My GF is a Cam Girl

[Carlitos]

I Love My GF passionately, she is a cam performer.

I deal with it most of the time, sometimes I don't. I do not say anything about it, but it builds inside me. And no, I am not leaving her. I love her.

Ladies, I need your advice.

How do I bring it up? I want to be supportive every step of the way. Should I even talk about it, ask about it? Will she feel better if we talk about it? Will she feel worse if we do? What can I do? I do not want us to feel like if we have separate and secret lives. What is safe to talk about? What would be uncomfortable for her?

I just want to do what is best for our relationship. I want to be understanding, loving and supportive. It is part of our life, but I do not know what to say, what to do, how to act.

How would you want your BF / Husband to do, act like?

Thank you so much. I really need your advice. I want to do the best for her, for us.

Carlos

 

[Kunra9]

Soooo she doesn't know that you know?

 

[Evvie]

I Love My GF passionately, she is a cam performer.

I deal with it most of the time, sometimes I don't. I do not say anything about it, but it builds inside me. And no, I am not leaving her. I love her.

Ladies, I need your advice.

How do I bring it up? I want to be supportive every step of the way. Should I even talk about it, ask about it? Will she feel better if we talk about it? Will she feel worse if we do? What can I do? I do not want us to feel like if we have separate and secret lives. What is safe to talk about? What would be uncomfortable for her?

I just want to do what is best for our relationship. I want to be understanding, loving and supportive. It is part of our life, but I do not know what to say, what to do, how to act.

How would you want your BF / Husband to do, act like?

Thank you so much. I really need your advice. I want to do the best for her, for us.

Carlos

I cannot say if your girlfriend would feel better if you talked about it. It's not like we know her better than you do.

If you are having some jealousy or anxiety issues, I think a good way to approach her would be, "Hey babe, do you have time to talk? I know I don't mention it much, but even though I support you 100%, sometimes I feel a little ______ when you cam. What are your thoughts on that?"

 

[SatanJonez]

Pin point what you are having difficulty dealing with and talk to her about it. Make sure you know before hand EXACTLY what you want to tell her that has been bothering you about her job. Coming at it vaguely will make it seem like you're against the entire idea of it, instead of just having issues dealing with certain aspects of it. Also, what Evvie said (as usual) is a good way to start the conversation.

 

[Carlitos]

Yes, she knows I know. I've always known, but it is not a subject we talk about often, but it is hanging there.

I am just seeking a way we can deal with it, be open about it, talk about it. It is part of our lives. But I want to do it in a way that will not bring shame, bad feelings, misunderstandings, or negativity. I honestly can't be a cheerleader and say that is what I want her to do, but at the same time I absolutely respect her choice and her reasons for doing so.

I just want her to know I am by her side and with her, no matter what.

 

[LilyMarie]

Yeah, what Evvie and Frankie already said.
Also, you say you don't talk about her job often. Maybe the concerns that you have are based on nothing? Maybe she doesn't even do the things that you're afraid of? For example, maybe you're worried about her watching the cams of other members in her room - and maybe she doesn't even do that, but you won't know until you talk to her. I can imagine that being very open about what you do and don't do on cam will make a lot of difference in the eyes of a boyfriend.

 

[Kunra9]

I'm not exactly sure what the issue is. You haven't really said.

If she feels there is no issue and you bring it up out of nowhere it may start a fight.

Why not ease into it?
Ask her about it just like it's a normal job.

Couples ask eachother things like "How was work today?"

So try asking her some time "Hey howd it go last night? Did ya have a good night on cam?"

And leave it at that. Start asking about it more often, just as casual conversation and you can build up a comfort zone with the subject. And then try to take it on as a serious subject.

 

[MrRodry]

Then do it, if you feel like she wants to talk about it, let her know how you feel and what you think about her work and bring it up. I believe you are not going to find the right or the wrong way to bring that up on the internet, because "we" don't know how your relationship with her works.

