Looking for a models opinion

[trotskyleon]

Yeah, I don't even.

It's like trotsky is trying harder and harder lately to make us dislike him. "You could have been a lot more of an asshole, and since you weren't, you did nothing wrong." - That's what I took from trotsky's post. I also took from it that if he was the OP he would have done the same thing because he also doesn't understand the disconnect between being a cam girl's online friend and being a real life friend to her.

This is worrisome.

Amber, its more worrisome the way some of you treat these kinds of posts and newcomers to these forums.

The first thing posted is basically "YOU CREEP", "YOU STALKER". Some people reading that wont take well to it.

The onus is on yourself to protect your privacy. Not on others to protect it for you (regardless of who they are).

In what way has this guy done any wrong thing? If anything he was an IDIOT to let her know he found her personal info? Or did he do the right thing by letting her know he found it? That way she is aware that people are able to find her personal info rather easily?

When I give advice to someone, I dont put them down first. Some of you have given good advise, but for the most it has been appalling (going on about not tipping, trust, etc). Clearly there was no trust between him and the model to begin with (trust works in both ways!).

Its always assumed the model was in the right - for some reason I dont know why anyone would assume that either! I mean telling someone your real name and not expecting them to find anything about you is ridiculous. Its only natural to verify information you receive. The fact that models do lie, makes it even more likely so.

Trot has to say. He is also a firm believer that if you want to date a cam girl, you have to hunt her down and show up at her front door with flowers. As we all know... that is not a healthy view on the world.

Yes because that is totally what I believe in???

IF I accidently come across some personal information whatever it maybe of a model i knew - do i tell her or not? I guess if I tell her I gonna be called a stalker, creep, rapist etc. Thats the advice i am getting from reading this thread. If i dont tell her, who knows perhaps a real stalker will find her. Once the information has been found, its a matter letting the model know. I dont know but generally I would prefer knowing who has my personal information rather than not having a clue.

He had guts to tell her he found about facebook. And i would say he did the right thing of letting her know. The part of looking her up - i look up everything (including regularly my own self!). Nothing wrong in it, given that the world we live we are encouraged to (just look at the media, who make $$$ out of it). I think models are naive to think people wont look them up especially if you give someone your name.

So what did he do wrong?
- Found her on facebook
- Told her about it
- she got upset because she gave personal info and he found her facebook..
- dude is upset because she is upset?
- i mean he could be withholding whatever else...but in any case he should move on and forget about her.

Note - I didnt call anyone a stalker or a creep.

 

[mynameisbob84]

Yeah, I don't even.

It's like trotsky is trying harder and harder lately to make us dislike him. "You could have been a lot more of an asshole, and since you weren't, you did nothing wrong." - That's what I took from trotsky's post. I also took from it that if he was the OP he would have done the same thing because he also doesn't understand the disconnect between being a cam girl's online friend and being a real life friend to her.

This is worrisome.

Amber, its more worrisome the way some of you treat these kinds of posts and newcomers to these forums.

The first thing posted is basically "YOU CREEP", "YOU STALKER". Some people reading that wont take well to it.

The onus is on yourself to protect your privacy. Not on others to protect it for you (regardless of who they are).

In what way has this guy done any wrong thing? If anything he was an IDIOT to let her know he found her personal info? Or did he do the right thing by letting her know he found it? That way she is aware that people are able to find her personal info rather easily?

When I give advice to someone, I dont put them down first. Some of you have given good advise, but for the most it has been appalling (going on about not tipping, trust, etc). Clearly there was no trust between him and the model to begin with (trust works in both ways!).

Its always assumed the model was in the right - for some reason I dont know why anyone would assume that either! I mean telling someone your real name and not expecting them to find anything about you is ridiculous. Its only natural to verify information you receive. The fact that models do lie, makes it even more likely so.

Trot has to say. He is also a firm believer that if you want to date a cam girl, you have to hunt her down and show up at her front door with flowers. As we all know... that is not a healthy view on the world.

Yes because that is totally what I believe in???

IF I accidently come across some personal information whatever it maybe of a model i knew - do i tell her or not? I guess if I tell her I gonna be called a stalker, creep, rapist etc. Thats the advice i am getting from reading this thread. If i dont tell her, who knows perhaps a real stalker will find her. Once the information has been found, its a matter letting the model know. I dont know but generally I would prefer knowing who has my personal information rather than not having a clue.

