Ugh - rapport with favorite model completely falls apart

[Raya Lucaria Dropout]

This isn't really an asking for advice post (and is absolutely not an "in love with a camgirl" post), more of a getting something off my chest post. I've just been rather weirded out by something and can't talk to friends since I haven't brought up my being a fan of camsites with them.

So, my #1 favorite model, who I first started visiting in December 2022, and who I began to really chat with just about a year ago, and followed her from CB to SC when she began focusing herself there. Not only have we talked a lot about lives, hobbies, etc., we've also talked offline and I've modded for her at times. I'm a fan club member and of course a regular tipper - not a huge amount due to my current situation, but she's always reassured me when I wondered if I wasn't tipping enough. So, everything seems fine - until (dramatic music...)

A little while back, I was in her room and everything seemed normal save for some dropped tips and chat early on. We'd just finished chatting about a kitten when suddenly she seemed to look rather angry, and then began verbally make fun of something she read in public chat - something that sounded a lot like the standard cheering I had been doing (things like "let's support this beautiful woman" and such). It was so unexpected I thought it must be directed at someone else in private or on another site who had written something roughly similar. Also at this point she simply stopped responding to my PMs, and I really began to wonder if I had done something to make her mad, though I couldn't think of what it could be. Shortly after another long-term fan (and current mod) appeared and then messaged me saying that she hadn't responded to PMs or texts. I told them it was likely the connection issues from earlier, and felt relieved - if this was happening to someone else as well, it must really be the connection, and I was worried over nothing. I left her room soon after.

Well....

I came by the next day, and after she welcomed me I said "I'm glad I'm welcome - I had somehow thought you were angry yesterday! " Her response:
"Yes I was angry yesterday"
Me: "At me or just in general? I hope things are better now"
Her: "If you want to play do it right please. I hated everything you did yesterday.
Thanks for your support"

I should have said my goodbyes right there, but I was so shocked by how bitter she sounded, and how unexpected this was, that I asked what I had done and how I could make things better. I then stopped watching her room, but left chat open in case she replied. About a half hour later:
"Nothing. Forget it"
Me: "If you're still mad I can leave"
Her: "Go away. I don't care. Hehehe"

The "hehehe" looked like a weird joke, but it was clear I needed to go. I told her exactly that and that I hoped to visit her sometime in the future.

I then stayed away for over a week. Since I couldn't think of anything I had done wrong, I thought that maybe some outside thing had her angry, and decided to tentatively reach out. When she was offline I sent a PM hoping everything was good was her, wishing a happy Easter (either Gregorian or Julian!) if she celebrated, and wishing that I could visit soon. I also left an offline tip. When I next logged back in I found that in the meantime she had replied:
"I don't care. Bye"

Ummmm.

As I said way at the beginning, I'm not looking for advice since the obvious thing to do is to simply move on. Plus, for all anyone reading knows I could be holding back information - it is after all a typical Guy Thing to say "She got angry at me for no reason!" when there was most definitely a reason, and I've looked hard to see if I've been honest with myself. Still, I'm just kind of creeped out by this - she went from semi pen-pal to someone who apparently hates me in an instant, and it's all just so very weird.

Anyway, I feel a bit better just getting that off my chest, and I apologize for the length. Time to listen to Bill Evans and get back to practicing guitar.
RT

 

[anabeauty37]

Raya, you have to understand that is job is affecting us mental, . sometimes we dont know how to handle it and we are angry on everyone even if they r the nice guys .. For me pms are too much guess nothing pissing me off more then someone that dont let me focus on my work and keep sending me pms .. I answer pms only in private where im relaxed and i can ofer him full attention, if not ill be angry exaclty like her ) . So if u care about her just go in her room if u not blocked , support her, tip , be nice, put tip notes and thats it . if u looking for ass kissing , pm conexion and so on maybe she cant handle it just as me . I have someone closed and big tipper but he knows . full attention in private, pms, chatting, playing, whatever just dont keep me on pm while im on 2 sites in free chat ! Some girls answering becouse not manny guys suporting lately but doenst mean is her dream to sit there ignore her room and pm you . and talk about a kitten lol ...

