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Top ten myths about introverts

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I recently stumbled across the following and it's me in a nutshell, 10 for 10.

As for how it's relative to this web site, I think a fairly high number of cam viewers will also fall into the introvert category. Perhaps knowing a bit more about how our brains work will help models (who are almost always extroverts) understand why introverts do or don't do certain things.


Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk.
This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.

Myth #2 – Introverts are shy.
Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite.

Myth #3 – Introverts are rude.
Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting.

Myth #4 – Introverts don’t like people.
On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in.

Myth #5 – Introverts don’t like to go out in public.
Nonsense. Introverts just don’t like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts.

Myth #6 – Introverts always want to be alone.
Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.

Myth #7 – Introverts are weird.
Introverts are often individualists. They don’t follow the crowd. They’d prefer to be valued for their novel ways of living. They think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm. They don’t make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy.

Myth #8 – Introverts are aloof nerds.
Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. It’s not that they are incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them, it’s just that their inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them.

Myth #9 – Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun.
Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies. If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down. Their brains are too sensitive to the neurotransmitter called Dopamine. Introverts and Extroverts have different dominant neuro-pathways. Just look it up.

Myth #10 – Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts.
Introverts cannot “fix themselves” and deserve respect for their natural temperament and contributions to the human race. In fact, one study (Silverman, 1986) showed that the percentage of Introverts increases with IQ.
 
I agree with pretty much all of this and, like you, latex, find it describing myself in almost every fashion. I have to question your point about models, though. It does seem easy to think them extroverts as they engage and talk to their audience every day (or so). But you have to remember, they're talking to a camera and often only responding to text. Certainly, it's an exercise that is extroverted, they're taking the steps to put themselves out there, but I'd consider the same with publishing writing or art. It's just a different form of communication.

Welcome to the form, by the way. I've not seen you around before.
 
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Hehe, that is cute! Aside from some minor nit-picking regarding a few points, I love it. Especially the part about small talk and pleasantries. I have always had a difficult time with that, especially when it is insisted upon that my much used foul and ridiculous mode of communication is 'unacceptable'. Fuck you and your ugly twatwaffle, I say! *monocle*
 
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Thanks, relatively new 'round here but been in the biz for some time. My post in the Introduction thread goes into more detail.

I see a big difference between being a cam model and being an author or artist. Putting your work on display is one thing, but putting yourself on display, live and nude or semi-nude, is quite another. I don't think that being an exhibitionist and introvert are mutually exclusive, but thriving on the attention is much more consistent with being an extrovert.
 
Lord_Latex said:
Thanks, relatively new 'round here but been in the biz for some time. My post in the Introduction thread goes into more detail.

I see a big difference between being a cam model and being an author or artist. Putting your work on display is one thing, but putting yourself on display, live and nude or semi-nude, is quite another. I don't think that being an exhibitionist and introvert are mutually exclusive, but thriving on the attention is much more consistent with being an extrovert.

The portion of your statement I emboldened is a damn good point. Many artists and authors, however do feel that revealing their work is putting themselves on display. For some of us it reveals something that leaves us much more naked than a simple removal of clothing.

I agree with your points, but so long as models are performing in front of a camera and not a live physical audience- as long as that degree of separation persists- I can't agree that they are fundamentally extroverted.



As an aside, thanks to Rosemary, I may never look at twats or waffles the same way again.
 
Awesome, Awesome post. Love it. This is me to the core.

And the funny thing is, I was always told that I was stuck up, snobby, didn't talk to people, say much to people I didn't know.....and it really wasn't for those reasons.... it was really more about that I didn't know what to talk to you about if I don't really know you. I do have only a few close friends, afterall great friends are hard to find.

So much of this applied to me but these 2 things stood out the most so I had to comment. :clap:
 
Wow! Great post. Describes me to a T! Especially #10, for years I tried to become more "extroverted". Of course it didn't happen...I am who I am and have come to accept that.

Trying to be who (or whom...i suck at grammer) one is not, is futile.
 
OliverDougls said:
Trying to be who (or whom...i suck at grammer) one is not, is futile.
Who is fine in this case. "Grammer" is not. :p

That reminds me. The nice thing about the internet is that it allows us to break out of our shells occasionally. Put me in a big party, and I often lose interest and clam up and start wondering when would be a good time to say my good-nights. Put me in a chat room with my favourite model as the centre of attention, and I can be much more outgoing and willing to draw attention to myself. It's not even a matter of being anonymous, and I'm not talking about being a fuckwad. I behave the same whether I am on MFC where hardly anyone gives a crap about who I am, or with the gaming guild I've been in for 8 years, although the guild would frown on titty emotes.
 
