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Ageism/ Sexism Cougar vs. Dirty Old Man
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LadyLuna
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Come to think about it, it's not about age... it's about how they are assumed to be treating their partner. I'm rather good at telling when two people are treating each other right, and when they aren't.
Most people assume that the older person is the dominant one when there's a large age gap. They assume that the older partner is with the younger because the younger will not resist them as much. Because women are seen as more gentle than men, people who think this way will assume that the man is abusing the younger partner, while the woman is just using the younger partner. So people who think this way will be more upset by the older man with the younger woman.
There's also the factor of competition. A guy in his 20's can't see how any woman would be attracted to a guy past his 40's. So, he'll think it's only natural for women to pursue men around his age, and will be more upset by the women who pursue older men than by the older women pursuing people his age. Women pursuing men older than him are increasing male competition, women who pursue men his age are increasing female competition.
Personally, I find people pursuing a relationship with me to be universally creepy, regardless of age. Any man who has had a chance with me pursued nothing but friendship, and (very gently) focused on getting me to admit my attraction to him without saying he was attracted to me before that. But then, I'm terrified of the power a person I'm attracted to has over me, and the power I know I end up having over them if they're attracted to me.
Most people assume that the older person is the dominant one when there's a large age gap. They assume that the older partner is with the younger because the younger will not resist them as much. Because women are seen as more gentle than men, people who think this way will assume that the man is abusing the younger partner, while the woman is just using the younger partner. So people who think this way will be more upset by the older man with the younger woman.
There's also the factor of competition. A guy in his 20's can't see how any woman would be attracted to a guy past his 40's. So, he'll think it's only natural for women to pursue men around his age, and will be more upset by the women who pursue older men than by the older women pursuing people his age. Women pursuing men older than him are increasing male competition, women who pursue men his age are increasing female competition.
Personally, I find people pursuing a relationship with me to be universally creepy, regardless of age. Any man who has had a chance with me pursued nothing but friendship, and (very gently) focused on getting me to admit my attraction to him without saying he was attracted to me before that. But then, I'm terrified of the power a person I'm attracted to has over me, and the power I know I end up having over them if they're attracted to me.
Like Fluff when I've gone for older men it's usually been me pushing for them, I think that's the difference for me. I'm not opposed to dating older men, but I am opposed to those who go around searching/coming onto only younger women.
I still think it's similar to the dating men off mfc, I would never date a man on mfc who is looking for a date/trying to fuck me, I think we can all agree that's pretty creepy, but if the guy isn't looking for that, and then you come to him it's totally different. It just seems the same with most girls who end up dating older men, that they came onto the guy, not the other way around, and it's the same with dating on mfc.
I would date a man who enjoys/doesn't mind my age, but I would not date a man who's with me for my age. That's just incredibly shallow and just a bit creepy.
Also like several people mentioned, most 18-20 year olds are not very mature and annoying! Almost a year ago two of my best friends were 19 and very mature, when I was that age I was mature too so I foolishly let an 18 year old move in with me. Every night parties, tantrums, empty bottles of Lambrini scattered everywhere, but that's apparently the norm, how most teenagers act! It was the same when I went to uni, I was amazed with how people acted! I've got a hell of a lot of growing up to do, every year I can feel myself learning and changing, but I'm still not the norm and have grown up a lot faster than the majority of people my age. I personally don't know why anyone would put up with that crap if they had other options.
I still think it's similar to the dating men off mfc, I would never date a man on mfc who is looking for a date/trying to fuck me, I think we can all agree that's pretty creepy, but if the guy isn't looking for that, and then you come to him it's totally different. It just seems the same with most girls who end up dating older men, that they came onto the guy, not the other way around, and it's the same with dating on mfc.
I would date a man who enjoys/doesn't mind my age, but I would not date a man who's with me for my age. That's just incredibly shallow and just a bit creepy.
Also like several people mentioned, most 18-20 year olds are not very mature and annoying! Almost a year ago two of my best friends were 19 and very mature, when I was that age I was mature too so I foolishly let an 18 year old move in with me. Every night parties, tantrums, empty bottles of Lambrini scattered everywhere, but that's apparently the norm, how most teenagers act! It was the same when I went to uni, I was amazed with how people acted! I've got a hell of a lot of growing up to do, every year I can feel myself learning and changing, but I'm still not the norm and have grown up a lot faster than the majority of people my age. I personally don't know why anyone would put up with that crap if they had other options.
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