Self-Esteem

[CounterCount]

In general, do you find camming raises or lowers your self-esteem?

 

[Rebecca Buck]

Both.

On days where it's good and people tip and talk and things are fun, it's awesome. I feel amazing. I feel like a sex queen and a fun person and like people actually like me.

On days where nobody talks or tips and instead asks me to give flashes and stuff for free, or when they try to scam me, it's bad. You can't help but feel that nobody finds you attractive enough to tip you or even consider just saying hi. When people try to scam you or strong you along for free attention, it feels like they take you for a rube and a dumbass, and nobody likes to feel like others think they're not smart or attractive or worth thier time.

There are ups and downs. Overall I think camming has boosted my CONFIDENCE, but not always my self-esteem. But I think some days confidence is more important so you can tell yourself that no matter what, you ARE a crazy hot sex beast and anyone who doesn't think so is seriously missing out.

 

[Jessi]

I used to think I was ugly, unfunny, and boring. My progess on MFC has shown that not to be the case Plus getting oodles of compliments every day helps too :dance:
Where you are trying to market yourself, a bad day can be quite a blow to the self esteem though.

 

[OpheliaChan]

Neither, my self-esteem cannot be penetrated.

 

[Evvie]

I'm wonder what Counter's angle is. What do you guys think, member or model?

 

[KayleePond]

I'm wonder what Counter's angle is. What do you guys think, member or model?

Srsly.

Counter, you're kind of freakin' me out with all of your one line posts out of no where! It might be nice for you to say hi somewhere or even if your posts had more elaboration that'd be pretty cool! I think that you might get better conversations started if you give us a little something to work with!

This is a nice spot to start:

viewtopic.php?f=12&t=32&hilit=who+the+are+you+introduction+thread

PS: What Evvie says in the post after this is good stuff! Thanks Evvie!
I'm sure you're perfectly nice, it would just be helpful to know what is up!

 

[Evvie]

I'm wonder what Counter's angle is. What do you guys think, member or model?

Srsly.

Counter, you're kind of freakin' me out with all of your one line posts out of no where! It might be nice for you to say hi somewhere or even if your posts had more elaboration that'd be pretty cool! I think that you might get better conversations started if you give us a little something to work with!

This is a nice spot to start:

viewtopic.php?f=12&t=32&hilit=who+the+are+you+introduction+thread

To clarify, we get a lot of weirdos, trolls, asshats and conservative media spies on here who first try to fish for information and then turn it around and use it to try and hurt us. Your questions make you sound like a kid doing a school project come to look for information or something paranoid like that.

We are pretty nice people, but we also like to know who we are talking to It's not like we're information hoarders, but your posts aren't what we normally get here.

 

[JerryBoBerry]

From a seriously shy member's point of view it's done wonders for my self esteem. So many pretty and charming ladies now talk to me.

 

[OpheliaChan]

I'm wonder what Counter's angle is. What do you guys think, member or model?

He actually came into my room one day (he's a member) and he's actually pretty cool. He asked some really cool questions (minus the self-esteem stuff) and we talked about books and seemed less creepy than he does now.

I'm pretty sure he's just researching something or another, who knows.

 

[Jessi]

If you ARE doing a research project/article/blog post/etc, you should let people know so they have a choice of whether they want to participate, be anonymous, etc.

 

[LadyLuna]

Camming has not raised or lowered my actual self-esteem. How I view things is the only thing that has affected my self esteem. It's all a matter of perception. That said, a good day of camming raises my temporary self-esteem, and a bad day lowers it. Temporary being how much is currently being active in my life.

Shortly after hitting puberty, I convinced myself that I was a monster who did nothing but hurt everyone, and that the world would be better off if I died. When I came to my senses and realized that killing myself would hurt my parents more than continuing to live ever could even if I did become a homeless druggie (about six months after I decided that I was a worthless piece of shit), I decided that the world would've been better off if I'd never existed but that the damage was already done and the least I could do was try to fix it.

