Do some models genuinely enjoy private shows? What helps you reach that state?

[Anubis]

Hi everyone,


I’ve been curious about something for a long time, and I’d love to hear honest perspectives from experienced models.

I’m not asking about emotional attachment, relationships, or “falling for a member.”
I’m also not trying to create any kind of off-platform connection.

My question is strictly about the experience during a private show:

Does it happen that a model genuinely enjoys the show — mentally and physically — and not only treats it as work?
If yes, what usually makes that possible?

I know this job involves routines, limits, pressure, and emotional labor, so I’m not assuming that “real enjoyment” is common. I’m more interested in the conditions that make it possible.

For context, here’s how I typically approach private shows:

• I usually prefer longer sessions (around 20–40 minutes), because I like a natural pace and I’m never in a rush.
• I’m calm, respectful, and focused on the model’s comfort.
• I don’t give orders or push for extreme acts (anal, DP, degrading content, etc.).
• I don’t expect roleplay or emotional labor.
• I react to the model’s mood and rhythm, and I mostly give positive feedback.

In short, I’m not looking for a “porn performance,” but for a shared, authentic moment where both people feel relaxed and can genuinely enjoy themselves.


So I’m curious from a professional standpoint:

• What helps you get into a more natural, playful, or even genuinely pleasurable state?
• Is it mostly the member’s attitude?
• Your mood or energy level on that day?
• The pace and communication?
• Feeling safe and respected?
• Or something more individual and internal?

I’d really appreciate any insights. One thing I value about this forum is how honest and nuanced the discussions are, especially on topics that outsiders rarely understand.

Thanks in advance to anyone willing to share.

 

[Vixxen81]

I hope you ask if she wants to take breaks. 20 to 40 minutes is a long time for anyone to perform solo.

 

[Ivyhates_u]

Everything you listed makes any model happy. But like Vixxen said long privates tires us out a lot. And if models are refusing privates it is because their free chat is making them more money or they don't want leave the goal tippers hanging.

 

[ts_cammer98]

I've done privates that are more of a straight up porn performance, more of a bonding/connecting one on one personal chat and pretty much any style in between those extremes. I've genuinely enjoyed each of those styles/formats. The majority of my viewers have a good understanding of model to viewer relationship and are easy to form a real connection with as they do not think we are actually going to meet ect ect. I don't get as playful/flirty or ask open ended questions to my fans if they come off as someone that thinks I'm going to become their girlfriend or thinks I'll do things for free now because I enjoy it. But I do see myself as someone offering a premium masturbation service, like I'm your personal outlet for all things horny, and I genuinely like to see results and smiles from that. Sometimes that means a full balls to the wall performance that shows off how wild I can actually get (as far as I'm allowed anyway lol), and sometimes it means I get to help someone break away from a very plain vanilla sexlife they feel stuck in. I've challenged viewers to have certain conversations with their significant others ect as I loooove to help improve their sexlife. I personally love sex and porn and I hate how taboo it all is when just about everyone is into it! So I have a personal drive to normalize things and bring fetish out from the darkness. I feel most of the negative sides of sex and porn come from everyone's lack of understanding and unwillingness to talk about it out of fear of it being too weird or whatever.

I do tend to have higher quality private shows when the viewer in engaged and actually telling me what they want out of it. Plus if your a regular or show your willing to pay for what you get, I typically do get a little looser with things naturally. More challenging and larger dildos don't come out unless I'm in a long pvt so I'm warmed up lol I don't even advertise I have them in public, as sometimes I sit for an hour or two with no warm up, so the only dildos I even show off are my smaller ones.

But I enjoy giving good privates so much, I'll feel bad every once in a while if I get a request in a down moment when I'm fatigued from a slow hour or something as I know I'm certainly not in the most playful mood at that moment. Which that is one thing I really really want to work on at this moment as a model. If you catch me during a busy stream, I'm witty, flirty, playful and snappy with my responses. But if you catch me during a slow moment, I'll mindlessly "leave money on the table".

