So I'm coming up on the one year since I started this in a month, even though I really haven't worked at all since ... february? Barely even then. I've been planning on coming back and using my knowledge to sort of start new over again. I don't know if that's a good thing to do as a camgirl but I think it might be best for me.
I learn sort of ... quickly but not really thoroughly until I am comfortable with something. And so I have some mortifying moments.
The one that will always stick out for me though... and it was down to two. <.<
I'd had a long and totally unproductive shift. Someone that I genuinely liked talked me into watching his cam for about... half price... or four minutes. Something very short. I waited almost double time because he was really into it... but I was also in that headspace of watching the clock and because I have horrible timing I ended up interrupting him preeeetty much in the middle of his finish. He kind of got angry, paid more and finished and left and I've never seen him since.
I felt awful and messaged him saying sorry (I think, I might have just mortifiedly shrunk away)... and still feel ... bleh. My timing is getting better though. I learn from mistakes at least.
Another for me is also money and emotional related. (Did I mention I haven't cammed in months? it's because I went crazy. >.> They put me in a round room. **Seriously though no one put me anywhere. I just took time to get my shiznit together. ... oh dear. I'm rambling now.
That other mortifying event I'm avoiding mentioning. This was earlyish from a very bad night. I logged off and cried... and then I told myself to get back on the pony, changed my dress and got back to it. And ended up logging off. Cried, told myself to be a big girl, logged back on. Logged back off. Cried. (There were a few iterations of this) until I got really mad. And I don't get mad often but when I do I'm scary. So I logged back in with my riding crop, changed my topic to FRIDAY OF BELLIGERENCE AND RAGE 25 tk to crop. And greeted everyone with "Hi (username) FUCK YOU!" I held that together for all of ten minutes while someone very kind who was flipping through models messaged me and mentioned that this seemed out of character. I cried. On cam. And my one regular gentleman came in and basically saved the day. I never saw the kind person again. But I've got warm fuzzy vibes of goodness going their way at a constant rate.
Ask everyone. Mortification is fun after the fact! What's a mortifying event for you?
I learn sort of ... quickly but not really thoroughly until I am comfortable with something. And so I have some mortifying moments.
The one that will always stick out for me though... and it was down to two. <.<
I'd had a long and totally unproductive shift. Someone that I genuinely liked talked me into watching his cam for about... half price... or four minutes. Something very short. I waited almost double time because he was really into it... but I was also in that headspace of watching the clock and because I have horrible timing I ended up interrupting him preeeetty much in the middle of his finish. He kind of got angry, paid more and finished and left and I've never seen him since.
I felt awful and messaged him saying sorry (I think, I might have just mortifiedly shrunk away)... and still feel ... bleh. My timing is getting better though. I learn from mistakes at least.
Another for me is also money and emotional related. (Did I mention I haven't cammed in months? it's because I went crazy. >.> They put me in a round room. **Seriously though no one put me anywhere. I just took time to get my shiznit together. ... oh dear. I'm rambling now.
That other mortifying event I'm avoiding mentioning. This was earlyish from a very bad night. I logged off and cried... and then I told myself to get back on the pony, changed my dress and got back to it. And ended up logging off. Cried, told myself to be a big girl, logged back on. Logged back off. Cried. (There were a few iterations of this) until I got really mad. And I don't get mad often but when I do I'm scary. So I logged back in with my riding crop, changed my topic to FRIDAY OF BELLIGERENCE AND RAGE 25 tk to crop. And greeted everyone with "Hi (username) FUCK YOU!" I held that together for all of ten minutes while someone very kind who was flipping through models messaged me and mentioned that this seemed out of character. I cried. On cam. And my one regular gentleman came in and basically saved the day. I never saw the kind person again. But I've got warm fuzzy vibes of goodness going their way at a constant rate.
Ask everyone. Mortification is fun after the fact! What's a mortifying event for you?