My daughter wants to try out for Varsity Football

[Poker_Babe]

But a bunch of my friends are telling me not to let her do it. I'm feeling torn on what I should do here. What do you guys think?

 

[JerryBoBerry]

But a bunch of my friends are telling me not to let her do it. I'm feeling torn on what I should do here. What do you guys think?

If she can pass the trial, let her. Women's lib! Girl Power! Equality Now! and all those other sayings.

 

[HarmlessSquirrel]

Based on what we've been hearing about concussions in football lately, I'd be wary of it, not because she's a girl but because it's risky for anybody.

 

[Shaun__]

I never payed attention to them, but I think my high school team had a girl on it.

 

[PunkInDrublic]

Tough call. I say support her but make sure to go over a few of these things. Very violent sport, make sure she knows all the possible injuries and abuse the body will take. She will make a lot of the opponents and teammates extremely uncomfortable as well. Nobody wants to be the guy that injures the girl on a huge hit(would look ridiculous when you go to talk shit/celebrate the hit) and nobody wants to be the guy that gets laid out by the girl.

 

[ThePrincessLuxy]

As her mother, I think the best thing to do is to let her flourish as a person. Regardless of what it may be.

 

[Crumb]

warn her of the risks, then if she still wants to, let her. let her make an informed choice.

 

[SatanJonez]

warn her of the risks, then if she still wants to, let her. let her make an informed choice.

This. I'd be worried about her getting hurt, but other than that I'd let her decide after telling her the risks involved.

 

[Rose]

Swap football for ballet, cheerleading, gymnastics or softball; now what's your answer? Alrighty then, go with that. Problem solved.

These damn gender boxes need to be thrown out already. This outdated thinking of "I can't let my son/daughter do X because it's a female/male stereotypical game" is just ridiculous. Of course sports are dangerous, but if she wants to try then why is there an issue with letting her. If she was a boy, this probably wouldn't even be up for discussion. :twocents-02cents:

 

[HarmlessSquirrel]

Swap football for ballet, cheerleading, gymnastics or softball; now what's your answer? Alrighty then, go with that. Problem solved.

These damn gender boxes need to be thrown out already. This outdated thinking of "I can't let my son/daughter do X because it's a female/male stereotypical game" is just ridiculous. Of course sports are dangerous, but if she wants to try then why is there an issue with letting her. If she was a boy, this probably wouldn't even be up for discussion. :twocents-02cents:

Actually, it would be. Football is in another category of dangerous. Concussions are alarmingly frequent, and it is believed that they often have serious long-term effects. A well-known sports show host in New York said he was going to have to seriously consider whether his sons should play football, and this guy is someone who loves the sport.

I doubt many of us at all on this forum would take the position that "girls can't do that." My point is that it's something you should consider carefully for any kid (or adult for that matter), girl or boy.

I will say this: just trying out is probably not very dangerous, but if she made the team and was in actual games and serious practices, it could be.

 

[Red7227]

But a bunch of my friends are telling me not to let her do it. I'm feeling torn on what I should do here. What do you guys think?

How old is she? What position does she want to play in?

If she is sporty and active and has been for her whole life then there won't be any unusual physical risks involved. If she has never been much for sport and has suddenly decided she wants to be an offensive linesman then maybe there is an issue.

Compared to being crippled by arthritis by the age of 25 from ballet, or dying from falling off a horse, its actually pretty safe.

 

[Poker_Babe]

But a bunch of my friends are telling me not to let her do it. I'm feeling torn on what I should do here. What do you guys think?

How old is she? What position does she want to play in?

If she is sporty and active and has been for her whole life then there won't be any unusual physical risks involved. If she has never been much for sport and has suddenly decided she wants to be an offensive linesman then maybe there is an issue.

Compared to being crippled by arthritis by the age of 25 from ballet, or dying from falling off a horse, its actually pretty safe.

She's 15, not sure what position she wants to play yet. She's a jock. I've had her in sports since the age of 4. Although it was always martial arts. She's already had two injuries from just playing foot ball with her friends. First time she was out with her uncles and came home on crutches about a month ago. Her arm is in a sling at this very moment from hurting her shoulder from the last time she played.
When I was in High School, I remember a female friend of mine was on the team (although it wasn't varsity) but I can't say that I ever remember her getting injured or singled out, but then again she could have and maybe I just didn't notice it. I'd just ask her opinion on it but she passed away a few years ago.
My older brother was on the varsity team, and he was very athletic, but even he ended up getting some long term injuries from the sport. He has a mild case of scoliosis as a result.

