Am I Simply Being Gullible?

[LivingInMyth]

I have been actively talking to a Romanian Cam Model for 14 months now. I have never seen her naked. Have only talked. She says she hates the business and plans on leaving the industry at Christmas. I am planning on meeting her. She says the rules exclude her from meeting me until she leaves the business so I don't have any of her personal information (name, address, phone number). Have probably spent $75,000 online (no tips) since she works through her period, when she's sick, etc. Sometime I spend a whole shift with her just so she can sleep. Says she can't reveal much to me right now because of the job. I try to stay to keep the others away. She tells me she has been punished for crying online (when she broke down one day because she hates her job). Also, she can no longer text me. I suggested she find a way to contact me but she says that her work will find out and she will get fired. Does her story hold up or am I just being gullible? Appreciate any help. Thanks in advance.

 

[schlmoe]

Appreciate any help.

You should have come here $74,000 ago...

 

[JerryBoBerry]

Sounds like you're just the perfect level of gullible...from her point of view.

 

[LivingInMyth]

Sounds like you're just the perfect level of gullible...from her point of view.

Can you tell me if there are rules against meeting up with clients. She says that she loves me but does not want to jeopardize her job online. Will not contact me via phone either because she says they will find out. Also, tells me that she cannot divulge personal information online. I feel sorry for her because I think she is only doing this because she needs the money. If it is any help she works on LJ, CC, and IML.

 

[LivingInMyth]

Jesus. Where can I find someone as gullible as you?

...actually, no, cause I'd feel bad about taking your money.

What a scam. You poor thing.

Very sad actually. In the 14 months that we have been together online I have written her 1200 poems, posted 230 YT videos for her which included original songs as well all under LivingInMyth.

 

[LivingInMyth]

Jesus. Where can I find someone as gullible as you?

...actually, no, cause I'd feel bad about taking your money.

What a scam. You poor thing.

Thank you for your response. Should she be able to divulge her information if she was serious about ultimately meeting me? She says she can't until she quits in December and I am simply looking for the truth.

 

[DahliaDee]

Jesus. Where can I find someone as gullible as you?

...actually, no, cause I'd feel bad about taking your money.

What a scam. You poor thing.

 

[AliceSombers]

Jesus. Where can I find someone as gullible as you?

...actually, no, cause I'd feel bad about taking your money.

What a scam. You poor thing.

Agreed!! I want someone to spend money on me like that lol.

 

[Snowie1969]

not bad.. If I calculate things correctly and she gets to keep 30% of what her studio gets, you still gave her almost double an average monthly wage (for Romania)..

I am sure she wants to leave the business soon......

 

[melanieoncam]

Livinginmyth I echo what others have said, and you definitely picked the right screen name.

 

[LivingInMyth]

By that I mean the post about 75 thousand the whole thing u wrote not just what model said it all makes no sense to me - is this some kind of joke? I mean seriously. Anyway if is not and is all true I apologize but does not ring true on many levels.
Maybe more details then...

$75,000 over 14 months. I you take into account that I would spend a full 7 hour shift with her some days when she was on her period, and spent her birthday with her all day and also a couple of our monthly anniversaries then the money adds up quickly. Certainly over $50,000 although I suspect higher.

 

[LivingInMyth]

Sorry but this story does not ring true to me. The whole thing posted sounds like pure nonsense to me and things do not add up for a lot of reasons but maybe is just me dunno.

I went online intending to have her take her clothes off but we started a conversation and 14 months later I still haven't asked her to take her clothes off or to perform sexually. From day 1 I felt sorry for her. She told me that she didn't want to be there, told me she had been raped as a teen. Gave me a new perspective on cam modeling. Before, I always thought that the models love their jobs. Now I see that some may actually hate the work and are totally pretending. So it changed my perspective and I see the business differently. Not judging anyone. But when you are working through your period cramps and I guy wants you to stick a large toy in there I don't think that's cool. Doctor told her to stop using toys due to inflammation. Also said she could never use a tampon again due to scarring so I am seeing (or at least hearing about another side of the business.) So, yes, I come online, let her rest during her period, or when she isn't feeling well. Generally to ensure that the vulture don't get to her. Maybe she's lying. Maybe she isn't. I just don't want her subjected to the poo treatment that she's getting online.

 

[Mila_]

I am sorry

 

[Lili_xo]

Sorry but this story does not ring true to me. The whole thing posted sounds like pure nonsense to me and things do not add up for a lot of reasons but maybe is just me dunno.

