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maryl022

Deactivated Account
Apr 22, 2022
4
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Curious as someone who’s boyfriend was a member of cam sites and how bad it has effected our relationship and sex life. I have read some of the forums about how you guys typically do t care if your members are married or in relationships, not really thinking about how their wives and girlfriends might feel which is cheated on and betrayed. So I’m curious if your same opinion applies if it were YOUR boyfriends or husbands watching other cam girls? Would that not bother you because you are one or would it bother you that your man decided you weren’t enough for him sexually and would rather disrespect you with other females?
 
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Apr 15, 2022
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Hey so first of all I am sorry you feel like this I don't think their is much I can say that will make you dislike me or my opinions any less but let me try to put my point of view across.
So I have a boyfriend well partner we have been together 4 years.
So I don't think that you have been cheated on at all. Can you remember 50 shades of grey and how many women read that book do you think all of those women where cheating on their husband's by reading the book? I'm guessing not however it was fantasy that ultimately was written to turn you on and to have a release and somewhere to escape to.
Web cam girls are not really very much diffrent we are a fantasy we provide a service and a release away from normal live.
Your partner or any partner that goes to see a webcam girl or guy for that matter is not cheating they are simply going into a virtual world that can help them release tension. Your partner is not out in a bar picking women up and actually doing anything with then he is simply living out a fantasy the same as any erotic book.
The next question I feel you may have for me is would I have a problem is my partner was to indulge in going onto webcam sites to talk to the girls and my anwser for all the reasons I have given above would be absolutely not. If he was to do anything within real live then yes I would have a massive problem.
My advice would be to go and have a look with him and find someone you both like and spend time with him making this an mutual interest I can only see it making a sex live better.
 
Apr 17, 2021
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It is not good that you feel this way. Have you spoken to your husband about how you feel? Open, honest, non-judgemental communication in a relationship is paramount.

Cam sites are fantasy, visiting them does not really constitute "cheating".
The fact that he visits such sites does not necessarily mean he finds you less appealing.

But ultimately you and he have some serious discussions ahead I think.
 

Catwave

Cam Model
Nov 3, 2021
31
63
6
Twitter Username
@CatwaveLuna
MFC Username
Catwave
To be fair, cam models are so likely to keep hard boundaries with their members and not getting involved with them only sell a fantasy, different story if he went on Tinder to talk to girls, even if he never meets with any. Almost like I would trust cam models more than girls on dating sites for obvious reasons. He's hanging out on a cam site and so what? I don't like to control my S.O. like that, he's free to make meaningful relationships with other people, he's free to get pleasure from other sources. But most importantly whatever he would go, if the relationship is healthy then there should be communication about it and trust. IF not, just ask him and talk about it.

But I get it, I personally felt horrible the first time someone in my room approached me with a cheating fetish (me being unaware about the fetish), now I know some of them aren't even in a relationship, it's all fantasy. However still feel bad when someone comes in with the "my gf would kill me if she sees me here" or "I'm hiding from my gf for a moment" or even """compliments""" comparing me with their gfs feels disrespectful, uncomfortable to me and I never follow up those convos.
 
I guess my mindset is similar to my mindset when someone talks about a cheating partner. Do we blame the person they cheated with? Or is the person in the relationship responsible for respecting the boundaries of that relationship? What boundaries have been set, discussed, and agreed to? It's a relationship communication problem. If someone specifically sets out to go after someone they know isn't available, that is more questionable behavior on their part, but still then it is up to the person in the relationship to respect their partner and relationship.

It's not that I don't think it's scummy for people to be dishonest with a partner, or whatever other problems there might be. I just can't be responsible for other adults and their life choices. I'm sorry you are feeling hurt, and I hope you can figure things out with your partner or find another who accepts the boundaries you want to set.
 

melanieoncam

Cam Model
Sep 18, 2010
609
1,643
143
Cam models don't want your man. It's a job.

