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Friendship between a model and a member

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Mar 6, 2022
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Exactly. Etiquette. It communicates a subtle level of complete disrespect to me, when Members disregard etiquette entirely.

I'm happy to choose those who remain mindful of etiquette, over those who throw it to the wind. Even if the Member who remains mindful of it, spends less. I'd rather take 10 guys who are polite, intelligent, aware and respectful, and who each spend one-tenth of what one disrespectful, rude guy does (in his place). Sometimes, as a model, you breathe a sigh of relief when certain members run out of money, or change schedules :party: :party:. Or, alternately, you start purposefully avoiding the times you know they are on, to avoid a potential grown man bitch fit. The rudeness can be unintentional, but there are lots of others who won't be unintentionally rude... so...


Oh yeah, thinking of obnoxious assholes in rooms who were just continually offensive and even if they tipped you could clearly see it was hardly worth it to the model having to put up with them.
 
Jun 12, 2022
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Oh yeah, thinking of obnoxious assholes in rooms who were just continually offensive and even if they tipped you could clearly see it was hardly worth it to the model having to put up with them.
I mostly visit Streamate. The only time I see the obnoxious comments are when the member doesn't know how to hide his chat. And that's a high enough volume of assholery to witness. I can't begin to imagine what comes through in the hidden chat for models to have to deal with.

Some members who visit cam sites forget that they have sisters and mothers of their own. The way they speak is atrocious. I've noticed it to be particularly prevalent when they are talking to Colombian models because they seem to be in a position where they have to tolerate it more. It makes my blood boil.
 

MarieElise

Cam Model
Dec 19, 2019
5,295
10,979
131
Twitter Username
@EliMarie717
Streamate Username
MarieElise
ManyVids URL
https://www.manyvids.com/Profile/328205/EliMarie717/
Clips4Sale URL
https://www.clips4sale.com/studio/92217/marie717
Oh yeah, thinking of obnoxious assholes in rooms who were just continually offensive and even if they tipped you could clearly see it was hardly worth it to the model having to put up with them.
Yeah, the obnoxious ones and the mentally unstable ones are the worst. They can make themselves into such huge, emotionally exhausting pests. That's why every platform needs to have a permanent or lifetime block option. Because even when they come back on another account, they tend to do the exact same shit.

It sounds like this guy didn't mean it that way, but it's gonna get taken that way.
 
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Mar 6, 2022
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Yeah, the obnoxious ones and the mentally unstable ones are the worst. They can make themselves into such huge, emotionally exhausting pests. That's why every platform needs to have a permanent or lifetime block option. Because even when they come back on another account, they tend to do the exact same shit.

It sounds like this guy didn't mean it that way, but it's gonna get taken that way.

I agree 100%. A permanent ban that's idealy tied to his IP address would be ideal just to not have to deal with the aggravation. And safety reasons too, of course.

p.s. Remember when I mentioned going into a sideline? Well, I'm just starting out and it's been trial and error, but it's actually been quite nice so far :)
 
Jul 15, 2018
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OP, I think you don't realize how fragile your friendship is, despite the boundaries you have set. I can think of many things that can upset this equilibrium you feel like you've achieved.

Has there ever been a situation where you got jealous of her? Can you see yourself getting jealous? If you are purely a friend, would you mind if she started a real life relationship or even an online relationship? Would you be okay if she started spending more time with a high tipping member or a low tipping member she seem to really like?

Are you physically attracted to her? Would you mind if she said she wasn't physically attracted to you?
 
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Jun 12, 2022
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OP, I think you don't realize how fragile your friendship is, despite the boundaries you have set. I can think of many things that can upset this equilibrium you feel like you've achieved.

Has there ever been a situation where you got jealous of her? Can you see yourself getting jealous? If you are purely a friend, would you mind if she started a real life relationship or even an online relationship? Would you be okay if she started spending more time with a high tipping member or a low tipping member she seem to really like?

Are you physically attracted to her? Would you mind if she said she wasn't physically attracted to you?
A lot of questions but I'll try to answer them, not necessarily in order.

Of course I'm attracted to her. Isn't that the point of cam sites? I'm not going to spend time visiting a model I'm not attracted to. I'm also attracted to Jennifer Aniston but I'm not crying into my cornflakes every time she gets a new boyfriend.

I can safely say I've never got jealous. There are guys out there who tip her way more than I do and send her things way beyond anything I could manage to send. Instead of being jealous, I celebrate her successes and am pleased that she is more financially secure as a result. She is my friend, not my girlfriend. Why would I not want good things for my friend?