He had guts to tell her he found about facebook. And i would say he did the right thing of letting her know. The part of looking her up - i look up everything (including regularly my own self!). Nothing wrong in it, given that the world we live we are encouraged to (just look at the media, who make $$$ out of it). I think models are naive to think people wont look them up especially if you give someone your name.

So what did he do wrong?
- Found her on facebook
- Told her about it
- she got upset because she gave personal info and he found her facebook..
- dude is upset because she is upset?
- i mean he could be withholding whatever else...but in any case he should move on and forget about her.

Note - I didnt call anyone a stalker or a creep.

He didn't just happen to stumble across her facebook one day. He actively sought out her real name and used it to stalk her via facebook. Without her permission. And then told her. To his credit, not once has he tried to rationalise or defend his behaviour and he's accepted what he did was stupid. You on the other hand, still don't seem to get it.

 

[JoleneBrody]

He made it pretty clear she did not willingly hand over her name. While I agree that him coming clean was a good move, it's completely unreasonable to expect the girl to not be upset just because he admitted to it.
He got her name through either accident or digging long ago, he made that clear. He later abused her trust of him by using that information. She should have been locked down but he shouldn't have done it either. Stupid is flowing from both sides here but people are still allowed to be upset because betrayal still happened. I'm not sure why I bother with you trot. It's obviously you still don't have a healthy grasp of exactly what a cam girl is so... Yeah.
We all can act in a creepy manner when curiosity is peaked. You are crazy if you don't except that there may be consequences to you giving into urges when you shouldn't have.

 

[NoelleBright]

The problem lies here, dear mister Trotsky.

He originally said this:

so i got curious as to why and I found out her real name and well i found her on facebook.

Which, in the context of the paragraph leads the reader to believe that he found out her real name on his own after she had already stopped speaking with him.

He then says this:

Yea i havent pushed the issue. as far as after the fact I told her i found her facebook, I knew her real name so i realy didnt have to look very hard. After i told her i found it, and well she wasnt very happy with me.

Never anywhere does he clearly state how he got her real name.
In the original post it's made out to be he hunted her down and found it out himself.
In a later post he seems to change the story and makes it seem like he knew it before.

At any rate, we have no idea why she stopped talking to him and nowhere does it say that she actually gave him her name herself.
For all we know, she could have stopped speaking with him because he found out her real name at some point.

 

[anessa_lamb]

I found out her real name and well i found her on facebook. I found out she had been lying to me about some things. I told her i found her facebook...

It does not say that she told him her name, dude. He "found it out". It IS creepy to track someone down in real life who uses an alias to work. As many others have said, it is seriously one of the golden rules of camming.

A cam model is certain to try to hide her true identity, but it is every girl's fear that a guy will find some reason to try to track her down and make it known to her that he has access to her name and info.

It is inappropriate. I feel that the advice given to OP by many guys and gals has been great. You fucked up, you know you fucked up, just move on bro. Don't do it again.

Why, exactly, do you think that is an issue? Many girls offered other reasons to help potentially explain her behaviors. Lying is part of being a cam girl, and if you can't accept that you aren't owed the truth to be a cam girls "friend" then you really don't understand the industry. Lying is part and par with the job. Different girls lie to different degrees, as Amber stated.

As much as it is your opinion that our advice has so far been appalling, so has your lack of ability to see the issue. He went looking for something that was not his business. Is it her fault that he went looking? I don't think she should be held at fault because he found out her personal identity outside of MFC! If anythng, AS OP HAS ADMITTED, it was a crazy breach of trust, and there is likely no way to repair it.

It was creepy. It was uncool. If you disagree, then fine, but it just shows us how many people don't respect a camgirl's right to privacy. If I don't want to share my REAL LIFE with someone, I don't have to. Period.

in any case she was dumb to think you didnt know her facebook if she told you her real name.

as usual instead of offering good advice..the models have to say you are a creep first and then bash that into you and make you submissive towards models...

my advice, from a guy to guy, any lady that ignores u for so long and lies to u like that and doesnt value friendship and is not willing to forgive u for a simple mistake isnt worth your time.

you could have been a complete douchebag like a lot of other guys and posted her personal info all the over the place. told her friends about your camming business etc etc. but you didnt do that. keep that in mind, and move on. u did nothing wrong.