 

[Nordling]

If you knew about it from the moment when she became your SO, then I'd say you should deal with yourself. No disrespect, but you came into her life and supported her as she was, right? Try to figure out why you're having problems with her job, and deal with them without bugging her with it. Otherwise, it'll keep eating you and you'll become a creepy person and the relationship will crumble anyway.

Disclaimer: If I fell in love with a cam girl, I doubt I'd be able to accept her occupation if we became a "pair"...so, I'd keep it in a "friends" zone from the beginning, unless I knew she'd quit...but if so, be willing to maintain her current lifestyle, since she'll be out of a job. Would she want to be dependent on you for the foreseeable future? Are you able and willing to do that if she does?

 

[BetsyBooty]

Yes, she knows I know. I've always known, but it is not a subject we talk about often, but it is hanging there.

I am just seeking a way we can deal with it, be open about it, talk about it. It is part of our lives. But I want to do it in a way that will not bring shame, bad feelings, misunderstandings, or negativity. I honestly can't be a cheerleader and say that is what I want her to do, but at the same time I absolutely respect her choice and her reasons for doing so.

I just want her to know I am by her side and with her, no matter what.

Perhaps I am misreading, but...the tone of this kinda sounds like you may consider camming to be obviously "icky" in some way. We, being camgirls, tend not to assume there is anything shameful or otherwise unfortunate about being a camgirl.

I mention this not to give you a hard time, but because I think it may be an important factor in working through the matter with your girlfriend. It might be a great favor to her if you could examine your own assumptions about camming, and, as suggested above, pinpoint what bothers you about her job. There is a big difference, in my opinion, between an "I wish I could be the only person who sees you naked" type of objection and a "what you do just seems wrong to me" type of objection. Since you seem to care about her very much, I imagine this stuff would be worth thinking over carefully on your own before you talk to her. Good luck!

 

[Evvie]

Yes, she knows I know. I've always known, but it is not a subject we talk about often, but it is hanging there.

I am just seeking a way we can deal with it, be open about it, talk about it. It is part of our lives. But I want to do it in a way that will not bring shame, bad feelings, misunderstandings, or negativity. I honestly can't be a cheerleader and say that is what I want her to do, but at the same time I absolutely respect her choice and her reasons for doing so.

I just want her to know I am by her side and with her, no matter what.

More thoughts, in no order:

♥ It is perfectly okay to support someone 100% but not support what they are doing 100%.
♥ If you try to bring it up, and her first reaction is shame and bad feelings, perhaps she does not really want to cam but she feels she is being forced to do so. Alternatively, perhaps she feels that you look down on her for doing it. My point is, shame should not be an initial reaction when someone brings up camming.
♥ In my past relationship, I found that when my boyfriend got too involved with what I did, he would give me suggestions or try to change things that in my opinion were just fine how they were. I would avoid giving her suggestions or telling her she should do things differently.
♥ I am perfectly fine telling people about my cam life in detail, but I just feel silly talking about the sex acts I perform, even if I am very close to the person. Sometimes it's not a matter of trust or secrecy, it's a matter of being a little embarrassed.
♥ If she says something, even if you don't like it, doesn't mean she's lying about it. Let us pretend that you are very jealous about how much time she spends talking to other men. If she says, "I don't have any emotional attachment to any of the members," it may be best just to believe her instead of being suspicious. Jealousy doesn't disappear as easily as that, but it is very easy to have feelings founded on nothing.

Also, as said, if there is something specific you want to talk about, specifically mention it. It shouldn't be her job to figure out what's bothering you; it's your job to share your feelings.

 

[Miranda Wilde]

You sound like a good boyfriend, reaching out to try to keep a healthy relationship is very honorable. In my opinion, I think you should just come out and talk to her. Ask her what it's all about and how she is with the customers and what she does. Let her know that sometimes you feel off about it. You do deserve to know because she is your other half. If you had a job that she was uncomfortable with I think you seem like the kind of person who would be willing to talk to her about it and make her feel at ease. If she's at all as understanding as you, she will be open about it and maybe set your mind at ease. Letting it build up in you is only going to cause trust issues because you're going to over work your mind. Don't beat around the bush, just talk to her. Communication in a relationship is vital.