Great post, it listed the exact reasons I'm not a stripper. :) I'm only ok with camming because it's "just a webcam and laptop" and not xxxxx people staring at me. Camming helps me feel like I have a decent social life though :)
 
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I'm an introvert and a cam model. I am highly social (have developed extrovert skills) but find that after periods of time in the company of other people I shut down completely and need to withdraw to recharge. This seems to be the one key defining factor of all introverts. True extroverts have no need to do this - I have an extrovert friend who literally seems to charge herself up from spending time with other people and never has any need to be alone. I find her exhausting in anything other than tiny doses :lol:

I'd say your post was largely spot on apart from your assumption that cam models are all extrovert. A sweeping generalisation and shows no understanding of what goes on when the cam is turned off...
 
For the most part I am an introvert and a lot of what that had to say was me to a T, but yet I do try and force myself out of my comfort zone where I may not be the most comfortable and realize it's not as bad as my mind thought it was.
 
Sevrin said:
Put me in a big party, and I often lose interest and clam up and start wondering when would be a good time to say my good-nights.

It's the same for me, too....depending on the party. I actually do like going to the club when it is PACKED, but only because I desire to dance alone and on stage. The moment someone tries to dance/talk with me, I start to retreat in my shell. Just wanna dance to crazy music in a sea, or above the sea, of crazy people. Makes me wanna do it right now.

Now parties where you go and be social and stuff is a whole other story and I am SOOOOO on that page with you! What pisses me off is when people get shitty about me leaving. It's like, "I don't want to be here, why are you forcing me to be miserable?" It's not *them* I have a problem with, it's the fact that this isn't really my scene. It's like inviting me to go stab puppies. I don't enjoy stabbing puppies, so please don't force me to stab puppies :(
 
It's not so much a party per say as it is who is at this party, if there's people there that I actually get along with and feel like im apart of something more than just fulfilling an obligation I don't think about leaving and will be the last to leave.
 
Rosemary said:
I actually do like going to the club when it is PACKED, but only because I desire to dance alone and on stage. The moment someone tries to dance/talk with me, I start to retreat in my shell. Just wanna dance to crazy music in a sea, or above the sea, of crazy people. Makes me wanna do it right now.

I'm a little past clubbing, but in my 20s I did exactly the same thing. I used to dress for show, go out to clubs, dance, have a beer, dance some more and after having had my fill, I'd leave whenever I wanted. I'd go when it wasn't so busy also, since that gets you in quickly when it's full, and it's a good way to impress friends should ever bring them along. :whistle: As a bonus, you can make eye contact and flirt with other introverts dancing alone and have an amazing time. I still remember this one girl...

Anyway, I was thinking that it's all about being in your "element". Introverts can quickly open up in a context where we feel comfortable, no matter how many people are around. I suck at parties, but I'm pretty comfortable speaking up in large meetings, or, back in the day, in a classroom setting where I was interested in the subject. I'd even talk more than anyone else if I was auditing a class. Likewise, extroverts are often too concerned about appearing nerdy and are hesitant to make fools of themselves in that kind of setting, and then they're the ones clamming up.
 
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Kittycatpurr said:
I'd say your post was largely spot on apart from your assumption that cam models are all extrovert. A sweeping generalisation and shows no understanding of what goes on when the cam is turned off...
Actually, I didn't say that all models were extroverts, just most. In fact I specifically acknowledged that the two weren't mutually exclusive.

As for not understanding what goes on when the cam is turned off, wrong again. I've been involved closely as a friend or colleague with more than a few. Read my post in the intro thread and I think you may get a different impression of what I do or don't understand.
 
I relate to almost everything on that list too.

Although it seems to me that it's more a list of Aspergers Syndrome traits than introverts; not all introverts have Aspergers, but must Aspies are introverts.

I urge anyone who's finding this list all too easy to agree with to look into Aspergers Syndrome. It's not too well known, frequently misunderstood but frankly I love being an Aspie.