 

[Lili_xo]

By that I mean the post about 75 thousand the whole thing u wrote not just what model said it all makes no sense to me - is this some kind of joke? I mean seriously. Anyway if is not and is all true I apologize but does not ring true on many levels.
Maybe more details then...

 

[JoleneBrody]

Is this thread all jumbled and out of order for anyone else?

 

[LivingInMyth]

Is this thread all jumbled and out of order for anyone else?

My fault. First posts and my replies are out of sequence. Apologies.

 

[AmberCutie]

Is this thread all jumbled and out of order for anyone else?

I don't know why it happens, but it's because his posts were not immediately visible due to being new. They had to go through a moderation queue which me or Jawbs manually approve posts from.

 

[Deleted member 31926]

Does her story hold up or am I just being gullible?

Nothing of what you say she's told you strikes me as untrue. But make no mistake: You've been fooled.

Like my advice to another guy in a similar situation, I strongly urge you to cut all contact with this woman immediately. Trust me, I know perfectly well how hard that will be for you. But to protect your health and sanity, not to mention your bank account, it's the only wise thing for you to do.

I'm sorry to say you still have a number of difficult and painful lessons to learn about women before you'll be able to have a relationship that meets your needs as much as it does hers. This is not the place to discuss that, but here's one thing you can pick up easily by browsing this forum: To women, Webcamming is a business. They do not go on camera to meet men, find a boyfriend or fall in love—they have far better avenues available to them for doing all that. Women work as Webcam models to make money, and in much the same way a bar owner is happy to hand out bowls of salted nuts, not because he's generous but because it stimulates drink sales, models are sometimes happy to foster a man's delusions around being a wealthy provider swooping in to save the damsel in distress. It plays to our instincts, and it's a powerful way of keeping us on the hook—and spending money.

In other words, you've been sold a bill of goods. And she's been laughing all the way to the bank.

Make no mistake: This woman is not in love with you, does not feel reliant on your "help", has almost certainly been seeing a boyfriend or two the entire time you've known her and would never be seriously interested in meeting you in person. Frankly, nobody, man or woman, can respect a man who spends his money with such reckless abandon. The best thing you can do right now is to refocus your energy on yourself and start investing your resources in learning what it takes to be a successful and attractive man, then begin the journey of self-development that will get you there. If you have absolutely no idea where to start, consider starting with a therapist who can help you identify why it is you feel so dependent on securing approval from women. $75,000 will pay for a lot of sessions.

And please, please: Abandon any thoughts you have of travelling to Romania to meet this woman. Eastern Europe is not like America; people there have grown up in rough environments under governments that are thoroughly corrupt, and if you've never lived outside the West you have no idea the sort of easy target you represent to these people. You never know who'll be there to meet you, but you can be quite certain it won't be this girl. American men have been killed flying to Eastern Europe believing they were about to meet their mail-order bride.

So stay safe, invest in yourself and forget about this woman. Trust me, she hasn't been suffering (not with the money you've been spending on her) and will have forgotten all about you in a week. Once you've successfully built yourself up into the sort of man women naturally find attractive, you'll have plenty of decent girls to choose from right in your own city.

 

[LivingInMyth]

Nothing of what you say she's told you strikes me as untrue. But make no mistake: You've been fooled.

Like my advice to another guy in a similar situation, I strongly urge you to cut all contact with this woman immediately. Trust me, I know perfectly well how hard that will be for you. But to protect your health and sanity, not to mention your bank account, it's the only wise thing for you to do.

I'm sorry to say you still have a number of difficult and painful lessons to learn about women before you'll be able to have a relationship that meets your needs as much as it does hers. This is not the place to discuss that, but here's one thing you can pick up easily by browsing this forum: To women, Webcamming is a business. They do not go on camera to meet men, find a boyfriend or fall in love—they have far better avenues available to them for doing all that. Women work as Webcam models to make money, and in much the same way a bar owner is happy to hand out bowls of salted nuts, not because he's generous but because it stimulates drink sales, models are sometimes happy to foster a man's delusions around being a wealthy provider swooping in to save the damsel in distress. It plays to our instincts, and it's a powerful way of keeping us on the hook—and spending money.

In other words, you've been sold a bill of goods. And she's been laughing all the way to the bank.