 

[Sevrin]

Are you saying that the subject of what your GF does has never come up between you? Most girls would wonder what their BF thinks of their work in the adult industry. I've had a model ask me what I would think of having a GF in the business, just generally as a guy. She doesn't need to feel ashamed of her work to understand that a guy with whom they are intimate with might feel a little insecure about their GF simulating intimacy with others on a daily basis even if it's for money.

That's a pretty big elephant in the room. What exactly do you guys talk about?

 

[PlayboyMegan]

Are you saying that the subject of what your GF does has never come up between you? Most girls would wonder what their BF thinks of their work in the adult industry. I've had a model ask me what I would think of having a GF in the business, just generally as a guy. She doesn't need to feel ashamed of her work to understand that a guy with whom they are intimate with might feel a little insecure about their GF simulating intimacy with others on a daily basis even if it's for money.

That's a pretty big elephant in the room. What exactly do you guys talk about?

Seriously. If camming is her main job and people put so much energy and time into their jobs, how do you not talk about it??? Both my boyfriend and I are career driven and about 50% of our conversations are about work. We live it over 10hours a day, there is SO much to talk about daily, I couldn't imagine not bringing it up. The room would be almost silent half the time.

 

[curvyredhead]

No way hommie!

My GF is a Cam Girl to!

Small world.

 

[Neudiin]

After reading this I am still unclear what it is you are having a problem with. Is it you both don't talk about the fact she is a cam girl? Is it something she does while working?

Because as Megan said, I used to talk to all my GFs about my day at work and them about theirs. I'd feel weird not being able to do that. So she may think that you hate that she is a cam girl because you don't ask. I think starting off asking how her day was? how was work? These are normal questions people in relationships ask. But you have to talk about issues otherwise that shit builds and builds then a little nothing sets you off and you explode all that built up resentment or whatever it is you are feeling. Just because its you that has the issue doesn't mean you have to deal with it alone, that's just asinine. You are in a relationship and if you can't talk about what is bothering you, then there is something very wrong with that relationship.

 

[ScarletVixen]

"My GF is a Cam Girl"


Congratulations! :-D

 

[mynameisbob84]

I Love My GF passionately, she is a cam performer.

I'm not sure I see the problem.

I love my girlfriend passionately but she's a serial shagger of people who aren't me - problem
I love my girlfriend passionately but she keeps on coming home with disembodied hands and feet in her purse - problem
I love my girlfriend passionately but she's a warlord - problem
I love my girlfriend passionately but she's a vigilante who's recently got mixed up in organised crime lol - problem
I love my girlfriend passionately but she's a cam girl - prob...lem?

I dunno, maybe I'm oversimplifying things and being naive but if the first part of that sentence is accurate, then the second part is surely no big deal :twocents-02cents:

 

[bob]

I Love My GF passionately, she is a cam performer.

I'm not sure I see the problem.

I love my girlfriend passionately but she's a serial shagger of people who aren't me - problem
I love my girlfriend passionately but she keeps on coming home with disembodied hands and feet in her purse - problem
I love my girlfriend passionately but she's a warlord - problem
I love my girlfriend passionately but she's a vigilante who's recently got mixed up in organised crime lol - problem
I love my girlfriend passionately but she's a cam girl - prob...lem?

I dunno, maybe I'm oversimplifying things and being naive but if the first part of that sentence is accurate, then the second part is surely no big deal :twocents-02cents:

true dat.....but there's a threshold for everything.....probably what this thread is about....or will be about....or might have been about....

 

[BobbyB]

Maybe just visit her room and say hello to her

Then you know what is going on ....