 

[MarieElise]

Hi everyone,


I’ve been curious about something for a long time, and I’d love to hear honest perspectives from experienced models.

I’m not asking about emotional attachment, relationships, or “falling for a member.”
I’m also not trying to create any kind of off-platform connection.

My question is strictly about the experience during a private show:

Does it happen that a model genuinely enjoys the show — mentally and physically — and not only treats it as work?
If yes, what usually makes that possible

Absolutely. All the time. I don't take shows with people I don't enjoy and I end them if I'm not genuinely having fun. That being said about 25- 50% of my shows I genuinely enjoy. And the others I am indifferent to, it's not that I'm really enjoying them but it's not that I'm having a bad time either. I'm just feeling kind of like blank about it. I don't end shows like that and I will take them repeatedly. Because they don't drain me and they don't make me uncomfortable, but they're not giving me a ton of pleasure or giving me a genuine Rush. Not everybody even cares about that though. Plenty of viewers don't give a s*** if you're getting off at all.

I know this job involves routines, limits, pressure, and emotional labor, so I’m not assuming that “real enjoyment” is common. I’m more interested in the conditions that make it possible

I can't speak for anyone else but I've always had a very high sex drive. I really enjoy showing off my body. I think the type of person you are, and the beliefs that you have about sex play into it a lot. How comfortable you are with yourself. How you feel about religion and sex and all of those topics. Lots of people deep down don't feel like what they are doing is a good thing. And I think in the long run that destroys those type of people, and they probably shouldn't get into the business, if they feel that way. Because it can be very mentally destructive in that case. I do not have a single moral problem with what I do. I don't think anything I do is bad or evil, at least in the context of what I do and get paid for.

For context, here’s how I typically approach private shows:

• I usually prefer longer sessions (around 20–40 minutes), because I like a natural pace and I’m never in a rush.
• I’m calm, respectful, and focused on the model’s comfort.
• I don’t give orders or push for extreme acts (anal, DP, degrading content, etc.).
• I don’t expect roleplay or emotional labor.
• I react to the model’s mood and rhythm, and I mostly give positive feedback.

In short, I’m not looking for a “porn performance,” but for a shared, authentic moment where both people feel relaxed and can genuinely enjoy themselves.

I agree with you on a lot of that although role-play can be fun as well. I've had some genuinely awesome times and completely imaginary roleplay situations. The important part for me is that there is a line of delineation. A lot of people get so into role play that they cannot just be normal at the beginning, and be a normal person. You have to be able to go in and out of it, at will for it to be sexy (to me). If people can't make of clear delineation, it gets to be really weird. Ie they need to be able to turn it on and off ( like I can) or it's a huge turn off for me.

So I’m curious from a professional standpoint:

• What helps you get into a more natural, playful, or even genuinely pleasurable state?

A man who is humble, honest, amd genuine. I tend to be more comfortable with men who are already in a relationship. So a lot of times, when they share that with me right off the bat, that actually makes me more comfortable with them.

Because I know that men in relationships, are less likely to develop unhealthy attachments. And it is just a strictly sexual thing. However I do want to point out, that I do have feelings and emotional connections to some of my clients. The problem that a lot of people have, is that they are not monogamous romantic you and only you connections. I don't have deep connections with everyone, but there are a few that I do. And those are real, those are not acted or fake. I've cried real tears (privately) over these people, when they are struggling, and I'm aware of it The problem that a lot of people have an understanding that, is a lot of people are not polyamorous, so they don't understand how a person could have more than one connection, like that, at a time. That was a huge oversimplification though. You can have different types of feelings with people you are having cyber sexual interactions with that are also not romantic. But are still feelings and emotional connections.

On the other side of things I don't want to sound like a spoiled brat, but I get compliments all day about my looks. And some guys lay it on really thick. That tends to turn me off, and work in reverse. I know my looks are good, that's why I chose this as a career, when I already have education to do something else! So it's nice to hear the odd compliment, but to constantly hear someone giving you like five in a row, just feels really disingenuous to me. And will actually turn me off, rather than make me feel happy, or good.

