A model seeking love and a future with a client? Or a manipulative romance scammer? One year anniversary! Ideas and impressions sought, please.

[Ozzie_]

I can go on and on. Some things include financial help and some don’t.

Sorry I thought you mentioned a lot of examples of monetary "help" (iPhones etc)

But your position is fair enough and may your partners always be 100% healthy, employed and out of any troubles and have lots of family to support them in trouble ever comes ?

If a woman was *actually* my partner, of course I'd be helping her. The model in George's situation is not and never was his partner. Likewise my remarks were meant with regard to any woman who was not yet my partner.

But I think we must have a culture clash here, I would never be interested in a woman who expected me to shower her with expensive gifts as proof of either my interest in her or my worthiness as a partner; likewise I have never met a woman who expected that of a man IRL (or online actually).

As to your examples of non-monetary help such as help with getting to know the metro or driving, well, I would do that for a friend or even an acquaintance with no expectation of a relationship; in my opinion it's just how decent human beings behave.

But dropping over a thousand bucks for an iPhone on a mere acquaintance? Nope.

 

[GeorgeSpelvin]

girls I got to know when I was in studio married guys whom they met on cam. I would say in all the cases guys started off as big tippers and definitely were trying to win girls attention and prove they’re not perverts and are safe to meet irl lol Of course they took them to pvts just to talk, sent nice gifts etc.

Keep in mind that I did the same thing: I spent a lot on her, both on tips and long privates that were purely us chatting....and later offline money and gifts. I don't doubt that there are cases where models married guys they met in this situation.

But here's my question for you: How many girls pretended to like such big spenders, even led them on romantically for months or years, only to get money -- not with any real intention of dating or marriage at all? Because from what people are saying on this forum (and in other places, too), that's a lot more common than what you are describing.

Then “stranger” from Russia is not obligated to care what you’re thinking or inform about her “real feelings” as long as you paying ??‍you don’t give 3 fucks about the girl why would she

I clarified this in my other response. I'm sure I was sincere. The questions I began to have were about her claimed feelings...

I don't know the cam modeling industry but a big difference in what I'm hearing you say versus a lot of other models who have commented here is: Most of the models here are saying: "Webcam sites aren't dating sites; the intent isn't to find a wife; and the models aren't supposed to be there to meet offsite and commence relationships." You seem to be saying, "Models can and do engage in relationships with the clients and often marry them." I don't have an opinion on this either way; I'm wondering if this is something more common though for Eastern Europe/Russian models than for Western models?

Also, you aren't saying much about the possibility of simple, outright scamming...yet that seems to be what I hear most about. It appears that situations with a client and model meeting online, marrying, and having a successful situation are the rare exception.

Again...I don't know...I just came here to tell the story of my situation.

 

[GeorgeSpelvin]

You asking it on internet? It could be 15 minutes conversation with Her. I also didn’t see how old are you?

Because when I started camming in Ukraine back in 2013 I started in studio, and few girls from my studio ended up marrying guys they met on cam, and now live abroad, still married, some have children. This is not That uncommon. But in all this scenarios age gap was not big, man was 3 years older maximum or they were of same age. So if your age gap is big as if 25 and 55 it’s bigger red flag than anything else tbh.


So before it was enjoyable and worth what you were spending then it became not enjoyable? Absolutely fair enough of you to stop spending money on something that’s not enjoyable. You are outright saying you enjoying seeing this woman asking for money and denying her it. As soon as it became not enjoyable you could just say “Our situationship is no longer enjoyable for me, I want to stop communication/become regular client as before etc etc”. She would be at first in discomfort and try to sort it out because obviously she was spending her personal time doing all the things with you that you enjoyed previously, but then she would get back on her feet and spend this time working and make up for income loss.


But the real question is, if you could know for sure, 100% that she’s in love with you, would you get her all the things she’s asking for? So you’re interested if she’s “Truly” interested but if she’s not then she’s a scammer from internet? ?
Or the woman with such expectations is not someone you’d ever want irl, and don’t want such demanding cam girl to go to? No longer entertaining? - then easy, ditch the girl.


