the unofficial pet prank thread!

[southsamurai]

ok, it came up and boy do i have a story!

years ago i worked for a paraplegic gentleman who kept great danes. love the breed because of my experiences with his two, but you want to talk about some funny damned animals? whoooo

ok part of my job was cleaning the home, and me being me i went above and beyond. my client also kept freshwater fish is three large aquariums in his den. in order to clean the largest of them it was necessary to get down on the floor and reach back under the cabinet to unhook the filter about once a month to chanter the media in it.

one of his danes was a giant of a girl, solid black and silly as two barrels of drunken monkeys. she and i hit it off from day one and she followed me around while i took care of the daily tasks there. if i bent over she would goose me with her nose. if i reached for the broom she would grab it and run to the other end of the house. i swear that dog could laugh like a person.

her absolute favorite prank on me was during tank cleaning time. while i was on my back, arms reaching up into the cabinet to unhook hoses she would sneak around (and yes a dog that big can sneak if they really want to) and plop her big fuzzy butt right on my face. this included times when she was in heat, which could be rather.... funky ... for lack of a better phrase.

of course after the third time this happened i figured out her pattern and got smart. i shut her in the spare room while i was cleaning the tanks. this worked for a few times. given several sessions in there she figured out how to grab the knob with her teeth, open the door and sneak around to sit on my face yet again.
after that i sort of gave up on the idea of shutting her in the room or outside (the door was equipped with a pull the dogs could use to get in and out for potty times) and decided to use a leash. ever seen a great dane pull a couch across a house? i did. it was awesome lol.

 

[Jillybean]

Lol, ok so you're gonna make me post this again?

There's a broken screen on the window in my bathroom. I won't fix it because there's a gecko that visits. He hangs out in the screen and eats the bugs. My Turdcat LOVES to try and get at this gecko. I had the window open once and he got in the house, and was in there for days until I finally got him out. He lost a tail on that expedition of his. Turd ate it. But he grew it back finally!

Anyway, the prank I pull on my shitty kitty... She LOVES to watch this lizard. So sometimes I'll go in the bathroom and I'll shout, "ERHMAHGERRRD TURD! There's a big lizard. Turd you better come quick!"

And no matter where she is, she will ALWAYS come running to the bathroom to see him. I do it all the time, even when he's not in there. She dashes in, and sits on the windowsill, all confused and meowing. Like she's saying, "Where? Where? Where is he?"

Ohhhh I love my Turd. I will have to film this some day.

Woohoo for copypasta. :dance:

after that i sort of gave up on the idea of shutting her in the room or outside (the door was equipped with a pull the dogs could use to get in and out for potty times) and decided to use a leash. ever seen a great dane pull a couch across a house? i did. it was awesome lol.

Awww! I LOVE big dogs. I used to house-sit for a lawyer and he had a saint bernard. She used to chase me all over the place, tackling me to the ground, she'd go swimming with me... Once we were playing in the house and she knocked over one of his arcade machines... LOL! And the man had this HUGE shower that had a spirally hallway to get into it, no doors or anything... Come to think of it, his whole house had no doors. Every private area was just cleverly designed to be "hidden." So she always wound up in the shower, too. I miss her.. I didn't realize I loved her so much until I just started writing about her just now.

 

[Rose]

My dogs take after their human daddy, always up to shit! :lol:

Sadie likes to crop dust. She'll do it anywhere, anytime and to anyone and she thinks it's the funniest thing ever. Her favorite place to do it is when we're visiting at my parents' and the whole family is gathered in the living room or when we're at the dinner table. She'll sneak into the room, let one rip right next to Grammaw and then she'll haul ass into the next room and wait until the commotion subsides to come back in and posture. Grammaw is her favorite person to crop dust because Grammaw gives the biggest reaction. :lol: I'm not sure if my mother will ever learn to not react to it so that Sadie will stop. Oh well, they both love each other and give each other special greetings every time they see each other so I doubt either of them will ever stop.

Sammy is the BIG trouble maker. He's learned more mischief from his human daddy than I thought possible. Aside from his regular shenanigans (eating inedible objects, trying to find a way to get on the balcony to jump off the roof, trying to escape and play in traffic, etc.) he's quite the trickster.

