Know better, still fell in love

[AussieCosplay]

Bear with me. I love and appreciate women, so your use of the M word is misplaced. Due to the magic of the Internet, I also pay women to entertain me, sexually. At that point it gets fuzzy, at least in my male brain. If the model is in a great mood, self-actualizing, making bank, and physically enjoying herself (please god let me be the one to hit the lovense at the perfect time), there is no confusion full speed ahead. On the other hand, if I have become well acquainted with a model who I really, really like, and it's clear she is not having a great day, why on earth would I ask her to perform for me? In the case of the model for whom I suffer, I don't want to use her, I dream of loving her. I mainly stick to private tips and reactions to show my appreciation for her beauty and attention.

Please note that nobody said you were being misogynistic on purpose but we have all been raised with a whole lotta internalized misogyny which we tend to not recognise in ourselves until it's pointed out by others.
What you wrote was definitely misogynistic.
Heck, you even used incell dog whistles in it.

Paying a sex worker isn't inherently good or bad.
How you treat them or think about them is.

Having fantasies about saving someone when you can't afford one hour of their time should really be a bit of a reality check...that's misogynystic AF.
She's almost certainly doing absolutely wonderfully...so why do you think she needs saving?
Think long and hard about it.

 

[misterical]

Ouch. From his above post...how did you come to the conclusion that the model Nunyabizness is referring to is "taking advantage" of him? That's an unfair assumption to make. Nowhere in his post did he even say that the model behaved like they're a bf/gf couple in love. So you're bashing a model that you don't even know for what? Just for receiving tokens and not being in love with him? It sounds like you're projecting your own butthurtedness (from your situation with your desired model), and it's not cool. You guys need to get it through your heads that cam sites are not dating sites, and NEWS FLASH...a woman is allowed to not share your romantic feelings. It does not make her a user...a bitch...a snob...a scammer...undeserving...or anything else y'all like to say about women when your feelings are hurt (or when you're told no). Please learn how to take rejection without resorting to bashing the other person.

When us women learn that the guy we like doesn't share our feelings, we are told to get over it and move on.

I've read the original post on another forum where Nunyabizness posted. The model isn't taking advantage of him. In fact, from what I read she is politely telling him to get the fuck away from her. He's taking advantage of himself.

 

[GeorgeSpelvin]

Ouch. From his above post...how did you come to the conclusion that the model Nunyabizness is referring to is "taking advantage" of him? That's an unfair assumption to make.

I apologize for assuming. I said it sounds like she is taking advantage, based solely on the fact that his comments (with not other context) implied it. I admit, I wasn't thinking about the fact that he could be completely distorting the situation.

It sounds like you're projecting your own butthurtedness (from your situation with your desired model), and it's not cool.

This is probably true. My situation taught me that there are some actual love scammers, but reading this forum and other experiences have taught me that it's more common that the guy is being delusional or for some reason imagining something that doesn't exist. But yeah, I shouldn't have made any comment supporting this particular guy without knowing a lot more about what really happened.

You guys need to get it through your heads that cam sites are not dating sites, and NEWS FLASH...a woman is allowed to not share your romantic feelings. It does not make her a user...a bitch...a snob...a scammer...undeserving...or anything else y'all like to say about women when your feelings are hurt (or when you're told no). Please learn how to take rejection without resorting to bashing the other person.

After reading many posts on this site and other forums, I think that in about 90% of "in love with a model" cases, the guy is engaged in wishful thinking, if not completely deluded. But I'm also sensitive to the fact that manipulation (and in some cases outright love cons) do happen, too. (My situation involved a Russian studio model who pursued me with dozens of long love letters and other tactics and, of course with my stupidity and refusal to think someone could lie so blatantly and without remorse, it led to interacting offsite, providing money offsite, making plans to meet, and so on. This turned out to be something she did with a few members at the same time. I think of her more as a "long con" love scammer who was using camsites as a platform to find targets).

Back to the original point, I know firsthand that there can be heavy duty manipulation and unethical behavior from a model, but I think those situations are rare. I never again had any experience with a model even remotely like the bad experience I wrote about. My belief is that the vast majority of models are just trying to earn a living by doing cam modeling, and when there are problems, it seems most often to be from the member side. It still surprises me that so many guys have a notion that because the model is giving positive reinforcement (like talking in a friendly or flirtatious way in privates, or sharing a little about her life) for good tipping, it doesn't mean she "loves" him or has any interest at all in a relationship.

 

[GeorgeSpelvin]

The model isn't taking advantage of him. In fact, from what I read she is politely telling him to get the fuck away from her.

This seems to be a strange issue with a contingent of men. Sort of an aggressive, delusional thing where the woman isn't sending any hint of wanting the guy, yet the guy is somehow forming the conclusion that she does. Or even worse, completely blind to the "get the fuck away" signals. I'm not sure what this is about, but cam sites are a place where this seems to play out in a more accelerated way than in the real world.

 

[Ozzie_]

This seems to be a strange issue with a contingent of men. Sort of an aggressive, delusional thing where the woman isn't sending any hint of wanting the guy, yet the guy is somehow forming the conclusion that she does. Or even worse, completely blind to the "get the fuck away" signals. I'm not sure what this is about, but cam sites are a place where this seems to play out in a more accelerated way than in the real world.

Sadly I think you will find that it is not uncommon in real life either. (Talk to your female relatives abut it.)

Some guys take a simple smile as an indication of romantic interest, when all it is is either politeness or friendliness (or in the case of bar staff etc), merely doing their jobs). Some guys think that the one leads to the other.