So you were giving her more money because she was telling you about her feelings (real or not)? This was affecting your decision In how much money you’d give her yet you didn’t think of yourself as her boyfriend of some sort? But what happened is you got bored of it and you not longer get dopamine rush from it?

You asking it on internet? It could be 15 minutes conversation with Her. I also didn’t see how old are you?

Big age gap and yes, we discussed it many times. She always insisted, "Age doesn't matter to me." Believable? You tell me...

So before it was enjoyable and worth what you were spending then it became not enjoyable?

It was enjoyable before the discrepancies began to pile up to the point where they could no longer be ignored and therefore her sincerity became dubious.

But the real question is, if you could know for sure, 100% that she’s in love with you, would you get her all the things she’s asking for? So you’re interested if she’s “Truly” interested but if she’s not then she’s a scammer from internet?

If she was sincere and not a scammer, why would it be a problem if I remained interested? Wouldn't that just make me like those other guys you mentioned who married the model from the studio? I never said I was against the idea of a member and model dating or getting married.

But what happened is you got bored of it and you not longer get dopamine rush from it?

You really like to fill in the gaps without information. I realize this is a long thread but most of this is covered. I didn't get bored with it. I got increasingly suspicious that she was lying about her romantic feelings and intentions. I asked people here what they thought. We didn't do a poll but it seems like it came down something like: 70% think she's a scammer (doing this purely for money; all fake) and maybe 30% think she is be sincere (but has some personality problems or is at minimum, narcissistic and materialistic).

 

[GeorgeSpelvin]

Slavic women with adequate self esteem do love man to be a provider and give gifts.. I don’t know why they often being blamed for it though.

Is there a culture somewhere in the world where the women love being the providers and giving the expensive gifts to the men? Asking for a friend.

 

[Lilly_____]

She’s a scammer, case is closed. Khalas

Of all things though, this is the only thing that indicates a scam to you? I'm honestly asking because to topic obviously has much more to do with your culture but as someone who is actually attracted to older men, I wouldn't see this single fact as THE giveaway.

 

[MarieElise]

Feeling that the person you thought you knew is now a stranger is a normal part of a grieving process. Means he’s letting go and realizing the dream was just that… a dream in his own head. Maybe that’s for the best in this case ?‍

Seems like they don’t have a lot of good to do each other right now. No matter who’s right and who’s wrong.

 

[GeorgeSpelvin]

Of all things though, this is the only thing that indicates a scam to you? I'm honestly asking because to topic obviously has much more to do with your culture but as someone who is actually attracted to older men, I wouldn't see this single fact as THE giveaway.

This is an interesting comment.

So to give even more info - I'm a "middle aged" guy and the model in question is 25. The caveat (if applicable): I look younger than I am and I'm an athlete. Good looking, popular when I was the "young buck" - now maybe just "good looking for his age." lol

I mention this because, regardless of what I just said, others have said something that echoed EasternPromis' comments: "Doesn't matter dude. You could be the best looking middle aged guy around but to a 25-year-old, you are like dad. Unless you're extremely wealthy and that's her sole interest." So that's definitely an argument in favor of the "She's a scammer" camp.

Maybe not a universal truth? This thread sure raises more questions than answers!

 

[rockin_rod]

If a long-distance 'relationship' lasting 12 months, between 2 people who claimed to have romantic feelings for each other, never once prompted any serious discussion around meeting IRL, then there was no real prospect of it becoming anything other than what it started out as on a camming platform.

 

[MarieElise]

Omg here I go again. This is just a coincidence that I am refuting you again Rod, and I’m not in any way arguing that this cyber hook up is not dead in the water… however…

I do want to add that I’ve seen a lot of people on this forum, models and members say; that if you talk to someone for a long period of time, and don’t meet up … that means that it’s not real. I would like to argue, the opposite, because back when I did dating and online dating, quite the exact opposite was the case. I often wouldn’t want to meet up with someone too soon, who i was getting to know, and taking seriously. Where as someone I wasn’t taking seriously, I would be happy to meet up with right away. So it does sound like for the majority of you, not meeting up for a long period of time would mean and that you are not really serious or interested. However the opposite is the case for me , and I’m sure it could be the case for some other tiny proportion of people. Emphasis on some, because it does seem like that is not the case for the majority. I’m not a Virgo I swear, however I do have a lot of Libra planets ?I just had to add this in . That point has been driving me nuts for months.

