girls are more "traditional" towards the men as a whole. How they treat them and they are more subservient usually. American women were more independent and expected to be treated as an equal usually. There were exceptions of course, but very different as a whole culturally.
 
Teagan_Chase said:
Ill second Isabellas take on it. I dated a guy from Romania who was born and raised there. He would often say the differences between the two. There he said the girls are more "traditional" towards the men as a whole. How they treat them and they are more subservient usually. American women were more independent and expected to be treated as an equal usually. There were exceptions of course, but very different as a whole culturally.
He was homesick a lot ?

So much exceptions when it's about an individual. But generally speaking and narrowing it down to the business we are talking about in this forum, it looks like that Romanian studio workers are more working from that tradition and that Romanian home workers have a more modern approach.

But there are limits, Going Dutch is a step to far when going out with a Romanian lady, even if they say they are modern :)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Going_Dutch
 
That really sucks. I've been fortunate and have not had any issues like you've been through. The thing I learned the hard way is, lead with your head, not with your heart. That a lesson I learned the hard way. I try to keep fantasy and reality separate. I did however drop my deferences with one model and ended up having some pretty strong feelings for her. When I first realized I was loosing control of the fantasy and developing feelings I just quit visiting her for a while. After a while I though to myself that I was being pretty stupid and started going to her chat room again. I once again let my heart lead and the rational part of my brain was silenced by the rush of emotions. It was not as easy to pull myself out of the situation this time. It took some time to work through things in my head and try to figure out how I let my feelings get the best of me. When I snapped myself back to reality it truly felt like a broken heart. I had all the same symptoms of a real broken relationship. I'd go a couple weeks without seeing her and I really missed her. I still haven't quit her completely but my stay in private is much shorter. I've never told her about this issue because I believe it was all in my head. Other than being a beautiful and sexy model with the most amazing eyes and being sweet and friendly girl, she did nothing to push me into anything and I don't want to risk making her feel bad. I know my tips and what I pay in private is not making her extremely rich but I also know it's not fair for me to take that away from her when the whole problem was me. I was just lucky she wasn't a scammer because there was a period of time in which I would have given her anything she asked for.

Like others have stated, the webcam sites are not dating sites. Keep the fantasy fun and exciting but understand that there is virtually no way you will ever meet her in real life and have her fall madly in love with you.

One final point I want to make to the guys who visit these sites. Don't be scared off by the stories of scammers. A vast majority of the girls are amazing and they are working to make an honest living like everyone else. Don't let a couple of bad ones hurt the good ones.

Does any of this make sense? I just realized this is the first time I've told anybody about what happened. This isn't a story you share with friends and family. Anyway guys, have fun with it, treat the girl with respect, tip her nicely and happy fappin. or is it phappin
 
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theone said:
Does any of this make sense? I just realized this is the first time I've told anybody about what happened. This isn't a story you share with friends and family. Anyway guys, have fun with it, treat the girl with respect, tip her nicely and happy fappin. or is it phappin

:twocents-02cents:
Unfortunately that's what torments our mind so much while we go through this. We have nobody to talk to about this. It is not a topic you can bring up to friends or family about without being looked at differently afterwards.

Wish I found this site sooner. It really does help us express our thoughts, feelings and all that mess with people who can relate.

Glad you shared your story.
 
My $0.02 on the original post (sorry, didn't read all of the responses):

We are in the business of entertaining and brightening peoples days and making them feel sexy. I think it's despicable when models play the "I'm having a bad day, bad week, etc., I need to make rent!" card with members. Don't get on cam! If you had a desk job or were working with the public, you wouldn't be allowed to have days like that...you'd get fired. We, on the other hand, have the advantage of being able to set our own schedules and only work when we're feeling up to it.

I don't mean any offense to anyone, but I think it's really lame to pander for pity tokens. I think it's offensive to the models who work their asses off to make their shows amazing. You know what I mean?

Anyway, as far as the scam girl goes, I'm sorry that you had such a negative experience. I feel for you. On the other hand, I can't imagine that a girl who would do that to you would have been such an amazing conversationalist and friend that you felt like it was your duty to pay her way. I feel like you bought into what was clearly bullshit.

The good news is, there are hundreds of honest women on the site who have clear boundaries and rules and stick by them steadfastly, while still providing great companionship and conversation. These women genuinely care and want you to be well.

