Members' obsession with location, why?!

[Lunasha]

My question is for anyone who might have an answer or hypothesis!

I haven't been camming for very long yet, but definitely the question that I'm asked the most is ''Where are you from bb?''

ALL. THE. TIME.

I thought that by putting a very fictional location in my bio, members would figure out that I simply don't wish to disclose my real location, but no.

And even once I tell them that I don't wish to say it, it often becomes a conversation topic. Yesterday, 2 dudes went at it for like...30 min at least? It was a game they said. They were simply naming all countries they could think of and waiting for me to say no.

So. WHY is it such an obsession? Simple curiosity? Or to feel 'closer' to the model? Would they be more happy if I happened to live in the same country as them? Or if I would be more exotic and live across the globe?

Also don't they understand why many camgirls don't wish to tell this kind of info?

Sorry, it almost sounds like a rant. But I'm genuinely curious to talk about the matter. Also wondering if there are better ways to handle it. Should I simply lie about my location and give a false, but existing place? They should leave me alone if I do this maybe?

 

[AudriTwo]

I know it's annoying. Some also don't understand boundaries or respect privacy. I specifically say the internet when they ask me where I'm from.

 

[bud9752]

1. They want to find you
2. their fantasy is to have a physical relationship with you
3. they're obsessed with you
etc.....

 

[Poison_Ivy21]

Because they think it’s a dating site. You say you live in the same region and their dicks get extra hard from the “possibility.”

 

[SaffronBurke]

I thought that by putting a very fictional location in my bio, members would figure out that I simply don't wish to disclose my real location, but no.

Lol, I tell them I'm from Pluto and they reply "what state is that in?" I switched to saying that I'm from Risa but I guess not enough people have watched Star Trek and I have to explain what it is. It's nice being able to blame lag on being 93 lightyears away, though.

 

[dark_mermaid]

I think it's just a conversation starter.

 

[Deleted member 37064]

There's various reasons. Some have malicious intent. Others, have a more benign reason and to have something else in common with models.

For myself, I think it's nice to know from a very general location (country and state/region) so that it might be a topic can talk about in terms of events. But, typically do not ask. I view it as if she wants to tell me, that's her decision. Otherwise, I prefer to respect her privacy.

 

[fandango]

I don't think most people who ask are stalkers or up to no good but instead see it more as a conversation starter or just general interest. I like to know where a model is from because I find it interesting and like talking with people from different places and models come from all over the world.

I ask what country someone is from or state if they're American since American States are bigger than most other countries. Of course if someone doesn't want to say I'd drop it immediately and never ask again but I don't see the problem with mentioning it in the first place.

 

[SMuser69]

Benign reasons a member why ask (ballpark) your region.

1. Timezone difference
2. Relational chat topics
3. Regular geoblocked while traveling
4. something regional about accent, language or something in frame of your camera
5. Day/Night outside your window
6. Saying 'good morning' in someone's afternoon or evening
7. Setting schedules without timezone information
8. Weather topics
9. currency difference (money site thing not really a token site thing)
10. Just a blank convo question.

Everything can't be paranoia. At the same time this is a BROAD question you don't have to be mythical in your answer if you at least narrow down to the timezone. Us members have schedules also and it's convenient to schedule with models sometimes but models commonly forget this in international business and it's always 'at night' somewhere in the world.

 

[Lunasha]

Yeah, I can see why it might be interesting/useful to know since it can open doors to many other topics, but I'm especially wondering why some are completely OBSESSED with the matter. I guess the answer is simple : they don't understand or care about some camgirls' need for privacy on the matter.

I guess I'll continue to answer as I feel like then. If some members really have an issue with not knowing where I'm from, they can choose to not follow me too!

Everything can't be paranoia.

Who's being a parano?

 

[MollyMidnight]

I share the country I'm in because it works well for me. If they ask more, I ban the fuckers. Because I'm so tired of people not reading my bio and now the bot that posts my rules in the chat, and people taking "no" to mean "start guessing" or getting upset with the snarky answers I got real tired of coming up with. (Seeing a greys reaction to "that'll cost five hundred thousand tokens" is fun though)

 

[MollyMidnight]

Would they be more happy if I happened to live in the same country as them? Or if I would be more exotic and live across the globe?

DP because I just remembered this bit.