Do you also get angry if he watches porn? If you feel it's a dealbreaker you should discuss it with him. It would only make me angry if he didn't make enough money to afford it and was spending money he can't afford or if he was neglecting me in some way.
 

piercedcock78

Cam Model
Dec 6, 2021
167
234
16
United States
www.streamate.com
Twitter Username
@PCock78
Streamate Username
piercedcock78
Chaturbate Username
piercedcock_78
As I have said in other postings on here, I am in the business of selling a fantasy when I am on camera. It has nothing to do with nor any possibility of a real life encounter or hook up.
That said, I do believe in being sincere and not playing with peoples feelings. So if I sense that someone is taking it beyond a fantasy, I will always gently remind them of exactly what it is.

Beyond that, I am not in the business of asking people if they are married or otherwise attached. If they wish to tell me they can. However, that is entirely their business and not mine.
Without getting into direct details of my civilian life here is what I would say: I would not be upset in the least if a significant other or partner would watch cam shows, porn, etc.

However, because I am a cam model, I am well aware that it is nothing more than a fantasy. I hope that this helps.
 

Miss_Lollipop

Cam Model
Feb 7, 2011
7,538
37,959
293
www.miss-lollipop.com
Twitter Username
@MissLollipopMFC
MFC Username
Miss_Lollipop
Clips4Sale URL
http://clips4sale.com/store/46293/misslollipop
Curious as someone who’s boyfriend was a member of cam sites and how bad it has effected our relationship and sex life. I have read some of the forums about how you guys typically do t care if your members are married or in relationships, not really thinking about how their wives and girlfriends might feel which is cheated on and betrayed. So I’m curious if your same opinion applies if it were YOUR boyfriends or husbands watching other cam girls? Would that not bother you because you are one or would it bother you that your man decided you weren’t enough for him sexually and would rather disrespect you with other females?
I think you need to remember all relationships have different boundries. It's your partners obligation not to do things that break those boundries.

Example: in my parents relationship it would be a boundry for my parents to flirt with other people. If a waitress flirts with my father hoping to get a bigger tip do we blame her or my father for breaking the trust he has with my mother.

I encourage all the people that spend $$ on shows or services from me to be open and honest with their partners but I'm not responsible for their choices. Not my business either.
 

KMH

Cam Model
Mar 17, 2018
731
1,985
73
Sweden
Twitter Username
@certifiedhips
I would only be repeating what's already said ITT (I don't want to ruin your relationship, I'm fine with watching porn with/without my partner, etc) but I want to point out that by asking the models directly, you're asking the workers who understand that this is a job; it's just entertainment/fantasy. With that perspective, it's hard to find it threatening - but those are my personal boundaries, and it doesn't diminish you wanting something different.

I'm sorry this has caused issues in your relationship; I hope the boundaries were made clear early on. I hope you can find inner peace no matter what happens going forward
 
Mar 6, 2022
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Forgive me for saying this but your post is insinuating that cam models are immoral and to blame for your relationship difficulties and that is just messed up immature. Any model he visited is in the business of producing entertainment and that's it. She's doing nothing wrong.

I'm sorry your boyfriend's online activities hurt you but they were his actions and choices and he is an adult.
 

AudriTwo

Cam Model
Jul 25, 2014
8,832
33,130
293
Twitter Username
@audritwo
Streamate Username
audritwo
Curious as someone who’s boyfriend was a member of cam sites and how bad it has effected our relationship and sex life. I have read some of the forums about how you guys typically do t care if your members are married or in relationships, not really thinking about how their wives and girlfriends might feel which is cheated on and betrayed. So I’m curious if your same opinion applies if it were YOUR boyfriends or husbands watching other cam girls? Would that not bother you because you are one or would it bother you that your man decided you weren’t enough for him sexually and would rather disrespect you with other females?
do you know that cammodels on the other end are usually in relationships too? im not trying to sound like im being condescending, but most of us are in committed relationships and all have our own personal boundaries. my husband does watch other cammodels sometimes or is a subscriber to their onlyfans. my personal boundary is he cannot subscribe to any exgirlfriends or any of my RL friends who do sexwork because then the fantasy lines are blurred imo. he knows im not okay with this. i saw he was subbed to a friend once, and i had a calm adult conversation explaining why that hurts my feelings and makes me uncomfortable. if he breaks my boundaries now, thats on him, and not the person he subscribed too.