PS ; there are a tiny number of us who move like sloths if we are planning something real lasting. Don’t look us over out there. We want love too!!

 

[rockin_rod]

Omg here I go again. This is just a coincidence that I am refuting you again Rod, and I’m not in any way arguing that this cyber hook up is not dead in the water… however…

I do want to add that I’ve seen a lot of people on this forum, models and members say; that if you talk to someone for a long period of time, and don’t meet up … that means that it’s not real. I would like to argue, the opposite, because back when I did dating and online dating, quite the exact opposite was the case. I often wouldn’t want to meet up with someone too soon, who i was getting to know, and taking seriously. Where as someone I wasn’t taking seriously, I would be happy to meet up with right away. So it does sound like for the majority of you, not meeting up for a long period of time would mean and that you are not really serious or interested. However the opposite is the case for me , and I’m sure it could be the case for some other tiny proportion of people. Emphasis on some, because it does seem like that is not the case for the majority. I’m not a Virgo I swear, however I do have a lot of Libra planets ?I just had to add this in . That point has been driving me nuts for months.

PS ; there are a tiny number of us who move like sloths if we are planning something real lasting. Don’t look us over out there. We want love too!!

All good! I meant that (unless I missed it in this looooong thread, which is a definite possibility!) there did not seem to have been any discussion around meeting up. Meeting up, and discussing meeting up, are obv quite different steps, but at least discussing the possibility and options for it, would show me that there was intent on both sides and would have been a much stronger sign that the relationship had a possible future.

ETA: I'm a Scorpio, fwiw

 

[GeorgeSpelvin]

I’m not in any way arguing that this cyber hook up is not dead in the water…

Well...meeting was discussed but the war created complications for where she could go and allegedly other issues. But her last, recent proclamations were that we should meet in Istanbul in the spring. Should I reopen communication channels?

 

[rockin_rod]

Well...meeting was discussed but the war created complications for where she could go and allegedly other issues. But her last, recent proclamations were that we should meet in Istanbul in the spring. Should I reopen communication channels?

Who was funding the flights, hotel room(s), meals, etc?

 

[GeorgeSpelvin]

Idk why OP wouldn’t say his age? Middle age is very vague, google says it’s between 40 to 60. Which is giant gap. My husband says no way he’d have a child and deal with baby-toddler stages past 40 and it’s fair enough, small children is rough. So what’s your plan if your new 20-something wife wants a baby?
Is there already existing children involved?

So what’s your plan if your new 20-something wife wants a baby?
Is there already existing children involved?

Don't get mad at me, I'm going to just tell you literally what she has said about this topic:

"I don't like children; I'm selfish that way."

No existing children are involved on either side.

And I already mentioned her take on liking older guys (along with allegedly not liking men her age, whom she thinks are immature). Oh...and she often railed against the men in her "oblast" - claims to dislike Russian men and has relayed tales of their drinking, betryal, and one that broke one of her ribs.

Again...I'm repeating what she said over time.... Any of it believable? Again...you tell me.

 

[GeorgeSpelvin]

Who was funding the flights, hotel room(s), meals, etc?

That would have to be me. After this long thread, surprised you would have to ask.

 

[MarieElise]

Well...meeting was discussed but the war created complications for where she could go and allegedly other issues. But her last, recent proclamations were that we should meet in Istanbul in the spring. Should I reopen communication channels?

No. Absolutely not. You can’t be another persons crutch and rescue them from a bad place, whether it be geographical, mental, emotional or all of the above. They have to do it for themselves or you’re gonna get sucked into either full codependency, or one sided codependency. Both of which suck donkey balls hard. Trust me on that one. Codependency is the devil ?You don’t want to end up with donkey jizz on your face. Metaphorically speaking.(Sorry, I’m not the most poetic).