 

[SexySteph]

I say let her. Injuries are a risk but I think that's her choice to make. I think that if it was a boy no one would be that concerned about injuries, I think everyone is aware that football can be incredibly dangerous and there are still enough kids trying out for football every year that not everyone makes the team. Just make sure she is aware of the risks, but I doubt she'll care.

I think when it comes to things like sports, extra-curriculars, universities, etc it should never be a question of "allowing" your children to do it. The only thing you shouldn't "allow" your kids to do is murder, rape, sell drugs and get drunk in your house. Otherwise I think as long as they're not endagering themselves and others (and I don't think sports count as endangering even if their are risks) it should be their choice.

I hope this doesn't come across rude, it just bothers me how many things parents won't let their kids do sometimes. Timmy can't do theater because he might get beat up, Suzie can't play football or wrestle because she might get hurt or people won't like her, Sarah can't take art class because it's not useful, etc.

 

[Crystal_Cat]

well my mom didn't let my brother try out for football because of how dangerous it can be, so that part is not limited to just girls. I think he is slightly resentful about it tho even now. And yeah, when I was 11, I wanted to go to this art school for writing but wasn't allowed for various reasons. And I still think I should have gone. Yes, she's your child and you want to keep her safe but you can't keep her from living her life. If football is going to make her happy, I say let her. There will be lots of risky things she wants to do in life. Driving a car is risky. Eating sushi is risky. Better she gets involved with foot ball than druggies.

 

[HiGirlsRHot]

I am not sure how aware people are of the recent (within the last couple years) research that is showing the long term effect of concussions caused by playing football. It isn't the broken bones or torn ACL that is the danger. It is finding at age 50 you have Alzheimer's disease because of all the trauma your brain suffered when getting hit by 200lbs guys at running into you at full speed.

The NFL just settled a lawsuit for $765 million (that is almost 10% of the leagues annual revenue). 4500 out of 18,000 former pro players are thought to suffered brain injuries from playing football. That is in 1 in 4. In contrast you have about 1 in 300 chance each year suffering a serious permanent injury from an auto accident.

High school players are thought have twice the risk of concussion as college players, and it is worth noting that these studies were funded by the NFL. So they have every reason to try and minimize the dangers involved.

Pokerbabe both you and your daughter should watch this frontline documentary
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/league-of-denial/

I have several male friends who are big footballs fans but after watching this are seriously reevaluating letting their kids participate in full contact football.

 

[Red7227]

Pokerbabe both you and your daughter should watch this frontline documentary
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/league-of-denial/

I agree that she should see the video, but kids think they are immortal, so the video may have no influence. It might still be safer than a lot of other sports she may decide to try.

Lots of sports have similar horror stories. Sport is dangerous. Riding and Ballet I have previously mentioned for their propensity to destroy lives. Playing an instrument can likewise cripple children. Horse riding in Victoria Australia in 1998 was found to have the following rate of hospitalisation

One injury for 100 hours of leisure riding;
One injury for five hours for amateur racing over jumps;
One injury for one hour of cross-country eventing.

Canada has one fatality a year per 10,000 riders and the Netherlands 1 fatality per 100,000 riders per year. All of my horsie friends know these facts and don't care.

http://www.thehorse.com/articles/10102/ ... n-injuries

 

[KylieJacobs]

warn her of the risks, then if she still wants to, let her. let her make an informed choice.

This. I'd be worried about her getting hurt, but other than that I'd let her decide after telling her the risks involved.

I agree with the above!

My son is a little younger, but he plays football. He knows the risks. I heard rumors about another kid his age getting paralyzed from football which scares the crap out of me!!!

I asked him if he was still interested in playing next year, and he wants to. I have to keep telling myself that most of these serious injuries like this are very rare...or at least I hope they are!

 

[HiGirlsRHot]

Pokerbabe both you and your daughter should watch this frontline documentary
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/league-of-denial/

I agree that she should see the video, but kids think they are immortal, so the video may have no influence. It might still be safer than a lot of other sports she may decide to try.

Lots of sports have similar horror stories. Sport is dangerous. Riding and Ballet I have previously mentioned for their propensity to destroy lives. Playing an instrument can likewise cripple children. Horse riding in Victoria Australia in 1998 was found to have the following rate of hospitalisation

One injury for 100 hours of leisure riding;
One injury for five hours for amateur racing over jumps;
One injury for one hour of cross-country eventing.