 

[Maxi]

It’s work. You have no idea what’s going on.

Stop making it about you.

 

[Vixxen81]

Resentment slowly builds up until one day we explode. Sometimes the cheerleading gets to be a bit much when we are drowning in debt and small tips that can't even touch the problem at hand. It feels, well to be blunt, masturbatory on the part of the viewer. You think you're helping but for some people it reminds them just how many people don't feel that way about them.

Keep in mind, we may be sex workers and happy to provide our services but we are very much still women and have all of the emotions and moodiness that comes with it.

 

[AudriTwo]

its annoying when members tell others to tip more when tipping minimum amounts. i prefer members not to cheerlead for me. i usually ask them not to tell members how to spend their money because sometimes it chases people away. once or twice, that's fine. but if its like 6th time you are saying "WHATS WRONG WITH YOU GUYS OMG SHES SO HOT LETS TIP HER" and you have given me a total of $8 I'm gonna get annoyed. i also see my viewer count go down when members do this.

i totally respect members' limit of spending but stop pressuring my audience to tip. you look like you are trying to get others to carry the show for your broke ass. many members don't like to contribute to shows if the vocal audience is coming across as such.

it makes so much sense why she was annoyed with you. i get it, your intentions were in a good place, but sometimes lead to bad results.

 

[misterical]

My pet hate are the greys who constantly post those "Tips show the model love" banners in public chat. They don't even seem to think it's ludicrous.

 

[Wuggie]

its annoying when members tell others to tip more when tipping minimum amounts. i prefer members not to cheerlead for me. i usually ask them not to tell members how to spend their money because sometimes it chases people away. once or twice, that's fine. but if its like 6th time you are saying "WHATS WRONG WITH YOU GUYS OMG SHES SO HOT LETS TIP HER" and you have given me a total of $8 I'm gonna get annoyed. i also see my viewer count go down when members do this.

i totally respect members' limit of spending but stop pressuring my audience to tip. you look like you are trying to get others to carry the show for your broke ass. many members don't like to contribute to shows if the vocal audience is coming across as such.

it makes so much sense why she was annoyed with you. i get it, your intentions were in a good place, but sometimes lead to bad results.

Said it a couple of times before and I will keep saying it, the most effective way of making others tip, is by start tipping yourself!! it can be so effective honestly, so if people really want others to tip! they should just tip themselves

 

[Vixxen81]

Said it a couple of times before and I will keep saying it, the most effective way of making others tip, is by start tipping yourself!! it can be so effective honestly, so if people really want others to tip! they should just tip themselves

Here's one better: mind your own token balance and forget anyone else but you and the model exists.

No one is carrying a show. They are tipping to support their favorite models. That should be the view everyone has, in my opinion. No one knows what anyone has done for a model except the model.

 

[Raya Lucaria Dropout]

Resentment slowly builds up until one day we explode. Sometimes the cheerleading gets to be a bit much when we are drowning in debt and small tips that can't even touch the problem at hand. It feels, well to be blunt, masturbatory on the part of the viewer. You think you're helping but for some people it reminds them just how many people don't feel that way about them.

In a few sentences you've given me a lot to think about. Thank you

 

[HeadyRaven]

Resentment slowly builds up until one day we explode. Sometimes the cheerleading gets to be a bit much when we are drowning in debt and small tips that can't even touch the problem at hand. It feels, well to be blunt, masturbatory on the part of the viewer. You think you're helping but for some people it reminds them just how many people don't feel that way about them.

Keep in mind, we may be sex workers and happy to provide our services but we are very much still women and have all of the emotions and moodiness that comes with it.

Do models like or want cheerleading? I ask because this seems like something some members feel moved to do; maybe it's to genuinely be supportive. But sometimes comes off like ingratiating or trying to impress the model.

I don't view visiting a cam model as a group activity, maybe that's just me. I go and my focus is on the model. Tipping and interacting is between me and her. I don't care who else is in the room or what they are doing. The only time I notice is if someone starts to say crazy or abusive things.