 

[Lilly_____]

Omg here I go again. This is just a coincidence that I am refuting you again Rod, and I’m not in any way arguing that this cyber hook up is not dead in the water… however…

I do want to add that I’ve seen a lot of people on this forum, models and members say; that if you talk to someone for a long period of time, and don’t meet up … that means that it’s not real. I would like to argue, the opposite, because back when I did dating and online dating, quite the exact opposite was the case. I often wouldn’t want to meet up with someone too soon, who i was getting to know, and taking seriously. Where as someone I wasn’t taking seriously, I would be happy to meet up with right away. So it does sound like for the majority of you, not meeting up for a long period of time would mean and that you are not really serious or interested. However the opposite is the case for me , and I’m sure it could be the case for some other tiny proportion of people. Emphasis on some, because it does seem like that is not the case for the majority. I’m not a Virgo I swear, however I do have a lot of Libra planets ?I just had to add this in . That point has been driving me nuts for months.

PS ; there are a tiny number of us who move like sloths if we are planning something real lasting. Don’t look us over out there. We want love too!!

Yeah, I mean, I think people started picking on what - to me - are the wrong reasons why this isn't real.

The age thing, the fact that they haven't met yet, I mean, those are the least concerning things about this whole story, in my humble opinion.

I really don't want to talk much about my personal life here but I've had amazing relationships with people who I waited months to meet - older men, on top of that. Might be just my personal experience of course but to say that this is a formula to a fake relationship has never been true to me.

Edit - that said, I still believe this is a lovecon

 

[rockin_rod]

That would have to be me. After this long thread, surprised you would have to ask.

It was a rhetorical question, the answer was never in doubt.

 

[Omne35]

Well...meeting was discussed but the war created complications for where she could go and allegedly other issues. But her last, recent proclamations were that we should meet in Istanbul in the spring. Should I reopen communication channels?

Turkey is a Nato country, can she even get in right now? Not to mention all the fighting going in in the Black Sea. If she mentions a cruise run.

 

[Omne35]

Don't get mad at me, I'm going to just tell you literally what she has said about this topic:

"I don't like children; I'm selfish that way."

No existing children are involved on either side.

And I already mentioned her take on liking older guys (along with allegedly not liking men her age, whom she thinks are immature). Oh...and she often railed against the men in her "oblast" - claims to dislike Russian men and has relayed tales of their drinking, betryal, and one that broke one of her ribs.

Again...I'm repeating what she said over time.... Any of it believable? Again...you tell me.

Yeah, a lot of Russian men are alcoholic chainsmokers and occasional spousal abusers. There is a reason their life expectancy has lagged women for decades.
Some are great guys though. I would be skeptical of a much older Russian man with a younger woman unless she was a trophy wife. Age to age is much more common. Not saying it couldn't happen but the few examples I remember they were looking for good looking punching bags. Jealousy makes a great excuse to some twisted minds.

 

[Nienna]

I’m not sure who was it, just one commenter said that their favorite cam girl asked not to spend much money because she raised prices.


I’m married to American, we met on Tinder after I moved abroad, he definitely bought me quite a bit of iPhones, other Apple products, jewelry, trips, clothes and other nice things before we even were married. We both have high income tho, but I was never shy to tell what gift I’d like and I definitely did say like “ooooooh my favorite hair straightener broke what am I gonna doooo” and he would show up with new hair straightener to “save me”. I love when my husband buys me gifts and flowers! It’s definitely depends on income and what man can afford though, sometimes girls settle or don’t ask for much because they don’t think they deserve much,
but 100% certain it is Slavic women with adequate self esteem do love man to be a provider and give gifts.. I don’t know why they often being blamed for it though. Many nationalities like this, go tell Arab woman do 50/50 on something she will laugh in your face lol

