Do some models genuinely enjoy private shows? What helps you reach that state?

[Anubis]

Hi everyone,


I’ve been curious about something for a long time, and I’d love to hear honest perspectives from experienced models.

I’m not asking about emotional attachment, relationships, or “falling for a member.”
I’m also not trying to create any kind of off-platform connection.

My question is strictly about the experience during a private show:

Does it happen that a model genuinely enjoys the show — mentally and physically — and not only treats it as work?
If yes, what usually makes that possible?

I know this job involves routines, limits, pressure, and emotional labor, so I’m not assuming that “real enjoyment” is common. I’m more interested in the conditions that make it possible.

For context, here’s how I typically approach private shows:

• I usually prefer longer sessions (around 20–40 minutes), because I like a natural pace and I’m never in a rush.
• I’m calm, respectful, and focused on the model’s comfort.
• I don’t give orders or push for extreme acts (anal, DP, degrading content, etc.).
• I don’t expect roleplay or emotional labor.
• I react to the model’s mood and rhythm, and I mostly give positive feedback.

In short, I’m not looking for a “porn performance,” but for a shared, authentic moment where both people feel relaxed and can genuinely enjoy themselves.


So I’m curious from a professional standpoint:

• What helps you get into a more natural, playful, or even genuinely pleasurable state?
• Is it mostly the member’s attitude?
• Your mood or energy level on that day?
• The pace and communication?
• Feeling safe and respected?
• Or something more individual and internal?

I’d really appreciate any insights. One thing I value about this forum is how honest and nuanced the discussions are, especially on topics that outsiders rarely understand.

Thanks in advance to anyone willing to share.

 

[Vixxen81]

I hope you ask if she wants to take breaks. 20 to 40 minutes is a long time for anyone to perform solo.

 

[Ivyhates_u]

Everything you listed makes any model happy. But like Vixxen said long privates tires us out a lot. And if models are refusing privates it is because their free chat is making them more money or they don't want leave the goal tippers hanging.

 

[ts_cammer98]

I've done privates that are more of a straight up porn performance, more of a bonding/connecting one on one personal chat and pretty much any style in between those extremes. I've genuinely enjoyed each of those styles/formats. The majority of my viewers have a good understanding of model to viewer relationship and are easy to form a real connection with as they do not think we are actually going to meet ect ect. I don't get as playful/flirty or ask open ended questions to my fans if they come off as someone that thinks I'm going to become their girlfriend or thinks I'll do things for free now because I enjoy it. But I do see myself as someone offering a premium masturbation service, like I'm your personal outlet for all things horny, and I genuinely like to see results and smiles from that. Sometimes that means a full balls to the wall performance that shows off how wild I can actually get (as far as I'm allowed anyway lol), and sometimes it means I get to help someone break away from a very plain vanilla sexlife they feel stuck in. I've challenged viewers to have certain conversations with their significant others ect as I loooove to help improve their sexlife. I personally love sex and porn and I hate how taboo it all is when just about everyone is into it! So I have a personal drive to normalize things and bring fetish out from the darkness. I feel most of the negative sides of sex and porn come from everyone's lack of understanding and unwillingness to talk about it out of fear of it being too weird or whatever.

I do tend to have higher quality private shows when the viewer in engaged and actually telling me what they want out of it. Plus if your a regular or show your willing to pay for what you get, I typically do get a little looser with things naturally. More challenging and larger dildos don't come out unless I'm in a long pvt so I'm warmed up lol I don't even advertise I have them in public, as sometimes I sit for an hour or two with no warm up, so the only dildos I even show off are my smaller ones.

But I enjoy giving good privates so much, I'll feel bad every once in a while if I get a request in a down moment when I'm fatigued from a slow hour or something as I know I'm certainly not in the most playful mood at that moment. Which that is one thing I really really want to work on at this moment as a model. If you catch me during a busy stream, I'm witty, flirty, playful and snappy with my responses. But if you catch me during a slow moment, I'll mindlessly "leave money on the table".

 

[MarieElise]

Hi everyone,


I’ve been curious about something for a long time, and I’d love to hear honest perspectives from experienced models.

I’m not asking about emotional attachment, relationships, or “falling for a member.”
I’m also not trying to create any kind of off-platform connection.

My question is strictly about the experience during a private show:

Does it happen that a model genuinely enjoys the show — mentally and physically — and not only treats it as work?
If yes, what usually makes that possible

Absolutely. All the time. I don't take shows with people I don't enjoy and I end them if I'm not genuinely having fun. That being said about 25- 50% of my shows I genuinely enjoy. And the others I am indifferent to, it's not that I'm really enjoying them but it's not that I'm having a bad time either. I'm just feeling kind of like blank about it. I don't end shows like that and I will take them repeatedly. Because they don't drain me and they don't make me uncomfortable, but they're not giving me a ton of pleasure or giving me a genuine Rush. Not everybody even cares about that though. Plenty of viewers don't give a s*** if you're getting off at all.

