my sons fathers friend somehow found my cam and showed him. Not sure if it was on streamate or chaturbate but I don't know what to do about this. I wasn't on cam at the time so I told him it wasn't me but not in afraid to go on cam and be seen.
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Sons father found me
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Miss_Lollipop
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need way more information about this.... what the concerns are, who this man is, how old your son is, how he found you, how you found out etc.. before anyone can tell you what you might do. It's a tough situation 
Miss_Lollipop said:need way more information about this.... what the concerns are, who this man is, how old your son is, how he found you, how you found out etc.. before anyone can tell you what you might do. It's a tough situation
The concern is him telling friends and family. He was incarcerated for domestic violence against me. I have no idea how he found out and he was very vague about what he saw. As far as I kno he doesn't know how to get to my cam but his friend does. I found out because he sent me a message on facebook about it. My son is 4.
Miss_Lollipop
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Tiffanylux said:Miss_Lollipop said:need way more information about this.... what the concerns are, who this man is, how old your son is, how he found you, how you found out etc.. before anyone can tell you what you might do. It's a tough situation
The concern is him telling friends and family. He was incarcerated for domestic violence against me. I have no idea how he found out and he was very vague about what he saw. As far as I kno he doesn't know how to get to my cam but his friend does. I found out because he sent me a message on facebook about it. My son is 4.
Oh wow, im so sorry. I really don't feel qualified to give much advice here.. but hopefully someone will. I guess it comes down to what you think he'll do and his reaction. I'd hate for you to live in fear.. or have to quit your job for fear of that.
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Tiffanylux said:Miss_Lollipop said:need way more information about this.... what the concerns are, who this man is, how old your son is, how he found you, how you found out etc.. before anyone can tell you what you might do. It's a tough situation
I am not a lawyer or an expert, but I do have some experience in distancing myself from very shitty people.
The concern is him telling friends and family. He was incarcerated for domestic violence against me. I have no idea how he found out and he was very vague about what he saw. As far as I kno he doesn't know how to get to my cam but his friend does. I found out because he sent me a message on facebook about it. My son is 4.
First of all, get rid of facebook or at least change your name/photos/etc on there so you are very hard to search. You don't want anyone to be able to connect your facebook to your cam persona. you may have friends on facebook who report back to your ex about you.
Do you have any reason to believe these people would post your information online to get revenge? Being embarassed around friends or family is one thing, stalking or harassment is another. Do not be afraid to cut anyone out of your life who wants to shame you or treat you badly- you're not doing anything wrong by camming.
Secondly you should block the guy who outed you to your ex. Do not communicate with him in anyway.
Im assuming that because your son's father was incarcerated for abuse, that he does not have custody or visitation? If thats the case, there is no reason he should be able to message you on facebook or contact you at all.
If you fear for your safety, or that you may be harassed by real life people I think you should stop using those cam accounts and photos. Make a new account somewhere else with all new name, photos etc and make use of your region block.
If your username here is the same as your camming one, be aware that he ma be able to google it and find this thread.
Jessi said:Tiffanylux said:Miss_Lollipop said:need way more information about this.... what the concerns are, who this man is, how old your son is, how he found you, how you found out etc.. before anyone can tell you what you might do. It's a tough situation
I am not a lawyer or an expert, but I do have some experience in distancing myself from very shitty people.
The concern is him telling friends and family. He was incarcerated for domestic violence against me. I have no idea how he found out and he was very vague about what he saw. As far as I kno he doesn't know how to get to my cam but his friend does. I found out because he sent me a message on facebook about it. My son is 4.
First of all, get rid of facebook or at least change your name/photos/etc on there so you are very hard to search. You don't want anyone to be able to connect your facebook to your cam persona. you may have friends on facebook who report back to your ex about you.
Do you have any reason to believe these people would post your information online to get revenge? Being embarassed around friends or family is one thing, stalking or harassment is another. Do not be afraid to cut anyone out of your life who wants to shame you or treat you badly- you're not doing anything wrong by camming.
Secondly you should block the guy who outed you to your ex. Do not communicate with him in anyway.
Im assuming that because your son's father was incarcerated for abuse, that he does not have custody or visitation? If thats the case, there is no reason he should be able to message you on facebook or contact you at all.