Sorry, but I don't understand fully. Please clarify.

So what did he do wrong?
- Found her on facebook
- Told her about it
- she got upset because she gave personal info and he found her facebook..
- dude is upset because she is upset?
- i mean he could be withholding whatever else...but in any case he should move on and forget about her.

Note - I didnt call anyone a stalker or a creep.

So. If he didn't do anything wrong, how did he do anything wrong? I highlighted the important parts. :twocents-02cents:

 

[AmberCutie]

1. Assume there is token exchange for contact outside MFC. Just assume. If you stop tipping her somewhat regularly, she will most likely stop talking to you much.

Re: token exchange for friendship outside the camroom:

The regulars I talk to most outside the camroom are ones who tip me well or often. I don't see it as a token exchange for attention; rather, the people who tip me regularly and well are showing me that they respect me, my time, and my job. People who show me that kind of respect are the types I prefer to extend my attention to. They understand that while I like them personally and would consider us friends, my job is the entertain and I simply can't do it for free.

However, not all who tip me well get much interaction from me outside the camroom. Some people tip well/often but they do not respect me (they are far too demanding, they ask personal questions even when I have told them it's inappropriate, they are rude or impolite, etc.) and they do not get special attention.

100% same for me.

And some of the people who DO respect and support me just don't vibe as well with me as others. I'm only human. Some people make me happier to spend time talking to than others.

 

[trotskyleon]

Anessa.

Everyone has their right to privacy, but that does mean we can sit back put our feet on the couch, have a facebook account, twitter etc (a presence on the net) and expect others not to look us up.

Heck I get random phone calls from companies trying to scam me. I get calls from random people for surverys. Spam email too.

It is not unique for only cam girls to lie. However it is naive to think that because you have lied that people will not look you up. However I wouldnt call that stalking, unless you are readily willing to accept that everyone is a stalker?

She gave enough information - end of story. Just as you say that you cant expect models to tell the truth - then can you really trust another person from a camming site? Should she have trusted him - so then how can you say its not her fault?

As I said before there was no trust to begin with. And this dude should just forget her and move on. Really thats the only piece of advice that was required.

Yet I read something about tips, stalking and some other random stuff.

 

[anessa_lamb]

Anessa.

Everyone has their right to privacy, but that does mean we can sit back put our feet on the couch, have a facebook account, twitter etc (a presence on the net) and expect others not to look us up.

Heck I get random phone calls from companies trying to scam me. I get calls from random people for surverys. Spam email too.

It is not unique for only cam girls to lie. However it is naive to think that because you have lied that people will not look you up. However I wouldnt call that stalking, unless you are readily willing to accept that everyone is a stalker?

She gave enough information - end of story. Just as you say that you cant expect models to tell the truth - then can you really trust another person from a camming site? Should she have trusted him - so then how can you say its not her fault?

As I said before there was no trust to begin with. And this dude should just forget her and move on. Really thats the only piece of advice that was required.

Yet I read something about tips, stalking and some other random stuff.

I agree with a large portion of what you say here. I took issue with you contradicting yourself, that is all. At first, you clearly misunderstood. Now that we are all on the same page, I can see that you do have some real grasp of what it means to respect someone elses right to not be HUNTED DOWN online.


or do you not, still???

 

[Anonymous]

Lol
So idiotic that even Higirls wouldn't defend him when he first turned up. That's saying something. Ah well...

LMAO...so true! :lol:

 

[trotskyleon]

My issue is just with these threads. Its much better to get straight to the point and not assume things.

Dude dont try and find camgirls real personal info. If she trusts you she will give it you.

Now you have the done wrong thing by finding her personal info but at least you told her about it. ANd she can then have a good think about whether she should protect her personal information a bit more.

My advice, is to leave her alone and forget about her. (or whatever else some of you suggested, apologise etc)

.


Simple no?

Is it our business to know how or why he did this? -No
Is it our business to know if they had a relationship? -No
Is it our business to know if there some sort of $$$ arrangment? - No

Does any of the above, change the advice we give him? Perhaps a little bit, we can a bit more precise. But its not needed.

Keep it simple :twocents-02cents: . Especially for these type of important threads.

