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Naked hotel guest who burst out of cupboard with hose pipe up his bottom walks free from jail

He said he was "truly ashamed" of himself after his antics at a Premier Inn, when he urinated on the carpet and hurled racist abuse at staff

A man who emerged naked from a storage cupboard at a Premier Inn with a fire extinguisher hose up his bottom walked free after he told a court: 'I'm truly ashamed of myself.'

Joseph Small, 20, threw his clothes off and grabbed the appliance from the fourth floor of the budget Leicester Square hotel.

He then rammed the hose between his buttocks and began touching himself, Westminster Magistrates' Court heard.

Small also urinated on the carpet and a lift door before having to be escorted down to reception by a member of staff who wrapped him in a towel.

He then hurled abuse at the Bangladeshi man, barking at him: "This country has been taken over by Al-Qaeda - go back to Pakistan."

While in the hotel lobby Small again urinated on the carpet in front of stunned tourists shouting proudly: "I come from Sheffield in England."

His lewd acts caused £450 of damage to the lift door, carpet and the extinguisher.

Small admitted criminal damage to property under £5,000, racially aggravated harassment, and outraging public decency.

Prosecutor Darren Watts said that as well as telling Hassan to "go back to Pakistan", Small also called a special constable "Turkish" and his colleague "Romanian", before referring to another officer as a "paedo"'.

Small had travelled down from his home in Sheffield with his uncle to do a deal on a used car.

He told the court that he was "truly ashamed" of the October 31 incident and that he has many friends from different backgrounds.

He said: "I really am truly ashamed of myself - I can't recall anything that happened and I'm sorry to anyone that I offended that night.

"I have friends from all different ethnic backgrounds. I'm truly ashamed of myself".

District Judge Elizabeth Roscoe sentenced Small to a nine-month supervision order and to an electronic curfew for five weeks between 10pm and 6am.

However, Small's curfew was pushed back two hours to 12am tomorrow morning as he told the court he would be travelling back to Sheffield by Megabus and would not make it home in time.

Picture of Small feeling ashamed at the source: http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news ... ll-2880010
 
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dXGnjm9.jpg
 
http://world.time.com/2013/12/09/china- ... toxic-air/

The five benefits of toxic air in China!
1. It unifies the Chinese people.
2. It makes China more equal.
3. It raises citizen awareness of the cost of China’s economic development.
4. It makes people funnier.
5. It makes people more knowledgeable (of things like meteorology and the English word haze).

How does it make people funnier?
 
NSA mass collection of phone data is legal, federal judge rules

http://www.theguardian.com/world/2013/d ... tion-legal

Judge Pauley said privacy protections enshrined in the fourth amendment of the US constitution needed to be balanced against a government need to maintain a database of records to prevent future terrorist attacks. “The right to be free from searches is fundamental but not absolute,” he said. “Whether the fourth amendment protects bulk telephony metadata is ultimately a question of reasonableness.”

Pauley argued that al-Qaida's “bold jujitsu” strategy to marry seventh century ideology with 21st century technology made it imperative that government authorities be allowed to push privacy boundaries.

we need know what your mom texted you on thursday morning, because you know... a guy with a beard used a phone once
 
http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/real-l ... 6781706111



Horrific Incest Cult Discovered In Australia

DEPRAVED SECRETS IN A COUNTRY TOWN

Not only were the Colt family closely related by generations of incest. In fear of discovery the appalling facts about their family, the Colts had fled three other Australian states before coming to rest in rural NSW.

And it was here that four generations of interbreeding exploded into a life of depravity.

Under the eye of the family matriarch, Betty Colt, who slept in the marital bed with her brother, the children copulated with each other and with adults.

Years of interrelations had resulted in some of the children misshapen and intellectually impaired. Many of them could not speak intelligibly.

They were profoundly neglected, to the point they didn't know how to shower or use toilet paper, and were covered in sores and racked with disease.

Left to their own devices, brothers with sisters, uncles with nieces, fathers with daughters, they engaged in sexual activities.

The children also mutilated the genitalia of animals.

When the girls became pregnant, they would often simply miscarry on the farm, not wanting to arouse suspicions among doctors or health professionals.

While the Colt women claim outsiders had fathered their children - itinerant men, a wheat worker, a Swedish backpacker - science told otherwise.

When they finally managed to get test swabs into a laboratory, geneticists uncovered a family tree which was a nightmare of "homozygosity", when a child's parents are closely related.