i also mean this with full sincerity and im sorry if it hurts, but men have a much MUCH higher libido than women thanks to all that testosterone. let's be realistic, are you available for sex anytime your partner wants it? no and vice versa. would you feel the same if your partner just looks at pornography magazines or vhs? or is it because he is communicating with live females? if you believe consuming pornography or certain kinds is cheating and disrespectful to your relationship that's valid. those are your boundaries but why are you shifting the blame to us models? im sorry you are hurt but im confused when this is an issue between you and your boyfriend... he's the one you need to be having a conversation with.

please read this blog post about partners who watch pornography. maybe this will help give you another perspective and help heal. please take care of yourself.
 
Apr 23, 2022
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To be fair, cam models are so likely to keep hard boundaries with their members and not getting involved with them only sell a fantasy, different story if he went on Tinder to talk to girls, even if he never meets with any. Almost like I would trust cam models more than girls on dating sites for obvious reasons. He's hanging out on a cam site and so what? I don't like to control my S.O. like that, he's free to make meaningful relationships with other people, he's free to get pleasure from other sources. But most importantly whatever he would go, if the relationship is healthy then there should be communication about it and trust. IF not, just ask him and talk about it.

But I get it, I personally felt horrible the first time someone in my room approached me with a cheating fetish (me being unaware about the fetish), now I know some of them aren't even in a relationship, it's all fantasy. However still feel bad when someone comes in with the "my gf would kill me if she sees me here" or "I'm hiding from my gf for a moment" or even """compliments""" comparing me with their gfs feels disrespectful, uncomfortable to me and I never follow up those convos.
Same! I had a guy come into my room the other night asking if he should blow his load for me (my husband and I can as a couple) or should he wait to do his wife the following day. My husband looked at me and was pretty disgusted as were definitely monogamous. I answered nicely saying I’m sure his wife would appreciate his load and he can do as he wishes. Wouldn’t you know the next night he came in saying he saved it but thought about me the whole time and his “load was the biggest he’s ever blown”. I was dumbfounded for words and all I could say was “I’m glad I could help”. But damn, my husband would be in pretty hot water if it were him and I found out.
 

maryl022

Deactivated Account
Apr 22, 2022
4
2
0
do you know that cammodels on the other end are usually in relationships too? im not trying to sound like im being condescending, but most of us are in committed relationships and all have our own personal boundaries. my husband does watch other cammodels sometimes or is a subscriber to their onlyfans. my personal boundary is he cannot subscribe to any exgirlfriends or any of my RL friends who do sexwork because then the fantasy lines are blurred imo. he knows im not okay with this. i saw he was subbed to a friend once, and i had a calm adult conversation explaining why that hurts my feelings and makes me uncomfortable. if he breaks my boundaries now, thats on him, and not the person he subscribed too.

i also mean this with full sincerity and im sorry if it hurts, but men have a much MUCH higher libido than women thanks to all that testosterone. let's be realistic, are you available for sex anytime your partner wants it? no and vice versa. would you feel the same if your partner just looks at pornography magazines or vhs? or is it because he is communicating with live females? if you believe consuming pornography or certain kinds is cheating and disrespectful to your relationship that's valid. those are your boundaries but why are you shifting the blame to us models? im sorry you are hurt but im confused when this is an issue between you and your boyfriend... he's the one you need to be having a conversation with.

