Proper PM Etiquette (what's the final word)

[camstory]

One, if they are like me, often feels a bit awkward in not knowing exactly how to end a PM conversation. There are times when it is obvious there is nothing further that needs to be said and your last or theirs has clearly signed off with a, "take care", "cheers", or other such final word. But when it is not so obvious, or when there has not been one of these parting words/phrases given I am left unsure what is the proper next action. I most often send no further, but am left feeling as if I have not acknowledged the last sent, or like I have hung up without saying goodbye. On the other hand there are times when what the other person has last said is obviously the last word, but because of there is something about that last message that strikes me, (most often b/c it was especially kind), I send a reply, but then am left to wonder if my message was seen as extra added bullshit and nothing more.

I don't know if there is any easy rule of thumb, or if I am just being overly sensitive? I have also had other questions about PM etiquette that don't come to mind right now, but I thought that this might become a thread to discuss proper PM majors if anyone else has questions, tho I imagine it may all seem much more obvious/less awkward to all the youngsters here who PMing, texting, and the like are second nature.

 

[Shaun__]

When I am PMing a model I type what I want to say to her, and then do other stuff. If she responds I then repeat this process. I do this until she signs off or I need to go. If I am leaving first I tell her bye.

I find this works best for me. The lowered expectations of interaction with the model is the important part of my process. Models online or offline seem to stay busy, and cannot always respond promptly.

 

[SoTxBob]

I have had much the same ponderings.... I gave up simply bc etiquette and manners seem to be 'old school' and mostly fodder for humor nowadays. For emails, remember back when we were taught how to write letters and notes ? The sign off and all.... regards, see you soon, miss you, yours truly, et al ... now i seldom do more than maybe an initial.

 

[Evvie]

typing with one hand, but let me try!

when a member is overly formal - 'Hello, how are you today? Mind if I ask a question or two? - Jonathan' I sometimes feel a little irritated because I feel he is expecting a higher quality - ie, time consuming - conversation.

I think goodbyes are polite too. however, it is usually very clear when a convo has already ended. on a busy day, seeing the pm flash and taking time to check it only to see it says 'bye' can sometimes be annoying, but i always appreciate it.

i think the best way to do this is to put the goodbye in the last relevant pm, if that makes sense.

 

[camstory]

One, if they are like me, often feels a bit awkward in not knowing exactly how to end a PM conversation here at ACF. There are times when it is obvious there is nothing further that needs to be said and your last or theirs has clearly signed off with a, "take care", "cheers", or other such final word. But when it is not so obvious, or when there has not been one of these parting words/phrases given I am left unsure what is the proper next action. I most often send no further, but am left feeling as if I have not acknowledged the last sent, or like I have hung up without saying goodbye. On the other hand there are times when what the other person has last said is obviously the last word, but because of there is something about that last message that strikes me, (most often b/c it was especially kind), I send a reply, but then am left to wonder if my message was seen as extra added bullshit and nothing more.

I don't know if there is any easy rule of thumb, or if I am just being overly sensitive? I have also had other questions about PM etiquette that don't come to mind right now, but I thought that this might become a thread to discuss proper PM majors if anyone else has questions, tho I imagine it may all seem much more obvious/less awkward to all the youngsters here who PMing, texting, and the like are second nature.

:sign3: I'm so sorry, I so rarely use PM's at MFC it did not occur.... Well I am just an idiot some times,

 

[VeronicaChaos]

At this point, I just assume all things like that (PMs in any fashion, text messaging, etc) to be totally confusing when it comes to the end, so I either a; don't get offended when the conversation just drops off and b; assume that whoever I'm talking to doesn't get offended when it just drops off. Nobody's to blame, it's a pain in the ass and I'm not sure what the etiquette is either. Does it even exist?

 

[VeronicaChaos]

typing with one hand

hey bb, how YOU doing?

 

[camstory]

At this point, I just assume all things like that (PMs in any fashion, text messaging, etc) to be totally confusing when it comes to the end, so I either a; don't get offended when the conversation just drops off and b; assume that whoever I'm talking to doesn't get offended when it just drops off. Nobody's to blame, it's a pain in the ass and I'm not sure what the etiquette is either. Does it even exist?

Very, very, good to hear, b/c this is exactly how i have been approaching this but thought i must be missing something. If I was it is nice to know I am not the only one :lol: Thanks VC

 

[Countessa]

When I am PMing a model I type what I want to say to her, and then do other stuff. If she responds I then repeat this process. I do this until she signs off or I need to go. If I am leaving first I tell her bye.

I find this works best for me. The lowered expectations of interaction with the model is the important part of my process. Models online or offline seem to stay busy, and cannot always respond promptly.