Maeve
 
Just in case you guys wonder....salary in Romania is around 200 euros for 10-12 hrs of work....I am Romanian and for me mfc was my salvation after divorce and having a kid in care. I worked as teacher for 200 euros and my monthly expenses (rent ,bills and food ) are like 700 euros. So you see I have a math problem. How you pay 700 with a 200 euros salary a month?
That being said, I dont think is fair for any member or model or human being in fact to have his or her feelings played.
 
Ugh I hate when there are girls like this on mfc. Why admins don't remove them. Seriously I've seen quite a of these. their walls consist of comments they ripped premiums off. Seriously it makes premiums believe all models are bad.
 
OK here goes. I have been enjoying cam sites off and on for two years now. I am married and have a great relationship with my wife and family. I consider this my one vice, yes we can rationalize anything.

Anyway I met a cam girl from Romania two years ago and have enjoyed my time with her but about 1 year ago the requests for extra money started coming, she said she needed help with Christmas, that was the first request then it was a holiday and so on. Yes I did help her out a few times, but it has really soured my relationship with her because I feel like I am being played. Ok I know I am being played.

Our sessions normally involve just talking which is enough for me.

I have found that if you go on with a girl from Romania and are respectful, the first statement from her will be “I can’t find and decent men here, they all want just one thing.” Ok get it but you are on a site where men are paying you to take off your clothes so I guess that would qualify for “one thing.” And then the next statement will be “you are really a nice guy.” Then it is off to the races or the bank.

Anyway here is my question should I call her on it, or just walk away?
 
Members are not the only ones that get begged for money.
I had a girl that asked me to send her some big tippers in her room once cause she needed a boob job.

Another member asked me to help his friend by sending some huge tips because she is a starving single mother. I looked her up and she has worked less than 20h on mfc in the last 30 days.

Blows my mind how some ppl think.

Camming is entertainment. If you want to make money you have to bust your ass putting in the hours and connecting with your audience. No one is responsible to pay your rent and provide for your children but you. This pity bs is lame and makes me lose respect for the models that do it.
 
Kickaz said:
Members are not the only ones that get begged for money.
I had a girl that asked me to send her some big tippers in her room once cause she needed a boob job.

Another member asked me to help his friend by sending some huge tips because she is a starving single mother. I looked her up and she has worked less than 20h on mfc in the last 30 days.

Blows my mind how some ppl think.

Camming is entertainment. If you want to make money you have to bust your ass putting in the hours and connecting with your audience. No one is responsible to pay your rent and provide for your children but you. This pity bs is lame and makes me lose respect for the models that do it.

I agree and I think that's shitty - I see girls who post maybe two clips a month on Clips4Sale complain that they don't make payout, and don't people CARE that they are going to get evicted? It's tacky and silly. BUT that said, I wouldn't judge the model who's member sent you that message - she might not have even known he sent it. I don't think it's a problem to only work 20 hours IF you don't then complain that you're broke and don't understand why you're not making money. I think it's a bit different than if she'd sent you the message herself.

The pity thing drives me craaaaazy though. I don't want to coerce or even convince people to give me money.
 
jpk112 said:
OK here goes. I have been enjoying cam sites off and on for two years now. I am married and have a great relationship with my wife and family. I consider this my one vice, yes we can rationalize anything.

Anyway I met a cam girl from Romania two years ago and have enjoyed my time with her but about 1 year ago the requests for extra money started coming, she said she needed help with Christmas, that was the first request then it was a holiday and so on. Yes I did help her out a few times, but it has really soured my relationship with her because I feel like I am being played. Ok I know I am being played.

Our sessions normally involve just talking which is enough for me.

I have found that if you go on with a girl from Romania and are respectful, the first statement from her will be “I can’t find and decent men here, they all want just one thing.” Ok get it but you are on a site where men are paying you to take off your clothes so I guess that would qualify for “one thing.” And then the next statement will be “you are really a nice guy.” Then it is off to the races or the bank.

Anyway here is my question should I call her on it, or just walk away?
My honest opinion is, what's the point in calling her out? Why not just move on, on your own? There are plenty of incredible models on MFC with wonderful work ethics and really fun rooms, who will not ask for anything more than the show or raffle in her topic.
 
jpk112 said:
Anyway here is my question should I call her on it, or just walk away?

The real question is "why haven't you walked away already?".

I wouldn't call her on it personally. If she works for a studio, she might well be being pressured into presenting members with a sob story in the hopes that they send her money. You didn't have to send her money but you chose to anyway, and either way, the money's long gone now, so kicking up a fuss about it seems pointless.
Beyond that, what's keeping you from moving on? Either to a different model (or models) or away from camsites completely?
 
mynameisbob84 said:
jpk112 said:
Anyway here is my question should I call her on it, or just walk away?