Make no mistake: This woman is not in love with you, does not feel reliant on your "help", has almost certainly been seeing a boyfriend or two the entire time you've known her and would never be seriously interested in meeting you in person. Frankly, nobody, man or woman, can respect a man who spends his money with such reckless abandon. The best thing you can do right now is to refocus your energy on yourself and start investing your resources in learning what it takes to be a successful and attractive man, then begin the journey of self-development that will get you there. If you have absolutely no idea where to start, consider starting with a therapist who can help you identify why it is you feel so dependent on securing approval from women. $75,000 will pay for a lot of sessions.

And please, please: Abandon any thoughts you have of travelling to Romania to meet this woman. Eastern Europe is not like America; people there have grown up in rough environments under governments that are thoroughly corrupt, and if you've never lived outside the West you have no idea the sort of easy target you represent to these people. You never know who'll be there to meet you, but you can be quite certain it won't be this girl. American men have been killed flying to Eastern Europe believing they were about to meet their mail-order bride.

So stay safe, invest in yourself and forget about this woman. Trust me, she hasn't been suffering (not with the money you've been spending on her) and will have forgotten all about you in a week. Once you've successfully built yourself up into the sort of man women naturally find attractive, you'll have plenty of decent girls to choose from right in your own city.

Simon,

I truly appreciate your thorough and thoughtful response to my inquiry. While the words sting, they also ring true. While I not totally ready to give up on her quite yet (because there always are exceptions) I am already spending less time online and looking to find a way to verify her story, if possible. I am not sure if that is possible, but I feel that I will never get the truth from her online since she even admits "that almost everything online is a lie". What makes this hard to totally embrace is she admits to lying to me and promises to admit the truth to me when we finally meet. Since I have cut down my time with her I am thinking that she may tire of me and simply move on. Is there anything that you or others would suggest for me to push the envelope a bit to get to the truth? She states that she would get fired if she contacted me beyond work and while this seems plausible I wonder if it's a valid excuse. I have been pushing for communication outside of work so that we can talk without being monitored online.

 

[Deleted member 31926]

Is there anything that you or others would suggest for me to push the envelope a bit to get to the truth?

Well, what is the "truth" you're looking for? What is it you're hoping she'll finally admit?

It's true that studios (and cam sites in general) don't like models associating with patrons anywhere else, since the studio has no way of taking a cut from those transactions. So I don't think she's lying to you when she says she can't risk losing her job by talking to you through another channel.

But I don't think that's what you really care about. What is?

 

[DahliaDee]

The fact that you posted here at all means that you know, deep inside, what the truth is. Clearly you just want other people to echo your feelings, and we have.
This is a classic scam and Simon put it better than anyone else ever could have. It's time to move on. Cut your losses and find a less-scammy model, if you're still interested in spending time in chatrooms.

 

[LivingInMyth]

Well, what is the "truth" you're looking for? What is it you're hoping she'll finally admit?

It's true that studios (and cam sites in general) don't like models associating with patrons anywhere else, since the studio has no way of taking a cut from those transactions. So I don't think she's lying to you when she says she can't risk losing her job by talking to you through another channel.

But I don't think that's what you really care about. What is?

You are probably correct that there is no truth that she can reveal over the phone that can be verified by me. Unfortunately, I feel that they only way I will truly know the truth is to fly there. If she doesn't show up I will know. Otherwise, I will always wonder. I will be traveling with someone for safety. I have dedicated myself to this person for 14 months and will always wonder if I don't take this to the end. Many people will know of my itinerary. Obviously, I will not allow others to whisk me away from the airport to meet her. After reading the posts, I am not optimistic of a positive outcome although I will know shortly. I doubt that she will meet to me continue the charade because I have made it clear that I want her to move to the US (which she has agreed to) although she could be looking for a green card. So I realize that there is still risk involved. On a positive note, I do realize that this could all be a scam so I will be vigilant. For now, I am trying to look beyond the stereotype of a cam model and patron (where depending on the vantage point someone is always considered prey).

 

[DahliaDee]

Aaaaand I give up.
Best of luck to you, sir.

 

[LivingInMyth]

The fact that you posted here at all means that you know, deep inside, what the truth is. Clearly you just want other people to echo your feelings, and we have.
This is a classic scam and Simon put it better than anyone else ever could have. It's time to move on. Cut your losses and find a less-scammy model, if you're still interested in spending time in chatrooms.