I know this job involves routines, limits, pressure, and emotional labor, so I’m not assuming that “real enjoyment” is common. I’m more interested in the conditions that make it possible

I can't speak for anyone else but I've always had a very high sex drive. I really enjoy showing off my body. I think the type of person you are, and the beliefs that you have about sex play into it a lot. How comfortable you are with yourself. How you feel about religion and sex and all of those topics. Lots of people deep down don't feel like what they are doing is a good thing. And I think in the long run that destroys those type of people, and they probably shouldn't get into the business, if they feel that way. Because it can be very mentally destructive in that case. I do not have a single moral problem with what I do. I don't think anything I do is bad or evil, at least in the context of what I do and get paid for.

For context, here’s how I typically approach private shows:

• I usually prefer longer sessions (around 20–40 minutes), because I like a natural pace and I’m never in a rush.
• I’m calm, respectful, and focused on the model’s comfort.
• I don’t give orders or push for extreme acts (anal, DP, degrading content, etc.).
• I don’t expect roleplay or emotional labor.
• I react to the model’s mood and rhythm, and I mostly give positive feedback.

In short, I’m not looking for a “porn performance,” but for a shared, authentic moment where both people feel relaxed and can genuinely enjoy themselves.

I agree with you on a lot of that although role-play can be fun as well. I've had some genuinely awesome times and completely imaginary roleplay situations. The important part for me is that there is a line of delineation. A lot of people get so into role play that they cannot just be normal at the beginning, and be a normal person. You have to be able to go in and out of it, at will for it to be sexy (to me). If people can't make of clear delineation, it gets to be really weird. Ie they need to be able to turn it on and off ( like I can) or it's a huge turn off for me.

So I’m curious from a professional standpoint:

• What helps you get into a more natural, playful, or even genuinely pleasurable state?

A man who is humble, honest, amd genuine. I tend to be more comfortable with men who are already in a relationship. So a lot of times, when they share that with me right off the bat, that actually makes me more comfortable with them.

Because I know that men in relationships, are less likely to develop unhealthy attachments. And it is just a strictly sexual thing. However I do want to point out, that I do have feelings and emotional connections to some of my clients. The problem that a lot of people have, is that they are not monogamous romantic you and only you connections. I don't have deep connections with everyone, but there are a few that I do. And those are real, those are not acted or fake. I've cried real tears (privately) over these people, when they are struggling, and I'm aware of it The problem that a lot of people have an understanding that, is a lot of people are not polyamorous, so they don't understand how a person could have more than one connection, like that, at a time. That was a huge oversimplification though. You can have different types of feelings with people you are having cyber sexual interactions with that are also not romantic. But are still feelings and emotional connections.

On the other side of things I don't want to sound like a spoiled brat, but I get compliments all day about my looks. And some guys lay it on really thick. That tends to turn me off, and work in reverse. I know my looks are good, that's why I chose this as a career, when I already have education to do something else! So it's nice to hear the odd compliment, but to constantly hear someone giving you like five in a row, just feels really disingenuous to me. And will actually turn me off, rather than make me feel happy, or good.

I've also noticed that a lot of the pickup (wannabe) artists do that when they have no intention of spending money. They think they can come in, and tell me five good things in a row about the way that I look or my physical appearance. They don't know f*** about me. I'm a complete b**** sometimes and I know that. I know I'm not an angel or a perfect person. So hearing a bunch of s*** from someone right off the bat, that I don't know, immediately puts me on the defensive and immediately makes me feel uncomfortable. Because I know there are d******* like Andrew Tate that give people advice on how to manipulate women, and how to be wannabe pick up artists lap that moron shit up.

• Is it mostly the member’s attitude?

Yes I would say that this plays into it a lot. I go off of their lead. A lot of what I do is reflect back what they are giving me. Then at a certain point I feel comfortable, where I will be myself, because they have created that space for me to be genuine and comfortable. By being that way themselves. And not having weird Hang-Ups or ego stuff going on.

• Your mood or energy level on that day?

This does affect things. I often refuse shows with people when I am in a lower energy place or if I've already had a lot of really good shows that day. Maybe I'm privileged to be able to do that. But I will not give a show, if I'm too tired to give a good one. Really don't think it is privileged though. Because I will give low effort shows when I am tired. There are lots of fetish shows that my level of energy has nothing to do with how good of a Time the other person has. However if it's a genuine orgasm show or something my level of energy absolutely will affect the other person's enjoyment. So I won't give shows like that when I'm low energy. I tell people all the time that I'm not in the mood for a certain thing, but maybe to check me another night that week. There are certain fetishes also that I'm sometimes just not in the mood for. But then a different night that same week I'm open to doing a show of that thing. And that right there is a big piece of why I genuinely enjoy my job and I genuinely enjoy my shows. Because I'm able to set those boundaries and be honest about how I'm feeling, and what I want. If you can't do that in this job, you are going to get really tired and really burned out.

