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She doesn't want to go in private

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Oct 6, 2020
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Hello

It's been about one month that i'm talking to a model and we are getting along very well. I took her in private when I saw her on the first day and we spent a great moment. She felt comfortable enough to directly give me her whatsapp number even though she was usually selling it at a high price.


We talked everyday for 3 weeks (mostly on the webcam site) and we started to know each other better. During this time, I was tipping her very few tokens but she kept talking with me and she said she wanted to meet me in real life.

As I didn't tip her a lot, I wanted to take her in private the other day, but she suddendly felt very shy about it and she even had to cancelled the show. She said she was very sorry, she didn't know what happened and she confessed that it was the first time she felt like that. I told her it was ok and that we could postpone the show to another day but she said that she would then consider me as a regular user. I believe I confused her but I don't know what to think about her reaction, especially considering that she didn't have any problem going in private with customers until now.

How would you explain that? Did I trouble her? Could it be explained by the fact she might feel something for me? Or does she see me as a friend? I don't know if I should be happy to see that she's doesn't consider me as a regular user or if I should be upset to notice that she doesn't want to go in private with me. Did you already refuse a show and if yes, why?

Thanks to give me your opinion
 
Last edited:
May 18, 2020
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Nobody but her can know what's going on inside her head, but if you wanted to take her into private and she for some reason refused to do so, just leave it and move on. Could be she has come to consider you a friend and have started feeling weird about doing privates with you. It happens. Despite what Hollywood and angsty twentysomethings would have you believe, sometimes you are friendzoned because you've actually become a friend. On the other hand it could be a clumsy way of saying she just don't want to have a private with you. Who knows.

I've been doing the same as you since about June, i.e. talking regularly with a particular model (via the cam site, and mostly when she is off), but I've heard no "threats" about being considered a regular user or have any requests for privates refused.
 
Jun 17, 2019
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It can be harder to perform if she considers you a friend. I've always felt awkward being visited by models I'd consider friends, couldn't imagine doing a Pvt show lol. Even in the reverse situation, there was a model I wanted to take Pvt when she started accepting them, but the second she said she considered me a friend it just made the thought of taking her Pvt seem weird.

I know in my case at least it's because I care about their opinions more than some random user who's just a coloured name on a screen.
 
Oct 6, 2020
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You got friend zoned. It happens. I have a long term regular that I became friends with and sexual stuff with him is just awkward now LOL I truly enjoy him but just can't do that with him anymore.

It can be harder to perform if she considers you a friend. I've always felt awkward being visited by models I'd consider friends, couldn't imagine doing a Pvt show lol. Even in the reverse situation, there was a model I wanted to take Pvt when she started accepting them, but the second she said she considered me a friend it just made the thought of taking her Pvt seem weird.

I know in my case at least it's because I care about their opinions more than some random user who's just a coloured name on a screen.

I agree, it looks like I have been friend zoned. But on the other hand, I know she's looking for a boyfriend there and I can tell from our conversations that she considered me as the first option. She was ready to meet me and still want to see me. She even asked me if I was single. Maybe that her feelings have changed from the moment I answered that question since I said that I was single but I was talking to another girl for a long time.

Nobody but her can know what's going on inside her head, but if you wanted to take her into private and she for some reason refused to do so, just leave it and move on. Could be she has come to consider you a friend and have started feeling weird about doing privates with you. It happens. Despite what Hollywood and angsty twentysomethings would have you believe, sometimes you are friendzoned because you've actually become a friend. On the other hand it could be a clumsy way of saying she just don't want to have a private with you. Who knows.

I've been doing the same as you since about June, i.e. talking regularly with a particular model (via the cam site, and mostly when she is off), but I've heard no "threats" about being considered a regular user or have any requests for privates refused.

Actually she accepted to go in private but when I asked her to dance she said she couldn't do it. Don't know if it was the action of dancing that caused her problems or if she didn't want to go in private.
 
Oct 6, 2020
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So if the final goal is to see each other in order to start a relationship, how do you avoid being friendzoned?

Maybe that I waited too much time to take her in private beetween my first and second show but I couldn't afford going in private really often, so what should I have done instead? If the goal is to meet then better spend time knowing each other no? Maybe that I should have talked to her outside the site?
 
May 18, 2020
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So if the final goal is to see each other in order to start a relationship, how do you avoid being friendzoned?
Being friendzoned is just one of those things. It's a force of nature and when it happens it happens and it's nobody's fault.