Like if you are at a strip joint in the real world, best thing you can do it tip, get table dances, or whatever. But you don't turn around to face the audience of guys and start yelling, "Come on, you guys - get up here and tip!" That would be some serious simp behavior...

 

[NotYou]

Do models like or want cheerleading?

This is VERY subjective to the model.
Some models want and make you push for it and want you to be spamming it and trying to encourage it, even if you say it's not a great idea at all, they don't care, it's what they want/like so then you do it - but then it makes you (the user/mod/knight) look like the a-hole. But then plenty of models are the complete opposite and hate it. Then there are those obviously that are in the middle "do it sometimes, when it's really quiet, but not too much and don't target individual people".

I hate those ones on CB where they literally post the stupid GIFs for the "purple users": Hey purple guys, you know how to tip, you did it before, start tipping again.

What peeves me about that is, yes they are purple and tip, but it doesn't mean they have tokens right now, so..

Stuff like this should always be discussed with a model first, what does she like or hate for you to do, what are expectations for you as mod. Do you want to do all of the stuff she expects?

 

[Highlander884]

I often post gifs to show I'm enjoying the show so far a lady hasn't complained about that.

Only post tips gifs if I'm a mod and the girl wants me to. At most only 1 every 10 mins and not if someone has just tipped.
But yeah seen mods post like every other minute and demand guys to tip even when it's happening. Did leave one models room because of it.

Only other times I've told others to tip is when freeloaders make demands like "show tits" etc etc. Always blues and greys. And can count on 1 hand how many actually tipped after demanding.

 

[BlueEyezIrish]

This isn't really an asking for advice post (and is absolutely not an "in love with a camgirl" post), more of a getting something off my chest post. I've just been rather weirded out by something and can't talk to friends since I haven't brought up my being a fan of camsites with them.

So, my #1 favorite model, who I first started visiting in December 2022, and who I began to really chat with just about a year ago, and followed her from CB to SC when she began focusing herself there. Not only have we talked a lot about lives, hobbies, etc., we've also talked offline and I've modded for her at times. I'm a fan club member and of course a regular tipper - not a huge amount due to my current situation, but she's always reassured me when I wondered if I wasn't tipping enough. So, everything seems fine - until (dramatic music...)

A little while back, I was in her room and everything seemed normal save for some dropped tips and chat early on. We'd just finished chatting about a kitten when suddenly she seemed to look rather angry, and then began verbally make fun of something she read in public chat - something that sounded a lot like the standard cheering I had been doing (things like "let's support this beautiful woman" and such). It was so unexpected I thought it must be directed at someone else in private or on another site who had written something roughly similar. Also at this point she simply stopped responding to my PMs, and I really began to wonder if I had done something to make her mad, though I couldn't think of what it could be. Shortly after another long-term fan (and current mod) appeared and then messaged me saying that she hadn't responded to PMs or texts. I told them it was likely the connection issues from earlier, and felt relieved - if this was happening to someone else as well, it must really be the connection, and I was worried over nothing. I left her room soon after.

Well....

I came by the next day, and after she welcomed me I said "I'm glad I'm welcome - I had somehow thought you were angry yesterday! " Her response:
"Yes I was angry yesterday"
Me: "At me or just in general? I hope things are better now"
Her: "If you want to play do it right please. I hated everything you did yesterday.
Thanks for your support"

I should have said my goodbyes right there, but I was so shocked by how bitter she sounded, and how unexpected this was, that I asked what I had done and how I could make things better. I then stopped watching her room, but left chat open in case she replied. About a half hour later:
"Nothing. Forget it"
Me: "If you're still mad I can leave"
Her: "Go away. I don't care. Hehehe"

The "hehehe" looked like a weird joke, but it was clear I needed to go. I told her exactly that and that I hoped to visit her sometime in the future.

I then stayed away for over a week. Since I couldn't think of anything I had done wrong, I thought that maybe some outside thing had her angry, and decided to tentatively reach out. When she was offline I sent a PM hoping everything was good was her, wishing a happy Easter (either Gregorian or Julian!) if she celebrated, and wishing that I could visit soon. I also left an offline tip. When I next logged back in I found that in the meantime she had replied:
"I don't care. Bye"

Ummmm.