 

[pg240]

much, much more creepy. Just apologize and stay VERY CLEAR OF HER. Maybe you didn't know any better, but here is some advice:

1. Assume there is token exchange for contact outside MFC. Just assume. If you stop tipping her somewhat regularly, she will most likely stop talking to you much.

2. Do not get emotionally attached to a model. It is her JOB to be alluring and make men want her, so enjoy it, but remember... She is WORKING, no matter how convincing her act is on cam.

3. Regardless of any lies, relationships, etc... These women are nervous that men will do exactly what you did. Leave her where you found her. Don't try to know them IRL, unless they offer.

4. Cam models often get close to men who: are regulars, tip well, don't act needy, and who don't send creepy vibes. Please.

Honestly, trying to save face here is going to make it worse. Dissapear. Be some other cam girl's friend. If she really did SOMEHOW treat you badly, there are many great models out there.

Bottom line, honey. ITS NEVER OK TO TRY TO FIND A CAM GIRL IN REAL LIFE. No matter what. If you have to go looking, she didn't want it to be found.

There is probably NOTHING you can do to make her feel better, other than disappearing from her.

No. 2 above is the biggest pitfall for members of cam sites. I fear too many members are men who don't fare all that well in real-life relationships. If a man hasn't experienced relationships in the real world, he's probably ripe for getting emotionally involved online. And that can be problematic for both parties. And regardless of what anyone says to the contrary, if he spends tons of time trying to track down a real identity, he's way beyond being emotionally involved and getting close to freaky territory. That's sort of beyond-control behavior. Models can't be blamed. They're doing their jobs. They might be wise to recognize the signs and back off if they see trouble brewing, but it's up to members to understand the boundaries and play the game the way it's meant to be played. Oh, I suppose you could assume there's an isolated case in which a model might get too close as well. We're all human, after all. But it's best to keep in mind that this is an entertainment business. Models supply it, and we pay for it. Personal connections are a huge bonus, but everything has to be kept in perspective or we're back reading another thread like this one.

 

[Anonymous]

Vlad...er, uh...trot must feel really special having so many pretty girls on here paying attention to him.

 

[trotskyleon]

Vlad...er, uh...trot must feel really special having so many pretty girls on here paying attention to him.

dont be jealous

 

[anessa_lamb]

My issue is just with these threads. Its much better to get straight to the point and not assume things.

Dude dont try and find camgirls real personal info. If she trusts you she will give it you.

Now you have the done wrong thing by finding her personal info but at least you told her about it. ANd she can then have a good think about whether she should protect her personal information a bit more.

My advice, is to leave her alone and forget about her. (or whatever else some of you suggested, apologise etc)

.


Simple no?

Is it our business to know how or why he did this? -No
Is it our business to know if they had a relationship? -No
Is it our business to know if there some sort of $$$ arrangment? - No

Does any of the above, change the advice we give him? Perhaps a little bit, we can a bit more precise. But its not needed.

Keep it simple :twocents-02cents: . Especially for these type of important threads.

Hm.... Maybe if you had been saying that the whole time it would have been easier to understand you.

You are entitled to your opinion, yet I don't see any reason to hold back mine. We all have the right to type what we wish. If you and him are offended that he was called creepy, and that some girls felt it was akin to stalking, I guess that's just too bad. We shared how we felt, it's too bad you didn't think the extra information was needed.

he actually also agrees he was creepy. :whistle:

 

[anessa_lamb]

Vlad...er, uh...trot must feel really special having so many pretty girls on here paying attention to him.

dont be jealous

:lol:

 

[Anonymous]

dont be jealous

:lol:

When you're banned from the forum this week, you'll be jealous that you can't post on here...and desperately trying to get back in under some new silly ass screen name.

I just saw that you PMed me. Please stop that.

 

[uniqueason]

I hate defending myself on being a douche but i feel i have to clear somethings up
I fucked up. I know this End of story. Sorry alot of this was posted with very little sleep. so yea i made some mistakes


I know that but how i got her name was we were showing different photo IDs on skype and I saw it. WE talked about it, She knew I knew. End of story
It took me 2 seconds to find her. and this skype was maybe 6 mos. ago wasnt like i found out last night. Ive known .