Eight of the Colt children have parents who were either brother and sister, mother and son or father and daughter.

A further six have parents who were either aunt and nephew, uncle and niece, half siblings or grandparents and grandchild.

Interviews with the Colts revealed the family saga began back in New Zealand, in the first half of last century when June Colt was born to parents who were brother and sister.

June married Tim and in the 1970s the couple emigrated to Australia.

The family would then move, several times, between South Australia, Western Australia, and Victoria, usually living in remote rural communities, shying away from public knowledge about the truth.

Tim and June gave birth to four daughters and two sons.

Three of the daughters - Rhonda, 47, Betty, 46, and Martha, 33, and at least one of the sons, Charlie, form the elder members of the family group in the NSW bush camp.

Betty had 13 children.

She contended their father was a man called Phil Walton, now dead, who was known to the family as Tim.

But genetics show one of her children, Bobby, 15, was fathered either by her father, whose name was Tim, or the brother she was sleeping with.

Four more of Betty's children were fathered by a close family member.

Betty's eldest child, Raylene, now aged 30, has a 13-year-old daughter, Kimberly.

Raylene insists Kimberly's father is a man called Sven, from Sweden or Switzerland.

Testing identifies Kimberly's father as either her half brother, an uncle or a grandfather.

Betty's second oldest child, Tammy, now aged 27, has given birth to three daughters, one of whom died from a rare genetic disorder, and all of whom, she eventually admitted, were fathered by her closest brother, Derek, 25.

Betty's younger sister, Martha Colt, 33, has five children, four of whom were fathered by her own father, Tim, or by her brother, and another who is the product of a union with a close relation.

It was the 10 youngest of Betty and Martha's children, and Raylene's daughter, Kimberly, 13, who ran wild in a sexual spree about the property.

Betty's children, Bobby, 15, Billy, 14, Brian, 12, Dwayne, 9, and Carmen, 8, all have parents who are close family members.

Martha's children, Albert, 15, Jed, 14, Ruth, 9, and Nadia, 7, are also the product of closely-related parents.

Interviewed by child protection workers and psychologists, they told of a virtual sexual free-for-all.

Ruth and Nadia said Albert, Jed and Karl showed them pornographic magazines, touched their breasts and Albert had sexual intercourse with them.

Kimberly said she had oral sex with Dwayne, while Carmen watched. Her mother Raylene had been aware of the incident.

Albert, Jed, Karl, Bobby and Billy admitted they tortured animals, including puppies and cats. Carmen said her father was her uncle Charlie.

Ruth said her father was Charlie. She also said her brothers, Jed and Karl, had sex with her.

Following the discovery of the Colt family in the hills, 12 children have been removed from their parents.

Their mothers have hired lawyers to argue in the courts for the children's return.

One of the mothers is due to face court on charges of procuring the removal of a child from care and recruiting a child for a crime, and further charges are expected.
 
Meth user fights off 15 police officers ‘while masturbating in bar'

An Oregon man high on meth fought off 15 police officers after allegedly refusing to stop publicly masturbating in a bar.

Andrew Frey, 37, exposed himself to a bartender at Iggy’s Bar & Grill on December 22 before he began pleasuring himself, according to police.

He then moved into the bathroom where he continued his inappropriate behaviour before police were called to the scene.

Deputy Peter Walker, who was first at the scene, used a Taser on the suspect multiple times but it had no effect, according to a police statement.

The two then got into a fight before police reinforcements arrived at the bar.

It took more than 15 police officers from three different forces to finally arrest Frey, who was taken to a local hospital for assessment.

He is being held on charges of public indecency, resisting arrest and theft of services.

He told officers has no recollection of the incident but admitted he had taken meth.

http://metro.co.uk/2013/12/31/andrew-fr ... r-4245713/
 
Radioactive Diapers In Austrian Dump Truck Trigger Alarms

VIENNA (AP) — Austrian hazmat specialists called in after Geiger counters showed alarmingly high readings for a dump truck arriving at an incinerator have found the problem — radioactive adult diapers.

After unloading the truck, firefighters from the hazardous materials unit of the city of Linz found nearly two dozen diapers from a hospital that had become contaminated with radioactive iodine. The substance is swallowed during some medical and diagnostic procedures.

While radiation levels were substantially above normal, unit leader Dieter Jonas says no one was in danger during Tuesday's incident.