As I said way at the beginning, I'm not looking for advice since the obvious thing to do is to simply move on. Plus, for all anyone reading knows I could be holding back information - it is after all a typical Guy Thing to say "She got angry at me for no reason!" when there was most definitely a reason, and I've looked hard to see if I've been honest with myself. Still, I'm just kind of creeped out by this - she went from semi pen-pal to someone who apparently hates me in an instant, and it's all just so very weird.

Anyway, I feel a bit better just getting that off my chest, and I apologize for the length. Time to listen to Bill Evans and get back to practicing guitar.
RT

This is the reason I would Never have any chats with dudes. NONE!!! PMs are only for 3 seconds to talk about a private show and DONE! And NEVER outside of the cam site!!! NO way! That is way too close! This happens every single day to thousands of men and they always want an explanation. I’m pretty sure you did a creepy thing and she was grossed out by it and cut you off.

 

[Vixxen81]

Do models like or want cheerleading? I ask because this seems like something some members feel moved to do; maybe it's to genuinely be supportive. But sometimes comes off like ingratiating or trying to impress the model.

I don't view visiting a cam model as a group activity, maybe that's just me. I go and my focus is on the model. Tipping and interacting is between me and her. I don't care who else is in the room or what they are doing. The only time I notice is if someone starts to say crazy or abusive things.

Like if you are at a strip joint in the real world, best thing you can do it tip, get table dances, or whatever. But you don't turn around to face the audience of guys and start yelling, "Come on, you guys - get up here and tip!" That would be some serious simp behavior...

I personally despise cheerleading. I'm the master of the domain and if I want something from somebody the only person who should ask is me.

 

[BlueEyezIrish]

I personally despise cheerleading. I'm the master of the domain and if I want something from somebody the only person who should ask is me.

AMEN. I HATE It and would never in a million years allow one soul think they should cheer during my live. Simple clean quiet chat, Best ever.

 

[MarieElise]

Same as above I had no idea there are models who like that. I give one brisk warning, then block if it continues. I guess I take it as very rude, patronizing and disrespectful. I have no problems talking to others directly for myself. It’s my room after all.

The PM thing also drives me nuts. I max out at how many clingy guys i can handle. I’ll usually try to be nice a brief time, then Suddenly, even with best intentions, get way overwhelmed and creeped out by it , and start obsessing on escape. If all else fails, I straight up ghost from there It’s just OTT for me. A lot of my best paying Regs over the years have kept DMs brief and spread out, and it’s been cool. But I’ve had some anxious clingy types, and sensing their anxiety and need for constant contact, has put me off. I don’t want to take on the role of a semi girlfriend. I feel like if I do that, it’s sending mixed messages and not fair on the guy. And I certainly don’t want to sext for free. So other than a brief “hey man, how’s the allergies? Staying Happy I hope?” every month or so, I’m good. I’m the type of person that gets extremely reverse freaked out if someone freaks out when I leave a while. Or if I feel like I’m under the microscope in any way. If someone got upset I didn’t talk for a day, I’d start sweating bullets. For real.

Most of my Regs are married these days though, so I don’t have to worry about it. It’s briefly friendly and strictly sexual only. It’s awesome! I love it. I’ve luckily never experienced a married guy get obsessive with me in that way. I’m sure it happens too though.

 

[BlueEyezIrish]

Same as above I had no idea there are models who like that. I give one brisk warning, then block if it continues. I guess I take it as very rude, patronizing and disrespectful. I have no problems talking to others directly for myself. It’s my room after all.

The PM thing also drives me nuts. I max out at how many clingy guys i can handle. I’ll usually try to be nice a brief time, then Suddenly, even with best intentions, get way overwhelmed and creeped out by it , and start obsessing on escape. If all else fails, I straight up ghost from there It’s just OTT for me. A lot of my best paying Regs over the years have kept DMs brief and spread out, and it’s been cool. But I’ve had some anxious clingy types, and sensing their anxiety and need for constant contact, has put me off. I don’t want to take on the role of a semi girlfriend. I feel like if I do that, it’s sending mixed messages and not fair on the guy. And I certainly don’t want to sext for free. So other than a brief “hey man, how’s the allergies? Staying Happy I hope?” every month or so, I’m good. I’m the type of person that gets extremely reverse freaked out if someone freaks out when I leave a while. Or if I feel like I’m under the microscope in any way. If someone got upset I didn’t talk for a day, I’d start sweating bullets. For real.