• The pace and communication?
• Feeling safe and respected?
• Or something more individual and internall?

I would say both of those things are important that you listed above. I would also say that when a man expresses true vulnerability with me, I tend to feel more relaxed with him.

Like a lot of guys come to my room and are very cocky even from their screen name, they are very cocky. Instead of screaming confidence to me, that actually screams weakness. So when a guy comes in and tells me he's nervous, or that he really cares a lot about my opinion if he wants a cock rate, that makes a big difference to me.

Rather than some guy that's acting like he thinks he's great and he is super confident, when in reality he's probably not.

I’d really appreciate any insights. One thing I value about this forum is how honest and nuanced the discussions are, especially on topics that outsiders rarely understand.

Thanks in advance to anyone willing to share.

Absolutely .

 

[cbhours]

For context, here’s how I typically approach private shows

You have 'I’m Not Like Other Guys' syndrome. Luckily we found it early, but I'm going to have to prescribe you 50ccs of self-awareness and strict bed rest from the keyboard until the swelling of your ego goes down.

Edit: oh I thought this was the ask a doctor forum, sorry!

 

[Anubis]

Absolutely. All the time. I don't take shows with people I don't enjoy and I end them if I'm not genuinely having fun. That being said about 25- 50% of my shows I genuinely enjoy. And the others I am indifferent to, it's not that I'm really enjoying them but it's not that I'm having a bad time either. I'm just feeling kind of like blank about it. I don't end shows like that and I will take them repeatedly. Because they don't drain me and they don't make me uncomfortable, but they're not giving me a ton of pleasure or giving me a genuine Rush. Not everybody even cares about that though. Plenty of viewers don't give a s*** if you're getting off at all.


I can't speak for anyone else but I've always had a very high sex drive. I really enjoy showing off my body. I think the type of person you are, and the beliefs that you have about sex play into it a lot. How comfortable you are with yourself. How you feel about religion and sex and all of those topics. Lots of people deep down don't feel like what they are doing is a good thing. And I think in the long run that destroys those type of people, and they probably shouldn't get into the business, if they feel that way. Because it can be very mentally destructive in that case. I do not have a single moral problem with what I do. I don't think anything I do is bad or evil, at least in the context of what I do and get paid for.

I agree with you on a lot of that although role-play can be fun as well. I've had some genuinely awesome times and completely imaginary roleplay situations. The important part for me is that there is a line of delineation. A lot of people get so into role play that they cannot just be normal at the beginning, and be a normal person. You have to be able to go in and out of it, at will for it to be sexy (to me). If people can't make of clear delineation, it gets to be really weird. Ie they need to be able to turn it on and off ( like I can) or it's a huge turn off for me.

A man who is humble, honest, amd genuine. I tend to be more comfortable with men who are already in a relationship. So a lot of times, when they share that with me right off the bat, that actually makes me more comfortable with them.

Because I know that men in relationships, are less likely to develop unhealthy attachments. And it is just a strictly sexual thing. However I do want to point out, that I do have feelings and emotional connections to some of my clients. The problem that a lot of people have, is that they are not monogamous romantic you and only you connections. I don't have deep connections with everyone, but there are a few that I do. And those are real, those are not acted or fake. I've cried real tears (privately) over these people, when they are struggling, and I'm aware of it The problem that a lot of people have an understanding that, is a lot of people are not polyamorous, so they don't understand how a person could have more than one connection, like that, at a time. That was a huge oversimplification though. You can have different types of feelings with people you are having cyber sexual interactions with that are also not romantic. But are still feelings and emotional connections.

On the other side of things I don't want to sound like a spoiled brat, but I get compliments all day about my looks. And some guys lay it on really thick. That tends to turn me off, and work in reverse. I know my looks are good, that's why I chose this as a career, when I already have education to do something else! So it's nice to hear the odd compliment, but to constantly hear someone giving you like five in a row, just feels really disingenuous to me. And will actually turn me off, rather than make me feel happy, or good.

I've also noticed that a lot of the pickup (wannabe) artists do that when they have no intention of spending money. They think they can come in, and tell me five good things in a row about the way that I look or my physical appearance. They don't know f*** about me. I'm a complete b**** sometimes and I know that. I know I'm not an angel or a perfect person. So hearing a bunch of s*** from someone right off the bat, that I don't know, immediately puts me on the defensive and immediately makes me feel uncomfortable. Because I know there are d******* like Andrew Tate that give people advice on how to manipulate women, and how to be wannabe pick up artists lap that moron shit up.

Yes I would say that this plays into it a lot. I go off of their lead. A lot of what I do is reflect back what they are giving me. Then at a certain point I feel comfortable, where I will be myself, because they have created that space for me to be genuine and comfortable. By being that way themselves. And not having weird Hang-Ups or ego stuff going on.