Hi. The bolded was me. My friend did indeed raise her prices recently. She asked me not to spend money on her, because we talk and she knows my financial situation. I am saving money for extensive dental work and want to return to university in the next couple of years. She is very proud and in fact supportive of my endeavors.
This is not about self-esteem. She works on five different sites, 4 days a week for 8 hours per her studio contract. She maintains a nice, some would say even luxury apartment on the Neva river. She lives comfortably according to Russian standards.
She is divorced and fiercely independant.
She specializes in pantyhose and foot fetish shows, and says she can earn 6-7 K tokens in some of these shows.
Lately though, she has been amping up her general chat show, (which is non nude) in the hopes she can do less private shows. She has said to me point blank, "I do not want to be naked".
She does have issues with what she does, and keeps it a closely guarded secret. Her family does not know.
She says that Russian men are different, in that they are much more judgemental and view camming as "dirty". Some even view it as the same as prostitution.
She is also of an older generation, she will be 50 on her next birthday.

I have read your posts before in other threads, and I wanted to say I really appreciate your perspective. Your insight and explanation of Russian culture has helped me to better understand and appreciate my friend.

 

[Nienna]

Yeah, a lot of Russian men are alcoholic chainsmokers and occasional spousal abusers. There is a reason their life expectancy has lagged women for decades.
Some are great guys though. I would be skeptical of a much older Russian man with a younger woman unless she was a trophy wife. Age to age is much more common. Not saying it couldn't happen but the few examples I remember they were looking for good looking punching bags. Jealousy makes a great excuse to some twisted minds.

Yes. My Russian friend is divorced and a survivor of domestic abuse. She does not speak very highly of Russian men.

 

[GeorgeSpelvin]

Turkey

Apparently Russian citizens can still travel there. Turkey is the friendliest of the NATO countries toward Russia, even a year into the invasion. I don't think Turkey has gone along with most sanctions and I know that it hasn't cancelled flights.

If she mentions a cruise run.

Why? Just curious.

 

[GeorgeSpelvin]

lol i love this thread. george is hopeless. john cant stop trying to save george. and 9 monitors dude got bettlejuice'd back to brag about himself.

john cant stop trying to save george

That would have been noble but I think his obsession had some other agenda. The repeated attempts to get me to reveal the model's name? Then the weird lectures on porn and monkey sex? Ehhh...

 

[mika_kedi]

But the point is...if she was not sincere...

She was sincere though, in a way. She told you, repeatedly, from a start:

I see you as a man with whom I can have a future. And then there were statements about wanting to meet, fantasies of trips to various cities in Europe,

with whom I want to build a future ...

I don't agree with many things @EasternPromis is saying, I find some of them to be downright insulting generalisations towards Slavic women, but she also has some good points and I do agree with her about the fact that it's pretty obvious that the model you've been talking to is not living the dream in Russia and has plenty of reasons to want to escape from there.

Looks like she wanted you, your money and your foreign passport to be her ticket out. Her way to build a future. And it really doesn't look to me like she was hiding it, she was just putting it nicely with a romantic bow on top at first, because obviously "I will never love you, but give me money and take me away from my fucked up country and it's delusional, dangerous dictator and I, an attractive 25 yo, will give you companionship" was unlikely to work. I'm not blaming you for not noticing it at first, you caught feelings and wanted to believe she did too, but I do believe it should be clear to you by now 18 pages into this thread.

It also makes sense to me why she's so rude and blunt now. She feels she wasted a year trying to work towards her goal and it's pretty clear it's not gonna work out, because you finally starting noticing that her goal is different than yours, so she's trying to squeeze some last expensive gifts out of it.

I'm not saying what she did was okay or that the way she's talking to you right now isn't fucked up, but at the same time it's hard for me to judge her too harshly. And what would be the point anyway? The best thing you can do now OP, as been said many timed by many people in this thread before, is to just block her everywhere and move on.

 

[misterical]

Here's a question: Is it common in Slavic culture for a woman to ask a man she don't really know and has never even met to wire thousands of dollars per month to her for "expenses"?

Please tell us that's a request that you didn't fulfil...... ?