please read this blog post about partners who watch pornography. maybe this will help give you another perspective and help heal. please take care of yourself.
I appreciate your reply and how respectful you are. I 100% understand it’s my boyfriends job to stop after I found out and set boundaries. He says it is an addiction though unfortunately. I love him and want to help but don’t know how. I we have a baby and this has effected our sex life, trust, finances and everything. Of course I can’t blame all of you
Hey so first of all I am sorry you feel like this I don't think their is much I can say that will make you dislike me or my opinions any less but let me try to put my point of view across.
So I have a boyfriend well partner we have been together 4 years.
So I don't think that you have been cheated on at all. Can you remember 50 shades of grey and how many women read that book do you think all of those women where cheating on their husband's by reading the book? I'm guessing not however it was fantasy that ultimately was written to turn you on and to have a release and somewhere to escape to.
Web cam girls are not really very much diffrent we are a fantasy we provide a service and a release away from normal live.
Your partner or any partner that goes to see a webcam girl or guy for that matter is not cheating they are simply going into a virtual world that can help them release tension. Your partner is not out in a bar picking women up and actually doing anything with then he is simply living out a fantasy the same as any erotic book.
The next question I feel you may have for me is would I have a problem is my partner was to indulge in going onto webcam sites to talk to the girls and my anwser for all the reasons I have given above would be absolutely not. If he was to do anything within real live then yes I would have a massive problem.
My advice would be to go and have a look with him and find someone you both like and spend time with him making this an mutual interest I can only see it making a sex live better.
I respect your input but you don’t get to decide if it’s cheating for me or not. I don’t compare to fifty shades of grey because one I’ve never read them nor have I seen the movies but also because reading a book is completely different from interacting with a real person, showing your bodies and masturbating, exchanging money, following their social media, messaging, etc. I was just curious if you follow the same standards as far as your own boyfriend or husband interacting with others in that way. And for you you’re ok with it and don’t consider it cheating. And that’s perfectly fine if you’re okay with it but others are not.
 

maryl022

Deactivated Account
Apr 22, 2022
4
2
0
I would only be repeating what's already said ITT (I don't want to ruin your relationship, I'm fine with watching porn with/without my partner, etc) but I want to point out that by asking the models directly, you're asking the workers who understand that this is a job; it's just entertainment/fantasy. With that perspective, it's hard to find it threatening - but those are my personal boundaries, and it doesn't diminish you wanting something different.

I'm sorry this has caused issues in your relationship; I hope the boundaries were made clear early on. I hope you can find inner peace no matter what happens going forward
Thank you!
 
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Reactions: KMH
Dec 4, 2020
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it’s my boyfriends job to stop after I found out and set boundaries. He says it is an addiction though unfortunately
it's going to be harder to work through it if the boundaries were set after the behaviour was discovered.
Because you will want that to stop, and he admits it is an addiction, so it is probably not a recent find for him.

I love him and want to help but don’t know how.
This is the most important thing, and the one that really matters.
Hopefully you can both have honest and respectful conversations and work this out.
Good luck 👍
 

AudriTwo

Cam Model
Jul 25, 2014
8,832
33,130
293
Twitter Username
@audritwo
Streamate Username
audritwo
I appreciate your reply and how respectful you are. I 100% understand it’s my boyfriends job to stop after I found out and set boundaries. He says it is an addiction though unfortunately. I love him and want to help but don’t know how. I we have a baby and this has effected our sex life, trust, finances and everything. Of course I can’t blame all of you
please know i respect and understand your boundaries, even if they differ from my own. i know ya deactivated your account here, but if you are still reading recommend you two go to couples counseling to communicate your issues in a neutral setting.it's a huge issue if he is cutting into household fiances, especially with a baby, to feed his porn addiction. that sexual dopamine can be addicting. if he is unwilling to get help, doesn't mean you shouldn't. you can still go to couples counseling without a partner, he's always welcome to join when he is ready to prioritize your relationship and family over his stupid weiner. im sure his weiner has its moments but right now it's stupid.

hope you have a better week. remember any of his issues do not define or reflect on you as a partner and a mother. you are worthy and your feelings are valid.
:h: take care of yourself bb.
 
Mar 6, 2022
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...He says it is an addiction though unfortunately. I love him and want to help but don’t know how. I we have a baby and this has effected our sex life, trust, finances and everything.

Oh dear. From the above, he's right about it being an addiction. It's hurt your relationship, family and finances and that is a clear indicator of addiction. It affects the brain and behaviour and capability to enjoy regular life pleasures.