Most of my Regs are married these days though, so I don’t have to worry about it. It’s briefly friendly and strictly sexual only. It’s awesome! I love it. I’ve luckily never experienced a married guy get obsessive with me in that way. I’m sure it happens too though.

It’s the.. “ I prefer to PM “ guys and the first question is. Will you Skype? Show me your asshole on Snap? “ I have no sound call me right now”. I no longer use pm’s unless it’s a huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge tipper. I have a really short attention span too so I completely have no regrets not responding at all to any messages with HRU. Will you be me mommy, ughhhhhhhh!

 

[BrookeRidess]

Raya, you have to understand that is job is affecting us mental, . sometimes we dont know how to handle it and we are angry on everyone even if they r the nice guys .. For me pms are too much guess nothing pissing me off more then someone that dont let me focus on my work and keep sending me pms .. I answer pms only in private where im relaxed and i can ofer him full attention, if not ill be angry exaclty like her ) . So if u care about her just go in her room if u not blocked , support her, tip , be nice, put tip notes and thats it . if u looking for ass kissing , pm conexion and so on maybe she cant handle it just as me . I have someone closed and big tipper but he knows . full attention in private, pms, chatting, playing, whatever just dont keep me on pm while im on 2 sites in free chat ! Some girls answering becouse not manny guys suporting lately but doenst mean is her dream to sit there ignore her room and pm you . and talk about a kitten lol ...

This isn't really an asking for advice post (and is absolutely not an "in love with a camgirl" post), more of a getting something off my chest post. I've just been rather weirded out by something and can't talk to friends since I haven't brought up my being a fan of camsites with them.

So, my #1 favorite model, who I first started visiting in December 2022, and who I began to really chat with just about a year ago, and followed her from CB to SC when she began focusing herself there. Not only have we talked a lot about lives, hobbies, etc., we've also talked offline and I've modded for her at times. I'm a fan club member and of course a regular tipper - not a huge amount due to my current situation, but she's always reassured me when I wondered if I wasn't tipping enough. So, everything seems fine - until (dramatic music...)

A little while back, I was in her room and everything seemed normal save for some dropped tips and chat early on. We'd just finished chatting about a kitten when suddenly she seemed to look rather angry, and then began verbally make fun of something she read in public chat - something that sounded a lot like the standard cheering I had been doing (things like "let's support this beautiful woman" and such). It was so unexpected I thought it must be directed at someone else in private or on another site who had written something roughly similar. Also at this point she simply stopped responding to my PMs, and I really began to wonder if I had done something to make her mad, though I couldn't think of what it could be. Shortly after another long-term fan (and current mod) appeared and then messaged me saying that she hadn't responded to PMs or texts. I told them it was likely the connection issues from earlier, and felt relieved - if this was happening to someone else as well, it must really be the connection, and I was worried over nothing. I left her room soon after.

Well....

I came by the next day, and after she welcomed me I said "I'm glad I'm welcome - I had somehow thought you were angry yesterday! " Her response:
"Yes I was angry yesterday"
Me: "At me or just in general? I hope things are better now"
Her: "If you want to play do it right please. I hated everything you did yesterday.
Thanks for your support"

I should have said my goodbyes right there, but I was so shocked by how bitter she sounded, and how unexpected this was, that I asked what I had done and how I could make things better. I then stopped watching her room, but left chat open in case she replied. About a half hour later:
"Nothing. Forget it"
Me: "If you're still mad I can leave"
Her: "Go away. I don't care. Hehehe"

The "hehehe" looked like a weird joke, but it was clear I needed to go. I told her exactly that and that I hoped to visit her sometime in the future.