The real question is "why haven't you walked away already?".

I wouldn't call her on it personally. If she works for a studio, she might well be being pressured into presenting members with a sob story in the hopes that they send her money. You didn't have to send her money but you chose to anyway, and either way, the money's long gone now, so kicking up a fuss about it seems pointless.
Beyond that, what's keeping you from moving on? Either to a different model (or models) or away from camsites completely?

What Bob said.

Also, it's very easy to blame the model, but did she say "I will give you such and such if you sent me X" and then didn't send/do such and such after you kept up your end.
I don't really see complaining to someone that you're broke/need income as being a scam. I don't think it's great practise for models to do it in such a way that takes advantage of members (like seems to be in this case), but you're an adult man. You were aware that she is a camgirl by nature and wants your money. Though her tactics in asking play on your emotions, it's not really any different to what many businesses do with advertising etc. They use your emotions to make you want to spend your money there.

You're an adult man who met a camgirl. She asked for money. You gave her money. You feel the money wasn't worth what you got and now feel foolish. It happens. Life happens. This happens all of the time in regular friendships. You enjoy the feeling of giving because giving is a nice rush, then if the person keeps on wanting/needing you to give and the novelty of giving wears off you stop being interested in that person, or want them to reciprocate what you've given them. Once the novelty wears off, stop giving and move on. Don't linger around, don't resent her. You knew what you were doing and you made an informed decision. Don't blame others for your bad investments, just deal with them like an adult.
 
This is a difficult question to answer in my opinion
Each members/model relationship is different.
I see what you all post and in some cases yes I believe you might have been scammed and others there is a true connection but at the end of the day, what are the chances that all your dreams will be fulfilled with your partner.

But the big question I think you should ask to your model friend is this.

If you quit your job tomorrow how will that effect our relationship/friendship?

Deep down inside I already know the answer, but personally I don't want it to end I really care for my model and I think the feeling is mutual, but I think we both know so we continue while it lasts.
 
Thanks for the advice. The money is not a bid deal, but I would like to know if that is a common practice among certain camgirls, "the please send me money scam." The reason is in that in moving on I stumbled upon another woman from Romania and almost had the exact conversation, this time I walked away, ok ran away is a better description.

Yes I know it is all a fantasy but sometimes you just want to say stop the BS and enjoy that I am spending money at your site.

Ok that is as much of a rant as I am going to give, I really appreciated all the input-thank you.


Isabella_deL said:
mynameisbob84 said:
jpk112 said:
Anyway here is my question should I call her on it, or just walk away?

The real question is "why haven't you walked away already?".

I wouldn't call her on it personally. If she works for a studio, she might well be being pressured into presenting members with a sob story in the hopes that they send her money. You didn't have to send her money but you chose to anyway, and either way, the money's long gone now, so kicking up a fuss about it seems pointless.
Beyond that, what's keeping you from moving on? Either to a different model (or models) or away from camsites completely?

What Bob said.

Also, it's very easy to blame the model, but did she say "I will give you such and such if you sent me X" and then didn't send/do such and such after you kept up your end.
I don't really see complaining to someone that you're broke/need income as being a scam. I don't think it's great practise for models to do it in such a way that takes advantage of members (like seems to be in this case), but you're an adult man. You were aware that she is a camgirl by nature and wants your money. Though her tactics in asking play on your emotions, it's not really any different to what many businesses do with advertising etc. They use your emotions to make you want to spend your money there.

You're an adult man who met a camgirl. She asked for money. You gave her money. You feel the money wasn't worth what you got and now feel foolish. It happens. Life happens. This happens all of the time in regular friendships. You enjoy the feeling of giving because giving is a nice rush, then if the person keeps on wanting/needing you to give and the novelty of giving wears off you stop being interested in that person, or want them to reciprocate what you've given them. Once the novelty wears off, stop giving and move on. Don't linger around, don't resent her. You knew what you were doing and you made an informed decision. Don't blame others for your bad investments, just deal with them like an adult.
 
Can I just say that asking for you to send her money isn't a scam? Begging, maybe, but "Please send me some extra cash, I could really use it for Christmas/ a holiday/etc," is not a scam. You felt sorry for her, you sent her money she asked for, and now you regret it. Move on. Some girls will see that you like them and will try to take advantage of your generosity. Let them, or don't, but don't pretend you were tricked.

Some models out there may be scam artists but begging isn't the same thing, even if it is distasteful to some folks.
 
jpk112 said:
OK here goes. I have been enjoying cam sites off and on for two years now. I am married and have a great relationship with my wife and family. I consider this my one vice, yes we can rationalize anything.

