What happens next.....

[RebelleHart]

Lack of sarcasm and a bit of sympathetic understanding also helps communication

1. Perhaps, but I had that this whole time and you only managed to respond to me when I formatted my posts in numbered lists.

2. Therefore, I really think there is something to this list thing.

 

[Shy Cam Guy]

1. Maybe

 

[Shy Cam Guy]

1. Perhaps, but I had that this whole time and you only managed to respond to me when I formatted my posts in numbered lists.

2. Therefore, I really think there is something to this list thing.

1. But strictly they should only be numbered if order is important

• Otherwise dots are better

 

[Shy Cam Guy]

@Shy Cam Guy Here's what I think he should do. It's important not to skip any of these steps:

1. Tell her plainly that he wants to be her boyfriend, not her customer, thus he won't be spending on cam anymore. Do not obfuscate or be subtle about the conversation, and mean every word!
2. IMPORTANT: Stick to his guns and hold off on any financial assistance for preferably at least a month.
3. If she requests his presence in her cam room, or wants him providing "inspiration" while she works, fine, but don't pay for it.
4. Insist that their personal "real" sex life happen only using other, vanilla apps (this helps provide a psychological distance between him as a boyfriend vs cam customer, and also prevents her from dividing her attention and profiting off their private sex life).
5. If he wants to send her any money later on, he should do it through some vanilla, non-cam-related means (again, makes him distinct from a customer). It should be a gift, not a loan. It should NOT be in exchange for services of any kind. He should not go above and beyond what one might expect from a normal boyfriend.
6. See how it plays out.

Basically it boils down to... just be her boyfriend, nothing more, and see what happens! See if she's cool with that dynamic. He should also see if he's cool with the relationship once she's no longer in performance mode. Does he like the real person? This is going to require him to be mindful, and when they interact, ask himself whether the interaction he's having is normal in a vanilla long distance relationship. If it's not, stop, correct the dynamic, and get back to the vanilla relationship.


I lived in Spain for a bit, and they have a lot of schwarma in southern Spain. They were glorious, but it explains why there was no vegetarian option, lol! Obviously a Spanish schwarma is still a bastardization of the original, so I bet it's even better in your neck of the woods!

On stage 1 discussion about being boyfriend. Usual responses have been repeated

Why do you keep asking that
Do you not trust me
I have demonstrated so much love to you
You are the most important thing in my life
What more do you want me to do to prove it to you
I love you
You are everything to me
Etc etc

And it keeps going until my friend stops because he can't handle feeling bad

 

[a_haze420]

Dude.
He.
Needs.
To.
Block.
Her.
And.
Even.
If.
She.
Finds.
A.
Way.
Around.
It.
Don't.
Fucking.
Talk.
To.
Her.
And.
Stop.
Giving.
Her.
Money.

If she really cares she would not require his $. We have said this 1000's of times and you don't seem to be getting it.

 

[Ms_Gingersnatch]

I lived in Spain too, and the parts that are close to Morocco have a great Shcwarma, at least in some parts of Granada. I agree that the Spanish cooking there is far better though.

Granada is my favorite dream city! And yes, that is where my most distinct schwarma memories occurred...

On stage 1 discussion about being boyfriend. Usual responses have been repeated

Why do you keep asking that
Do you not trust me
I have demonstrated so much love to you
You are the most important thing in my life
What more do you want me to do to prove it to you
I love you
You are everything to me
Etc etc

And it keeps going until my friend stops because he can't handle feeling bad

Wait, I'm confused. Is she objecting to the part where he stops giving her money? Because that part wasn't really supposed to be up for negotiation. He's telling her that he won't be spending any more, not asking her permission to stop.

Or is she saying, basically, "Of course you're my boyfriend! That should go without saying at this point!"

 

[justjoinedtopost]

They have the lovense app so they can use toys off cams too

Oh, well that changes everything.

 

[Shy Cam Guy]

Granada is my favorite dream city! And yes, that is where my most distinct schwarma memories occurred...

Wait, I'm confused. Is she objecting to the part where he stops giving her money? Because that part wasn't really supposed to be up for negotiation. He's telling her that he won't be spending any more, not asking her permission to stop.

Or is she saying, basically, "Of course you're my boyfriend! That should go without saying at this point!"

Its about the nature of the relationship but I think the scammers don't make a distinction.

 

[Shy Cam Guy]

I should add that a few of the smart asses on this thread are being ignored so you are wasting your time. I had to do it because you were cluttering the thread and being annoying. I guess the smart asses know who they are

 

[AmberCutie]

Thankfully nobody can put me on ignore, I run this place! Muahahaha!

 

[AmberCutie]

ACFers, are we done with this fabricated/exaggerated story or do you want to keep going? Frankly I’m past the point that it’s entertaining and I’ve got the itchy trigger finger now. I don’t like giving these attention seekers so much free goods. What say you?