Canada has one fatality a year per 10,000 riders and the Netherlands 1 fatality per 100,000 riders per year. All of my horsie friends know these facts and don't care.

http://www.thehorse.com/articles/10102/ ... n-injuries

Yes plenty of sports are dangerous, especially when you are competing at the top levels. I am hard pressed to think of any sport (IDK ping pong maybe) that doesn't have serious injuries. I don't think one 1 in 10,000 or 1 in 100,000 fatalities seems particularly dangerous, but falling of your horse riding cross country and getting hurt every hour does sound dangerous.

Everybody knows that injuries are part of football, broken bones, torn ligaments etc. Sometimes they can cause permanent injuries, but generally they just sideline a person for a few months.
The huge change is recent research on just how prevalent long term brain injuries are. If finding out that long term horse back riding desensitized the sex organs so much that out of 1 of 4 men became impotent and 1 of 4 woman were unable to have orgasm. I think that would change the sport.

But if a long term football career means you have 1 chance in 4 of get early Alzheimer's, that is holy shit scary, if you ever been around people with Alzheimer's

 

[RedneckHick]

I have to side with your friends on this one for the simple fact that women don't belong in football. She should be taking Home Ec and making sure she has all the required skills of a good wife. My :twocents-02cents:

All joking aside, if I did have a daughter who wanted to try out and had the physical ability and talent to play, I would support her. I would be more protective of her and have a greater fear of her getting hurt than for a boy, experience and history has proven that about me but let's be honest, how proud would you be if she did make the team?

Imagine being at a game and telling the opposing team that one of their players just got schooled by your daughter. Oh Snap!!!

Not always easy being a parent. Good luck.

 

[CallMeWilliam]

Most of the comments are about her getting physically injured from the sport (not sure if people are skirting the issue or not), my concern would be what happens (and it probably will) when she becomes the target of sexism; how will she, the organization and the other players react to it. Lets face it football is a ego strong testosterone driven sport where peer pressure drives it's members to do things they would normally not do.

However I do think that she should be given the chance to try-out and if good enough be able to play in a sexism/racism free environment.

:twocents-02cents:

 

[Just Me]

With the current information about head trauma, I would be hesitant to let children of any sex play football. It is not the major blows that cause a concussion that is the issue, it is the frequent constant small hits to the head (depending on the position) that worry me and the people studying this issue. That being said, I am not sure there is much cause for alarm if they only play high school football and are not making a career of it. I have not seen or heard many anecdotes of people that only played in high school having major brain issues later in life that could be attributed to just playing football. You still have to worry about major injuries but you can have that in just about any sport.

 

[Poker_Babe]

I went into a chatroom last night and asked everyone's opinion about it. Needless to say it instantly sparked a huge debate among everyone. But I did get a couple of guys PM me and tell me that when they where in high school, they had a girl on the team, and they all singled her out and tried to hurt her every chance they got. I'm hoping that times have changed enough that it's not like that anymore. To tell the truth, I didn't think anything wrong with it when she first told me that she wanted to play until my friends started telling all the reason why they thought it was a bad idea.
I don't want to hold my kids back from doing something that would make them happy, but I want to do my best to help them make the right decisions and keep them safe. And I know that they need to grow up to be their own person.
That being said... I do have a feeling that there's an arterial motive behind her wanting to play though. I think it has more to do with a boy she has a crush on, than her love for the sport.

Thank you for the video HiGirlsRHot, I'm gonna check out the link tonight.

 

[Sevrin]

Kids think they're immortal. A 15-year-old is not capable of exercising the judgment required to evaluate the risk of suffering a debilitating concussion. Their brains are not sufficiently developed.

It's up to you to do your research on the risks and decide whether you think they are acceptable for your child. For best results, you may want to have your daughter do the research along with you. That way, even if you decide against it, she will understand your reasons.

 

[lexmark402003]

But a bunch of my friends are telling me not to let her do it. I'm feeling torn on what I should do here. What do you guys think?

How old is she? What position does she want to play in?

If she is sporty and active and has been for her whole life then there won't be any unusual physical risks involved. If she has never been much for sport and has suddenly decided she wants to be an offensive linesman then maybe there is an issue.

Compared to being crippled by arthritis by the age of 25 from ballet, or dying from falling off a horse, its actually pretty safe.

She's 15, not sure what position she wants to play yet. She's a jock. I've had her in sports since the age of 4. Although it was always martial arts. She's already had two injuries from just playing foot ball with her friends. First time she was out with her uncles and came home on crutches about a month ago. Her arm is in a sling at this very moment from hurting her shoulder from the last time she played.
When I was in High School, I remember a female friend of mine was on the team (although it wasn't varsity) but I can't say that I ever remember her getting injured or singled out, but then again she could have and maybe I just didn't notice it. I'd just ask her opinion on it but she passed away a few years ago.
My older brother was on the varsity team, and he was very athletic, but even he ended up getting some long term injuries from the sport. He has a mild case of scoliosis as a result.