Appreciate the note. And I will not be spending time in chat rooms from now on. I was not looking for a relationship when I came online and was caught up with her story so I felt compelled to stay. I am not looking for a "fantasy" but truth and thought that I found it in someone who was forced into this business out of financial necessity and truly did not want to be here.

 

[Deleted member 31926]

Unfortunately, I feel that they only way I will truly know the truth is to fly there... I have dedicated myself to this person for 14 months and will always wonder if I don't take this to the end.

I beg you to reconsider. Like many men (including myself, when I was your age) you are acting out of a misplaced sense of sentimentality. Real life is not like the romantic movies you see on television: You are not her knight in shining armour; she is not the helpless victim of an uncaring society; there will be no tear-jerking reconciliation where she runs into your arms and confesses her undying love and devotion.

The only "end" you are heading towards is the nut-crushing realization that the business arrangement you fooled yourself into thinking was a romance is, in fact, just a business arrangement—followed, as likely as not, by a rib-crushing mugging at the hands of a bunch of Romanian thugs.

The truth you are looking for is that this girl is a sex worker who strings men along for money. You have fallen into her trap. Please, please back away from her long enough to get some perspective on the whole situation.

 

[LivingInMyth]

Aaaaand I give up.
Best of luck to you, sir.

Please don't feel like your words where wasted. All of your collective comments have hit home, and it's just taking some time to digest. While I am not yet ready to just through in the towel, I acknowledge that the odds of this being real are against me and I have open to everyone's comments which are very much appreciated.

 

[LivingInMyth]

I beg you to reconsider. Like many men (including myself, when I was your age) you are acting out of a misplaced sense of sentimentality. Real life is not like the romantic movies you see on television: You are not her knight in shining armour; she is not the helpless victim of an uncaring society; there will be no tear-jerking reconciliation where she runs into your arms and confesses her undying love and devotion.

The only "end" you are heading towards is the nut-crushing realization that the business arrangement you fooled yourself into thinking was a romance is, in fact, just a business arrangement—followed, as likely as not, by a rib-crushing mugging at the hands of a bunch of Romanian thugs.

The truth you are looking for is that this girl is a sex worker who strings men along for money. You have fallen into her trap. Please, please back away from her long enough to get some perspective on the whole situation.

Simon, that is good advice and I will take it. She told me she is quitting in December. I will cut contact with her until then and tell her to contact me once she is finished if she wants to start a real relationship. I will put the ownership on her. Since she will not be getting any screen time with me (money) I would think that she would simply move on if there was no truth to her story. This will give me time to think through all this. At one point, she talked about coming to the US and maybe I should make that her only option to mitigate the possibility of a mugging in Romania. The bottom line is that I have done all the work and it is her turn to demonstrate her commitment. Does any of this make sense?

 

[cherrybomb1111]

You poor thing. I have some regulars that come see me and spend a chunk of changer here and there. Sometimes they joke around about coming to meet me and showing me real love.. I always make it very clear that I do not meet people from cam in real life. My customers know we can be good friends and and that I'm always available online.. but the sexual part is just a fantasy. They still choose to spend money and and joke about me being their fantasy girl friend. They tell me they love me and I tell them I care about them too. It's important to not lead a guy on and let him think there is ever and chance of us being together. I'm online to make money and sometimes friends... But not to break hearts and Rob bank accounts. Don't be fooled by this fantasy that she has created. If she wanted to meet you or talk outside of cam.. she could. But the money's too good my friend. You pay to talk to her and she doesn't even have to strip! why would she change that?

 

[LivingInMyth]

You poor thing. I have some regulars that come see me and spend a chunk of changer here and there. Sometimes they joke around about coming to meet me and showing me real love.. I always make it very clear that I do not meet people from cam in real life. My customers know we can be good friends and and that I'm always available online.. but the sexual part is just a fantasy. They still choose to spend money and and joke about me being their fantasy girl friend. They tell me they love me and I tell them I care about them too. It's important to not lead a guy on and let him think there is ever and chance of us being together. I'm online to make money and sometimes friends... But not to break hearts and Rob bank accounts. Don't be fooled by this fantasy that she has created. If she wanted to meet you or talk outside of cam.. she could. But the money's too good my friend. You pay to talk to her and she doesn't even have to strip! why would she change that?

She says that she cannot meet me outside of cam or contact me because she will lose her job. Is that not true? Appreciate the support. It is very much appreciated.