 

[Miranda Wilde]

Maybe just visit her room and say hello to her

Then you know what is going on ....

9.999999999999999 x out of 10 we block our own region for safety of anyone we know entering the room. So he won't be able to see her most likely. Not a good idea anyway if he has any discomfort about what she does. Sneaking in on her and 'surprising' her with a visit could really screw up the trust in that relationship. Not that that's supposed to make him feel better lol. But it's the truth. That's why it's so important that you just talk to her about it if you feel like it's bothering you Carlos.

 

[LilyEvans]

I Love My GF passionately, she is a cam performer.

I'm not sure I see the problem.

I love my girlfriend passionately but she's a serial shagger of people who aren't me - problem
I love my girlfriend passionately but she keeps on coming home with disembodied hands and feet in her purse - problem
I love my girlfriend passionately but she's a warlord - problem
I love my girlfriend passionately but she's a vigilante who's recently got mixed up in organised crime lol - problem
I love my girlfriend passionately but she's a cam girl - prob...lem?

I dunno, maybe I'm oversimplifying things and being naive but if the first part of that sentence is accurate, then the second part is surely no big deal :twocents-02cents:

I think that's a little harsh. I mean not that there is any shame in camming, but I can see how "I love my girlfriend passionately but she shows her naked body to hundreds of men a day and performs sex acts for men who are not me" could be a problem.

Perhaps it is better said like this:

A person who is ok with his girlfriend being a model may not be ok with her being a lingerie model.
A person who is ok with his girlfriend being a lingerie model may not be ok with her being a burlesque dancer.
A person who is ok with his girlfriend being a burlesque dancer may not be ok with her being a dancer in a club.
A person who is ok with his girlfriend being a dancer may not be ok with her being a camgirl.
A person who is ok with his girlfriend being a camgirl may not be ok with her being a escort.

To OP:

Talk to her about any concerns you have, at a moment when you guys are just relaxed and happy. I know I get anxious when my boyfriend doesn't talk to me about it-- because it is my job, and because I definitely want to know if he is ever uncomfortable with it. Just be sure to know exactly what makes you uncomfortable so you can figure out why it does-- together. It will probably be a relief for her to be able to discuss it with you like any "normal" job, and you can air your opinions and probably come to a compromise on something you are both comfortable with.

 

[mynameisbob84]

I Love My GF passionately, she is a cam performer.

I'm not sure I see the problem.

I love my girlfriend passionately but she's a serial shagger of people who aren't me - problem
I love my girlfriend passionately but she keeps on coming home with disembodied hands and feet in her purse - problem
I love my girlfriend passionately but she's a warlord - problem
I love my girlfriend passionately but she's a vigilante who's recently got mixed up in organised crime lol - problem
I love my girlfriend passionately but she's a cam girl - prob...lem?

I dunno, maybe I'm oversimplifying things and being naive but if the first part of that sentence is accurate, then the second part is surely no big deal :twocents-02cents:

I think that's a little harsh. I mean not that there is any shame in camming, but I can see how "I love my girlfriend passionately but she shows her naked body to hundreds of men a day and performs sex acts for men who are not me" could be a problem.

I'm mostly being flippant. At least the first half of my post probably shouldn't be taken seriously

I will say that the sex acts a cam girl performs for her customers aren't remotely comparable to those that a typical boyfriend/girlfriend routinely experience together though :twocents-02cents:

 

[Evvie]

I Love My GF passionately, she is a cam performer.

I'm not sure I see the problem.

I love my girlfriend passionately but she's a serial shagger of people who aren't me - problem
I love my girlfriend passionately but she keeps on coming home with disembodied hands and feet in her purse - problem
I love my girlfriend passionately but she's a warlord - problem
I love my girlfriend passionately but she's a vigilante who's recently got mixed up in organised crime lol - problem
I love my girlfriend passionately but she's a cam girl - prob...lem?