But ... I have a feeling you're not telling us everything. Your first post sounded like you were into her strictly as a user visiting a camgirl, and now you're on to starting a relationship after a month of cam site visits. Is that right?

Maybe that I waited too much time to take her in private beetween my first and second show but I couldn't afford going in private really often, so what should I have done instead? If the goal is to meet then better spend time knowing each other no? Maybe that I should have talked to her outside the site?
Uh, bear with me here ...
If you meet a cam model at a cam site and you both somehow end up falling for each other (or did you?), the frequency of past private shows should be of no consequence. If she consider you boyfriend material and want to meet with you to test that, her refusing your money at the cam site isn't really surprising.

But what do you mean "talked outside the site"? Didn't you get her WhatsApp? What did you do with her WhatsApp, exactly?
 
Apr 21, 2020
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Based on the info you’ve shared so far, I’m undecided whether you got friend-zoned or she’s hitting the brakes for a different reason.

But, the friend zone topic is interesting to me. Because it makes sense that it happens (everyone is human) but in the cam site setting, it’s more intriguing IMO.

I wouldn’t say it’s common, but I’ve had it happen both ways. One model I visit a lot - and get along great with - I never take private because it would be weird for me. I tip her well during public shows, but there’s no one-on-one intimacy in those, so it feels less weird.

Another model, we got along great from the start, but that made private shows weird for her (not for me, but she said she felt butterflies as if it were a first date instead of a paid show... from then on, I kept my tips to her in public, because I’m not trying to make anyone uncomfortable).
 
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EliMarie717

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So if the final goal is to see each other in order to start a relationship, how do you avoid being friendzoned?

Maybe that I waited too much time to take her in private beetween my first and second show but I couldn't afford going in private really often, so what should I have done instead? If the goal is to meet then better spend time knowing each other no? Maybe that I should have talked to her outside the site?
I tried to friend zone, my boyfriend, before I had a child with him. In response, he simply persisted and kept saying things, that made it clear he was interested in more than friends. Eventually, I found the persistence extremely sexy. Make it clear you do not accept friend zone, if that is what you think is happening. It might have the effect of coming across as really manly and sexy.

Or you could say something direct and romantic like; "My feelings for you are such that I must have your full heart or nothing at all. I cannot accept only part of you, because you are the woman that fulfils every fantasy of my penis, my mind, and my heart. I won't go all Vincent Van Gogh on you or anything, but if I can't be the one for you, I am afraid (for my own good) I must start seeing what else is out there in the jungle. Because my heart beats with a raw and unfulfilled passion, which simply must be requited, Mi Amor. " 💗💗💗
 
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AmberCutie

ACF Owner & Admin. (I don't work for CB.)
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Is this our “wayward friend” of a thousand names trying to sneak back on?
I feel like this one is way more put together than the other lol.
 

MissCJ

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Uhhh...the goal should never be to meet a cam model outside the site. I'm not sure what her deal is but the whole thing is weird and unprofessional. I have friends on the site I'd consider actual friends and I don't get weird about showing them my titties. That's what our friendship is based off of after all 🤷‍♀️ I'd find a new cam girl. There are thousands of them and you won't have to play therapist or concerned bf. Just my 2 cents though.
 

Marceline

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Aug 11, 2017
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This thread has reminded me how much I really dislike the term “friend zoned”. Just reminds me of r/niceguys type bs. And, if a guy I considered a friend admitted he had feelings for me and wouldn’t let up after I told him I was not interested in pursuing anything romantic/sexual with him, I’d straight up drop him as a friend. It’s inconsiderate and selfish to push your feelings on someone who clearly does not reciprocate them. Shows they don’t care about you as a person, only about what they want.

Anyway, putting that aside, I’d say wanting to meet a member after talking to him for less than a month and saying that she is actively looking for a boyfriend on cam sites is a huge red flag. Not sure what’s up with any of this, but honestly I’d say your best bet is to move on.
 

BobVagene

Banhammered
Oct 7, 2020
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So if the final goal is to see each other in order to start a relationship, how do you avoid being friendzoned?

Maybe that I waited too much time to take her in private beetween my first and second show but I couldn't afford going in private really often, so what should I have done instead? If the goal is to meet then better spend time knowing each other no? Maybe that I should have talked to her outside the site?

You should join a dating site or go to a bar. Camsites probably aren't a good place to be trying to form meaningful relationships.
 