I then stayed away for over a week. Since I couldn't think of anything I had done wrong, I thought that maybe some outside thing had her angry, and decided to tentatively reach out. When she was offline I sent a PM hoping everything was good was her, wishing a happy Easter (either Gregorian or Julian!) if she celebrated, and wishing that I could visit soon. I also left an offline tip. When I next logged back in I found that in the meantime she had replied:
"I don't care. Bye"

Ummmm.

As I said way at the beginning, I'm not looking for advice since the obvious thing to do is to simply move on. Plus, for all anyone reading knows I could be holding back information - it is after all a typical Guy Thing to say "She got angry at me for no reason!" when there was most definitely a reason, and I've looked hard to see if I've been honest with myself. Still, I'm just kind of creeped out by this - she went from semi pen-pal to someone who apparently hates me in an instant, and it's all just so very weird.

Anyway, I feel a bit better just getting that off my chest, and I apologize for the length. Time to listen to Bill Evans and get back to practicing guitar.
RT

I think I probably would have banned you. Your going in her room taking up her time while she's working barely tipping but then telling others to support her,??

 

[misterical]

As a member, the two things I see most often are the cheerleaders (who almost always fail to heed their own demands to tip) and the serial complimenters. The model I visit absolutely hates the latter most of all because having to respond and thank people for mindless compliments is exhausting after a while. Also, the Venn Diagram of non-tippers, cheerleaders and serial complimenters is usually a circle.

 

[Miss_Lollipop]

So… obviously there’s a discussion about resentment and cheerleading being annoying etc etc all valid, but when I read the post the thing that stuck out to me was - your reaction was just to leave?

You’re sitting here racking your brain what did you do, why not just ask?

“Hey, I noticed you’ve been mad at me lately and based on what you said, I’ve been acting in a way you don’t like in your chat. I think this might be because of the cheerleading style comments I make but I’m not sure. I’d like to fix our relationship and continue to interact, my intention is never to make you upset, and I apologize. Could you tell me directly what behavior I need to stop doing, so that I am clear on this?”

If she tells you, great! You can fix it.
If she doesn’t, then she isn’t interested in fixing it, or she’s paying games.

 

[BlueEyezIrish]

As a member, the two things I see most often are the cheerleaders (who almost always fail to heed their own demands to tip) and the serial complimenters. The model I visit absolutely hates the latter most of all because having to respond and thank people for mindless compliments is exhausting after a while. Also, the Venn Diagram of non-tippers, cheerleaders and serial complimenters is usually a circle.

I have a serial complimenter on MFC had to let him know he needs to shut the fuck up. Now he replies to the men who compliment me
And says “ I Agree”. “ I know right” “ I Love her too “ blocked him yesterday “

 

[misterical]

I have a serial complimenter on MFC had to let him know he needs to shut the fuck up. Now he replies to the men who compliment me
And says “ I Agree”. “ I know right” “ I Love her too “ blocked him yesterday “

It's fucking impossible to bear as a member. God knows how it feels when you are the recipient of such mindless babble compliments all night

 

[Vixxen81]

There are many, many days where I think to myself giving men a chat platform for this was incredibly naive.

"Let's give people who are notoriously bad communicators a way to muck it up even more!" Should just be a point and click menu item situation.

I'm mostly being incredibly sarcastic but damn.

 

[HeadyRaven]

giving men a chat platform

I don't know a lot of models, but I know a few really well. One of them, almost her entire income is doing private chats for long periods with a set of customers who return regularly. She talks about her work being more about "support" and even mental health. Like one dude has been visiting for a few years and will talk for an hour or two at a time about problems he's having with his long-term, live in GF. Another guy is a retired professor in his late 70s, a lonely widower. One guy is in some situation where he's stationed in a remote area and he just comes to chat. She doesn't do any public shows at all, and barely even interacts in public chats other than trying to convince someone to chat in private.

Some of this, maybe it's like "girlfriend experience" but the way she talks about it, she gets a lot of customers who have problems. She was recently talking about one guy who was crying a lot during a long private. She likes and seems to want this kind of client, although she says it's draining and sometimes she is not sure how to handle their problems. But I guess for her, it's preferable to other ways of working.