Austrian officials, however, are tracing the truck's route. And the truck will stay in a metal container at the incinerator for eight days — the time it takes for the emissions to reach safe levels.

from http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/01/0 ... 55967.html
 
Three hour orgasm lands Seattle woman in emergency department



AN orgasm that lasts three hours doesn't sound like the worst thing that could happen to somebody, but it was serious enough to send a Seattle woman to the emergency department of a hospital.

She has recounted her initially fun but increasingly terrifying story - OK, we'll call it an "ordeal" - in a new cable TV show in America called Sex Sent Me to the ER.

The woman, identified as Liz on the show, said after an hour of orgasming she was trying to get herself to stop.

"I started hopping up and down to see if that would do anything, :lol: I started trying to drink wine to see if that would calm down my system," she told Radar Online. "I tried just about every possible thing I could do to stop having an orgasm."

After two hours, she admitted herself to hospital.

Her partner Eric - who, er, had a role to play in her condition - described his own feelings of discomfort during the hospital admission.

"As much of a relief as it was to have her in the hospital, now there were eyes on me and I was still feeling very tense and uptight and uncertain about what was going on and what was going to happen," he said.

Medical staff initially suspected Liz was going into labour, but the symptoms subsided in the third hour.

http://www.news.com.au/world/three-hour ... 6796382268
 
http://www.foxnews.com/world/2014/01/06 ... =obnetwork
Whale hurts 4 people on whale-watching boat off coast of Mexico
Mexican officials say a boat and a humpback whale collided off the coast of Baja California, injuring a U.S. tourist and three other people on board.

The 67-year-old tourist and the boat's captain suffered injuries to their ribs and arms in the collision in a site known as Cabo Falso, off the tip of the Baja California peninsula. Two other people on board suffered light injuries. All were rescued by the Mexican navy.

They told officials they were sport-fishing in the area, which is outside Mexico's designated area for whale-watching. Officials said they could not determine if the whale was hurt.

January is one of the peak months for whale watching off the Baja coast, where officials say there have been a large number of whale births this year.
Officials said they could not determine if the whale was hurt.
Dem whales be bad ass mudda-fuckas! :mrgreen:
 
Now we need a "SAD BUT TRUE" news thread.
http://www.foxnews.com/us/2014/01/14/ta ... t-believe/
The Tampa Bay man fatally shot Monday in front of his terrified wife inside a movie theater over an argument about text messaging told the gunman, "I can't believe I got shot," moments after suffering a fatal shot to the chest, a witness told The Tampa Bay Times.
What in the FLIPPING FUCK?
"Blood started coming out of his mouth," said witness Alex Cummings. "It was just a very bad scene."
No shit, Sherlock.

I can't wait for the trial. "It was a crime of passion. He refused to stop texting, then threw popcorn in my face. So I shot him."
 
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Injured Mountain Biker Endures Seven-Week Erection

LONDON (CBS Atlanta) – A cyclist needed medical intervention at an Irish hospital because an injury he suffered caused his penis to remain erect for nearly two months.

The unnamed bicyclist sustained an injury on the crossbar of his mountain bike that interfered with the blood flow to his penis.

A medical report quoted in the Irish Examiner said the biker’s pain and bruising settled within days, but that he sustained ongoing “high-flow” priapism “with rigid erection”.

After suffering in silence for five weeks, he finally sought medical attention.

A hospital report said the initial examination “revealed no signs of injury, but penis was erect”.

Doctors first tried “manual compression” which would work for a short time, but then the penis would become erect again.

Then they applied a pressure dressing that was in place for two weeks. But once the pressure was removed there was an immediate return of the erection.

Finally doctors inserted gel foam and four tiny platinum coils at an abnormal connection between an artery and a vein that supplied blood to the man’s penis.

This successfully reduced the blood supply to the penis, ending the erection.

One of the medical technicians said, “We were very happy with the outcome.”

The CDC notes that bicycle parts manufacturers are developing saddles that ease pressure on the genitals.

http://atlanta.cbslocal.com/2014/01/15/ ... -erection/
 
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Teasing Over Vaginal Flatulence On School Bus Leads To Groin Attack

JANUARY 22--A female high school student who was having sex in the back of a Pennsylvania school bus allegedly struck another pupil in the testicles after the younger onlooker “began to laugh and chuckle” when she “expelled wind” during the lewd performance, according to police.
That's right. Kids having sex in a school bus doesn't merit a mention unless there's queefing and ball-busting

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/ ... bus-687543
 
Gastronomic voyeurism is the latest craze in South Korea

EiGeni3.jpg


A report by Reuters suggests this gastronomic voyeurism is turning on thousands of viewers.