I'm not a therapist or any way qualified to offer advice other than wholeheartedly suggest your boyfriend seek therapy (addiction is a condition, not a character fail) and that he stay away from cam sites, if necessary by deleting/banning his site account/s and turning the finances over to your management, at least for the duration until the dopamine hit driven craving simmers down. He is an adult but this is a special circumstance and forced abstinence to cut the damage and recover *is* doing a responsible thing.

And if I may further suggest - self-care for yourself too? You have every right to feel better and have relief and recovery from the strain.

I wish you all the very best. :h:
 
Mar 6, 2022
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Multitasking and not refreshing as I formulate a reply to find that AudriTwo said much of the same as I did as the OP walked - I really feel out of sync.
 

GraysonDrake

Cam Model
Jul 11, 2021
740
1,819
31
Nunya Village
allmylinks.com
Twitter Username
@fakegraydrake
Streamate Username
GraysonDrake
Chaturbate Username
graysondrake
Curious as someone who’s boyfriend was a member of cam sites and how bad it has effected our relationship and sex life. I have read some of the forums about how you guys typically do t care if your members are married or in relationships, not really thinking about how their wives and girlfriends might feel which is cheated on and betrayed. So I’m curious if your same opinion applies if it were YOUR boyfriends or husbands watching other cam girls?
Don't really care honestly. As long as he's not spending money we don't have on other people then it's fine with me.
TBH I'd probably be watching with him, we send each other porn all the time and when I'm creeping on other models for research purposes sometimes I'll be like "dude look she's so pretty" or "wow I just saw a girl do something really cool, come watch!"

Also the relationship statuses of my customers aren't any of my business, just like my relationship status isn't any of theirs. I dunno what to tell you 🤷‍♀️
Would that not bother you because you are one or would it bother you that your man decided you weren’t enough for him sexually and would rather disrespect you with other females?
It's funny how his private sex life is somehow disrespectful to *you* when it really doesn't have anything to do with you at all. You don't own his body or his orgasms. Imagine how sexist your post would sound if the genders were reversed!

Watching cam models doesn't mean that you're not "enough" for him either. 100% sexual compatibility is very rare, so having outlets to express yourself sexually that isn't your relationship is healthy I think, even if it's just the fantasies in your own head. I would hope you have some for yourself as well.

Some people like live porn, some people like to read erotica, some people like to watch videos. He's not putting you at risk for STI's, and assuming you don't share finances (or if you do and he budgets well for it with his own money) then it doesn't affect you financially either. So quite frankly the masturbatory habits of people who aren't you aren't really your business. Sharing those things with others is a show of trust and intimacy, but nobody is entitled to it.

I think instead of asking us how we'd feel in your shoes, the better question is to ask what in your relationship is preventing your partner from being more open about his sexuality? I get a lot of guys who have kinks their partners would never be into, and A LOT of them are deeply closeted about it and worried their partners will leave them or judge them if they try to talk about it. Some guys are married and are 99% satisfied with their relationships except they are into stuff they know their partner won't do, so they get their needs met elsewhere.

TL;DR: Learn to communicate and feel secure in your relationships and this will stop being a big deal for you.

EDIT: I'm also assuming that he's going about this in a healthy way, but if he isn't then that's a whole other issue and you have every right to be pissed if he's actively making your life harder because he can't self-regulate.
 
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Sep 20, 2020
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I will add my 2 cents. As much as you guys are defending your livelihood, I have seen multiple situations where relationships have been deeply affected by this job. Bear in mind that you represent a fraction only of the girls working online and your way of thinking would probably not be the same if you lived in a different country with much less opportunities to live a decent life.
 
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AudriTwo

Cam Model
Jul 25, 2014
8,832
33,130
293
Twitter Username
@audritwo
Streamate Username
audritwo
I will add my 2 cents. As much as you guys are defending your livelihood, I have seen multiple situations where relationships have been deeply affected by this job. Bear in mind that you represent a fraction only of the girls working online and your way of thinking would probably not be the same if you lived in a different country with much less opportunities to live a decent life.
any job can negatively affect your life. my husband working in an ambulance and experiencing daily trama negatively affected our relationship more than me camming. im afraid he probably has ptsd.

life is hard. opportunities aren't always available to people living in richer countries. those are still considered a privilege. judge your relationship individually instead of comparing it to people online complaining about theirs. you clearly have some prejudices towards camming with your other posts.
 