A good place to start is http://www.tonyattwood.com.au -he's written a few books about it. This is from his general description page;
A qualitative impairment in social interaction:
* Failure to develop friendships that are appropriate to the child’s developmental level.
* Impaired use of non-verbal behaviour such as eye gaze, facial expression and body language to regulate a social interaction.
* Lack of social and emotional reciprocity and empathy.
* Impaired ability to identify social cues and conventions.

A qualitative impairment in subtle communication skills:
* Fluent speech but difficulties with conversation skills and a tendency to be pedantic, have an unusual prosody and to make a literal interpretation.

Restrictive Interests:
* The development of special interests that is unusual in their intensity and focus.
* Preference for routine and consistency.

Just learning about it a few years ago was a huge turning point for me - I finally started to feel human. I started to understand why I seemed so different from the "normal" people around me and I learnt what to focus on to reduce my anxieties and raise my self-esteem.

It's believed to be an issue for at least 1 in 250 people, although MFC has a lot more since the net is a better safety zone with less of the social anxieties that plague us and more focus on explicit communication just using words.

MFC is rife with Aspies - both diagnosed and undiagnosed.

And, if you do find yourself relating to what you read, try to remember that there's nothing about it that cannot be overcome with the right knowledge, training, support and experience. It's often a reason for certain behaviours but it should never be used as an excuse.

(Btw, it manifests differently for women, so for any women investigating; do take some of the assertions with a grain of salt or seek out info specifically for female Aspies).

Knowledge is power, and self-knowledge about Aspergers is the most self-empowering thing you can do to help yourself in just about every area of your life.

(Cheers to LL for starting this thread, I'd use your whole name but I love the idea that you're Lex Luthor in disguise :lol: )
 
I disqualify myself because I can't get two seconds in without thinking assburgers and laughing until i throw up.
 
A qualitative impairment in social interaction:
* Failure to develop friendships that are appropriate to the child’s developmental level.
* Impaired use of non-verbal behaviour such as eye gaze, facial expression and body language to regulate a social interaction.
* Lack of social and emotional reciprocity and empathy.
* Impaired ability to identify social cues and conventions.
Nope. If anything, I'm super-sensitive to emotional cues. If someone I know is hurting, I feel just as bad, and if they're happy :dance:

A qualitative impairment in subtle communication skills:
* Fluent speech but difficulties with conversation skills and a tendency to be pedantic, have an unusual prosody and to make a literal interpretation.
I'm only pedantic to be annoying. And thanks for the reminder. I need to have a prosody exam. I just hope he uses lube this time, literally.

Restrictive Interests:
* The development of special interests that is unusual in their intensity and focus.
* Preference for routine and consistency.
Well, there is that intense focus on certain cam models I visit over and over and over and over again.
 
Sevrin said:
A qualitative impairment in social interaction:
* Failure to develop friendships that are appropriate to the child’s developmental level.
* Impaired use of non-verbal behaviour such as eye gaze, facial expression and body language to regulate a social interaction.
* Lack of social and emotional reciprocity and empathy.
* Impaired ability to identify social cues and conventions.
Nope. If anything, I'm super-sensitive to emotional cues. If someone I know is hurting, I feel just as bad, and if they're happy :dance:
Same here, but I remember a time when I wasn't. I had to learn to pick up on social cues and this developed at a later stage in life and developed with a much higher degree of accuracy than most people around me. In the last few years in particular, I've bumped into acquaintances or friends and realised something was wrong, asked them about it and surprised them by noticing as they hadn't had anyone else pick up on it (even people much closer to them).

And I think I overdeveloped my empathy skills a bit much too - I used to be severely lacking but these days I seem to be more empathetic than a lot of people I know.

I should have mentioned those notes were predominantly about children and adolescents still more entrenched in developmental stages - the great thing about Aspergers is that any of the weaknesses can be overcome with learning, effort and experience while the positive sides can also remain and even increase over time.

Not arguing with you about whether or not you're Aspie, as I said originally, not all introverts are Aspies but most Aspies are introverts. :)
ps - I found agreat starting page for women who suspect they have Aspergers after that earlier post.
 
My mansicle is an Aspie! ...and an introvert. Waaaaay more introverted than I am. I have a special spot in my heart for the Assburgers out there :h:

Dazza said:
And I think I overdeveloped my empathy skills a bit much too - I used to be severely lacking but these days I seem to be more empathetic than a lot of people I know.