It depends where they're from. People from big, commonly represented places are probably more excited by the exotic. People from countries that tend to be forgotten by the English speaking world and/or are very rarely represented in the industry are usually more excited if you're from the same place.

 

[Lunasha]

Because I'm so tired of people not reading my bio and now the bot that posts my rules in the chat

Oh that's a good idea, I think I should add a notice saying to read my bio before asking questions lol. I should do some quick FAQ too and add my tip menu as well!

I don't want to replace actual interactions with robotic responses, but some questions are REALLY getting redundant!! Also that way I'll be able to see who's serious about knowing me for real.

 

[SMuser69]

Also you have to remember 'where are you from?', is the second most asked question from models to members after, 'what's your name?'. So it's not crazy for members hearing that question from every model ever to feel it's free to ask in return. in particular when it's a member trying to make small talk with a language barrier

 

[Lunasha]

Also you have to remember 'where are you from?', is the second most asked question from models to members after, 'what's your name?'. So it's not crazy for members hearing that question from every model ever to feel it's free to ask in return. in particular when it's a member trying to make small talk with a language barrier

Oh interesting, I didn't know models did ask that much.

I guess that the point here is that I assumed most members who did want to engage in conversation with me would take the time to go read my bio and therefore see I indicate a fictional location (and understand it's for a reason)...and I was probably wrong to be assuming this. I have no problems with people wanting to genuinely know about me and stuff, I'm more concerned about the lack of interest in respecting my boundaries, that's all.

 

[THE MOLLIE MARIE]

Also you have to remember 'where are you from?', is the second most asked question from models to members after, 'what's your name?'. So it's not crazy for members hearing that question from every model ever to feel it's free to ask in return.

I would never ask either of those things, for the exact reason that I do not want the questions asked in return. The info I give on my profiles is all the info I am willing to share on the matter. If they would like to tell me those pieces of information (as they often do in their initial greetings to me), that's fine, and I repeat what's on my profile in return.

Most clients are respectful of this, and don't pester after I tell them that I'd rather not disclose anything further if they directly ask. The ones who aren't, I quickly remove. No time to explain the need for privacy, I'd rather take clients who already get it. I feel like anyone who pushes about this isn't going to be the kind of client I'd like to have anyway.

 

[Miss_Lollipop]

Years ago I used to not share my location. When I moved cities I decided to be more open about it

The difference was crazy. I had more creepy obsessive ppl trying to find me, more weird experiences getting recognized in public etc in my old city than I ever do now.

NOT recommending everyone rush to out their location..I have very little to worry about in terms of safety and being outed. But I do still get recognized in public etc.but the creepy vibes are gone. Ppl just say hi and take a pic or something and its fine

This is just a comment to say that I think some of the... annoying non stop questions and shit seem to stem from the "mystery". They know theres a secret so they wanna know what it is.

 

[Lintilla]

Absolutely a conversation starter in most cases. And many models, myself included, don't have a problem naming their city, so members might find it a bit strange when they finally bump into someone who doesn't want to share. Of course they should respect that you don't wish to answer (and read your damn bio!), and they should listen the first time. I think some take it as a bit of a challenge when they're told "no" and try to dig it up even if they don't particularly care. Any of that type of behaviour is an instant block from me, since I doubt they'd respect any other boundaries.

 

[SMuser69]

I would never ask either of those things, for the exact reason that I do not want the questions asked in return. The info I give on my profiles is all the info I am willing to share on the matter. If they would like to tell me those pieces of information (as they often do in their initial greetings to me), that's fine, and I repeat what's on my profile in return.

Most clients are respectful of this, and don't pester after I tell them that I'd rather not disclose anything further if they directly ask. The ones who aren't, I quickly remove. No time to explain the need for privacy, I'd rather take clients who already get it. I feel like anyone who pushes about this isn't going to be the kind of client I'd like to have anyway.

The profile argument isn't with problems either at least on SM. Since around May, you can't bypass link a profile (where you can view the profiles, pictures or comments without entering the public room). So if the model is online a member enters a room and starts reading this information, many models are way too trigger happy and maybe 2 or 3 minutes start tossing blocks or bans. I can't imagine this pressure when you aren't proficient in English. For members it can be a no win scenario with some models due to this. I'm just saying if small talk can annoy so much then I'm sure what seems like idling from the models perspective isn't going to go over well either.