This does affect things. I often refuse shows with people when I am in a lower energy place or if I've already had a lot of really good shows that day. Maybe I'm privileged to be able to do that. But I will not give a show, if I'm too tired to give a good one. Really don't think it is privileged though. Because I will give low effort shows when I am tired. There are lots of fetish shows that my level of energy has nothing to do with how good of a Time the other person has. However if it's a genuine orgasm show or something my level of energy absolutely will affect the other person's enjoyment. So I won't give shows like that when I'm low energy. I tell people all the time that I'm not in the mood for a certain thing, but maybe to check me another night that week. There are certain fetishes also that I'm sometimes just not in the mood for. But then a different night that same week I'm open to doing a show of that thing. And that right there is a big piece of why I genuinely enjoy my job and I genuinely enjoy my shows. Because I'm able to set those boundaries and be honest about how I'm feeling, and what I want. If you can't do that in this job, you are going to get really tired and really burned out.

I would say both of those things are important that you listed above. I would also say that when a man expresses true vulnerability with me, I tend to feel more relaxed with him.

Like a lot of guys come to my room and are very cocky even from their screen name, they are very cocky. Instead of screaming confidence to me, that actually screams weakness. So when a guy comes in and tells me he's nervous, or that he really cares a lot about my opinion if he wants a cock rate, that makes a big difference to me.

Rather than some guy that's acting like he thinks he's great and he is super confident, when in reality he's probably not.

Absolutely .

Thank you for taking the time to write such a detailed reply — it’s extremely insightful.
A few things you mentioned really stood out to me, especially how much the viewer’s energy, authenticity, and pacing shape your comfort level. It makes complete sense that too many forced compliments, PUA-style confidence, or rushed intentions would break the vibe, while calm, grounded interaction makes it easier for you to relax.

Your points about energy levels, boundaries, and the need for a natural rhythm were especially helpful for understanding how longer shows can actually become enjoyable for both sides.
Really appreciate you sharing this — it clarified a lot.

 

[Anubis]

I hope you ask if she wants to take breaks. 20 to 40 minutes is a long time for anyone to perform solo.

That’s a good point.
I usually tell the model before the show roughly how long I’m planning to stay, but I’ve never had anyone ask for a break so far.
Do you think it’s something I should proactively offer at the start of the session?

 

[Anubis]

I've done privates that are more of a straight up porn performance, more of a bonding/connecting one on one personal chat and pretty much any style in between those extremes. I've genuinely enjoyed each of those styles/formats. The majority of my viewers have a good understanding of model to viewer relationship and are easy to form a real connection with as they do not think we are actually going to meet ect ect. I don't get as playful/flirty or ask open ended questions to my fans if they come off as someone that thinks I'm going to become their girlfriend or thinks I'll do things for free now because I enjoy it. But I do see myself as someone offering a premium masturbation service, like I'm your personal outlet for all things horny, and I genuinely like to see results and smiles from that. Sometimes that means a full balls to the wall performance that shows off how wild I can actually get (as far as I'm allowed anyway lol), and sometimes it means I get to help someone break away from a very plain vanilla sexlife they feel stuck in. I've challenged viewers to have certain conversations with their significant others ect as I loooove to help improve their sexlife. I personally love sex and porn and I hate how taboo it all is when just about everyone is into it! So I have a personal drive to normalize things and bring fetish out from the darkness. I feel most of the negative sides of sex and porn come from everyone's lack of understanding and unwillingness to talk about it out of fear of it being too weird or whatever.

I do tend to have higher quality private shows when the viewer in engaged and actually telling me what they want out of it. Plus if your a regular or show your willing to pay for what you get, I typically do get a little looser with things naturally. More challenging and larger dildos don't come out unless I'm in a long pvt so I'm warmed up lol I don't even advertise I have them in public, as sometimes I sit for an hour or two with no warm up, so the only dildos I even show off are my smaller ones.

But I enjoy giving good privates so much, I'll feel bad every once in a while if I get a request in a down moment when I'm fatigued from a slow hour or something as I know I'm certainly not in the most playful mood at that moment. Which that is one thing I really really want to work on at this moment as a model. If you catch me during a busy stream, I'm witty, flirty, playful and snappy with my responses. But if you catch me during a slow moment, I'll mindlessly "leave money on the table".

Really interesting to read how you switch between different styles depending on the viewer’s energy and your own momentum during the stream.
Also appreciated the point about how mood and warm-up time affect what you’re open to.
Thanks for sharing your side of it. It gives a clearer sense of what actually helps a show flow on your end.

 

[Anubis]

Everything you listed makes any model happy. But like Vixxen said long privates tires us out a lot. And if models are refusing privates it is because their free chat is making them more money or they don't want leave the goal tippers hanging.