 

[justjoinedtopost]

 

[Shy Cam Guy]

ACFers, are we done with this fabricated/exaggerated story or do you want to keep going? Frankly I’m past the point that it’s entertaining and I’ve got the itchy trigger finger now. I don’t like giving these attention seekers so much free goods. What say you?

Sorry Amber
I will end it. But it's not fabricated in any way. Everything I have said about this problem is true and I guess it will remain unresolved until some crisis or conclusion

 

[mynameisbob84]

Sorry Amber
I will end it. But it's not fabricated in any way. Everything I have said about this problem is true

People believe the problem, they just don't believe that it's your friend's problem.

 

[CoffeeKnight]

ACFers, are we done with this fabricated/exaggerated story or do you want to keep going? Frankly I’m past the point that it’s entertaining and I’ve got the itchy trigger finger now. I don’t like giving these attention seekers so much free goods. What say you?

It stopped being entertaining a while ago for me. I've honestly just been waiting for some sort of a blowup and then a ban hammer. That is how these type of threads seem to end up.

 

[justjoinedtopost]

It stopped being entertaining a while ago for me.

Agreed. Tedious trivialities that add up to nothing more than "my 'friend' is emotionally stunted".

 

[TokenGesture]

What say you?

We might miss the season ending finale of What Happens Next.

In this unmissable episode we find out that the hero of this tale The Friend and his sidekick Shy Guy are astronauts in their spare time. To escape the dangerous shenanigans on Earth, they volunteer for a six month mission aboard the International Space Station. Scientific experiments to aid mankind and the serenity of orbiting the planet are a wonderful release from their troubles on Earth. Their peace is threatened however when they look out the window of the station to see an approaching spacecraft. The ominous craft appears to be designed as a big scaled up Lovense Lush toy. Who can be on board? What can she want? Is the shit about to hit the fan?

Find out what happens next in the season ending finale of What Happens Next. Only on ACF On Demand

 

[paige_orion]

1. Lack of sarcasm and
2. A bit of sympathetic understanding
also helps communication

My SO does use lists to communicate with me. I thought that was quite common in relationships. She found that if she told me stuff it was quickly forgotten

I'm actually super impressed that you were able to get people to interact and CONTINUE to attempt to help you after insulting everyone who tried to help, and everyone who participates on this forum, over and over again. Guess this isn't such an obnoxious place after all, considering there are people STILL trying to help. You guys are so kind!

My opinion?

You can't be responsible for anyone else's choices. Your "friend" is getting played. He isn't under a spell. He suspects the truth, everyone knows the truth - but he doesn't want to take responsibility for his own choices. He is CHOOSING to continue to give money, over and over again, even knowing he is probably getting scammed. He is CHOOSING to continue to interact with her, even knowing that he is probably being scammed. He is CHOOSING to continue in this venture, even knowing the truth. I'm not interested in helping him at this point. He is a big boy and he is responsible for his own decisions. If he continues to get scammed, by continuing to participate in this situation even AFTER knowing about the scam, I honestly have zero sympathy. He's going to learn and there's a 99.999% chance that it is going to suck hard. But he knows what could happen, what is most likely going to happen, and is going forward anyways. So when it blows up, you're honestly going to find very, very, very little sympathy here.

You can only watch someone make the same mistake so many times before you lose all interest in seeing the outcome, except as a source of entertainment.

 

[Shy Cam Guy]

Granada is my favorite dream city! And yes, that is where my most distinct schwarma memories occurred...

Wait, I'm confused. Is she objecting to the part where he stops giving her money? Because that part wasn't really supposed to be up for negotiation. He's telling her that he won't be spending any more, not asking her permission to stop.

Or is she saying, basically, "Of course you're my boyfriend! That should go without saying at this point!"

Ok Ginger. Its still going. They have had a discussion about money and the relationship and he has told her that he can't send money for things she needs. They have been discussing plans for when they meet and despite not sending her more money until they are together she asked him never ever to leave her. However who knows in what capacity that is. He will wait and see. And I still think it's a long game scam

 

[Shy Cam Guy]

Ok Ginger. Its still going. They have had a discussion about money and the relationship and he has told her that he can't send money for things she needs. They have been discussing plans for when they meet and despite not sending her more money until they are together she asked him never ever to leave her. However who knows in what capacity that is. He will wait and see. And I still think it's a long game scam

Onto Stage 2 to see how long it lasts. But the harder he is on the money the more she says she wants him. I don't get the reverse psychology. But he is getting in deeper which could be bad.

 

[a_haze420]

K I'm sorry but straight up if he hasn't figured out to stop talking to her yet he is an idiot.

 

[justjoinedtopost]

Onto Stage 2...

One month, and 8 pages of crap, and we are just now getting to "Stage 2" ???