 

[SaffronBurke]

Also you have to remember 'where are you from?', is the second most asked question from models to members after, 'what's your name?'. So it's not crazy for members hearing that question from every model ever to feel it's free to ask in return. in particular when it's a member trying to make small talk with a language barrier

I've literally never asked either of those questions. A member's location is not relevant to my shows, and as for their name - they have a display name, I call them by the first one or two syllables, or the first letter. If your username is bigcock87, I'm calling you B unless you tell me to call you Steve or whatever.

 

[THE MOLLIE MARIE]

The profile argument isn't with problems either at least on SM. Since around May, you can't bypass link a profile (where you can view the profiles, pictures or comments without entering the public room). So if the model is online a member enters a room and starts reading this information, many models are way too trigger happy and maybe 2 or 3 minutes start tossing blocks or bans. I can't imagine this pressure when you aren't proficient in English. For members it can be a no win scenario with some models due to this. I'm just saying if small talk can annoy so much then I'm sure what seems like idling from the models perspective isn't going to go over well either.

Argument? I'm answering her question and giving my reason for finding it annoying.

And I'm not sure how relevant the rest of your response is, as we are talking about the members who do ask these questions, not the ones "idling." But okay. I disagree with your last sweeping generalization. Personally I'd much rather have someone take the time to read the information that I've given, I typed it out for a reason, I prefer that they are respectful and take that time to look at it rather than ignore it. It's not there by accident. And as SM profiles are character-limited, I can't imagine it taking many people very long to read through anyway. But yeah that's their prerogative to remove members as they please. I see it happen on all the sites for sure.

 

[Lunasha]

I'm grateful for all of your insights, thank you!

I think I get why it becomes more of an obsession when the info is purposely hidden...mmh.

I've also been thinking that if I try to keep my location a secret, some creepers might indeed do everything they can to find more private stuff about me than otherwise. That's good to keep in mind.

But honestly, I really didn't think that I would get this question so often, so never gave the matter too much attention until now!

 

[rstanton]

Also you have to remember 'where are you from?', is the second most asked question from models to members after, 'what's your name?'.

This is my experience too. Many conversations have started with, "hru?", "whats ur name?" then either "how old ru?" or "where ru from?" It seems like they're following a script.

 

[Deleted member 37064]

The profile argument isn't with problems either at least on SM. Since around May, you can't bypass link a profile (where you can view the profiles, pictures or comments without entering the public room). So if the model is online a member enters a room and starts reading this information, many models are way too trigger happy and maybe 2 or 3 minutes start tossing blocks or bans. I can't imagine this pressure when you aren't proficient in English. For members it can be a no win scenario with some models due to this. I'm just saying if small talk can annoy so much then I'm sure what seems like idling from the models perspective isn't going to go over well either.

That's one of the things that annoys me about SM and CB, is that if the models are online you enter into their room. I'm one who will at least skim over the profile, and most likely will read most sections of it. On SM, I've had models boot me within 30 seconds for not responding while I'm reading their profile. On MFC, it's separate links for the profile and MFC share.

I don't go to either SM or CB, except on very rare occasions. So, there's unfamiliarity to the site, as well as trying to read the profile which makes it a little slow. If a model boots me while I'm trying to read a profile, or trying to work my way around the site, chances are I will never come back. Which, is lost revenue to her since it's very rare for me to never tip a model. In my mind, if she is that quick to boot someone, she's not the kind of model I want to get to know.

 

[JoleneBrody]

Yeah, I can see why it might be interesting/useful to know since it can open doors to many other topics, but I'm especially wondering why some are completely OBSESSED with the matter.


?

To a degree, Because you let them. There is no reason that a 30 minute guessing game about your location should have been allowed to happen. This might be a dick thing to say but I’ve learned over the years that the biggest disrespect in camland usually comes from people we allow to disrespect us because we don’t want to “be mean” or lose a tipper. Fuck that. Be mean.

 

[Deleted member 37064]

Also you have to remember 'where are you from?', is the second most asked question from models to members after, 'what's your name?'. So it's not crazy for members hearing that question from every model ever to feel it's free to ask in return. in particular when it's a member trying to make small talk with a language barrier

This is my experience too. Many conversations have started with, "hru?", "whats ur name?" then either "how old ru?" or "where ru from?" It seems like they're following a script.