Unless she's huge and unbelievably strong for a female, she's probably going to get killed (unless she wants to be the kicker where she likely won't get hit).

The guys are just going to be so much bigger and stronger (and probably faster, too), that she could get hurt pretty badly. Football is a tough sport for a 180-lb male. If she's a 150-lb "fit" female, she's going to get crushed. Even the smaller and weaker guys will likely be able to rag doll her (a 150-lb male will likely be much stronger than a 150-lb female).

If it was my daughter, I'd try to channel her into something a bit less violent (cross country), or if she does play a team sport, have her play soccer or field hockey against girls, where she's not going to be at an extreme size and strength disadvantage.

This, of course, all goes out the window if your daughter is 220 lbs and can bench 185.

 

[vaderface11]

When I played in high school there was a girl who was a on the varsity team as the kicker, the other varsity kicker (a boy) and she were pretty much detached from the team during practice, other than in the weight room or during conditioning. That being said if she won't be a kicker and she feels she can compete and she can deal with the possibility of not playing during games or not even making the team then i say let her try. If the main concern you have is injuries then maybe you should talk to the coach. Also if she really does only want to play football to be closer to a boy, then my school had team "managers" who were basically water "boys" , although they had other responsibilities and were often girls.

 

[sanjisan]

You know your daughter and you know/will soon know the sports. You don't know the guys that give you advise on the internet. Maybe think of what guys would tell you if you asked them about your daughter wants to do martial arts.

 

[sanjisan]

forget it, sevrin said it all in the second paragraph. I fully agree with him. just missed his post.I think I will pm him whenever I have troubles with my children. :lol:

 

[Jillybean]

I'm running out of time so I couldn't read all the replies. Sorry guys!

It's really easy for me, someone who has no idea what it's like to be a mom, to say "of course you should let her! You are her MOM, you should want to encourage her to do whatever makes her happy!"

But it's more complicated than that. If she doesn't make it, or if she meets some (what's the word...) ... fuck. I need coffee. If she is looked down on for being a girl, and not given a chance because of that. Basically, if this experience turns into one that makes her very sad, you will be thinking to yourself, "I never should have let her do that."

Well, I'm going to say that you can't shelter her from things like this forever. If she wants to give it a shot, let her give it a shot! If it turns out to make her sad, just be there to clean up the tears and talk shit about the sexist coach!

There's nothing she can't do! And high school football is dangerous! Those guys are fucking huge! They're like trucks! O_O So, I mean, look at the enemy teams around the area, and if they look really huge, let her know that guy is going to be knocking her over!

 

[JJasione]

Out of curiosity/stupidity from my position as little English girl who only ever watches American football for the arses in tight pants...

If it really is that dangerous as a sport why are things not being changed to make it less dangerous? Or are they?

One injury for 100 hours of leisure riding;
One injury for five hours for amateur racing over jumps;
One injury for one hour of cross-country eventing.

Canada has one fatality a year per 10,000 riders and the Netherlands 1 fatality per 100,000 riders per year. All of my horsie friends know these facts and don't care.

^This is very true though. I've been on the back of a horse since I was old enough to hang on and I've lost count of the number of injuries I've from training/showing. I've been concussed, trampled, had broken bones, torn ligaments, black eyes, dislocations... I imagine it's the same mentality for most sports though. If you love it enough you keep at it either way.

 

[CharlotteLace]

Out of curiosity/stupidity from my position as little English girl who only ever watches American football for the arses in tight pants...

If it really is that dangerous as a sport why are things not being changed to make it less dangerous? Or are they?

The big issue is that football is a very ingrained tradition in American culture, and people are dragging their heels to change it because they don't want to change the sport they've always loved. Which is understandable, but a bit foolish given the evidence of brain damage to long-time players.

I still have an issue with the equestrian statistics, though. The point of riding is not to fall off or get trampled, it just happens sometimes (and often to people who don't know how to handle 1200 lb prey animals, thus increasing the risk of injury.) On the other hand, crashing into others/getting knocked down is one of the biggest aspects of football, isn't it? I mean, where would a defensive line be if they couldn't tackle? So it's not really a matter of if a football player gets hurt, but more a matter of when, and how bad.

Then again, what's a good life story without some scars?