Mar 6, 2022
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I will add my 2 cents. As much as you guys are defending your livelihood, I have seen multiple situations where relationships have been deeply affected by this job. Bear in mind that you represent a fraction only of the girls working online and your way of thinking would probably not be the same if you lived in a different country with much less opportunities to live a decent life.

I don't know where you're getting the impression from reading this thread that people were defending their livelihood. People responded with straight advice and best wishes for the OP. And I really wonder what your own experience is that you have seen multiple relationships being affected by adult webcamming. Re opportunities, webcamming is part of the global gig economy, in case it escaped your notise.
 
Sep 20, 2020
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I know that you were all giving good advices but it's the impression I had quite a few times while reading some posts over the internet and in that forum, not in that particular topic but in general. There is nothing wrong about it but I just wanted to give you a point of view from the other side and to warn people that this job can have impact a relationship at some point :)
 

AudriTwo

Cam Model
Jul 25, 2014
8,832
33,130
293
Twitter Username
@audritwo
Streamate Username
audritwo
I know that you were all giving good advices but it's the impression I had quite a few times while reading some posts over the internet and in that forum, not in that particular topic but in general. There is nothing wrong about it but I just wanted to give you a point of view from the other side and to warn people that this job can have impact a relationship at some point :)
any job can impact a relationship and we cam models aren't responsible for others' relationships and their boundaries. people need to take responsibility for their own relationships instead of trying to shift the blame to us. it's so tiresome.
 
Sep 20, 2020
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Yeah to be honest I misread the first post and I thought that the OP was in a relationship with a model. I should have done an new topic to talk about that interesting subject but let's do it here now that we started.

Of course camgirls are not responsible of the way people handle their relationship but I personally disagree with your point of view and I think that this job would impact a couple way more than any other job, especially when your relationship is crossing a difficult time. How would you deal with your job in that situation? Things could get quickly worse. Some might be tempted to live the situation like that. Others more fragile would find an attentive ear with the viewers they have been close to instead of trying to solve things with their partner. Even if it would not be your case, that situation exists. I know it more than others since I picked up my best friend in pieces after he had to live that. It's impossible to predict how people would react in that case and that job doesn't help to solve things.

After that, it's up to each individual to see if he or she wants to prioritize his or her job or his or her relationship, but to deny that IN SOME CASES this job can have a greater impact on a couple than any other job would be lying.
 
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AudriTwo

Cam Model
Jul 25, 2014
8,832
33,130
293
Twitter Username
@audritwo
Streamate Username
audritwo
I personally disagree with your point of view and I think that this job would impact a relationship way more than any other one, especially when your couple is crossing a difficult time. How would you deal with your job in that situation? Things could get quickly worse. Some might be tempted to live the situation like that. Others more fragile would find an attentive ear with the viewers they have been close to instead of trying to solve things with their partner. Even if it would not be your case, that situation exists. I know it more than others since I picked up my best friend in pieces after he had to live that. It's impossible to predict how people would react in that case and that job doesn't help to solve things.
ANY JOB CAN IMPACT A RELATIONSHIP.
listen dude, you clearly have some prejudices towards camming and you can feel however you want towards it. you don't know the inners of my relationship, but i can tell you my husband's job had more of a negative impact on our relationship than my camming job.

if you believe camming will negatively impact your relationship, then it will. if you aren't comfortable with camming, don't date a cammodel. if your girlfriend doesn't want to quit, well there you go. camming negatively impacted your relationship because of your problems with it.

After that, it's up to each individual to see if he or she wants to prioritize his or her job or his or her relationship, but to deny that IN SOME CASES this job can have a greater impact on a couple than any other job would be lying.
easily can prioritize both, but if two people can't compromise or be comfortable with each other's profession, then it's time to get off the internet and go to couples counseling.
 
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