I'm so confused what that has to do with preferred pronouns.
In fairness, this thread didn't start with preferred pronouns, and threads drift.
That said, on the pronouns front, like most things, I'm pretty simple. I prefer that people that have pronoun preferences politely tell me what they prefer. By default I'd instinctively use the pronoun that appears to match a person's gender expression, failing that, I'd try to use their name as much as possible, and finally probably fall back on "they/them". Like others have said, that last still triggers an automatic looking around for the second person to make the plural, but I can get past that with effort.
I have a terrible memory for names, and tend to respond to introductions by acknowledging that, and reassuring the person that I'll memorize the name eventually. The same would applies pronouns.
If a person gets immediately angry with me using the wrong pronoun the first time, I'm probably going to distance myself from that person. Not because of their pronoun choice, but because that feels like they don't respect my ability and willingness to learn and adjust.
Tying back slightly to the original topic, I feel the same way about Person of Color vs. Black vs. African American. Often it's easier to just not refer to race, but I have friends with
very strong preferences for and against each of those, so I try to remember and use the right one in the right place.