One particular star of the scene is Park Seo-yeon, known as "The Diva", who broadcasts herself eating in her apartment up to three hours every day.
Park lays out a buffet of dishes in front of her computer and during a session shows off her courses and shovels down the grub while talking to online guests.

Viewers can chat with her or send her gifts that translate into cash. Park earns more than US$9,000 a month from the gobbling gig and has even quit her regular day job as a result of her popularity.

Fp7yF7s.jpg

One dedicated follower watches Park in one of her daily food eating web broadcasts. Source: Reuters Source: Supplied

The appeal of this 'watch me eat' craze isn't down to curious culinarians. Park explains:
"People enjoy the vicarious pleasure with my online show when they can't eat that much, or don't want to eat food at night, or are on a diet."

What an interesting concept: if you're trying to lose a bit of weight, watch someone else eat. No wonder restaurants have windows.

According to the report, there are an estimated 3,500 people in South Korea participating in similar online eating programmes sponsored by restaurants.

For the viewers, other than the voyeuristic or dieting, this new eating sensation also manages to offer company to some who may be dining alone at home.

One viewer said: "It feels as if I am eating that much food with her. I think that's what the show is about. And probably, it's comforting for people who eat alone."
 
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MrRodry said:
MFC currently has all kinds of "performance art", body painting, mime, all of those "O4N" shows...so I could see this popping up. Buffet shows, and the like. Plenty of directions to take this will the variety of cuisines out there.

I would probably avoid "Mexican Food Night". Or the night after, even. :mrgreen:

$9000 a month? Why that's almost Gangnam Style! :dance:
 
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Legendary Silicon Valley VC Says Criticism Of The Super-Rich Is Like Nazis Going After The Jews
http://www.businessinsider.com/tom-perk ... ter-2014-1

He also writes that the public's turn against the rich represents a "dangerous rift" in America and compares such progressive radicalism to the German Kristallnacht.

A day later, he sent an email to Bloomberg saying he stood by his words.

Next he'll probably say that higher taxes are the same as Hiroshima. I cannot even imagine myself that big of a faux pas, and he DID IT AT LEAST TWICE...TO REPORTERS!

Talk about putting his mouth in motion before his brain was in gear!
 
schlmoe said:
Now we need a "SAD BUT TRUE" news thread.
http://www.foxnews.com/us/2014/01/14/ta ... t-believe/
The Tampa Bay man fatally shot Monday in front of his terrified wife inside a movie theater over an argument about text messaging told the gunman, "I can't believe I got shot," moments after suffering a fatal shot to the chest, a witness told The Tampa Bay Times.
What in the FLIPPING FUCK?
"Blood started coming out of his mouth," said witness Alex Cummings. "It was just a very bad scene."
No shit, Sherlock.



I can't wait for the trial. "It was a crime of passion. He refused to stop texting, then threw popcorn in my face. So I shot him."
Sadly, I have heard on the news the shooter may try to use Florida's "stand your ground" law.
 
Farting cows blow up barn after deadly buildup of methane gas inside

Dairy cows in Germany set their barn on fire after their farting and belching led to a deadly build up of methane inside the building, police said.

Gas levels from 90 cows reached unusually high levels Monday before dangerously reacting with static energy from a massaging machine.

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/world/f ... -1.1594986

In other news, German cows get free massages. Sometimes the endings aren't so happy.
 
Sevrin said:
In other news, German cows get free massages. Sometimes the endings aren't so happy.

If I remember correctly that's one of the techniques utilized in raising Kobe beef in Japan, along with feeding the cows beer.
 
Francesco F. Allegedly Adopted Plump, Black Cats So He Could Eat Them

Chew on this: An Italian man who adopted at least 15 cats over a two-year period is now being accused of cooking and eating them.

The man, identified only as Francesco F., allegedly traveled to various animal shelters in the province of Brianza and adopted black cats with very specific characteristics, according to Lorenzo Croce, the president of the Italian Association for the Defense of Animals and the Environment.

"They had to be around three years old, and quite plump," Croce said according to TheLocal.It.

After receiving a number of reports from various catteries, officials began to suspect the suspect was involved in some sort of Satanist group, Croce said.

The accused cat killer was allegedly caught red-handed as he was about to kill a cat for dinner, the Independent reported.