Whats worse creeping on facebook and not tellin her or finding it and telling her cuz u felt guilty and horrible that u did it, and i insta told her.
Its over and done with I sent an apology, and i plan on leaving her alone

I was looking for a models POV as to how not to hurt her anymore than i have done Was doing damage control. not trying to win her back I know that ship had sailed. Its done and over with. Im human at least i was man enough to admit to my mistake, I know I fucked up I have to deal with it. Im the heart broken bitch who feels awful for hurting someone i care about, someone i considered a friend.

 

[Deleted member 8603]

Just...noooo.
No, man.

You too, other dude, just no.

 

[Brad]

.

So what did he do wrong?
- Found her on facebook (step #1 in the creeper/stalker handbook)
- Told her about it (step 2 in above mentioned handbook)
- she got upset because she gave personal info and he found her facebook..
- dude is upset because she is upset?
- i mean he could be withholding whatever else...but in any case he should move on and forget about her.

Note - I didnt call anyone a stalker or a creep.

Dude, you either really just don't get it or you are making really lame attemts to troll this forum.


If I tell you that I robbed a store at gunpoint you don't have to call me a thief but that doesn't change the fact that I am one.


It's just nice to see that Trotsy finally quit denying that he was also Vlad. (as if none of us could tell anyway)
:lol:

To the OP. It appears that you understand where you fucked up so that is good. While you may not have meant to do something done by all the creepers/stalkers out there, now you at least know for the future not to do this. Models need privacy because of the freaks out there. From what I gather reading your posts she showed you something with her real name on it and you used the name to find her on FB. So if that is the case then she trusted you enough to let you see her name and you used that info to find her on FB. PLEASE don't do that shit. Way not cool! IF she wants you to see her FB page she will say so.

While Trotsy may not get this concept the reality is that a good admirer will let the model share what she wants with him/her but will never pry or ask. You can't go by how you act in other situations either because this isn't just a work buddy or and old school chum. If you really like a model so much that you care to be her friend then you will also understand and respect her need for privacy and some of the unwritten rules that go with it. Or as Trotsy referred to it, you are "submissive". (LOL)
:thumbleft:

And before your dumb ass even goes there Trotsy, I don't want to hear about your wannabe militant tactics. ("Well then I will just do this...blah, blah, blah...") Just like I told you in the other thread if you were in my store and ran your mouth it would only last as long as it took for me to come grab you and toss your ass out. It happened here last year. Once I got up from my chair the smart ass bee lined towards the door yapping the entire way out. So that crap only works until you are removed, or in the case of MFC, banned. There is your constant threat of banning I speak of since you couldn't figure that out either. Yes, your ass can be banned from businesses too. You have no rights. Not your ball. Golden rule baby!
:happy-partydance:

 

[PunkInDrublic]

Stephen: Oh boy, I think I know what's happened. Our son hasn't learned yet that girls will pretend to like him for money.
Linda: Butters, these girls pretend to be interested in you because they know you'll give them tips.
Butters: Huh?
Stephen: You see, Butters, women know that they can make men do anything by flirting. And some girls, like these, turn that into a profession

Thread reminded me of this classic.

 

[AllisonWilder]

Oh, trotsky. Sweet ( :lol: ), delusional trotsky.

 

[trotskyleon]

You are entitled to your opinion, yet I don't see any reason to hold back mine. We all have the right to type what we wish. If you and him are offended that he was called creepy, and that some girls felt it was akin to stalking, I guess that's just too bad. We shared how we felt, it's too bad you didn't think the extra information was needed.

he actually also agrees he was creepy. :whistle:

I was annoyed rather than offended.

You can say what you want for sure. But think about it, Some ppl were calling him a creep etc - after he has found out details about model. Not ideal. Last thing you want is for him to go out in anger and post her info everywhere out of spite. Should helping him..rather than chastising him.

@Brad.

Facebook is an online social networking service - they encourage you to "connect" friends. I wouldnt blame anyone for searching people up on facebook. Especially given this guy thought he was her friend. If you really want to protect your privacy, protect your facebook page or dont use facebook. You cannot tell or expect people not to look at your facebook page.

Your privacy is your responsibility.

Good luck with your store. Not sure what you are rambling about.