Exactly. it might not come out right away for the model to ask. But, many models do indeed ask members this. It's been rare for me to be asked it in public, but many do inquire via PM. Unless I have gotten to know the model a little more, I usually keep it to country. The models I interact most often with know more specific info.

 

[Lunasha]

To a degree, Because you let them. There is no reason that a 30 minute guessing game about your location should have been allowed to happen. This might be a dick thing to say but I’ve kearned over the years that the biggest disrespect in camland usually comes from people we allow to disrespect us because we don’t want to “be mean” or lose a tipper. Fuck that. Be mean.

Alas, it's true, I'm not really quick on the ban button in general, unless I'm dealing with trolls. I guess I'm still trying to decide what kind of camgirl I want to be and how I want my personality to come through. In real life, I'm really the quiet type and I will almost always back up from any kind of confrontation, unless necessary.
In yesterday's case, I guess I let them play that little game because I didn't want to give the impression I gave that much importance to my location and the fact that I keep it a secret.

That's still a good thing to keep in mind though, if someone doesn't care about some of your boundaries, they probably won't care about any of them!

 

[THE MOLLIE MARIE]

To a degree, Because you let them. There is no reason that a 30 minute guessing game about your location should have been allowed to happen. This might be a dick thing to say but I’ve learned over the years that the biggest disrespect in camland usually comes from people we allow to disrespect us because we don’t want to “be mean” or lose a tipper. Fuck that. Be mean.

Yeah. I will tell them if they ask, "I'm from the states!" or "I'm on the west coast!" and mention that there is lots of other info that answers commonly asked quetions if they'd take a moment to peruse my profile. Like I said, I am not quick to kick or ban someone for sitting silently when they arrive. That's fine. If they choose to press for more information once I have given my first answer though, I just say, without any emotion so they can't claim that I was rude or whatever, "I wasn't vague by mistake so I'd appreciate it if you don't ask any further questions about my location." Or fill in the blank info. I figure that if they can't handle a plain and logical, not emotionally charged explanation of my boundaries, who needs em anyway? Saying it calmly and without being outwardly irritated about it is the key for me though. As annoying as it is, they don't realize that we get asked 123,456,789 times a day, so I can't fault them individually. I just have no patience if they can't figure out right away that they need to stop. And I am absolutely not going to let them play 20 questions over it, because then I *will* be mad and say mean things haha. I kick or ban long before it gets to that point. I don't have time for that kind of emotional vampirism.

 

[Lintilla]

I've literally never asked either of those questions. A member's location is not relevant to my shows, and as for their name - they have a display name, I call them by the first one or two syllables, or the first letter. If your username is bigcock87, I'm calling you B unless you tell me to call you Steve or whatever.

I think it's good to remember that the type of models we have here on this forum are not actually the majority. For a model whose native language is something other than English, "how are you?", "where are you from?"--those are going to be some easy things to ask to engage viewers. And as mentioned above, some of our viewers aren't necessarily fluent in English themselves. Even if almost no one who posts here would ever ask where a member is from, I'm not going to get crabby right off the bat about what really is just a small talk sort of question that they won't have had an issue with in the past. I've had plenty of members say to me "oh, I never had anyone think this was a problem before" (on many subjects), and I believe them. Unless I'm in a generally crabby mood, it isn't until they ignore a "no" from me and press the issue that I'll be bothered (even if I probably start out snarky, which I can't help.) I do often explain why some models won't be pleased to be asked such things. Most of the time they seem to understand. It's not my job to educate, but some days I can be slightly patient.

 

[SaffronBurke]

And I am absolutely not going to let them play 20 questions over it, because then I *will* be mad and say mean things haha. I kick or ban long before it gets to that point. I don't have time for that kind of emotional vampirism.

I let them get about 2-5 questions, depending on my mood that day, then a firm warning, then a ban.


I also think that banning dudes while they're reading your profile is a little silly. I don't even ban if they've been in my room for 20+ minutes, but I do add a note of "lurking/freewanker?" at that point and angle my cam higher up so there's less boob visible. I'm bitchy, but I'm not an outright asshole.

I've had quite a few gentlemen type almost immediately upon entering my room, something that indicates that they are reading my profile. I'm guessing that they developed this habit after being kicked a few too many times. But, even if they don't end up staying, I'm aware that they took the time to read my profile, which is A+ in my book.