I've also noticed that a lot of the pickup (wannabe) artists do that when they have no intention of spending money. They think they can come in, and tell me five good things in a row about the way that I look or my physical appearance. They don't know f*** about me. I'm a complete b**** sometimes and I know that. I know I'm not an angel or a perfect person. So hearing a bunch of s*** from someone right off the bat, that I don't know, immediately puts me on the defensive and immediately makes me feel uncomfortable. Because I know there are d******* like Andrew Tate that give people advice on how to manipulate women, and how to be wannabe pick up artists lap that moron shit up.

• Is it mostly the member’s attitude?

Yes I would say that this plays into it a lot. I go off of their lead. A lot of what I do is reflect back what they are giving me. Then at a certain point I feel comfortable, where I will be myself, because they have created that space for me to be genuine and comfortable. By being that way themselves. And not having weird Hang-Ups or ego stuff going on.

• Your mood or energy level on that day?

This does affect things. I often refuse shows with people when I am in a lower energy place or if I've already had a lot of really good shows that day. Maybe I'm privileged to be able to do that. But I will not give a show, if I'm too tired to give a good one. Really don't think it is privileged though. Because I will give low effort shows when I am tired. There are lots of fetish shows that my level of energy has nothing to do with how good of a Time the other person has. However if it's a genuine orgasm show or something my level of energy absolutely will affect the other person's enjoyment. So I won't give shows like that when I'm low energy. I tell people all the time that I'm not in the mood for a certain thing, but maybe to check me another night that week. There are certain fetishes also that I'm sometimes just not in the mood for. But then a different night that same week I'm open to doing a show of that thing. And that right there is a big piece of why I genuinely enjoy my job and I genuinely enjoy my shows. Because I'm able to set those boundaries and be honest about how I'm feeling, and what I want. If you can't do that in this job, you are going to get really tired and really burned out.

• The pace and communication?
• Feeling safe and respected?
• Or something more individual and internall?

I would say both of those things are important that you listed above. I would also say that when a man expresses true vulnerability with me, I tend to feel more relaxed with him.

Like a lot of guys come to my room and are very cocky even from their screen name, they are very cocky. Instead of screaming confidence to me, that actually screams weakness. So when a guy comes in and tells me he's nervous, or that he really cares a lot about my opinion if he wants a cock rate, that makes a big difference to me.

Rather than some guy that's acting like he thinks he's great and he is super confident, when in reality he's probably not.

I’d really appreciate any insights. One thing I value about this forum is how honest and nuanced the discussions are, especially on topics that outsiders rarely understand.

Thanks in advance to anyone willing to share.

Absolutely .

 

[cbhours]

For context, here’s how I typically approach private shows

You have 'I’m Not Like Other Guys' syndrome. Luckily we found it early, but I'm going to have to prescribe you 50ccs of self-awareness and strict bed rest from the keyboard until the swelling of your ego goes down.

Edit: oh I thought this was the ask a doctor forum, sorry!

 

[Anubis]

Absolutely. All the time. I don't take shows with people I don't enjoy and I end them if I'm not genuinely having fun. That being said about 25- 50% of my shows I genuinely enjoy. And the others I am indifferent to, it's not that I'm really enjoying them but it's not that I'm having a bad time either. I'm just feeling kind of like blank about it. I don't end shows like that and I will take them repeatedly. Because they don't drain me and they don't make me uncomfortable, but they're not giving me a ton of pleasure or giving me a genuine Rush. Not everybody even cares about that though. Plenty of viewers don't give a s*** if you're getting off at all.


I can't speak for anyone else but I've always had a very high sex drive. I really enjoy showing off my body. I think the type of person you are, and the beliefs that you have about sex play into it a lot. How comfortable you are with yourself. How you feel about religion and sex and all of those topics. Lots of people deep down don't feel like what they are doing is a good thing. And I think in the long run that destroys those type of people, and they probably shouldn't get into the business, if they feel that way. Because it can be very mentally destructive in that case. I do not have a single moral problem with what I do. I don't think anything I do is bad or evil, at least in the context of what I do and get paid for.