Fast forward. I'm starting to believe that no one's life is made worse by my own. I'm starting to believe that there are people out there who are genuinely happy that I exist, and that I actually do deserve some of that. Camming was there, but I don't think it had any affect. See, what I've been doing is a steady campaign of trying to look at the positive. And in looking at the positive in the rest of the world, it's easier to look at the positive within myself. I learned this from Ted talks, which I would've found whether or not I was camming. I also learned that it's good to DO something positive, so I'm pulling out my dusty old creative side, and doing my best not to diss the things it churns out (awfully hard, cause I'm a bit of a perfectionist at times).

So, like I said, my self-esteem is all about how I perceive myself, and while camming can have a short-term affect on how I perceive myself, it does nothing for the long-term, nothing about my deep-down beliefs about myself.

 

[Nordling]

Camming has not raised or lowered my actual self-esteem. How I view things is the only thing that has affected my self esteem. It's all a matter of perception. That said, a good day of camming raises my temporary self-esteem, and a bad day lowers it. Temporary being how much is currently being active in my life.

Shortly after hitting puberty, I convinced myself that I was a monster who did nothing but hurt everyone, and that the world would be better off if I died. When I came to my senses and realized that killing myself would hurt my parents more than continuing to live ever could even if I did become a homeless druggie (about six months after I decided that I was a worthless piece of shit), I decided that the world would've been better off if I'd never existed but that the damage was already done and the least I could do was try to fix it.

Fast forward. I'm starting to believe that no one's life is made worse by my own. I'm starting to believe that there are people out there who are genuinely happy that I exist, and that I actually do deserve some of that. Camming was there, but I don't think it had any affect. See, what I've been doing is a steady campaign of trying to look at the positive. And in looking at the positive in the rest of the world, it's easier to look at the positive within myself. I learned this from Ted talks, which I would've found whether or not I was camming. I also learned that it's good to DO something positive, so I'm pulling out my dusty old creative side, and doing my best not to diss the things it churns out (awfully hard, cause I'm a bit of a perfectionist at times).

So, like I said, my self-esteem is all about how I perceive myself, and while camming can have a short-term affect on how I perceive myself, it does nothing for the long-term, nothing about my deep-down beliefs about myself.

I'm not only happy that you exist, but your existence makes me happy. There are simply too few people on the planet who really think about stuff, and more often than not the result is wise. Saluda hermana!

 

[RoseCavilla]

Both.

On days where it's good and people tip and talk and things are fun, it's awesome. I feel amazing. I feel like a sex queen and a fun person and like people actually like me.

On days where nobody talks or tips and instead asks me to give flashes and stuff for free, or when they try to scam me, it's bad. You can't help but feel that nobody finds you attractive enough to tip you or even consider just saying hi. When people try to scam you or strong you along for free attention, it feels like they take you for a rube and a dumbass, and nobody likes to feel like others think they're not smart or attractive or worth thier time.

There are ups and downs. Overall I think camming has boosted my CONFIDENCE, but not always my self-esteem. But I think some days confidence is more important so you can tell yourself that no matter what, you ARE a crazy hot sex beast and anyone who doesn't think so is seriously missing out.

I agree with Nirvana on this.

For me personally, MyFreecams was AWESOME for my self-esteem during the first ten hours of broadcast. People talked to me, I always had traffic in my room, and I made more then minimun wage. Even when members tried to scam me (because in addition to being a stupid camwhore who deserves to be punished, I was also new so they thought I'd be easy game) I kept my head up because for every would-be scam artist, there were ten quality members.

Now, however, it tends to lower my self-esteem. I've got sixteen broadcast hours in on myfreecams and have lost my new model tag (I spent a LOT of time in "away" mode because I didn't know that counted against the tag and camscore ). Yesterday my camscore dropped below 1000 and I wanted to kick myself. Now I could be naked doing a public shower cum show and I'd be lucky to get 20 viewers. Sometimes that makes me feel like no one wants to watch me. The only traffic I seem to be getting lately is a bunch of guys looking for a free show who leave when they see I'm not naked, guys trying to scam me with Amazon, PayPal, and even credit card schemes, and jackasses who don't even say hi before they start spamming my room with what they think is sexy dirty talk.

All of that crap can really do a number on you, especially when you're struggling to make the money you need to scrape by (not even live comfortably) and you know getting a different job would cost more than you'd make.

 

[Evvie]

I think camming has effected my narcissism more than anything else.

I also do not think camming has any more effect on self-esteem than other things in general.