 

[The Insider]

Wow this really took a few twists & turns

Shy, nothing that anyone says here will satisfy you and your problem

You talk about models scamming and you want the industry to acknowledge it. Who the fuck is the industry? this isn't Chase Manhattan Bank
You think at the January convention the owners of all the cam sites are gonna get together in a room as "the industry" and draft a statement?
You are approaching this with a bias, saying that you fell prey to these scams before reveals your prejudice.You feel so damn sure inside you are right and you won't be satisfied till someone from "the industry" says what you want, and then you still won't be satisfied
Everyone here whomever they be or models on sites, 99% are work-a-day joe blow schlubs. There are some that have terrible paying days, day in, day out but they show up for work. For some money is gonna flow like water. These women are not devoid of a conscience. There is no vast amount of models that set out every day with the intent of fleecing some rube. It's very few and self-destructive and what happens is they eventually self-destruct. The problem takes care of itself.
You are putting a lot of blood, sweat, and tears into your friend's problem. To be honest from the first page I thought it's you, there is no friend.

I remember when I started I actually read either in the TOS or the model agreement that as far as getting to know someone outside of the site that were not going to stand in the way of people making friends or more.
That's why I take a little issue with what I read a few times about if men only used this site as it was intended, this, that and the other etc
All of the sites morphed into semi-social media sites. You know the cute boy on the corner who's unemployed and smokes weed all day? he's not tipping you
Men 30, 40, 50, 60 and older are tipping you. Men with money. Lonely men.
These are the guys who show up every day to tip and support you.Why? because they love you. They tip huge amounts to win a lunch date in Vegas just to see you for an hour. All the guests and basics dont add up to a hot fart. It's those lonely guys who are using the site as some feel it's not intended, those are the guys who are paying everyone's bills. When they send gifts to your mail drop, or birthday cards or keep your room talking when you are having a crappy day you are thrilled, you feel loved, you feel cared for, you feel great and at that moment you don't think they are using the site as it wasn't intended. Everyone just has to get used to the fact some guys are gonna fall in love with models, some models might scam guys, sometimes they make a love connection and they marry. There is no should, this is just the way the site will be used, and in the future, it might morph into something else


P.s. Shy, you sound like an educated man. At this point, whomever is involved with this model knows it's a toxic situation. If a model who is the defacto fiancee keeps asking for money and the well has run dry why keep it going. Did whomever tell this model they were wildly wealthy when they really weren't and are now trapped in a lie trying to save face? Fuck it, walk away. Bite your lip, disappear from this woman's life and learn a harsh lesson.
Also, your info is hearsay, it's 3rd party. How do we know you are telling the truth about everything and not trying to make the model look worse because of your previously mentioned bias ?

 

[Shy Cam Guy]

Insider

I'm not going to respond all your comments, just the on topic stuff. Nobody is trying to make the model look bad. My friend really likes her both as a performer and whatever external relationship they have. From day one of her starting to push a relationship he made his financial status clear and she knows he isn't wealthy. No wells have run dry. There are many wealthier tippers than my friend who like to brag to her about their money.

They have also reached a stage where money and tips are not expected or required. And after the last few days following some advice by Ms Gingersnatch he is exploring the nature of the post tipping relationship. As I said a few posts above she is pushing the relationship/partner stuff even harder. All he wants us to see things through because no matter what people say they seem to get on well. We shall see what happens. But at the moment the "relationship" or whatever they have is still on getting stronger. They have had the money discussion numerous times. People can scoff and mick all they like and imagine things and put words in people's mouths. That seems to one of your favourite activities. But I'm the one closest to this situation in this forum.

As for all the industry stuff let's not go back there. I have my views. You have yours. They aren't relevant here

 

[a_haze420]

If she isn't expecting money now then what the ever loving fuck is the problem??!

Like I'm so confused. So she doesn't get tips anymore and they are just talking? Yet you still think she is "scamming" him. You story has too many holes man.

 

[a_haze420]

Just staaaahhhhp posting.

 

[Shy Cam Guy]

If she isn't expecting money now then what the ever loving fuck is the problem??!

Like I'm so confused. So she doesn't get tips anymore and they are just talking? Yet you still think he is "scamming" her. You story has too many holes man.

Its not a story. I was trying to help a friend navigate a difficult situation. It seems that MsGingersnatch was one of the few to understand and offer some practical steps through which they are working. It could still be a scam but the relationship stuff is being played very hard. That is essentially 24/7 relationship stuff, not just cams. However it still could be a big scam. He just wants to see how it goes and not unnecessarily destroy things until he is more sure. That's all.

 

[Shy Cam Guy]

Just staaaahhhhp posting.

Ok, I will stop.

 

[Just_A_Guy]

This is way better than Netflix. It's not a thread anymore, it has reached a whole new level now. It's like a Shakespeare's play (Act II, I mean, now we have moved into Stage 2) and we wait for the inevitable ending.

 

[AudriTwo]

This is way better than Netflix. It's not a thread anymore, it has reached a whole new level now. It's like a Shakespeare's play (Act II, I mean, now we have moved into Stage 2) and we wait for the inevitable ending.

I'm looking forward to the jig at the end like in Macbeth.