I agree with you on a lot of that although role-play can be fun as well. I've had some genuinely awesome times and completely imaginary roleplay situations. The important part for me is that there is a line of delineation. A lot of people get so into role play that they cannot just be normal at the beginning, and be a normal person. You have to be able to go in and out of it, at will for it to be sexy (to me). If people can't make of clear delineation, it gets to be really weird. Ie they need to be able to turn it on and off ( like I can) or it's a huge turn off for me.

A man who is humble, honest, amd genuine. I tend to be more comfortable with men who are already in a relationship. So a lot of times, when they share that with me right off the bat, that actually makes me more comfortable with them.

Because I know that men in relationships, are less likely to develop unhealthy attachments. And it is just a strictly sexual thing. However I do want to point out, that I do have feelings and emotional connections to some of my clients. The problem that a lot of people have, is that they are not monogamous romantic you and only you connections. I don't have deep connections with everyone, but there are a few that I do. And those are real, those are not acted or fake. I've cried real tears (privately) over these people, when they are struggling, and I'm aware of it The problem that a lot of people have an understanding that, is a lot of people are not polyamorous, so they don't understand how a person could have more than one connection, like that, at a time. That was a huge oversimplification though. You can have different types of feelings with people you are having cyber sexual interactions with that are also not romantic. But are still feelings and emotional connections.

On the other side of things I don't want to sound like a spoiled brat, but I get compliments all day about my looks. And some guys lay it on really thick. That tends to turn me off, and work in reverse. I know my looks are good, that's why I chose this as a career, when I already have education to do something else! So it's nice to hear the odd compliment, but to constantly hear someone giving you like five in a row, just feels really disingenuous to me. And will actually turn me off, rather than make me feel happy, or good.

I've also noticed that a lot of the pickup (wannabe) artists do that when they have no intention of spending money. They think they can come in, and tell me five good things in a row about the way that I look or my physical appearance. They don't know f*** about me. I'm a complete b**** sometimes and I know that. I know I'm not an angel or a perfect person. So hearing a bunch of s*** from someone right off the bat, that I don't know, immediately puts me on the defensive and immediately makes me feel uncomfortable. Because I know there are d******* like Andrew Tate that give people advice on how to manipulate women, and how to be wannabe pick up artists lap that moron shit up.

Yes I would say that this plays into it a lot. I go off of their lead. A lot of what I do is reflect back what they are giving me. Then at a certain point I feel comfortable, where I will be myself, because they have created that space for me to be genuine and comfortable. By being that way themselves. And not having weird Hang-Ups or ego stuff going on.

This does affect things. I often refuse shows with people when I am in a lower energy place or if I've already had a lot of really good shows that day. Maybe I'm privileged to be able to do that. But I will not give a show, if I'm too tired to give a good one. Really don't think it is privileged though. Because I will give low effort shows when I am tired. There are lots of fetish shows that my level of energy has nothing to do with how good of a Time the other person has. However if it's a genuine orgasm show or something my level of energy absolutely will affect the other person's enjoyment. So I won't give shows like that when I'm low energy. I tell people all the time that I'm not in the mood for a certain thing, but maybe to check me another night that week. There are certain fetishes also that I'm sometimes just not in the mood for. But then a different night that same week I'm open to doing a show of that thing. And that right there is a big piece of why I genuinely enjoy my job and I genuinely enjoy my shows. Because I'm able to set those boundaries and be honest about how I'm feeling, and what I want. If you can't do that in this job, you are going to get really tired and really burned out.

I would say both of those things are important that you listed above. I would also say that when a man expresses true vulnerability with me, I tend to feel more relaxed with him.

Like a lot of guys come to my room and are very cocky even from their screen name, they are very cocky. Instead of screaming confidence to me, that actually screams weakness. So when a guy comes in and tells me he's nervous, or that he really cares a lot about my opinion if he wants a cock rate, that makes a big difference to me.