If you fear for your safety, or that you may be harassed by real life people I think you should stop using those cam accounts and photos. Make a new account somewhere else with all new name, photos etc and make use of your region block.
If your username here is the same as your camming one, be aware that he ma be able to google it and find this thread.
Thank you. I have the state blocked so I don't know how he got on or even which site. I blocked my sons father on social media after the message. I'm concerned about him and his friends watching me on cam also. I have pretty bad anxiety issues but I'm ok with canning because they are usually strangers who have no idea who I am. I'm not sure I could do away with facebook though I recent moved states and it's my only contact with a lot of friends/family. I don't want to create new profiles because these ARE new profiles as I usted to be solely on MFC but I worked for a studio I no longer work for.
Sorry to hear this. And, sorry that I may add to your anxiety. But, blocking states is not foolproof. There are both ways to anonymize ones ip address (location) as well as using proxies.
Also, as an example, if one is using a mobile device, let's say an iPad, which doesn't have flash, and the user wants to use MFC in a non-mobile way so that the user can see models who are not broadcasting for mobile users, a flash browser such as Photon can be used. I believe that by using a flash browser like Photon I am seen as coming from a different location, and a different state.
If anyone knows this to be untrue, please correct me.
Sad to say, but we live in an evil world with evil and bad people.
Also, as an example, if one is using a mobile device, let's say an iPad, which doesn't have flash, and the user wants to use MFC in a non-mobile way so that the user can see models who are not broadcasting for mobile users, a flash browser such as Photon can be used. I believe that by using a flash browser like Photon I am seen as coming from a different location, and a different state.
If anyone knows this to be untrue, please correct me.
Sad to say, but we live in an evil world with evil and bad people.
Alexandra Cole
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You might want to consider changing your cam name and work hours. This would make it a little harder for his friend to find you again.
I'm so sorry this happened to you.
I'm so sorry this happened to you.
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If you arent willing to change your accounts unfortunately there is not much you can do in the event that he decides to out you to people, or if he wants to come into your chatroom and start posting your real name. (for example).
Im sorry this happened to you.
Im sorry this happened to you.
If he does out you, it's not the end of the world...
Somehow my family found out, and a while back someone from my school years who I graduated with watched a show of mine. This person had their camera and all I could see was their bottom half. And then they typed "Is your name [real name]?" I said "How did you know that?" And then he put his camera on his face. I did not block him though, he was in Japan because he's in the Marines. So I didn't mind, but who knows he could've been the one who said something but I doubt it... He's still in Japan.
And I don't speak to my family because we had a falling out which is why I left home.
I don't know how my family found out, but they know. I also didn't tell them my address, annnnnnddd my mom and grammy showed up here out of nowhere and tried to literally come into our apartment and my boyfriend, gosh I don't think anyone would've done this, he went and talked to them and after saying that I was not ready to talk to them, my mom told my boyfriend that I'm dead to her. Still don't know how they got my address. But if they look at me, it's their problem not mine. They are only hurting themselves. And since my mom said that I'm dead lol then there is no reason for anything to be said to them. It sounds harsh, but that's how I think of it.
Maybe this doesn't help you, maybe it does... but, seriously it's not the end of the world.
I won't change my cam name, mainly because plenty of people know me as Emma Skye. And I can't block my state, one of my regulars is from a town in Louisiana. I was thoughtful enough to think of that.
Just be brave, I've been doing this for a year and I sure as hell am not stopping now just because my family knows. I mean, what are they gonna do? Tell Streamate to cancel my account? :lol: They can't do that.
And if you want to continue, do it. Don't let him stop you if you have been successful.
Edit: This is coming from a 20 year old and I don't have a kid... So it's clearly 2 different stories but I just wanted to say that if I can do it, so can you.
Somehow my family found out, and a while back someone from my school years who I graduated with watched a show of mine. This person had their camera and all I could see was their bottom half. And then they typed "Is your name [real name]?" I said "How did you know that?" And then he put his camera on his face. I did not block him though, he was in Japan because he's in the Marines. So I didn't mind, but who knows he could've been the one who said something but I doubt it... He's still in Japan.
And I don't speak to my family because we had a falling out which is why I left home.