AmberCutie

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Anyway, putting that aside, I’d say wanting to meet a member after talking to him for less than a month and saying that she is actively looking for a boyfriend on cam sites is a huge red flag. Not sure what’s up with any of this, but honestly I’d say your best bet is to move on.
This is my take, too..
 

mike_aussie

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Well something has changed on her side for sure, to turn down private show tokens. Hive, you need to make it clear exactly what you want out of the relationship/friendship and find out exactly what she wants from it. Clear communication. If she gives you the run-around instead of a straight answer MOVE ON.
 
Oct 6, 2020
9
1
1
Being friendzoned is just one of those things. It's a force of nature and when it happens it happens and it's nobody's fault.

But ... I have a feeling you're not telling us everything. Your first post sounded like you were into her strictly as a user visiting a camgirl, and now you're on to starting a relationship after a month of cam site visits. Is that right?


Uh, bear with me here ...
If you meet a cam model at a cam site and you both somehow end up falling for each other (or did you?), the frequency of past private shows should be of no consequence. If she consider you boyfriend material and want to meet with you to test that, her refusing your money at the cam site isn't really surprising.

But what do you mean "talked outside the site"? Didn't you get her WhatsApp? What did you do with her WhatsApp, exactly?

You were right. I always visit profile of girls I'm attracted to so she didn't leave me indifferent at first sight but the fact that we got a great feeling pushed me more into her again.

I agree with the fact that it would not be suprising for her to refuse my money in case she would like to start something with me. That's why it's difficult to guess if I have been friend zoned or, not.

I was talking in whatsapp with her at the beginning, until her phone broke. This popped up like a red flag for me since it cleary sounded like an excuse but it appeared that it was the truth. She told me she's going to create a new number and buy a new phone before the end of the week and she will add me then. This will be a real test to see if she's clearly into me or not. If she doesn't add me on whatsapp, then it will certainly means she's no interested. Answer in a few days....
 
Oct 6, 2020
9
1
1
Based on the info you’ve shared so far, I’m undecided whether you got friend-zoned or she’s hitting the brakes for a different reason.

But, the friend zone topic is interesting to me. Because it makes sense that it happens (everyone is human) but in the cam site setting, it’s more intriguing IMO.

I wouldn’t say it’s common, but I’ve had it happen both ways. One model I visit a lot - and get along great with - I never take private because it would be weird for me. I tip her well during public shows, but there’s no one-on-one intimacy in those, so it feels less weird.

Another model, we got along great from the start, but that made private shows weird for her (not for me, but she said she felt butterflies as if it were a first date instead of a paid show... from then on, I kept my tips to her in public, because I’m not trying to make anyone uncomfortable).

Thanks for sharing your experience. Do you think that things would be different if for any reason you met them in real life? I believe that they probably wouldn't react the same way since privates create this cozy and intimate atmosphere that can make them feel incomfortable especially with someone they know since it directly comes to the action while in real life you could soften things a lot more. Generally speaking, I think that they could certainly react in a certain way in private but in a totally different one in real life.
 
Oct 6, 2020
9
1
1
I tried to friend zone, my boyfriend, before I had a child with him. In response, he simply persisted and kept saying things, that made it clear he was interested in more than friends. Eventually, I found the persistence extremely sexy. Make it clear you do not accept friend zone, if that is what you think is happening. It might have the effect of coming across as really manly and sexy.

Or you could say something direct and romantic like; "My feelings for you are such that I must have your full heart or nothing at all. I cannot accept only part of you, because you are the woman that fulfils every fantasy of my penis, my mind, and my heart. I won't go all Vincent Van Gogh on you or anything, but if I can't be the one for you, I am afraid (for my own good) I must start seeing what else is out there in the jungle. Because my heart beats with a raw and unfulfilled passion, which simply must be requited, Mi Amor. " 💗💗💗

Thanks a lot for your advices. They sound really usefull.

Uhhh...the goal should never be to meet a cam model outside the site. I'm not sure what her deal is but the whole thing is weird and unprofessional. I have friends on the site I'd consider actual friends and I don't get weird about showing them my titties. That's what our friendship is based off of after all 🤷‍♀️ I'd find a new cam girl. There are thousands of them and you won't have to play therapist or concerned bf. Just my 2 cents though.
This thread has reminded me how much I really dislike the term “friend zoned”. Just reminds me of r/niceguys type bs. And, if a guy I considered a friend admitted he had feelings for me and wouldn’t let up after I told him I was not interested in pursuing anything romantic/sexual with him, I’d straight up drop him as a friend. It’s inconsiderate and selfish to push your feelings on someone who clearly does not reciprocate them. Shows they don’t care about you as a person, only about what they want.