That makes sense, especially the part about free chat sometimes being more profitable.
Thanks for pointing it out.

 

[Vixxen81]

That’s a good point.
I usually tell the model before the show roughly how long I’m planning to stay, but I’ve never had anyone ask for a break so far.
Do you think it’s something I should proactively offer at the start of the session?

Sure, just a quick "if you need a break let me know." Of course, I say this knowing the person I do long privates with will stick around and wait for me.

 

[BlueEyezIrish]

Hi everyone,


I’ve been curious about something for a long time, and I’d love to hear honest perspectives from experienced models.

I’m not asking about emotional attachment, relationships, or “falling for a member.”
I’m also not trying to create any kind of off-platform connection.

My question is strictly about the experience during a private show:

Does it happen that a model genuinely enjoys the show — mentally and physically — and not only treats it as work?
If yes, what usually makes that possible?

I know this job involves routines, limits, pressure, and emotional labor, so I’m not assuming that “real enjoyment” is common. I’m more interested in the conditions that make it possible.

For context, here’s how I typically approach private shows:

• I usually prefer longer sessions (around 20–40 minutes), because I like a natural pace and I’m never in a rush.
• I’m calm, respectful, and focused on the model’s comfort.
• I don’t give orders or push for extreme acts (anal, DP, degrading content, etc.).
• I don’t expect roleplay or emotional labor.
• I react to the model’s mood and rhythm, and I mostly give positive feedback.

In short, I’m not looking for a “porn performance,” but for a shared, authentic moment where both people feel relaxed and can genuinely enjoy themselves.


So I’m curious from a professional standpoint:

• What helps you get into a more natural, playful, or even genuinely pleasurable state?
• Is it mostly the member’s attitude?
• Your mood or energy level on that day?
• The pace and communication?
• Feeling safe and respected?
• Or something more individual and internal?

I’d really appreciate any insights. One thing I value about this forum is how honest and nuanced the discussions are, especially on topics that outsiders rarely understand.

Thanks in advance to anyone willing to share.

I love a long show but I kinda wanna fall asleep after 5 min cause they can get really boring and men with bug eyes and they say baby over and over again put me to sleep. Have to just keep thinking about the money after 5 minutes and deal with it. Muting the men helps me a lot and not watching them jerk helps me even more. I enjoy the first min I can tell immediately if a dude is chill or a prick.

 

[Marceline]

I haven't done any one on one privates in a long time, since I focus primarily on clips and custom content, so you can take what I say with a grain of salt. However, my answers would be the same now if I was doing privates as when I did actually live stream.

Does it happen that a model genuinely enjoys the show — mentally and physically — and not only treats it as work?

There was shows that I genuinely enjoyed doing. However, no matter how much I enjoyed it, it was still work. I could be having a blast, but if I stopped getting paid I wouldn't continue.

It's like with any job. You can really love your job, but it doesn't mean you are willing to do it for free. So ultimately, you're still treating it a work.

• What helps you get into a more natural, playful, or even genuinely pleasurable state?
• Is it mostly the member’s attitude?
• Your mood or energy level on that day?
• The pace and communication?
• Feeling safe and respected?
• Or something more individual and internal?

1. Perhaps something most members won't want to hear, but money. Money makes me get into an instantly better state, whether it be more natural, playful, pleasurable, etc. I'm the type of person who worries constantly about money and bills, so if I had a member making it rain and I knew what he was paying is going to cover some of my bills, it'd make me less stressed and more fun and relaxed.
2. The member's attitude definitely matters as well. If a member was dropping hundreds or thousands on me, but he was being a dominating, rude or entitled asshole, I wouldn't enjoy doing shows with him.
3. Mood/energy also matters. Sometimes you just have those days where you're in a funk and not much will snap you out of it. But for me, refer to answer 1. If I'm in a pissy mood, money is just about the only thing that will kinda snap me out of it.
4. Pace and communication does matter. I don't like to feel rushed, and I also want to know exactly what the member wants. You're paying money, I'm doing a job, so let's both respect that. I don't want to play the guessing game because a member won't tell me what he wants and then he gets a subpar show and feels like he wasted money. I also don't want to jump straight into an intense show that's only going to last for two minutes.

In the end, even though for me, money is the biggest factor in my happiness with just about any job, I could enjoy and have enjoyed hanging with members who didn't tip a ton or get super long private shows. But, it was still a job for me.

 

[ElGato]

I could be having a blast, but if I stopped getting paid I wouldn't continue.

Absolutely this. There's been times I've had an absolute blast at work, but if I was not getting paid, I would not have been there.

 

[Marceline]

Absolutely this. There's been times I've had an absolute blast at work, but if I was not getting paid, I would not have been there.

Exactly. For example, I've been transitioning out of adult work and had gotten a bartending job. I liked the day to day of that job for the most part, and the customers were all nice. I could have had a day where I had nice customers who were fun to talk to and enjoyed myself, but at the end of the shift if I didn't make a decent amount of money I would've been like "well, that shift was a dud" and wished I had called in that day.