I feel you on this one. Also I wanted to take this moment of quotation to say I enjoy your posts in general :)
But yeah...I can get so overwhelmed that I shut off. Had to explain this to a friend before who didn't understand why I wasn't sobbing with her over a really damn sad situation. I definitely feel it heavily. Maybe this is my little survival mechanism? Zombie Rosie during an emotional apocalypse?
 
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I almost feel I had to say - I don't identify as introvert. I "thanked" as I thought it was an interesting, and different, topic :D
Most people could look at that list and see some behaviour that they'll agree with and think "yeah, I do/agree with that".
But I wouldn't classify myself as introverted :D

I mean, most people posting on the forum are engaged in "small talk" (essentially) after all ;)
 
Zoomer said:
I mean, most people posting on the forum are engaged in "small talk" (essentially) after all ;)

I would say it is a little different online. Social pressures are lessened in my experience*. I think altering the mode of communication can play a big role with being social. Also, small talk is easier with people you have something in common with and finding that common ground is so much easier online for me. I know that at the end of every conversation I engage in we all enjoy webcamming in one way or another.

Also, and this is just a general statement and not directed at you Zoomer, it is important to note that this whole thing varies by experience. I wouldn't take this list by heart. I mentioned in my first post that I had some minor nit-picking, and I think that is playing out a little in this particular paragraph, lol! But I also assume everyone already knows this and I'm just taking up space on the thread here, but it feels good to let it out so bite me ;P.

I feel that there is more grey space than the list allows, but it has such short and vague descriptions of an introvert that it's kind of a 'duh' thing. Still, it's good to know that others are seeing the same thing and going, "Hang on now, don't call yourself and introvert just off of this puny list!"

*Lessened does not mean non-existent! Social pressures that exist online can be different than those that exist elsewhere, it just depends on your comfort levels. Some introverts, like me, find it easier online. Some don't!

Now to take up MOAR SPAIS D8<
I have fun with personality tests/questionaires/etc. And if you're like me I would highly recommend trying out the Jung Typology Test. It's not super reliable, it can be taken over with different results, and every question is subject to individual interpretation (like language...), but it's fun. For me the test was actually spot on despite the sweeping generalizations. I did take something from this test, but again, don't take it to heart. The Wiki entry is pretty good about it!
INFJ is me.
 
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The only thin on the aspe list I find is being well kinda social inept.But I doubt I have the disease. I think some people think that I want to be their friend just to kiss their ass or that I'm weird or something. maybe me being very outgoing scares them I dunno lol.But I usually don't talk to people unless they talked to me so I was bit of a loner in parts of my childhood.Idk lol I put my :twocents-02cents: in it.
 
Rosemary said:
*Lessened does not mean non-existent! Social pressures that exist online can be different than those that exist elsewhere, it just depends on your comfort levels. Some introverts, like me, find it easier online. Some don't!
This kind of fits me, I'm better with dealing with people online it seems, but I still have an issue with multiple people talking/typing at the same time, so I'm much more comfortable with message boards like this, or something like twitter, than chat rooms. Which is why I'm so quiet on MFC, when I'm not just guesting or perving from the lounge.
 
Lord_Latex said:
I recently stumbled across the following and it's me in a nutshell, 10 for 10.

As for how it's relative to this web site, I think a fairly high number of cam viewers will also fall into the introvert category. Perhaps knowing a bit more about how our brains work will help models (who are almost always extroverts) understand why introverts do or don't do certain things.

Its me in a nutshell too! Something I was curious about is where you got your "almost all models are extroverts" statistic? Im fairly certain the opposite is true although it surprised me. There is a thread in the models only section that had a link to a personality quiz, and most of us are introverts. In my opinion, being on cam doesnt really require the personality traits of an extrovert since you never see the 1000s of people watching you (unless you cam2cam I guess lol) It almost doesnt feel real sometimes since its just words on a screen and I think thats how Im able to do it. There is NO way Id be able to do this shit in front of a crowd of 300 people in real life. That actually sounds torturous :lol:
 
Sia Green said:
Its me in a nutshell too! Something I was curious about is where you got your "almost all models are extroverts" statistic?
I have no specific source it's a personal observation based on all the adult models I've had interaction with while working in the adult biz for the last 14 years. Introverts generally avoid being the center of attention and performing in front of the camera, whether it's live or recorded, is contrary to that trait. I've found that most models thrive on the attention, which is a trait far more consistent with being an extrovert.
 
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