Investigators said that when the suspect was confronted, he seemed confused and asked if killing and eating cats was against the law.

Cat consumption is rare but not uncommon in Italy, according to Croce, who estimates Italians eat between 500-600 cats a year. He said his group files about 20-25 complaints a year against people who eat cats, Business-Standard.com reported.

If convicted, Francesco F. faces up to a year behind bars or a fine up to $20,487.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/01/3 ... 95775.html
 
Sevrin said:
Cat consumption is rare but not uncommon in Italy, according to Croce, who estimates Italians eat between 500-600 cats a year.

Is that each? :think:
1 cat for breakfast, 1 cat for lunch, pasta for dinner...yeah, that works out :mrgreen:
 
Will God have a say in Super Sunday outcome?

A poll taken earlier this month by the Public Religion Research Institute found that 22 percent of respondents believe God plays some role in the outcome of sporting events.

In its sampling of 1,011 adults, the Washington, D.C.-based organization found that 26 percent of respondents pray for God’s intervention to help their team and that 48 percent completely or mostly agreed that God rewards athletes who have faith with good health and success.
Source



I wonder if God spends a lot of time on the Miss MFC race? :think:
 
Local man to be buried atop motorcycle
Clear casket and burial plan was 18 years in the making, family says.

Billy Standley started planning to be buried astride his 1967 motorcycle about 18 years ago. His family carried out his wish Friday with a large Plexiglas casket.

As far back as his family can remember, Standley said he was going to be buried astride his Harley Davidson Electra Glide. They said the motorcycle helped him retain his sense of adventure after he settled down to raise four children in Mechanicsburg — quite a compromise for the man who made his start at the tender age of 13 as a ranch hand and rodeo rider.

“He was gruff, but his heart was as big as all outdoors,” said his daughter, Dorothy Brown.
Standley began making the burial plans, because when he died, he didn’t just want to ride to heaven, he wanted the whole world to see him do it in a see-through coffin. This required a lot of preparation, and even more gumption.

“He was a quirky man,” Brown said. “But when it comes to us kids, he loved us, he raised us well and, of course, we wanted to help him.”

He started by buying three extra burial plots at the Fairview Cemetery in Mutual, next to his wife, Lorna. The land was big enough for the 9-by-11-foot cement septic tank able to accommodate his bike. His sons, Pete and Roy, fashioned the casket out of Plexiglas, reinforcing the bottom with wood and steel rods to handle the extra weight. For five years, it sat in Standley’s garage and “if you stopped by his house, he showed you his casket,” Roy Standley said.

“He was proud of it,” he added.

Enlisting the help of Dave and Tammy Vernon, co-owners of Vernon Funeral Homes Inc., he ensured his funeral would be held outside, so all his biker friends could watch his final ride.

“We’ve done personalization … but nothing this extreme,” Tammy Vernon said. “He was the one who kept throwing this idea out there, to be buried on his bike. We were glad to assist him.”

His forethought proved advantageous after Standley was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s last year. Even as his mind wandered, his children or friends couldn’t forget his final wishes. When Standley succumbed to lung cancer Sunday at the age of 82, his plan rolled into action.

Five embalmers prepared his body and secured him with a metal back brace and straps to ensure he’d never lose his seat on his beloved bike, even as it was towed by a trailer to his final resting place. The casket was assembled in the garage of Vernon’s’ funeral home in Mechanicsburg, enshrining him with his trophies and well-worn leathers. After the visitation in the parking lot, motorcyclists from across the country will join him on his final ride to Fairview Cemetery.

The burial will be bizarre, and a bit shocking, to those in Mechanicsburg spied the processional, his family agreed. But they also know it’s only natural that Standley would want to make an entrance when he meets his maker.

“He’d done right by us all these years, and at least we could see he goes out the way he wanted to,” Pete Standley said.
Source http://www.daytondailynews.com/news/new ... bTopWidget

Some pictures of the ceremony:
MnaLqMd.jpg

AtHYoFL.jpg

htRE6Eb.jpg
 
schlmoe said:
Sevrin said:
Cat consumption is rare but not uncommon in Italy, according to Croce, who estimates Italians eat between 500-600 cats a year.

Is that each? :think:
1 cat for breakfast, 1 cat for lunch, pasta for dinner...yeah, that works out :mrgreen:

If a person who owns a bunch of cats dies, the cats start to eat the person. So why can't we eat the cats? I mean, eating someone else's pet is a definite DO NOT DO... but...
 
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