A bad day on cam can make you feel worse - just like a bad day at any other job, a bad day on your hobby sports team, a bad day watching the kids or a bad haircut.

A good day on cam can make you feel great - just like everything else good makes you feel good.

I think what many people are looking for is, "does camming make these women love themselves? Does camming leech at their souls and make them in to a withered husk of a once-whole person?" but that question is nonsensical. We are not Legion, camming has a different effect on everybody. And it's not really a mystery, either; camming is a job. I imagine it follows the satisfaction rate of many 100% paid commission jobs.

I would have to say that doing webcam shows has neither increased nor decreased my self-esteem as a person. When it comes to my professional life, I'm afraid I'm extremely conceited. If I have a good day it makes me happy, but it does not raise my self-esteem, because I already know exactly what I'm worth and how much I deserve everything. If I have a bad day it is rarely upsetting, because I know there's nothing wrong with me, it's just the economy or the nature of the free market. As far as narcissism goes, it's hard to build a professional career out of looking good, combine it with staring at yourself doing sexy stuff for 6 hours a day and not walk away with some sort of inflated ego.

 

[CharlieKat]

Slow nights tend to allow me to think too much.

So, if no one is talking or tipping, I tend to look at myself more and pick out my physical flaws on camera. Then I begin to worry if those things are why someone isn't talking to me, or tipping me.

When it's busy and the ball is rolling, I'll feel so damned good because I'm so into entertaining them and having a good time.



Then I'll get off cam with the insatiable urge to fuck anything on two legs, hahaha.

 

[PlayboyMegan]

I've always had a high self-esteem. I don't know if camming has highered it or not, but it has not lowered it.

 

[Alexandra Cole]

What about you, CounterCount?

Since you asked the question, I'd imagine you've already given it some thought. Has it affected your self-esteem?

 

[Just Me]

I think camming has effected my narcissism more than anything else.

I also do not think camming has any more effect on self-esteem than other things in general.

I find that an interesting statement and begs a question. Do you think cam models tend to be more narcissistic than the average person?

 

[Evvie]

I think camming has effected my narcissism more than anything else.

I also do not think camming has any more effect on self-esteem than other things in general.

I find that an interesting statement and begs a question. Do you think cam models tend to be more narcissistic than the average person?

No. I think webcamming would only develop narcissism if the person was already inclined to it; if a person had poor-self image or self-worth, staring at themselves all day and being judged on their worth would probably make them feel worse about themselves. All the models I interact with seem to reflect a very average portion of the first world population.

I do not think narcissistic women are more drawn to webcamming; such women would probably be interested in more publicized work like pornography or reality television. If I was a truly narcissistic person the thought of locking myself away in my house to do shows at arm's length would probably be upsetting to me.

 

[PinkiePixi]

I think camming has effected my narcissism more than anything else.

This. Evvie managed to put into words what I was unable to. My self esteem generally may have increased a bit, but Ive always had decent self esteem.

 

[AmeliaArcana]

I enjoy the compliments, and ignore the rude stuff. My interactions have been largely wonderful and basically keep my self-esteem score in the 1000 range, as per usual.

I have some thick skin surrounding this thick body, and after years of hard work on self-love, my self-esteem comes from within. Not an easy process, but such a rewarding one.

 

[LadyLuna]

For most models, I don't think insults hurt as much as a large succession of people who won't spend anything on her. Insults are almost always a matter of personal opinion, but when you've been working for five hours and made a whole $12, that really hurts. We're selling ourselves, so if people don't buy, they "don't like" us.

It's hard to separate how much you made with how much you think other people value you. I had trouble with that at first, which was fine until the tips stopped coming in. And then I found out the price of relying on income to inform you of what other people think you're worth.

Now, that makes it look like it was the income that threw me into depression, but it wasn't. I sank back into depression in Feb 2010 because of things that were happening in my relationship. My income sank because of the depression, which fed into it, and became a downward spiral. So now, I do my best to not let my income be the only positive thing in my daily positive thoughts journal. I focus instead on the positive things I did, not the positive things others said to me or did for me.

 

[AmeliaArcana]

I hope you're feeling better lately, LadyLuna. Depression is a cruel mistress. xoxox

 

[PersonalAngel]

I think camming has effected my narcissism more than anything else.