 

[misterical]

Omg here I go again. This is just a coincidence that I am refuting you again Rod, and I’m not in any way arguing that this cyber hook up is not dead in the water… however…

I do want to add that I’ve seen a lot of people on this forum, models and members say; that if you talk to someone for a long period of time, and don’t meet up … that means that it’s not real. I would like to argue, the opposite, because back when I did dating and online dating, quite the exact opposite was the case. I often wouldn’t want to meet up with someone too soon, who i was getting to know, and taking seriously. Where as someone I wasn’t taking seriously, I would be happy to meet up with right away. So it does sound like for the majority of you, not meeting up for a long period of time would mean and that you are not really serious or interested. However the opposite is the case for me , and I’m sure it could be the case for some other tiny proportion of people. Emphasis on some, because it does seem like that is not the case for the majority. I’m not a Virgo I swear, however I do have a lot of Libra planets ?I just had to add this in . That point has been driving me nuts for months.

PS ; there are a tiny number of us who move like sloths if we are planning something real lasting. Don’t look us over out there. We want love too!!

I would agree entirely with MarieElise. In the post Covid world, we need to look at what constitutes a real relationship. After all, entire multi-billion pound corporations managed to run successfully while every interaction was conducted entirely online for the best part of 2 years.

When 2 people communicate that regularly, it's a relationship, regardless of whether it's conducted online or offline. It's still a thing.

The thing that should be questioned is the true nature of the relationship and the intentions of the people in that relationship. That would be equally as true whether they had met in real life or not.

 

[ArcticKitty]

I think this a bit over dramatic.

I thought the hair straightener skit was, actually.

By “saving” and “helping” I mean that it’s common at least where I’m from or among my friends abroad to express if they have some difficulties and if man is into them they’d volunteer to help. For example when I moved to new city I wasn’t sure how to use metro to get where I needed from where I lived so guy who liked me volunteered to show me how to get around there.
My best friend when started just started driving car was afraid to drive so guy who now-husband volunteered to help her learn roads and was driving with her at night.
I can go on and on. Some things include financial help and some don’t.


But your position is fair enough and may your partners always be 100% healthy, employed and out of any troubles and have lots of family to support them in trouble ever comes ?

For real, both myself and Ozzie were reacting to the "gold digging lite" vibe. We're not talking about giving a someone thoughtful gift and certainly not talking about helping a friend when their luck is down. Ozzie really would not appreciate being targeted as a walking ATM, and I really would not want anyone I was with to even wonder that about me.

 

[ArcticKitty]

I would agree entirely with MarieElise. In the post Covid world, we need to look at what constitutes a real relationship. After all, entire multi-billion pound corporations managed to run successfully while every interaction was conducted entirely online for the best part of 2 years.

When 2 people communicate that regularly, it's a relationship, regardless of whether it's conducted online or offline. It's still a thing.

The thing that should be questioned is the true nature of the relationship and the intentions of the people in that relationship. That would be equally as true whether they had met in real life or not.

I'm sorry, we are not on the same wavelength here, misterical. I'm thinking that you really don't know where the lines are, which makes this post ironic because you are referring to corporations as an example and they are about business activities.

 

[ArcticKitty]

It also makes sense to me why she's so rude and blunt now. She feels she wasted a year trying to work towards her goal and it's pretty clear it's not gonna work out, because you finally starting noticing that her goal is different than yours, so she's trying to squeeze some last expensive gifts out of it.

I'm not saying what she did was okay or that the way she's talking to you right now isn't fucked up, but at the same time it's hard for me to judge her too harshly. And what would be the point anyway? The best thing you can do now OP, as been said many timed by many people in this thread before, is to just block her everywhere and move on.

I think you're right that much of her behaviour is understandable given that life is hard and her fish is slipping away from her. I also think that she is driven by a reactive disorder. I'm thinking of people who grew up in fucked up situations.

(And yes, I know that some people give what they think is "witty banter" but other people take as rude and offensive, and that this happens often with some Russians and foreigners.)

 

[AudriTwo]

george at this point, do what you want. you obviously enjoy and crave the attention from her. keep doing what you are doing.

or go to therapy. take all the energy and money you are spending on her and go work on bettering yourself.