I don't know how my family found out, but they know. I also didn't tell them my address, annnnnnddd my mom and grammy showed up here out of nowhere and tried to literally come into our apartment and my boyfriend, gosh I don't think anyone would've done this, he went and talked to them and after saying that I was not ready to talk to them, my mom told my boyfriend that I'm dead to her. Still don't know how they got my address. But if they look at me, it's their problem not mine. They are only hurting themselves. And since my mom said that I'm dead lol then there is no reason for anything to be said to them. It sounds harsh, but that's how I think of it.
Maybe this doesn't help you, maybe it does... but, seriously it's not the end of the world.
I won't change my cam name, mainly because plenty of people know me as Emma Skye. And I can't block my state, one of my regulars is from a town in Louisiana. I was thoughtful enough to think of that.
Just be brave, I've been doing this for a year and I sure as hell am not stopping now just because my family knows. I mean, what are they gonna do? Tell Streamate to cancel my account? :lol: They can't do that.
And if you want to continue, do it. Don't let him stop you if you have been successful.
Edit: This is coming from a 20 year old and I don't have a kid... So it's clearly 2 different stories but I just wanted to say that if I can do it, so can you.
Coming from someone who has personal experience in this… changing your name and starting a {mostly} new following on an entirely new site wasn't as hard you might think.
Also, like someone mentioned there isn't really a fool proof way to keep people out of your cam room or keep people from recording your shows..and posting them on random sites for others to find. I had a show of mine watched at a house party (of about 35-40) of my old high school "friends" on New Years Eve a few years back… talk about awkward lol :lol:
Family, friends, neighbors, etc are going to find out, if you do this long enough ...you just have to be ok with that at the end of the day If you're not - then maybe taking a step back and re-evaluating your options is a good choice.
Good luck and hang in there!
Also, like someone mentioned there isn't really a fool proof way to keep people out of your cam room or keep people from recording your shows..and posting them on random sites for others to find. I had a show of mine watched at a house party (of about 35-40) of my old high school "friends" on New Years Eve a few years back… talk about awkward lol :lol:
Family, friends, neighbors, etc are going to find out, if you do this long enough ...you just have to be ok with that at the end of the day
If you're not - then maybe taking a step back and re-evaluating your options is a good choice. Good luck and hang in there!
emma_skye12 said:
I dont know how streamate works . But on MFC, anyone the model has on her friends list isn't blocked by the state block.
Swarles123 said:
On Streamate there is no friends list so I'm pretty sure if I were to block my state it would block anyone from my state.
Everyone in this thread so far has given really good advice, just thought I'd throw out a few more things you could potentially do to protect your family:
-Like mentioned before, block him on every single platform you can possibly block him on. Block his friends and family as well if you feel you need to go that far.
-Record and document every single interaction he has with you or tries to have you with you. If he tries to talk to your friends about you, record that too. Nothing ever has to come of these recordings, necessarily, but it's essential to have on hand.
-Remember to follow the rules to a T. I'm sure you already are, but double checking you're not messing up yourself will always make you look better.
-Remember that what you're doing is 100% legal, and totally legit way to support your family, and it doesn't make you a bad person or a bad mother in any way, shape or form. Just focus on earning a living and creating a loving and healthy environment for your son and I'm positive you guys will do great
Social work is very near and dear to my heart, so that's the perspective I'm trying to come from here. Good luck!
-Like mentioned before, block him on every single platform you can possibly block him on. Block his friends and family as well if you feel you need to go that far.
-Record and document every single interaction he has with you or tries to have you with you. If he tries to talk to your friends about you, record that too. Nothing ever has to come of these recordings, necessarily, but it's essential to have on hand.
-Remember to follow the rules to a T. I'm sure you already are, but double checking you're not messing up yourself will always make you look better.
-Remember that what you're doing is 100% legal, and totally legit way to support your family, and it doesn't make you a bad person or a bad mother in any way, shape or form. Just focus on earning a living and creating a loving and healthy environment for your son and I'm positive you guys will do great
Social work is very near and dear to my heart, so that's the perspective I'm trying to come from here. Good luck!
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Despite all this basic and useful advice, if one is web savvy, you can be found and blocks can be gone around. If you are unwilling to completely change and make completely new and UNASSOCIATED ACCOUNTS not tied to any old you, then you make it pretty easy. Bottom line is as stated earlier.. If you aren't ok with being found out by whomever, you may want to rethink the job itself. :twocents-02cents:
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