Is this common? I know all models probably have some regulars where there is that kind of chat like friends, but it seems like almost her entire business is being a "friend, support, or confidant." (This is close to her own words). She's also a non-nude model, incidentally.

I once said to her, "Maybe you should just become a therapist?" She laughed and said it doesn't pay enough. And she added that she really doesn't want to be responsible for people's shit.

This seems like the opposite of the idea of a model just offering specific services, with a sexual focus, and minimal interaction. But all the long chatting seems really draining! (Plus, she is inundated with offsite messages on the platforms that have DMs). I guess everyone has their preferred style of work. This thread made me think of it; not sure why I brought it up.

 

[Vixxen81]

Is this common? I know all models probably have some regulars where there is that kind of chat like friends, but it seems like almost her entire business is being a "friend, support, or confidant." (This is close to her own words). She's also a non-nude model, incidentally.

I don't know if it is or isn't common, Chaturbate is largely that, chat more than bate. At least in my experiences over the years. I'd be fine if someone wanted to talk my face off in a private chat but to do it in public or PM without significant tipping is where it starts to get annoying/draining. I never stop trying to make money and I'll whatever it takes that I'm comfortable with. But familiarity can breed contempt. Like say a guy is always talking about going on vacations that are lavish and expensive but he tips me $5 for his bragging session? I'm mentally castrating his balls with every word he says.

If it's someone I've known for years, then I'll give a little more grace. Some rando that just shows up out of the blue trying to monopolize my attention with zero money? Nope. This largely has to do with the fact that even when I'm not online I think about people in bad situations and have often manifested their reappearance in my room after a long absence. It's kind of cool BUT....

Here's where I was actually going with that comment I made this morning: men can't carry on a conversation that isn't about themselves directly. If I say something about me, they drop off or move onto making sexual comments which I often have zero come back for because I usually have no idea what they want or like because they won't tell me without beating around the bush (though some are so direct it's kind of scary).

Or, if they see that I'm a fan of a sports team and they try to talk shit about my team and I come back with full knowledge of their teams' woes they bail like their ass is on fire. Because how dare a woman know more about this than I do. Or guys who try to reword fetishes and I know exactly what forbidden thing they are asking for is...

While you guys may deal with a handful of personalities, most us deal with anywhere between 0 to 5000 personalities. There's a lot for us to keep track of and while one may think small talk is harmless, it isn't. A lot of us are neurodivergent and small talk is literally painful. If you can't hold a conversation past how is the weather, just stick to tipping the menu or in appreciation.

 

[HeadyRaven]

to do it in public or PM without significant tipping

I see. Oh, I certainly can see how this would be very annoying. That falls into the category of customers forgetting that you are at work, not hanging out for recreation.

familiarity can breed contempt

This also reminded me of aforementioned model's stories of problems that result from such a "chat intensive" business focused (in her case) on being a friend and a support, often to people who may be kind of messed up. She's shared a lot of stories, some minor annoyances; some scary. I remember one situation where one of these dudes got extremely clingy and he also changed his user name to include her name. So say her name is "Tiffany" -- well, he shows up with new username of "Tiffany_Loves_Joe." It just bugged her and she didn't like how it looked to others. That was a small thing. Another scenario was a dude who was coming and doing chats for her entire shift, like 4 -5 hours. Good money but after awhile, she was sick of hearing him going on and on - said she could barely tolerate it. Then later, he had a crisis because he had been charging everything to a credit card and he actually did not have the disposable income to handle it (he had been doing this for about 7 months). Yet another client became very controlling.

A lot of stories like this from her come to mind; I am probably not thinking of some good ones. But maybe this is the normal risks of the job.

men can't carry on a conversation that isn't about themselves directly

This is interesting because if you are doing a GFE, does it mean these are all kinds of shitty boyfriends? Because if they are only talking about themselves.... lol

I don't know, but the model I've been talking about here said to me that she has come to view almost all of the men on the sites as "mentally ill" in one form or another. But maybe that's really biased because of how she works and who she draws to her.