Rather than some guy that's acting like he thinks he's great and he is super confident, when in reality he's probably not.

Absolutely .

Thank you for taking the time to write such a detailed reply — it’s extremely insightful.
A few things you mentioned really stood out to me, especially how much the viewer’s energy, authenticity, and pacing shape your comfort level. It makes complete sense that too many forced compliments, PUA-style confidence, or rushed intentions would break the vibe, while calm, grounded interaction makes it easier for you to relax.

Your points about energy levels, boundaries, and the need for a natural rhythm were especially helpful for understanding how longer shows can actually become enjoyable for both sides.
Really appreciate you sharing this — it clarified a lot.

 

[Anubis]

I hope you ask if she wants to take breaks. 20 to 40 minutes is a long time for anyone to perform solo.

That’s a good point.
I usually tell the model before the show roughly how long I’m planning to stay, but I’ve never had anyone ask for a break so far.
Do you think it’s something I should proactively offer at the start of the session?

 

[Anubis]

I've done privates that are more of a straight up porn performance, more of a bonding/connecting one on one personal chat and pretty much any style in between those extremes. I've genuinely enjoyed each of those styles/formats. The majority of my viewers have a good understanding of model to viewer relationship and are easy to form a real connection with as they do not think we are actually going to meet ect ect. I don't get as playful/flirty or ask open ended questions to my fans if they come off as someone that thinks I'm going to become their girlfriend or thinks I'll do things for free now because I enjoy it. But I do see myself as someone offering a premium masturbation service, like I'm your personal outlet for all things horny, and I genuinely like to see results and smiles from that. Sometimes that means a full balls to the wall performance that shows off how wild I can actually get (as far as I'm allowed anyway lol), and sometimes it means I get to help someone break away from a very plain vanilla sexlife they feel stuck in. I've challenged viewers to have certain conversations with their significant others ect as I loooove to help improve their sexlife. I personally love sex and porn and I hate how taboo it all is when just about everyone is into it! So I have a personal drive to normalize things and bring fetish out from the darkness. I feel most of the negative sides of sex and porn come from everyone's lack of understanding and unwillingness to talk about it out of fear of it being too weird or whatever.

I do tend to have higher quality private shows when the viewer in engaged and actually telling me what they want out of it. Plus if your a regular or show your willing to pay for what you get, I typically do get a little looser with things naturally. More challenging and larger dildos don't come out unless I'm in a long pvt so I'm warmed up lol I don't even advertise I have them in public, as sometimes I sit for an hour or two with no warm up, so the only dildos I even show off are my smaller ones.

But I enjoy giving good privates so much, I'll feel bad every once in a while if I get a request in a down moment when I'm fatigued from a slow hour or something as I know I'm certainly not in the most playful mood at that moment. Which that is one thing I really really want to work on at this moment as a model. If you catch me during a busy stream, I'm witty, flirty, playful and snappy with my responses. But if you catch me during a slow moment, I'll mindlessly "leave money on the table".

Really interesting to read how you switch between different styles depending on the viewer’s energy and your own momentum during the stream.
Also appreciated the point about how mood and warm-up time affect what you’re open to.
Thanks for sharing your side of it. It gives a clearer sense of what actually helps a show flow on your end.

 

[Anubis]

Everything you listed makes any model happy. But like Vixxen said long privates tires us out a lot. And if models are refusing privates it is because their free chat is making them more money or they don't want leave the goal tippers hanging.

That makes sense, especially the part about free chat sometimes being more profitable.
Thanks for pointing it out.

 

[Vixxen81]

That’s a good point.
I usually tell the model before the show roughly how long I’m planning to stay, but I’ve never had anyone ask for a break so far.
Do you think it’s something I should proactively offer at the start of the session?

Sure, just a quick "if you need a break let me know." Of course, I say this knowing the person I do long privates with will stick around and wait for me.