His favorite game is snatch and run. Or in other words, snatch the closest object nearest him that WILL kill him to make Mommy panic and chase after him.
*There's also hide Daddy's socks,
*booby trap the stairs (put his spiky deer antlers at the top step right where we can't see them),
*hot lava the front door (pee on the linoleum where we can't see it until we step in it),
*unexpected wet willies,
*crawl under the bed covers and pretend not to breathe until Mommy and Daddy freak out,
*sniff Mom's butt crack when she's getting dressed and make her squeal because of cold, wet nose,
*pretend to be in his crate and then jump out from behind the bedroom door or the bed and make Mommy pee herself,
*pretend to be at the end of the bed and then pounce on the bed and scare the crap out of whoever's on it (dogs and humans are not immune to this),
*pretend to be sniffing Daddy's hair and then start chewing off HUGE sections when he's not paying attention and then run away with the chunks of hair,
*my germs! (lick Mommy's food and then whine when she doesn't give it to me),
*fart in Sadie's face and make her gag and his all time favorite and possible the worst on the list,
*sneak up behind Daddy when he's looking for his work clothes (that Sammy already hid) and shove his nose completely in Daddy's taint. And Sammy thought Mommy made funny noises when she gets startled with a cold nose..... :whistle:

It's no wonder my hair is already completely grey! I live with this crap on a daily basis. So far today Sadie has crop dusted me twice, Sammy has booby trapped the stairs three times, he's hidden behind the door when I went to go pee and nearly made me wet myself and he goosed me when I was trying to get dressed this morning. Bedtime isn't for another hour or two so I'm sure we'll get more shenanigans during that time. :lol: They're lucky I love them so damn much.

 

[LacieLaPlante]

When I play fetch with my dog, a lot of the time he will drop the ball down a hill next to the parking lot in my complex and then just sniff around so I have to go get the ball :/

 

[VenPerv2]

my old childhood dog used to have a "special" blanket that she used to hump much to the amusement of the entire family, when people would visit, especially my sisters new boyfriends and we were outside sitting around the fire he would offer them this particular blanket to keep warm, only we knew the effect it was going to have, and sure enough soon as they put it on it was a relentless leg assault over the blankey laughs were had all round :lol:

 

[JordanBlack]

One of my cats loves to jump on my back, every morning, while I wash my face, brush my teeth. Not only that I have to do continue getting the soap out of my eyes while she puts her claws into my shoulders, but she only starts licking my hair :lol:

I clean the litter box. Then suddenly 5 cats need to poop and pee instantaneously. Literally 3 in there at once. And 2 waiting outside of it. It's RIDICULOUS !!

Also this, I have 8 cats that all want to go do their thing in the same time, but they only do it if they see me cleaning. Of course the girls jump the male cats all the time, to go first.

Oh and my youngest dog, one year old, leaves his toys and bones everywhere in the house, like traps for us humans. Every night, I have to take this small lantern if I wanna get something from the fridge, because otherwise I risk having a bone stuck in my foot or a squeaky toy waking up the whole house.

 

[Jillybean]

One of my cats loves to jump on my back, every morning, while I wash my face, brush my teeth. Not only that I have to do continue getting the soap out of my eyes while she puts her claws into my shoulders, but she only starts licking my hair :lol:

Mine does this to me after I get out of the shower. She attacks my wet hair, and starts licking it. She's so, so stupid...

She got stuck up on my plant shelf yesterday though. Who the hell knows how she got up there. We just left her while she cried up there so we could laugh. After a couple minutes I felt bad, though and got her down.

 

[Teagan]

I clean the litter box. Then suddenly 5 cats need to poop and pee instantaneously. Literally 3 in there at once. And 2 waiting outside of it. It's RIDICULOUS !!

Also this, I have 8 cats that all want to go do their thing in the same time, but they only do it if they see me cleaning. Of course the girls jump the male cats all the time, to go first.

Ive started cleaning the litter box, then walking away for 10 minutes to clean it a second time. It really pisses them off lol.

 

[JordanBlack]

I have more:
- one of my cats has a thing for putting the litter out of the boxes, she digs it out for like 10-15 min - leave the mess she makes and I have to clean, but if it happens in the middle of the night, it sound like she's trying to dig her way inside the apartment below me
- my sister's big dog loves to play fetch with a stick....well you throw him one tiny stick but he comes back with a branch and he carries that thing in front of the house; he has quite the stash lol
- my mums dog only sleeps in front of the fridge, if you wanna get something out she's gonna make it impossible...that or she will get inside the fridge before me
- another cat steals hair ties, another has a fetish for socks - she steals them and throws them up in the air
- another one that decides she should sleep into my panty drawer, right when I'm in the middle of a show online - ofc everybody burst out laughing and no one thinks about the show after lol
- oh and I mention it before, but I have a cat that chews on anything, that includes my dildos and my paddle

...I posted this one before in the model section, but I think this thread deserves pictures