 

[Shaun__]

Facebook is an online social networking service - they encourage you to "connect" friends. I wouldnt blame anyone for searching people up on facebook. Especially given this guy thought he was her friend. If you really want to protect your privacy, protect your facebook page or dont use facebook. You cannot tell or expect people not to look at your facebook page.

Your privacy is your responsibility.

Connections. There is a model who is very honest with me, and sometimes it hurts a tiny bit knowing how impossible somethings are in life or how different things are than I would like them to be. Still I would never change what we share, because everyone in this world needs someone who will listen to all the things, not just the good. Sometimes I get the impression a lot of the site members do not really know what they are asking for by prying too deeply into the affairs of the models they like.

Anyways she has developed a special method to protect her privacy from me. She tells me stuff is secret, when she would prefer I not know it. I then respect her privacy by not going behind her back and finding out anyways, and there are a couple things about her life I would really like to know due to the mysterious nature of them.

This trust between us is the foundation of our connection, and it is greater than any amount of Facebook stuff. I admit it is unlikely to get me in her pants, which I doubt I could fit into unless they were stretchy ones, or her hand in marriage. It will however gain me a friend, and that is also important.

When I see a friend in need I try to help out, and models often need help maintaining their privacy. A true friend will help out there like they would everywhere else.

 

[anessa_lamb]

I was annoyed rather than offended.

You can say what you want for sure. But think about it, Some ppl were calling him a creep etc - after he has found out details about model. Not ideal. Last thing you want is for him to go out in anger and post her info everywhere out of spite. Should helping him..rather than chastising him.

I think it's important to note that if Trot had been saying from the very beginning "hey, don't call him creepy! that model might suffer, he could post her info", the responses he got would have been a lot different.

Instead, this was the gist of your first post, Trot: "you didn't do anything wrong. she shouldn't have given you her name. as usual models are not helpful and make you feel submissive..."

I guess it's just difficult to follow someone's point who keeps changing their... point. You went at this from a couple angles and only one of them is working for you, and I'm using the word "working" lightly. I understand what you are trying to say, now, Trot. I just disagree very strongly with some of the other ideas and thoughts you posted about this.

 

[Just Me]

Trust, like friendship, is a two way street. Do not expect my trust or friendship if you can not do the same.

 

[southsamurai]

wellllll. tangential reference time.

now, i get how easy it is to become attached to models. any of the ladies i visit i have some kind of emotion towards. that is part of the joy of cam world for me. a very small handful have shared time and energy with me away from cam land. three are connected across my personal social media sites. as much as anyone can be a friend from a great distance they are to me.
theres plenty of cam ladies that just make me happier than i would otherwise be just by letting me hang around and chat, or lurk, or enjoy the room in other ways. that emotion is real. sometimes there is also emotion returned from across the infinite space between monitors. some ladies seem genuinely happy when i pop in, which makes me happy and want to make them happy in turn.
all of that is valid and real and wonderful (specially for a shut in like me)

all of that is also unreal and contrived at the same time. any connection via the internet is inherently surreal. as soon as a person realizes that no matter how awesome it is it is still nothing but faces and noise on a screen a barrier pops up in the mind. overcoming that barrier to see a real person is hard. and it is usually not worth the effort.

you see, no matter what i feel, what i think, there is a line that as a user of the system i am not allowed to cross without invitation. that line is there for everyone. (even if they refuse to admit it).
out of all my cam lady friends only one has ever asked to come visit with me. (it fell through since her touring schedule changed). im fine with that. no way, no how could i seriously ask for such a thing. it just doesnt make sense.

because that line is there, and patrolled fiercely in most cases, i am free to have a brief cyber crush on a model or ten. i am free to enjoy the company of brilliant witty entertaining people i would otherwise not have met. i am also free to say goodbye when they go off cam and not fret over the absence. there is a synergy to the boundaries needed for camming that benefits both sides of the screen. it even allows me to be free and joke and invite everyone over for a cookout. would it bother me if my cam friends came for a visit? not at all, as long as they knew what to expect of me as a host (im a horrible one other than the cooking part of things). but i also know damn good and well that no one is going to take me up on it. and that is as it should be.

when i was bouncing back in the day rarely would a month pass by without some member getting obsessed with a dancer. it always blew my mind. why would any dude think that coming in and passing a few sweaty bills to a lady mean that she was more than entertainment? you dont make passes at your waitress, your barkeep. its just rude unless they indicate it is acceptable. camming is pretty much the same in my eyes. sit back, enjoy the lady and her company and let it be the joy that it is. youll have more fun that way anyway.