Anyway I met a cam girl from Romania two years ago and have enjoyed my time with her but about 1 year ago the requests for extra money started coming, she said she needed help with Christmas, that was the first request then it was a holiday and so on. Yes I did help her out a few times, but it has really soured my relationship with her because I feel like I am being played. Ok I know I am being played.

Our sessions normally involve just talking which is enough for me.

I have found that if you go on with a girl from Romania and are respectful, the first statement from her will be “I can’t find and decent men here, they all want just one thing.” Ok get it but you are on a site where men are paying you to take off your clothes so I guess that would qualify for “one thing.” And then the next statement will be “you are really a nice guy.” Then it is off to the races or the bank.

Anyway here is my question should I call her on it, or just walk away?

I think the best answer here is grow some balls. If you don't want to send money to her then don't. Don't whine about the reason when you do though. It's called personal accountability for one's own actions.

But before you do that, my birthday is coming up. Can you send me some money?
 
JerryBoBerry said:
jpk112 said:
OK here goes. I have been enjoying cam sites off and on for two years now. I am married and have a great relationship with my wife and family. I consider this my one vice, yes we can rationalize anything.

Anyway I met a cam girl from Romania two years ago and have enjoyed my time with her but about 1 year ago the requests for extra money started coming, she said she needed help with Christmas, that was the first request then it was a holiday and so on. Yes I did help her out a few times, but it has really soured my relationship with her because I feel like I am being played. Ok I know I am being played.

Our sessions normally involve just talking which is enough for me.

I have found that if you go on with a girl from Romania and are respectful, the first statement from her will be “I can’t find and decent men here, they all want just one thing.” Ok get it but you are on a site where men are paying you to take off your clothes so I guess that would qualify for “one thing.” And then the next statement will be “you are really a nice guy.” Then it is off to the races or the bank.

Anyway here is my question should I call her on it, or just walk away?

I think the best answer here is grow some balls. If you don't want to send money to her then don't. Don't whine about the reason when you do though. It's called personal accountability for one's own actions.

But before you do that, my birthday is coming up. Can you send me some money?
No! You were right I am feeling better already.
 
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LilyEvans said:
Can I just say that asking for you to send her money isn't a scam? Begging, maybe, but "Please send me some extra cash, I could really use it for Christmas/ a holiday/etc," is not a scam. You felt sorry for her, you sent her money she asked for, and now you regret it. Move on. Some girls will see that you like them and will try to take advantage of your generosity. Let them, or don't, but don't pretend you were tricked.
A confidence artist (or con artist) is an individual, operating alone or in concert with others, who exploits characteristics of the human psyche such as dishonesty, honesty, vanity, compassion, credulity, irresponsibility, naïveté, or greed.
If what he says is true, it is the basic definition of a scam.
 
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eclipse76 said:
LilyEvans said:
Can I just say that asking for you to send her money isn't a scam? Begging, maybe, but "Please send me some extra cash, I could really use it for Christmas/ a holiday/etc," is not a scam. You felt sorry for her, you sent her money she asked for, and now you regret it. Move on. Some girls will see that you like them and will try to take advantage of your generosity. Let them, or don't, but don't pretend you were tricked.
A confidence artist (or con artist) is an individual, operating alone or in concert with others, who exploits characteristics of the human psyche such as dishonesty, honesty, vanity, compassion, credulity, irresponsibility, naïveté, or greed.
If what he says is true, it is the basic definition of a scam.

Then so is the ASPCA commercial with the Sarah McLaughlin song that makes me cry.
 
No I would not say this is common practise among models. It does seem to be more common among eastern european models, I think that is a mixture between the fact that large amounts of them are in studios and are pressured by the studio owner to say these things, and another is the fact that some of these girls could potentially be living in actual poverty. It's a different culture, it's a different lifestyle. Romania has got better since I was a child, but I remember when I was a child we were taught about the conditions, we donated to charities for it and people would go out there to do charity work. A fair amount of these girls cam because it's the best possible opportunity to make income. If you treat it absolutely as a job and a way to make as much money as possible you may use every possible advantage you have.

Personally I don't use this practise, though because of the nature of myfreecams there have been situations where member friends have bailed me out when I've got ill at the end of the month and need a certain amount to make payday. This doesn't happen anymore since payoneer introduced global bank transfers, but I used to feel terrible as I had a phase of being ill/in pain with one thing or another almost consistently for a while and I got myself into situations where I had the option of not being able to pay rent, eat or pay any bills for half a month or hope that a member would be generous and help me.