Anyway, putting that aside, I’d say wanting to meet a member after talking to him for less than a month and saying that she is actively looking for a boyfriend on cam sites is a huge red flag. Not sure what’s up with any of this, but honestly I’d say your best bet is to move on.

Of course not all the models are looking for love here but It is obvious that some of them would not refuse to start a relationship with some of their users if they are getting along well. I don't see why it would be a red flag as long as there are no financial motivations behind it. I would even go further and say that there are way more couples between camgirls and viewers than what we actually think. I would be interested to know the part of the models that have been involved in a relationship with a user while working online.
 
Oct 6, 2020
9
1
1
You should join a dating site or go to a bar. Camsites probably aren't a good place to be trying to form meaningful relationships.

I agree but my purpose was not to start a relationship when I first came to see her.
Well something has changed on her side for sure, to turn down private show tokens. Hive, you need to make it clear exactly what you want out of the relationship/friendship and find out exactly what she wants from it. Clear communication. If she gives you the run-around instead of a straight answer MOVE ON.

Yeah that's the way to go. I will try to know what she clearly wants. It's obvious that something has changed... in a good or bad way? The future will tell. But it's obvious that i'm not the only guy that might be attracted to her.
 
Sep 11, 2020
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You got friend zoned. It happens. I have a long term regular that I became friends with and sexual stuff with him is just awkward now LOL I truly enjoy him but just can't do that with him anymore.
yes i think you are right .. i do the same with the guys i feel them as friends . cant ever do any private with them, making me feel shy and strange. ok with strangers that i dont know i do private but not with my friends that are there for me . And yes i also gaved my wassap to the guys i consider friends there , but never to those who want private to masturbate, they arent friends :)) My friends online also not tipping much but they are there for me, to keep me company and to support me and that matters a lot.
 
D

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Of course not all the models are looking for love here but It is obvious that some of them would not refuse to start a relationship with some of their users if they are getting along well. I don't see why it would be a red flag as long as there are no financial motivations behind it. I would even go further and say that there are way more couples between camgirls and viewers than what we actually think. I would be interested to know the part of the models that have been involved in a relationship with a user while working online.

Depending on what country you're in, and the model lives in, there may be other reasons than strictly financial gain. Means of moving out of their country, citizenship in your country, etc. are some of the common reasons and are what many countries immigration services potentially look for in sham marriages.

This isn't to say that she's trying to take advantage of you. But, you do need to be cautious in online relationships as you have no idea what the person is like behind the screen. Or, if it is even who you think it is at all.
 
May 18, 2020
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I was talking in whatsapp with her at the beginning, until her phone broke. This popped up like a red flag for me since it cleary sounded like an excuse but it appeared that it was the truth. She told me she's going to create a new number and buy a new phone before the end of the week and she will add me then. This will be a real test to see if she's clearly into me or not. If she doesn't add me on whatsapp, then it will certainly means she's no interested. Answer in a few days....
Yep, the all too familiar cam-model-broken-phone syndrome. I'm pretty sure that instead of her phone actually being broken, she is trying to move you over to a phone number that isn't her personal one. It could also of course be the other way around; she is trying to get you over on a whatsapp the studio can't eavesdrop on, but I wouldn't count on it. In any case, keep in mind what @ForceTen says above and be on the lookout.

I spent close to a year talking (too much) to a cam model on WhatsApp and Skype, and we became quite close. Near the end of it, right before she left the studio, gave up camming and for all practical purposes disappeared, I got several WhatsApp messages from from her from another phone number. We had probably been talking/writing on her studio issued phone all along. There is more to this story, but nothing that is relevant in this thread.

What I mean is this; be honest and fortright in your communication and demand the same from her. Also try to do the impossible by not thinking too much with your dick 😉
 

Marceline

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Of course not all the models are looking for love here but It is obvious that some of them would not refuse to start a relationship with some of their users if they are getting along well. I don't see why it would be a red flag as long as there are no financial motivations behind it.

It’s a red flag because most women understand that meeting a guy from their cam site, especially one they have only known for a very short amount of time, can be potentially dangerous. If a cam model is so willing to act against their sense of self preservation or just doesn’t feel that instinctive need to protect herself by putting herself into a situation where she can be legitimately hurt it’s more than likely because she is either emotionally dependent or looking for something else, such as a green card or a way out of her current living situation. Since she could probably easily find a man in her area, I’m going to go ahead and say the latter is the much more likely reason.

Ask yourself, why would a beautiful and likable woman be actively searching for a boyfriend on a site where people go to pay women for their time instead of looking on dating sites?
 