I know some people get upset when people in customer service (and ultimately, adult work is kinda technically a customer service type job) say that they're there for the money, but aren't we all at our jobs for the money? It doesn't mean that we hate the customers, or members in this case, or don't enjoy interacting with them. It's just for most people, no matter how much fun you're having at your job there's still something outside of work you would rather be doing.

 

[MarieElise]

Re; break & long shows.

I find long shows w new guys really threatening. Not sure why. Just my personality. So a new guy wanting a long show with me would be a situation where offered breaks, would be a great idea. But if it's bad enough I'm gonna force a break either way. However a guy offering them would put me more at ease.

That anxious feeling goes away afters the 3rd or 4th (long) show with the same person though, and I stop needing them.

With new people you just dnt know if they are going to be decent, or if the whole time is going to feel like a complete nightmare. Of course when I'm on MFC I just don't let new guys get more than 20 mins until I know them. I have a 2 hour option on there, but it's not open to anyone and everyone. 2 hours can be a very very long time, and there are a lot of entitled guys with crazy expectations out there.

There are guys in 'altered' states of mind who get beyond annoying too, and 5 mins with them can be a nightmare NVM two whole hours. Offering breaks shows thoughtfulness and is never a bad thing.

People who get mad we wouldn't do it for free, even if we are having genuine fun, are fucking morons. The biggest commodity a self employed person has is their time. They should go try doing it for free if they feel that so strongly. Then they'd zip it

 

[Vixxen81]

I find long shows w new guys really threatening. Not sure why. Just my personality.

I was kind of hanging back to let other people answer for once without getting into my psychology about it all -- but a guy I've never seen before who wants a really long private with no idea what he likes or doesn't like and he doesn't know what I like or don't like really sets me on edge and makes me want to log off. Yeah I really could use that extra money in the token pot but is it worth being wildly uncomfortable that my skin starts to vibrate? No.

And I think it's nice he's even asking, most guys really don't seem to give a rat's ass hair what we think about anything we have to do and are all " YEAH I TOTALLY WOULD FUCK MY ASS FOR FIVE HOURS FOR $5!" The hell they would if it came down to brass tacks.

 

[MarieElise]

I was kind of hanging back to let other people answer for once without getting into my psychology about it all -- but a guy I've never seen before who wants a really long private with no idea what he likes or doesn't like and he doesn't know what I like or don't like really sets me on edge and makes me want to log off. Yeah I really could use that extra money in the token pot but is it worth being wildly uncomfortable that my skin starts to vibrate? No.

Right?! Thanks for putting it into words. Yes. And given the high rate that these guys make assumptions, and expect crazy things without getting to know you, reading or asking questions first, it's extremely off-putting and awkward.

And I think it's nice he's even asking, most guys really don't seem to give a rat's ass hair what we think about anything we have to do and are all " YEAH I TOTALLY WOULD FUCK MY ASS FOR FIVE HOURS FOR $5!" The hell they would if it came down to brass tacks.

Exactly.

I've learned that about 50% or more of the new guys I meet assume I'm a survival sex worker, and they are more than willing to exploit that perception to the complete max.

There's nothing wrong with being a survival sex worker, and at one point, I was (roughly). But they assume I'm so desperate for money I'll say yes to anything. So when I start saying "No, I don't offer anal", "No raceplay is against the rules, and it's not something I want to do", "No I don't offer deep throating of toys, I never have", "No spit play freaks me out, off the menu entirely with me", "No I don't do any kind of diaper play, that's way past anything I can relate to" it's like they go into shock, and can't imagine what people pay, me for.

The reality is that they are such shitty, stupid people (about 50%) that they can't understand that decent guys exist, who don't need to destroy women's bodies & minds to bust a nut. I mean, it's disappointing that there is so much pure scum out there. However it just makes the considerate guys shine brighter, in comparison. But, yes, it absolutely burst my idealistic bubble about the human race in general, to see that not only do so many men assume I'm desperate for money for anything, but that they are more than willing to take full advantage of that. I'm sorry, but people like that are just pure scum of the Earth. And there are more out there than I ever would have dreamed.

I mean just look at that SC room where they are beating women, and all that happens is it starts up on another account. You know why? Because there's such a wide audience for that, such a large number of people who have no qualms whatsoever supporting that kind of stuff. Disgusting. Sickening. Repulsive.

 

[Vixxen81]

There's nothing wrong with being a survival sex worker, and at one point, I was (roughly). But they assume I'm so desperate for money I'll say yes to anything. So when I start saying "No,

That no thing really seems to hit them straight up hard with a hammer to the skull. I find it both disgusting and fascinating. I would never ask a man to jerk off for an hour because I couldn't get off within that hour. And I kind of think that's what long privates signify -- this dude is going to be really hard to get off and I'm just not sure if it's worth it for me if I don't get some kind of reprieve that I can relax and just show my body off instead of DOING something to it. I don't know if that makes sense at all.

