Sensitivity, accurate subject titles, and triggers

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AmberCutie

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I'll admit, I didn't even know what "trigger warning" meant or was before this board started growing to the size it has become. It wouldn't surprise me if majority of people here at ACF are unaware as well.

But even once we know what it means, we still have no idea what triggers are for our potential readers. It could be anything from a single word to a graphic image. Does that mean we put the words TRIGGER WARNING on every post? Most definitely not. While I think it completely sucks if somebody with PTSD comes across a trigger, I think it's near impossible to make it completely unavoidable. Even reading "trigger warning" is enough to cause a trigger for extreme cases.

But I would recommend to posters that if they take a 2nd look at the content they are about to post and feel it could be upsetting in an obvious way, to use some common sense and courtesy and title the post accurately and descriptively. Using the actual words TRIGGER WARNING in topics isn't and won't be required here at ACF, but more descriptive subject titles should be used. (We have also added the ability to use spoiler tags, see this thread for more info.) And clearly it is NEVER OK to post something with full intent of upsetting someone, PTSD related or not. That should go without saying. And if you find yourself triggered by a post, please avoid causing a public uproar about it within the thread. Keep in mind that what triggers you may not affect others, and making a big deal out of it publicly might make matters worse. If you feel the post was only created to cause a trigger, then please report it.

While we're on the subject, I'd also like to request that people posting a video or an external link also include some textual description within the post of what the reader is about to watch/view/click on. This isn't just for sensitivity, but for convenience as well.

Please keep any replies and discussion to this post on a civil level. It's something that obviously will always be a sensitive subject to some people, whether you personally agree or disagree with the subject matter.
 
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Bocefish

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I'm including this from the other thread because it was helpful for the layman (me) who is unfamiliar how some PTSD triggers are distinguished and how certain consensual abuse and non-consensual abuse images differed, although I still believe even the consensual ones may also be a trigger.

Arrietty said:
PunkInDrublic said:
Someone should try to further educate us on some of this stuff. Can stuff like UFC or WWE trigger anything? What about things that just remind the person of the attacker?
I think it totally depends on the person. Sure, stuff like UFC and WWE could trigger people,depending on the level of trauma they had been through.

However I'm not about to start saying we should be posting trigger warnings if we post porno vids of two girls mud wrestling or something. Although I do think that the level of responsibility should not lie solely with the person with PTSD, I do think that there should be SOME responsibility there.

Someone could be triggered by something unusual like flowers or something, because of some specific horrible experience they had had, but it would be a bit silly to expect everyone to post trigger warnings every time they talked about daisies or some shit that people do not normally relate to being traumatic.

I think it's just about being a bit more aware that there are a lot of people who have been through some serious shit, and it's nice to consider that when posting about that serious shit in a public place.

Like, the difference between UFC, WWE and BDSM and roleplay is that the acts that are happening between the people are CONSENSUAL. The wrestlers knew what they were getting into when they stepped into the ring. That was the deal. there is a referee and all the rules are clear. Likewise, the Dom and the Sub play with power and pain and they both know what they are getting into and they both LIKE IT. They have safe words, the rules are clear.

It's very different to posting real life pictures of a woman (or man) being beaten up, against her will. This was not consensual. This was abuse, there are no rules and will therefore naturally evoke different emotions. It is particularity difficult for victims of abuse, because they have already been through an ordeal where they feel very much powerless, and it can often put them right back in that situation again. They have no control, it' can feel like the same abuse all over again. It is especially difficult when they are then laughed at, or told to 'get over it.'

I am by no means an expert on trigger warnings but here is when I use them:
When talking explicitly about a subject matter that is very traumatic, like abuse, torture, violence, rape, eating disorders,self harm, suicide...I'm sure there are many other examples but these are the subject matters I can think of straight away.
I do not use trigger warnings if I am just mentioning or talking in a manner of fact way about these things, however if I am going into them in great detail/relaying emotions/relaying personal experience in detail/posting a link to an article or story of someone who talks in great detail about these things....then I will post a trigger warning.

I also use trigger warnings before posting PICTURES or VIDEOS of any of the above. It's important that the trigger warning can definitely be seen before the pictures/video.

I don't know. Some people may think this is all too sensitive, but me and my group of friends are very open with each other, so I know what some of them have been through. Some of them have had very sheltered lives, but others have been raped, known people who have been murdered and my friends family has been tortured in a war zone and had to flee their country so I know what some people have had to go through, and don't think it's that much effort, from my position of privilege, to have to think a bit before I say/post things.
 
