I want to address things a couple of people said about my opinion, because my views don't get any air time in the media and people aren't used to hearing them so hopefully you will find things you haven't been exposed to. Everything I will say on this post is my personal opinion, some of it is based on scientific findings, the rest on common sense. I am not looking for provocation, but I have my own writing style so don't take anything personally.
It isn't a coincidence that every civilization was founded on marriage. Because civilization
is marriage. Marriage is born out of material necessity and poor conditions such as a cold climate, and becomes a genetic reality after a couple of thousand years of natural selection (I will explain this below). But it is the optimal organization for advancement: children rearing, building structures, law creation, and peace.
Women and men are different, they have different sexualities. While men look for variety and are happy sexing up women above and below their "league", women are not, which is why women are the ones to choose. Without marriage women are free to pursue their hypergamy instinct to the fullest which means they seek the best man they can find. This ends up in a scenario in which most women seek out the best men, the best men accept a wide range of women who are their equals and below them so they pool around them and the best men get to live a life of low commitment. Average and below average men without special skills are ignored.
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Marriage puts a limit on both women's hypergamy and men's quest for variety so it forces both to settle for
one partner. Women will still look to settle with the best men they can (this explains the popularity of Jane Austen's novels) but they have to eventually choose someone who pursues them for marriage. The top quality men that would have sexed them up in Hypergamyville won't look at them for marriage. If a top quality man must settle in marriage he will also look for the best woman he can get, "harems" are for low commitment environments.
So marriage is an insurance that every person in society will have a life partner and offspring. It is a insurance that every child will have two parents who will be highly invested in their rearing. My generation lives in a perpetual hookup culture. Since women can work and provide for themselves they have no need to settle for a man who will provide for them. Average men who used to be providers are now redundant. In this context women have sex with as many men they can until one morning they hit the wall at say, 42, and realize that their time is up, if they want a child they will have to settle. So they settle... but by then since they are old, the only man who will want to marry them is one of the incels we discussed above. She then has her one autistic child, and then divorces the husband she didn't really want in the first place. So on top of having health issues from being conceived at an old age, her child also grows up without a father.
Monogamous marriage is better than the scenario above. Women do crave a committed man naturally and they ride the cock carousel in the hopes that one of the men they have hookups with will finally commit to them, but they rarely do because there is no incentive to do it. Hypergamyville is created by women but it makes women unhappy. In a marriage scenario the best men are also forced to settle.
Marriage creates the traditional family and the concept of private property. In a society that never developed marriage people live in tribes where everything is communally shared and there is no concept of private property so there is little incentive to create anything new. Family, on the other hand, allows for couples to work and the product of their work becomes an inheritance that their offspring will receive. This organization then, creates the perfect incentive to work, to build, and to amass wealth which propels society forward. Laws are then created to organize private property. With marriage there is civilization, without marriage there are tribes in the jungle. We all love iPhones and Netflix so I would say that marriage is definitely not an obsolete concept and it is better than the alternative.
Every civilization reaches a point of prosperity in which they take their wealth for granted, dismiss everything that made them successful, and start to dismantle their foundations. In our society this is what feminism is. If you take every single thing that will sabotage marriage and family and make a doctrine out of it you end up with feminism. But it has had other names and other faces in the past. Rome also reached a pinnacle in which people stopped getting married, they had their own sexual liberation, and it was the cause of their decline. It has a lot to do with what I will explain below as a response to
@DonaDiabla's post
But before I do that, a quick note about the overpopulation meme: what does overpopulation even mean? Humans are not bacteria in a petri dish. We have always exploited resources artificially and went beyond what nature could do to sustain us. That is what agriculture and husbandry are. We will continue to figure out ways to provide for ourselves without depending on Pachamama.
Africans are r-selected societies. It means they have a high fertility rate but low parental investment. This produces a numerous offspring but few of them reach adulthood. Western society is K-selected: high investment in few offspring. So I understand that in your culture sex has no value and no meaning because offspring is numerous and therefore unimportant.
I do want to explain that I wasn't talking about romantic love, which is a 20th Century concept. I was talking about actual love which is built working shoulder to shoulder for years with the person you committed to, raising your children together and tackling problems that come your way aka marriage.
The divergent way our societies evolved has to do with material realities. On cold climates and harsh conditions like the ones in Europe people had to develop high commitment and cooperation to survive. Most children would die unless a parent was highly invested in taking care of them, and people had to learn to plan for the winter. In warmer climates such as Africa there wasn't a need to do this, survival didn't depend on parental care, and every person was guaranteed to have at least one offspring that would survive even without taking care of them. One situation leads to the development of marriage, the other one does not. It isn't a coincidence that Africans still live in tribes with little advancement and societies where marriage is prevalent did develop into civilizations. If you live in the western world and not in Africa, perhaps it would be a good exercise to try to understand the West's core values instead of dismissing them.
The crux of the r/K selected theory is that once a society has propelled itself forward and reaches a point of total prosperity, then the same conditions that forced the creation of marriage cease to exist. There is no need for cooperation or parental investment since everyone is wealthy. So the K selected theory that got your society there is now seen as ridiculous and obsolete. People revert to an r selected strategy in prosperity and it ends up destroying the very wealth that created it.
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