 

[MarieElise]

. I don't know if that makes sense at all.

That makes total sense

 

[Vixxen81]

That makes total sense

It's why I'm so selective about privates. I suppose if I had no self-worth at all, I would do whatever. It doesn't work like that. I've adapted more viewers to me than viewers have adapted me to them.

 

[ts_cammer98]

It's why I'm so selective about privates. I suppose if I had no self-worth at all, I would do whatever. It doesn't work like that. I've adapted more viewers to me than viewers have adapted me to them.

I think this makes pvts better. Your always in your "home space", and more natural when speaking ect ect.

 

[Vixxen81]

roughneck_nd
(0) What’s your longest dildo? You wanna test the limits of that gag reflex in private?

 

[rawstrawberry]

I don't have many experiences with privates as I'm still at the start of my camming journey, but thought I would try and share my side. Also, I think that everyone here already wrote so many good points!

When it comes to not treating it as work, there will always be part of me that treats it as work, because it is my work. I have to make sure I do everything right.

But how my customer treats me during private definitely has an effect on if I'm going to be more focused on just doing my job or if I'm going to be really enjoying myself as well. Mostly just being respectful, nice towards me, making sure I'm comfortable, is something I always appreciate. I also prefer it, when they know what they would like me to do, so I don't have to guess and hope they have a good time. Then I have something to start with and can play with the ideas, suggest some things and such, which makes the private flow really nicely.

What I think is also something that helps me enjoy myself is when I not only know that the customer is enjoying the time with me, but makes sure to sometimes check on me. If what I'm doing feels good, if I'm having fun, and just when I know that he cares about me enjoying myself as well. I of course don't expect this, at the end of the day, I'm getting payed to make the customer feel good, but it is always a plus

Personally I prefer longer privates, as I don't feel rushed, have time to relax more and can focus on doing my best. Knowing how long the private will be beforehand is also nice, makes it easier to do the pacing of it right (so I don't get to a point where suddenly the customer wants me to cum in like 1 minute or just more stressful situations like this).

And yeah, of course there will be some days that are harder, where I feel really tired and not too much in the mood, I'm still a human. But if the customer makes me feel respected, not rushed and is nice, I will always have a great time during privates.

Last thing, what I always really appreciate is the customer leaving a positive review / thumbs up, which not only lets me know they liked the private but it also helps me as a creator when others can see the positive feedback. Support like that means a lot and always makes me so happy!

 

[Ivyhates_u]

roughneck_nd
(0) What’s your longest dildo? You wanna test the limits of that gag reflex in private?

Urgh. I am switch more on body than mind but those dudes drive me nutsss. When I am just w the machine and not the strap on "did you cum bb?" No you idiot, did you pay me to cum??

 

[prizenka]

Re; break & long shows.

I find long shows w new guys really threatening. Not sure why. Just my personality. So a new guy wanting a long show with me would be a situation where offered breaks, would be a great idea. But if it's bad enough I'm gonna force a break either way. However a guy offering them would put me more at ease.

That anxious feeling goes away afters the 3rd or 4th (long) show with the same person though, and I stop needing them.

With new people you just dnt know if they are going to be decent, or if the whole time is going to feel like a complete nightmare. Of course when I'm on MFC I just don't let new guys get more than 20 mins until I know them. I have a 2 hour option on there, but it's not open to anyone and everyone. 2 hours can be a very very long time, and there are a lot of entitled guys with crazy expectations out there.

There are guys in 'altered' states of mind who get beyond annoying too, and 5 mins with them can be a nightmare NVM two whole hours. Offering breaks shows thoughtfulness and is never a bad thing.

People who get mad we wouldn't do it for free, even if we are having genuine fun, are fucking morons. The biggest commodity a self employed person has is their time. They should go try doing it for free if they feel that so strongly. Then they'd zip it

I only do pvt, but if a client wants to do acrobatic things, after 20 minutes I will say in advance that I am turning off pvt and that I am tired, and I am not solving anything. But I can say that I have clients who accept that. I am not a robot.

 

[Anubis]

I haven't done any one on one privates in a long time, since I focus primarily on clips and custom content, so you can take what I say with a grain of salt. However, my answers would be the same now if I was doing privates as when I did actually live stream.



There was shows that I genuinely enjoyed doing. However, no matter how much I enjoyed it, it was still work. I could be having a blast, but if I stopped getting paid I wouldn't continue.

It's like with any job. You can really love your job, but it doesn't mean you are willing to do it for free. So ultimately, you're still treating it a work.