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I have to admit that I did not know very much about this subject so thank you Amber for creating this thread. I know the basic triggers as they relate to rape or child or animal abuse but that is about it. This just never dawned on me and I am very sorry if I have posted anything in the past without proper warnings. I will try to be more careful and hopefully as others join this discussion I can learn what stuff to avoid or be more careful with.
:oops:

But I also want to point out that it may sometimes appear that us men can be unthoughtful in situations like this but many times it is simply a lack of knowledge or proper understanding. Ignorance is not a good excuse but it isn't being done maliciously either. Or at least in my case since I can only speak for myself. And I'm almost 50 years old so I am not some young kid but there is still so much for me to learn and this is just another good example of that.
:dontknow:
 

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I don't know if you can put a warning for everything though. I would treat it in the same respect as what you see on television, "this program may not be suitable for all audiences" Maybe obviously not the same way but along the same lines. Those kind of warnings aren't necessarily for children/parents as much as they are for people with PTSD. There are plenty of people who can't watch certain videos on 9/11 because they were there. It doesn't make them less of a person.

PTSD is a real thing that happens to people who go through emotionally traumatic events. I don't think it should be taken lightly or treated as a lack of personal strength. Maybe when it's associated with women people just think it's a personality defect or something. Because women are just silly and cry and stuff. :roll:
This is the kind of mentality that prevents many people from being able to overcome the problems it can cause for fear of being "thought less of" or wimps. It's a real thing it happens to victims of violence and rape the same as combat veterans.
It's sad when people make light of it.

Same with veterans. If you were put in a violent kill or be killed scenario for an extended period of time, no amount of psychological preparation necessarily makes you "ready" to mentally process what can actually happen in combat. Many times people's brain's actually compartmentalize after a traumatic event in order to handle day to day life. It's a biological response. Many times people can't even remember traumatic events because that's the way their brain has decided to protect them from the trauma. This is why certain images, scenes, or "Triggers" can be incapacitating. Psychological can put someone into an overwhelming powerless and helpess state without warning as a result of their own memories.

Traumatic events that can lead to PTSD include:
War
Natural disasters
Car or plane crashes
Terrorist attacks
Sudden death of a loved one
Rape
Kidnapping
Assault
Sexual or physical abuse
Childhood neglect

Basically anything that's super fucked up/graphic/intense and can bring about flashbacks, and can be a trigger. Assault and violence should be a no brainer, but it's really not even limited to that.
 
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wellll looks like i get to come out of the ptsd closet for a sec.

yeah, im all kinds of post traumatic. rough childhood is all ill say so as to keep it short. my triggers rarely show up in a forum since for me the written word gives me logical clarity and distance (luckily). heck i can even joke about not only the trauma, but the effects of ptsd most of the time. alas, not everyone can.

from nightmares (or in my case night terrors, oh joy) to panic attacks, to near paranoiac fugues of fear ptsd aint fun for sure. thats not even mentioning how dangerous it can be. friends and family have learned quickly to never ever sneak up on me. i react with violence without thought. pure reflex before i can control myself. ive hurt people i care a lot about more than once. and ya know what? no apology ever feels sufficient for that.
then theres the rage. it burns and boils inside you for years, coloring everything you do. even small things can send me into overdrive. i had to stop carrying guns at one point because i came too damn close to using them.

you get the pleasure of taking multiple medications for a decade or more, and all the fun fun fun side effects from them. and they might not even work.

i once told my therapist that i felt like crap after group sometimes. i know damn good and well that the things i went through werent all that bad on the big scale of things. knowing folk who have been in war, been raped or otherwise assaulted i can not imagine what i would be like if i had walked their path. but as she said, all trauma is individual, its about when and how and where it happened as much as what. what an adult can handle with no lasting trauma can break a child.


thats why if im going to talk about a touchy subject i try to give fair forewarning. ive been there, i know what its like to be going along all collected and in control and get hit with a trigger. heck there was a scene in the walking dead where carl gets shot. hes just blissing on the beauty of a deer. a little slice of beauty and calmness in an insane world and then hes hit and bleeding. took me 3 hours to get under control from that one lol.

anyway, i dont guess i really have a point here. just giving my empathy and sympathy.
 

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I have to say, these are probably the only things I will be adding "trigger warnings" to. I don't think I should live my life warning people about things because of their personal issues I have no idea about, because that's just not how life works. I can't always remember to warn for everything nor will I try, but these 4 are easy enough to just /know/ in the back of your head may be hard for others:

Rape
Kidnapping
Assault
Sexual or physical abuse

The rest of lucky's list, I don't feel I should be held responsible for posting warnings. Accurate titles will help this. It does not help anyone to post some vague title and then come into something that could be traumatic.
 