D

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Ask yourself, why would a beautiful and likable woman be actively searching for a boyfriend on a site where people go to pay women for their time instead of looking on dating sites?

I often ask myself why a beautiful and likable woman would be interested in me at all. :haha:


Having been on dating sites/apps in previous years, I'll say they were not that good for me. I have a few female friends who had very bad experiences with them such as men convicted of sexual assault, domestic abuse, and other crimes when they started doing searches on the person's name. Granted, there's a lot of success stories. But, goes to show that even on sites which are designed to be dating there are potential risks. Makes one wonder why in the OP's case, why someone would so willingly throw herself into finding someone on a cam site if not for financial gain?
 

mike_aussie

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Thanks for sharing your experience. Do you think that things would be different if for any reason you met them in real life? I believe that they probably wouldn't react the same way since privates create this cozy and intimate atmosphere that can make them feel incomfortable especially with someone they know since it directly comes to the action while in real life you could soften things a lot more. Generally speaking, I think that they could certainly react in a certain way in private but in a totally different one in real life.

Yes, whether you are meeting someone online or a physical first date there is a huge chance the person you are presented with is not their full or even real personality. That takes time and a lot of close interaction to discover.
 
Sep 11, 2020
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I will never understand all this guys posts, about hoping that a cam girl is looking for a bf without money .. or without spending on her , and they wanna see if shes honest and if she doesnt want his money . I really dont get it, moslty cam models are online becouse they need money, and a big part of us coming from poor contries , where we are sick of poor boyfriends that we need to pay for everything trips, and all becouse salary is very low not that they not good persons :) so my question is why they need to look onlnie and dream to find a non spending bf also? at least if i meet a guy from online, , beside we like to talk and getting close of course he need to show me he is better then the poor bfs i can get around me and that he can affort to give me a good life next to him, to find a bf on cam to take me to his house to put me on cam also to make money , where is the deal? lol Also guys need to understand a cam model will never run to meet a guy who takes her in pvt and ask her shows doenst matter how much he spend on her, if he cant just stay around her without asking sexual stuff he can stop dreaming about a love story . I could never fall for a guy who come to put me to work in pvt when he say he loves me and he cares . One of my best friends cam model is married in uk for like 9 y now, happly married, the guy took her in pvt a lot , on jasmin ;, and he only talked to her and they become close, he never asked her anything sexual and she fall for him... if he was like the rest 99.99 procent , they was not married now and happy .. So chances to make a cam model fall for you is 1 to spend, and 2 to not be like others treating her as a piece of meat.
 
Apr 21, 2020
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Thanks for sharing your experience. Do you think that things would be different if for any reason you met them in real life? I believe that they probably wouldn't react the same way since privates create this cozy and intimate atmosphere that can make them feel incomfortable especially with someone they know since it directly comes to the action while in real life you could soften things a lot more. Generally speaking, I think that they could certainly react in a certain way in private but in a totally different one in real life.

Not to evade your question, but it never crosses my mind to meet a model in real life, so I don’t know. I’m friendly enough with a couple models that we talk about things like family and other personal details, and I still never entertain the idea of real-life meetings.
 

AudriTwo

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Actually she accepted to go in private but when I asked her to dance she said she couldn't do it. Don't know if it was the action of dancing that caused her problems or if she didn't want to go in private.
orrr she probably can't dance. I refuse to do dancing privates because I cannot dance and feel awkward doing those types of shows.

I would even go further and say that there are way more couples between camgirls and viewers than what we actually think.
Just because it can happen, doesn't mean it will with you.

I won't deny it happens, but it's definitely rare. Hell, there are a couple of ACF members who have. Throughout my years in the industry, I've only met a few that had successful relationships happen. I have also met a handful of models who have gotten close and even marry past members, but it didn't work out. From my experience with cammodels I have interacted with throughout the years- online and off, when they began camming, they already had committed relationships prior. A good amount keeps their relationships secret from their audience too to keep up with the fantasy that dream girl is available. Hell, if I announced I was getting a divorce on cam, I know my audience would eat it up that they could POSSIBLY have a chance with me.

Camsites are fantasy PAY sites, not dating sites. Most models working cams are interested in making money, not looking for Mr Right. If you are using camsites to pursue a romantic interest, you are going to get hustled and have a bad time. best let it come naturally. models who are romantically interested in their members always have to be honest with their feelings and move all interaction not connected with camming. Like not only visiting her when she is on cam.
 
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