 

[Vixxen81]

This is interesting because if you are doing a GFE, does it mean these are all kinds of shitty boyfriends? Because if they are only talking about themselves.... lol

I would consider myself GFE-Lite and yes, they are all absolutely shitty boyfriends. Except for one (for me, and I doubt he's on the GFE-Lite spectrum and we're just really good friends).

 

[BrookeRidess]

I have a serial complimenter on MFC had to let him know he needs to shut the fuck up. Now he replies to the men who compliment me
And says “ I Agree”. “ I know right” “ I Love her too “ blocked him yesterday “

I can't pat bills witg endless compliments n no tips

 

[Highlander884]

I see. Oh, I certainly can see how this would be very annoying. That falls into the category of customers forgetting that you are at work, not hanging out for recreation.

This also reminded me of aforementioned model's stories of problems that result from such a "chat intensive" business focused (in her case) on being a friend and a support, often to people who may be kind of messed up. She's shared a lot of stories, some minor annoyances; some scary. I remember one situation where one of these dudes got extremely clingy and he also changed his user name to include her name. So say her name is "Tiffany" -- well, he shows up with new username of "Tiffany_Loves_Joe." It just bugged her and she didn't like how it looked to others. That was a small thing. Another scenario was a dude who was coming and doing chats for her entire shift, like 4 -5 hours. Good money but after awhile, she was sick of hearing him going on and on - said she could barely tolerate it. Then later, he had a crisis because he had been charging everything to a credit card and he actually did not have the disposable income to handle it (he had been doing this for about 7 months). Yet another client became very controlling.

A lot of stories like this from her come to mind; I am probably not thinking of some good ones. But maybe this is the normal risks of the job.

This is interesting because if you are doing a GFE, does it mean these are all kinds of shitty boyfriends? Because if they are only talking about themselves.... lol

I don't know, but the model I've been talking about here said to me that she has come to view almost all of the men on the sites as "mentally ill" in one form or another. But maybe that's really biased because of how she works and who she draws to her.

Depends on what she means by mentally ill. I would definitely say that almost everyone who socialise have ended up on cb have some form of :

depression/learning disabilities/social difficulties/health problems.

The thing is I would say the same about lady's on cb too, lost count of how many girls have chatted to me or even brought up in public chat about the above or asked users advice about it (and yes while it Is flattering that a girl asks us about romantic advice, it is always pointed out that we really aren't the best people to discuss it with ) I'm not saying the job causes this and I'm definitely not saying that girls choose webcaming to deal with this, but it's goes almost hand in hand it seems.

I will definitely be offended if the model you're talking about thinks all users r really "fucked in the head, crazy misogynistic cunts" though.

I do send tips and the odd pm but I only pm of its about something not wanting to bring up in chat, just to make sure lady is OK. Most of the models I truly follow r aware of current problems in my life but I've not used them as my shrink, just as like say telling a friend who's asking how u r doing.
Just got to that stage where they ask me properly how I am.

With chat. It depends, there was a girl who just treated cb like a group forum. Her attitude was take her clothes off if and when she felt like it so the room was more chatting then anything and she did do well on the main page from just having regulars tip for company and chat. I mean she wasn't earning 10s of 1000s but certainly enough not to be worried about of income.
At least 2 ladies I follow half their income comes from regulars that just like to chat.

Just realised I'm rambling.

 

[UnComKEF]

its annoying when members tell others to tip more when tipping minimum amounts. i prefer members not to cheerlead for me. i usually ask them not to tell members how to spend their money because sometimes it chases people away. once or twice, that's fine. but if its like 6th time you are saying "WHATS WRONG WITH YOU GUYS OMG SHES SO HOT LETS TIP HER" and you have given me a total of $8 I'm gonna get annoyed. i also see my viewer count go down when members do this.

i totally respect members' limit of spending but stop pressuring my audience to tip. you look like you are trying to get others to carry the show for your broke ass. many members don't like to contribute to shows if the vocal audience is coming across as such.

it makes so much sense why she was annoyed with you. i get it, your intentions were in a good place, but sometimes lead to bad results.

I 100% agree with you.

When I'm in a room and I see other viewers doing this, it turns me off and I end up leaving. If she is someone I frequent and I notice this person rarely tips but is always loud, it makes me not want to come back.