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LacieLaPlante said:
I have to say, these are probably the only things I will be adding "trigger warnings" to. I don't think I should live my life warning people about things because of their personal issues I have no idea about, because that's just not how life works. I can't always remember to warn for everything nor will I try, but these 4 are easy enough to just /know/ in the back of your head may be hard for others:

Rape
Kidnapping
Assault
Sexual or physical abuse

The rest of lucky's list, I don't feel I should be held responsible for posting warnings. Accurate titles will help this. It does not help anyone to post some vague title and then come into something that could be traumatic.
I hope my post wasn't misunderstood. I am not asking people to make a habit of actually posting the word "trigger warning" in topics, just that posts be titled accurately. I mean, people can use the actual words if they want to, but I don't want you thinking my post was asking you to.
 

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AmberCutie said:
LacieLaPlante said:
I have to say, these are probably the only things I will be adding "trigger warnings" to. I don't think I should live my life warning people about things because of their personal issues I have no idea about, because that's just not how life works. I can't always remember to warn for everything nor will I try, but these 4 are easy enough to just /know/ in the back of your head may be hard for others:

Rape
Kidnapping
Assault
Sexual or physical abuse

The rest of lucky's list, I don't feel I should be held responsible for posting warnings. Accurate titles will help this. It does not help anyone to post some vague title and then come into something that could be traumatic.
I hope my post wasn't misunderstood. I am not asking people to make a habit of actually posting the word "trigger warning" in topics, just that posts be titled accurately. I mean, people can use the actual words if they want to, but I don't want you thinking my post was asking you to.

Oh, kay. I don't generally post anything that could be a trigger, I just could see myself screwing up about something other than those 4 because the rest are things that simply DO come up in casual conversation.. That's mostly what I meant.
 

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LacieLaPlante said:
I have to say, these are probably the only things I will be adding "trigger warnings" to. I don't think I should live my life warning people about things because of their personal issues I have no idea about, because that's just not how life works. I can't always remember to warn for everything nor will I try, but these 4 are easy enough to just /know/ in the back of your head may be hard for others:

Rape
Kidnapping
Assault
Sexual or physical abuse

The rest of lucky's list, I don't feel I should be held responsible for posting warnings. Accurate titles will help this. It does not help anyone to post some vague title and then come into something that could be traumatic.
I don't disagree, and as a site related to adult themes and discussion full of so many (hot)women those kinds of PTSD are probably more relavent. I just think people should be more aware and used examples maybe more relatable to more people, especially more men.
If someone was like "Oh look at this interesting video on 4th of July celebrations" and there were random clips of dead bodies- I don't know when something like that exactly extreme would happen but along the same lines and with youtube you never know... many people could get understandably upset. And no one would blame them.
But if someone posts something a little off labeled and it happens show a women being assaulted, and a woman gets upset... it seems people are quicker to blame the woman, before admitting "my bad, wasn't thinking" :whistle:

Even though it's essentially the same thing.
 
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I hope this works. I've never seen a soft-policy like "please be more accurate in your descriptions" ever work on a forum before, but I'm really hoping this is the exception.

...and I'm really hoping you don't start trying to be any more hardcore about it than you currently are, cuz I've never seen that end well either. :-/
 
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Sidapete said:
I hope this works. I've never seen a soft-policy like "please be more accurate in your descriptions" ever work on a forum before, but I'm really hoping this is the exception.

...and I'm really hoping you don't start trying to be any more hardcore about it than you currently are, cuz I've never seen that end well either. :-/
I love how you're playing both sides of the fence here, lol.
 
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AmberCutie said:
Sidapete said:
I hope this works. I've never seen a soft-policy like "please be more accurate in your descriptions" ever work on a forum before, but I'm really hoping this is the exception.

...and I'm really hoping you don't start trying to be any more hardcore about it than you currently are, cuz I've never seen that end well either. :-/
I love how you're playing both sides of the fence here, lol.
I didn't want to come off like "You're an idiot, this doesn't work" :(

IT'S REALLY COMFORTABLE UP HERE ON THE FENCE YOU SHUTTUP... YOU :(
 
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Bocefish

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Sidapete said:
AmberCutie said:
Sidapete said:
I hope this works. I've never seen a soft-policy like "please be more accurate in your descriptions" ever work on a forum before, but I'm really hoping this is the exception.

...and I'm really hoping you don't start trying to be any more hardcore about it than you currently are, cuz I've never seen that end well either. :-/
I love how you're playing both sides of the fence here, lol.
I didn't want to come off like "You're an idiot, this doesn't work" :(

IT'S REALLY COMFORTABLE UP HERE ON THE FENCE YOU SHUTTUP... YOU :(
 

AmberCutie

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Updating this topic then locking it. :)

Spoiler tags have been implemented to help with previously discussed issues.

Here's the new post explaining it.

Thank you!
 
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