I think the way myfreecams is you do become friends with people, and they do genuinely care about your situation. Giving is a wonderful, enjoyable thing. Not all people like giving, some people are more receivers by nature, and though they will give, they don't get the same thrill from just giving, they want more from what they've given. Sometimes it's just a case that as much as you may like giving, the person on the receiving end takes advantage of the situation. One of my friends is much like that, consistently asking for this and that, never giving back even when she could. Because of this I don't want to spend time with her anymore. She was my best friend for a long time, but the constant taking and assuming that I'll give became too much. It happens. You move on.

Don't be put off my models. Don't be put off by Romanian models either, just learn to read when a model does these things. To be honest I think you're probably attracted to these sorts of models and probably enjoy it to a point seeing as you're still finding them. Very few of the members who visit me regularly (and chat to me) have come across these situations. Try visiting a model who's extremely blunt and honest about her reasons for being a camgirl and though she might be friendly, doesn't try and draw you in.
 
sad story...
.. I have a lots of guys who wants to meet me off cam, but they know that they can not spend this much money on a flight ticket, even if i would agree.
I have one guy who can, and he did crazy wow 4.000tkns tipping often and paypalling all the time, but he knows that he will not, cause aside from all our fun in private, saying that we would be "perfect match" , he knows that he is about the same age with my grandma. All tho I love him with all my heart and always will remember all his spoilers, we will never take it in real private room. This is the proper way of making this work for both of us. He is happy camming with me for 6 months now.
And I have one other guy, who visit my city already before, and I was not going to the public touristic area for whole 3 weeks, for not to bumped into him there. Now he is coming soon again, and he want to meet. Lets see how he tip... for now he isnt really tipping enough to be my bf. I mean he is good, but not good enough. So if he will not keep his promise to tip, I may as well just skip the town for another 3 weeks. Here is a lots of beautiful islands around, I did not visit yet.
And actually I have ... kind a need for advise here - what should I do with that one. How to make him understand, that 900tkn is not even getting my bills by 10%, and he want me to be "only his" for that, its just not worthy.
 
MaggieRider said:
Now he is coming soon again, and he want to meet. Lets see how he tip... for now he isnt really tipping enough to be my bf. I mean he is good, but not good enough. So if he will not keep his promise to tip, I may as well just skip the town for another 3 weeks. Here is a lots of beautiful islands around, I did not visit yet.
And actually I have ... kind a need for advise here - what should I do with that one. How to make him understand, that 900tkn is not even getting my bills by 10%, and he want me to be "only his" for that, its just not worthy.
:woops:
 
I'm sorry Maggie, your english just isn't good enough to get a clear picture on what you're trying to say. I think from what I saw which I may have misunderstood that me and you have very different ideas of relationships with both members and people in real life so I can't really offer you advice. Just please try not to mess members around and be careful. Even the most arseholey of members are still people with feelings. For most they understand it's fantasy and just enjoy cam girls for what they are. For others they don't understand and get carried away, I'd say especially guys in their late 20s early 30s from my experience as they usually feel more inclined to believe they actually have a chance with you.

You do not have to meet up with any member if you do not want to, not even if they offer you money. I still don't know if this is what you were trying to say but I'll put it in there anyway.
 
MaggieRider said:
sad story...
.. I have a lots of guys who wants to meet me off cam, but they know that they can not spend this much money on a flight ticket, even if i would agree.
I have one guy who can, and he did crazy wow 4.000tkns tipping often and paypalling all the time, but he knows that he will not, cause aside from all our fun in private, saying that we would be "perfect match" , he knows that he is about the same age with my grandma. All tho I love him with all my heart and always will remember all his spoilers, we will never take it in real private room. This is the proper way of making this work for both of us. He is happy camming with me for 6 months now.
And I have one other guy, who visit my city already before, and I was not going to the public touristic area for whole 3 weeks, for not to bumped into him there. Now he is coming soon again, and he want to meet. Lets see how he tip... for now he isnt really tipping enough to be my bf. I mean he is good, but not good enough. So if he will not keep his promise to tip, I may as well just skip the town for another 3 weeks. Here is a lots of beautiful islands around, I did not visit yet.
And actually I have ... kind a need for advise here - what should I do with that one. How to make him understand, that 900tkn is not even getting my bills by 10%, and he want me to be "only his" for that, its just not worthy.

I charge $56k per annum to be my "one and only". Anything less than that just isn't worth my time. I do offer one night stands for $500 though.
 
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