I dunno, maybe I'm oversimplifying things and being naive but if the first part of that sentence is accurate, then the second part is surely no big deal :twocents-02cents:

I think that's a little harsh. I mean not that there is any shame in camming, but I can see how "I love my girlfriend passionately but she shows her naked body to hundreds of men a day and performs sex acts for men who are not me" could be a problem.

I'm mostly being flippant. At least the first half of my post probably shouldn't be taken seriously

I will say that the sex acts a cam girl performs for her customers aren't remotely comparable to those that a typical boyfriend/girlfriend routinely experience together though :twocents-02cents:

While it isn't a good idea to speak for every model, for the most part I entirely agree with both you guys. Even if you aren't treating every member like your boyfriend or feeling romantic and intimate satisfaction from doing shows with them, you are still jiggling your Jell-O for hundreds of dudes and you are still performing sex acts.

I sure wouldn't say that my experiences with members are similar at all to what I would do with a boyfriend. But I still engage in genuine sexual acts and allow members to witness (sometimes very personal) parts of my sex life.

I think a dude should be aware that the average model is not using members to fulfill what she needs from a boyfriend, but the average model IS allowing other men to be involved in her sex life.

 

[prm]

im only writing because ive been camming for several years and im married and i personally hate when my hubby tries to play producer or is critical of the way i perform. I hate working with him even at home. i feel agitated because if i try to work in bedroom then all sudden he needs to watch tv in there and then ill go to living room and he will lay on the bed so he can see and hear me, so i dont talk, also he will turn the tv down real low and just watch me. I dont like talking about what i do with him at all cuzz it just opens up the box of him thinking he needs to help me. can you imagine someone giving u hand signals while ur trying to do a prvt the hole time. he is retired so he is home 24/7, so the only chances i get to work my way is when he does some yard work. I love my husband but he does get jealous and i really feel distracted and constantly looking to see if he is watching, also i usually don't wear makeup unless im planning on working so its a give away to him and he will constantly interrupt, by trying to bring me a drink or deciding he's hungry, or he wants to have a conversation. i dont know if your gf and u have any of the same things going on and this is just my personal experience.



mfc
sm
imlive
webcams
jas

former if they suck big ....!

 

[IsabellaSnow]

im only writing because ive been camming for several years and im married and i personally hate when my hubby tries to play producer or is critical of the way i perform. I hate working with him even at home. i feel agitated because if i try to work in bedroom then all sudden he needs to watch tv in there and then ill go to living room and he will lay on the bed so he can see and hear me, so i dont talk, also he will turn the tv down real low and just watch me. I dont like talking about what i do with him at all cuzz it just opens up the box of him thinking he needs to help me. can you imagine someone giving u hand signals while ur trying to do a prvt the hole time. he is retired so he is home 24/7, so the only chances i get to work my way is when he does some yard work. I love my husband but he does get jealous and i really feel distracted and constantly looking to see if he is watching, also i usually don't wear makeup unless im planning on working so its a give away to him and he will constantly interrupt, by trying to bring me a drink or deciding he's hungry, or he wants to have a conversation. i dont know if your gf and u have any of the same things going on and this is just my personal experience.

I would suggest either renting a small studio apartment and getting internet and working from there, or getting a two bedroom house/flat and your camming bedroom having a lock on it. This sounds wayyy intrusive and I know it's your husband but a little bit creepy. Almost like a child in the way of trying to get attention/trying to stop you doing what you want to do. It's incredibly unfair and sounds like you really need to talk to him about it. I would never be able to cope with that! I can have people in the other room, but I don't like it if they can even hear me! And I'd never work with someone around who'd actually try and walk into the bedroom while I cam. On mfc you can get banned for that kind of thing + I wouldn't really want all the countless questions from randoms. When they sniff out there's a guy in the house, even my flatmate, it's constant questions of "do you fuck him?" and various other crap like wanting him to come on cam- so they can see his cock...?. Well no, I don't fuck him, and no he's not coming on cam, now fuck off.