I also do not think camming has any more effect on self-esteem than other things in general.

I find that an interesting statement and begs a question. Do you think cam models tend to be more narcissistic than the average person?

I have always been narcissistic way before I ever started to cam.

 

[Miss_Lollipop]

Camming - and being successful at camming has raised my self esteem beyond measure. Not just being on cam, but successfully running my own business.... setting a goal, accomplishing it, being proud of who I am and what I do... blah blah. Its all been good for me.

There are days - bad days. Like everyone else has. And when I have those bad days it is a real effort to REMEMBER that tokens do not = what I am worth. But I have learned to do this over time...

 

[CounterCount]

Thank you to everyone responding!

I'm a screenwriter interested in the power, intelligence and social savvy of models, and have been writing a script invested in your expertise.

It's been so impressive, the candor everyone has shown. And helpful. Thank you so much.

Like many have mentioned, the personalities found here are so vast and varied it's imperative for one to hear many accounts to begin understanding.

I'm very set on getting the territory right, and I appreciate your help and analysis. Let me know if you have any more questions, and thank you for answering mine!

 

[Evvie]

Thank you to everyone responding!

I'm a screenwriter interested in the power, intelligence and social savvy of models, and have been writing a script invested in your expertise.

It's been so impressive, the candor everyone has shown. And helpful. Thank you so much.

Like many have mentioned, the personalities found here are so vast and varied it's imperative for one to hear many accounts to begin understanding.

I'm very set on getting the territory right, and I appreciate your help and analysis. Let me know if you have any more questions, and thank you for answering mine!

Aaaaaand this is why I knew I shouldn't have answered the question. Thanks for being up front about what you're doing here, bro.

 

[Miss_Lollipop]

Next time please tell us what you're doing.

I still would have answered, but now you've left a really shitty taste in my mouth.

 

[PinkiePixi]

Thank you to everyone responding!

I'm a screenwriter interested in the power, intelligence and social savvy of models, and have been writing a script invested in your expertise.

It's been so impressive, the candor everyone has shown. And helpful. Thank you so much.

Like many have mentioned, the personalities found here are so vast and varied it's imperative for one to hear many accounts to begin understanding.

I'm very set on getting the territory right, and I appreciate your help and analysis. Let me know if you have any more questions, and thank you for answering mine!

It may be that Im really tired and cranky. But youre an ass. I regret replying at all. You would have done MUCH better outright telling us that beforehand, hell you may have even gotten more replies and interest in helping you get a realistic view on the camming world from our perspective. Instead you decided to be a deceptive little shit and take what information we so willingly and happily contributed to a seemingly harmless - just curious individual (who couldnt be bothered to even use the search function), and use it for some little pet project of yours (which you may or may not monetarily profit from) without our prior consent.

So no. You are very much not welcome. None of us gave our replies to help you, we did it to contribute to meaningful conversation on this fantastic forum.

Heres a question for you - what makes you think you can stumble in here and try and more or less exploit us? Since... thats kind of what you did.

Amber - feel free to delete this if you feel its for the best.

:angry4:

 

[CounterCount]

I am so sorry for not mentioning it earlier. I feel awful knowing it offended some of you to discover too late an artist was interested in your world, and I certainly can't bear the thought of anyone thinking I wish to exploit the models generously sharing their thoughts and experience.

Upon further reading I found in the forum a student who (I'm sure you remember) was writing an academic paper. She approached the research with infinitely more consideration and logic, while I simply raced into it with the desire to understand what I have found to be an exceptionally fascinating and vital group of individuals. I feel privileged just to visit your environment, and hope everyone here can forgive my idiotic oversight.

Let me stress that, like the academic, my intention is almost painfully remote from commerce. Money will never be a force in my life. I am a member of the working class, and my presence in the forum reflects a wish to expand my knowledge of its forms into contemporary realms with which I'm unfamiliar.

Now I'll state what I should have said earlier: I would be incredibly grateful to any model on the forum who is interested in being interviewed for the purpose of a screenplay. I hope to get to know each of you and hear your thoughts and opinions, as well as broaden my understanding (and ultimately an audiences'), of what camming really means for the women and men behind it; to remove it from myth and stereotype - to display its complex reality.

Please PM me or let me know if this interests you.

Thank you for your understanding.