1. Perhaps something most members won't want to hear, but money. Money makes me get into an instantly better state, whether it be more natural, playful, pleasurable, etc. I'm the type of person who worries constantly about money and bills, so if I had a member making it rain and I knew what he was paying is going to cover some of my bills, it'd make me less stressed and more fun and relaxed.
2. The member's attitude definitely matters as well. If a member was dropping hundreds or thousands on me, but he was being a dominating, rude or entitled asshole, I wouldn't enjoy doing shows with him.
3. Mood/energy also matters. Sometimes you just have those days where you're in a funk and not much will snap you out of it. But for me, refer to answer 1. If I'm in a pissy mood, money is just about the only thing that will kinda snap me out of it.
4. Pace and communication does matter. I don't like to feel rushed, and I also want to know exactly what the member wants. You're paying money, I'm doing a job, so let's both respect that. I don't want to play the guessing game because a member won't tell me what he wants and then he gets a subpar show and feels like he wasted money. I also don't want to jump straight into an intense show that's only going to last for two minutes.

In the end, even though for me, money is the biggest factor in my happiness with just about any job, I could enjoy and have enjoyed hanging with members who didn't tip a ton or get super long private shows. But, it was still a job for me.

Thanks for the honest breakdown. It’s helpful to hear the more practical side of it too.
What you said about money, pacing, and not having to guess what the viewer wants makes total sense.
Appreciate you sharing your perspective.

 

[Anubis]

Re; break & long shows.

I find long shows w new guys really threatening. Not sure why. Just my personality. So a new guy wanting a long show with me would be a situation where offered breaks, would be a great idea. But if it's bad enough I'm gonna force a break either way. However a guy offering them would put me more at ease.

That anxious feeling goes away afters the 3rd or 4th (long) show with the same person though, and I stop needing them.

With new people you just dnt know if they are going to be decent, or if the whole time is going to feel like a complete nightmare. Of course when I'm on MFC I just don't let new guys get more than 20 mins until I know them. I have a 2 hour option on there, but it's not open to anyone and everyone. 2 hours can be a very very long time, and there are a lot of entitled guys with crazy expectations out there.

There are guys in 'altered' states of mind who get beyond annoying too, and 5 mins with them can be a nightmare NVM two whole hours. Offering breaks shows thoughtfulness and is never a bad thing.

People who get mad we wouldn't do it for free, even if we are having genuine fun, are fucking morons. The biggest commodity a self employed person has is their time. They should go try doing it for free if they feel that so strongly. Then they'd zip it

That’s really good to know. Especially the part about long shows feeling safer once there's some familiarity.
Offering breaks sounds like a simple way to make things easier for new partners, so I’ll keep that in mind.

 

[Anubis]

I don't have many experiences with privates as I'm still at the start of my camming journey, but thought I would try and share my side. Also, I think that everyone here already wrote so many good points!

When it comes to not treating it as work, there will always be part of me that treats it as work, because it is my work. I have to make sure I do everything right.

But how my customer treats me during private definitely has an effect on if I'm going to be more focused on just doing my job or if I'm going to be really enjoying myself as well. Mostly just being respectful, nice towards me, making sure I'm comfortable, is something I always appreciate. I also prefer it, when they know what they would like me to do, so I don't have to guess and hope they have a good time. Then I have something to start with and can play with the ideas, suggest some things and such, which makes the private flow really nicely.

What I think is also something that helps me enjoy myself is when I not only know that the customer is enjoying the time with me, but makes sure to sometimes check on me. If what I'm doing feels good, if I'm having fun, and just when I know that he cares about me enjoying myself as well. I of course don't expect this, at the end of the day, I'm getting payed to make the customer feel good, but it is always a plus

Personally I prefer longer privates, as I don't feel rushed, have time to relax more and can focus on doing my best. Knowing how long the private will be beforehand is also nice, makes it easier to do the pacing of it right (so I don't get to a point where suddenly the customer wants me to cum in like 1 minute or just more stressful situations like this).

And yeah, of course there will be some days that are harder, where I feel really tired and not too much in the mood, I'm still a human. But if the customer makes me feel respected, not rushed and is nice, I will always have a great time during privates.

Last thing, what I always really appreciate is the customer leaving a positive review / thumbs up, which not only lets me know they liked the private but it also helps me as a creator when others can see the positive feedback. Support like that means a lot and always makes me so happy!

Thanks a lot for taking the time to share your perspective. It’s really helpful to hear it from someone who’s newer to privates too.
What you said about pacing, clarity, and just feeling respected lines up with what many others mentioned as well, so it’s great to see that consistency.

 

[misterical]

You have 'I’m Not Like Other Guys' syndrome. Luckily we found it early, but I'm going to have to prescribe you 50ccs of self-awareness and strict bed rest from the keyboard until the swelling of your ego goes down.

Edit: oh I thought this was the ask a doctor forum, sorry!

I spotted that too. I must be a doctor like you. It's like guys who have usernames like "NiceGuyDave". Sorry Dave, but being a nice person should be the default mode.