Fantastic. :thumbleft:
I usually try to reply to everyone, but a generic 'hey' will be ignored if I have a room full of tippers or I'm in a private... sorry

 

[Jupiter551]

I just let it tail off - I don't think it's rude, or at least it isn't intended to be. If both parties are content to end the conversation it ends.

 

[loveyougipsy]

Not sure it applies to PMs on forums, but I find text conversations can stop and start over the whole day. I'm texting because it's not critical I get an immediate answer. If I needed that I'd phone. I text when I have time and only expect the other person to respond when they have time. That can mean after 15-20 minutes of texts everything suddenly stops and a few hours later it starts again.

Sometimes it's days before I respond to a text. When it arrives I'm in the middle of something, read it and think I'll reply later when I have free time. Then I forget :? :-D

 

[bob]

heh...yeah

i haven't found that there's any "etiquette" about this...what works for me is dependent on my familiarity with the model, the current environment of her work, and whatever it is that drives me to say "so long" in the first place
y'all probably don't need a bunch of examples to illustrate how these things work together when i'm saying goodbye.

suffice it to say that sometimes i want closure, and will wait for a response, sometimes i'll leave a brief explanation, say 'bye and leave.....and sometimes the whole conversation just drifts off into silence.....once in a while i feel pretty stupid when that happens....most of the time tho, it's no big deal

 

[Bocefish]

3 words... clear, concise, polite. It's not rocket science. :-D

 

[LadyLuna]

3 words... clear, concise, polite. It's not rocket science. :-D

It's worse than rocket science. At least rocket science has a clear answer. This is Etiquette, which is very murky and situational. It deals with people, and everyone has their personal preferences.

Customer #1 will complain if the clerk doesn't say "Hi" the second he walks in, because he doesn't feel wanted and appreciated.
Customer #2 will complain if the clerk does say "Hi" the second he walks in, because he feels attacked and rushed.
Customer #3 doesn't care either way.

Thus it is with Etiquette. One man will be offended if you call him Sir, another will be flattered, and a third won't notice. One girl will despise you forever if you call her ma'am, another expects you to call her ma'am, and a third doesn't care. One model will be annoyed if she goes to check her message and it's just "bye". One model will be offended if you don't say "bye" before you leave. A third model will roll with it either way.

All you can really do, is do what feels right. Those that hate you for it wouldn't click with you anyway.

 

[Bocefish]

All that hi and bye cordial stuff can and should be said in public chat on MFC. Private messages to models should be about privates and/or personal stuff. PMs on bulletin boards like this vary as much as each individual does, but it's hard to offend anyone being clear, concise and polite. Jus' sayin'.

:twocents-02cents:

 

[Shaun__]

One girl will despise you forever if you call her ma'am, another expects you to call her ma'am, and a third doesn't care.

I am Southern and ma'am just happens. I did have a model complain about it once, but it is not a conscious decision to use that word.

 

[Bocefish]

Speaking of that ma'am and sir stuff... I've seen on more than one TV cop show where the person in charge is a woman and everybody calls her SIR. WTF is up with that?

 

[Nordling]

Speaking of that ma'am and sir stuff... I've seen on more than one TV cop show where the person in charge is a woman and everybody calls her SIR. WTF is up with that?

And let us never forget Marcie.

 

[LadyLuna]

One girl will despise you forever if you call her ma'am, another expects you to call her ma'am, and a third doesn't care.

I am Southern and ma'am just happens. I did have a model complain about it once, but it is not a conscious decision to use that word.

I used to get offended, but then I realized this was so. Now I just have a good laugh, and politely ask them not to call me that, as it makes me feel old. Their reply is invariably "yes Ma'am".

 

[camstory]

3 words... clear, concise, polite. It's not rocket science. :-D

It's worse than rocket science. At least rocket science has a clear answer. This is Etiquette, which is very murky and situational. It deals with people, and everyone has their personal preferences.

Customer #1 will complain if the clerk doesn't say "Hi" the second he walks in, because he doesn't feel wanted and appreciated.
Customer #2 will complain if the clerk does say "Hi" the second he walks in, because he feels attacked and rushed.
Customer #3 doesn't care either way.

Thus it is with Etiquette. One man will be offended if you call him Sir, another will be flattered, and a third won't notice. One girl will despise you forever if you call her ma'am, another expects you to call her ma'am, and a third doesn't care. One model will be annoyed if she goes to check her message and it's just "bye". One model will be offended if you don't say "bye" before you leave. A third model will roll with it either way.

All you can really do, is do what feels right. Those that hate you for it wouldn't click with you anyway.

Nice, how i mostly go about it, i just thought there might be something i was overlooking or unaware of, - not at all something i am immune to.

 

[Just Me]

I think, as with all writing, there should be a beginning, middle and an end. It is just polite to start with a greeting and end it with a goodbye or a thank you.