 

[pg240]

i am free to enjoy the company of brilliant witty entertaining people i would otherwise not have met.

This is so, so true. It blows me away how witty and entertaining so many cam models are. But I guess I shouldn't be surprised. It's an entertainment medium for our times, and people who are good at it are going to gravitate toward it. And it's a form of entertainment that's more "immediate" and more "personal" than most of them, which makes that opportunity for emotional attachment even greater. Southsamurai has a healthy approach to it. Knows what it is and enjoys it for what is is. Understands the boundaries and respects them. I think most of us share that approach. Unfortunately, some just aren't emotionally equipped to deal with it and end up misconstruing what is taking place. Add that to what's probably a pretty long list of #camgirlproblems.

 

[mynameisbob84]

There should be a disclaimer of some kind that members have to agree to when they log on to MFC - a kind of helpful reminder not to become too emotionally invested in the pretty girls who work on the site. I do empathise with doods who log on to MFC and - often times through no fault of their own - misinterpret a little bit of extra attention from a model as a sign that they want to cradle said member's balls in their hands while they get to work on sucking the cock attached to those balls.

Camming is a job that requires its workers to encourage members to tip them. The more members they convince to tip them and the more they convince those members to tip, the more money they make. It's no surprise that some members get hurt in this. If a member doesn't log on to MFC with the right mindset, it's evidently pretty easy for them to fall in to the trap of believing what they want to believe. Any time you combine socially inept, lonely guys (I don't think these guys necessarily make up the majority of MFC but I'd wager there's certainly a lot of them out there) and thousands of beautiful women whose job it is to make those same members feel liked and valued, you're inevitably going to wind up with a lot of unneccessary dramaz.

It would benefit everybody if these guys were made aware exactly of what they're walking in to, ya know? That way, less members get unhealthily attached to models; less models get stalked/obsessed over; less guys get led on by models looking to manipulate them; and models no longer need to worry about giving the members they genuinely like extra attention and having that attention misconstrued as something it's not. Everyone's happy :-D

The key things to remember at all times are thus;

1. Extra attention from a cam girl does not mean they want your peen in or around their face - It might mean they like you, it might mean they enjoy your company, it might just mean they're bored; but it doesn't mean they're looking to settle down and make a family with you. If you can't talk to a girl over the internet without obsessing over her, then camsites just aren't for you.

2. Just because you're online-friends with a cam girl doesn't mean a real-world friendship is gonna follow - Online friendships exist primarily online. Sure, there are occassions where an online friendship grows to encompass a real-world friendship, but those instances are rare, and rarer still in camland. Realistically, if you want to be friends with a cam girl, you're gonna have to settle for an online friendship. If that's not enough for you, then camsites just aren't for you.

3. Online friendships have boundaries, jut like real-world friendships - An online friendship might mean talking on MFC in public chat, talking via PM, or talking over Twitter or Skype or email. It doesn't mean using the internet to find out everything you can about your new "friend"'s real-world life (just as a real-world friendship doesn't mean you're entitled to know every single thing about the private lives of your real-world friends). As with any online friendship, there's a limit to how much information is shared. If you're online friends with a cam girl, you'll have to accept that the information they're willing to share with you, might not be as much as you're willing to share with them. If that's not good enough, then camsites just aren't for you.

There are exceptions to all those things, but I reckon if all members kept those things in mind when in camland, there'd be far less drama and heartbreak :twocents-02cents:

 

[Anonymous]

misinterpret a little bit of extra attention from a model as a sign that they want to cradle said member's balls in their hands

A friends list add does not = "Lemme cradle dem balls, bb!"

 

[anessa_lamb]

I just want to reiterate something that a few other girls said earlier... Just because someone tips well is not the only reason we'd want to put effort into your friendship. You are the people we hang out with at work, and I think that there is genuine emotion on both sides. It's so tricky for some people to handle that kind of thing, though.

Usually that is where issues pop up... But at the end of the day, it isn't just the guys/members who appreciate the friendship! I like being able to escape into a world of people who appreciate me for being a sexy woman, want to laugh with me, are taking time from their lives to be there, etc...