Finally, I've been around the sun a few times. The chances of a woman that beautiful and engaging not having a real-life boyfriend are miniscule. I've known that from the start. She's never mentioned it and I've never asked because that's part of the model/customer dance that we all do but if she told me she had a boyfriend it wouldn't change anything. I'd be glad she was happy. The only time I'd concern myself with her outside relationship was if she was being mistreated in which case it would anger me, but it would still not be my business beyond providing moral support.
 
Jun 12, 2022
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OP, I think you don't realize how fragile your friendship is, despite the boundaries you have set. I can think of many things that can upset this equilibrium you feel like you've achieved.

Has there ever been a situation where you got jealous of her? Can you see yourself getting jealous? If you are purely a friend, would you mind if she started a real life relationship or even an online relationship? Would you be okay if she started spending more time with a high tipping member or a low tipping member she seem to really like?

Are you physically attracted to her? Would you mind if she said she wasn't physically attracted to you?
I posted this thread because I thought it would be useful to get a feel for how genuine friendships could be formed in this space.

Often there's the assumption that any guy who is "friends" with a model is actually just in a holding pattern in the hope that it develops into something more. That's not surprising. The plethora of posts on here would tell you that is often the case, not least of all the tale of "back tattoo guy". But it's not in every case as evidenced by some of the posts here. It is possible to be sensible grownups who don't lose their sense of perspective, even in this environment.
 
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Jun 12, 2022
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As for whether she's physically attracted to me or not, could any model who has actually told an ugly guy that he is ugly please reply below :cool:

I suspect I'd get the same feedback from her whether I looked like Brad Pitt or Sloth from the Goonies. Personally, I'm confident enough that I'm OK looking but 99% of the time I'm just words on a screen anyway.
 
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Jan 27, 2020
265
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Twitter Username
@mika_kedi
MFC Username
mika_kedi
Chaturbate Username
mika_kedi
ManyVids URL
https://www.manyvids.com/Profile/1004128361/Mika-Kedi/
Some members who visit cam sites forget that they have sisters and mothers of their own.
You keep saying that, and every time I see you (or anyone) mention that I want to scream. You should not need to use women in your family to realise and remember WOMEN ARE PEOPLE. You might be an orphan raised in a monastery where no woman ever set a foot and still, upon turning 18, leaving the monastery for the first time and meeting the first woman in your life understanding that women are people should not be a problem for anyone. If it is a problem for someone, that it is a choice to be misogynistic asshole and not a case of "forgetting they have a mother/sister/daughter/well, met a nice woman that one time, so maybe women deserve to not be treated like shit".
 
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Apr 17, 2021
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You keep saying that, and every time I see you (or anyone) mention that I want to scream. You should not need to use women in your family to realise and remember WOMEN ARE PEOPLE. You might be an orphan raised in a monastery where no woman ever set a foot and still, upon turning 18, leaving the monastery for the first time and meeting the first woman in your life understanding that women are people should not be a problem for anyone. If it is a problem for someone, that it is a choice to be misogynistic asshole and not a case of "forgetting they have a mother/sister/daughter/well, met a nice woman that one time, so maybe women deserve to not be treated like shit".
You are correct of course. It shouldn't take a familiarity with female relatives to know that women deserve to be treated with courtesy. But for those neanderthals who do not automatically think women deserve this courtesy, I have always wondered why at the very least they do not seem able to think of a female relative and realise that they would hate to have that relative treated in such a manner.
 
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Jun 12, 2022
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You keep saying that, and every time I see you (or anyone) mention that I want to scream. You should not need to use women in your family to realise and remember WOMEN ARE PEOPLE. You might be an orphan raised in a monastery where no woman ever set a foot and still, upon turning 18, leaving the monastery for the first time and meeting the first woman in your life understanding that women are people should not be a problem for anyone. If it is a problem for someone, that it is a choice to be misogynistic asshole and not a case of "forgetting they have a mother/sister/daughter/well, met a nice woman that one time, so maybe women deserve to not be treated like shit".
Apologies. I'm not remotely suggesting that should be the only reason you show respect. I made that comment without considering how it could be taken. They shouldn't be treating anyone like shit regardless of whether they can relate to female relatives. If it came across that way then I apologise.
 
Jun 12, 2022
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You are correct of course. It shouldn't take a familiarity with female relatives to know that women deserve to be treated with courtesy. But for those neanderthals who do not automatically think women deserve this courtesy, I have always wondered why at the very least they do not seem able to think of a female relative and realise that they would hate to have that relative treated in such a manner.
Which is kind of the point I was making although I made it clumsily.
 
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AudriTwo

Cam Model
Jul 25, 2014
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33,598
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Twitter Username
@audritwo
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audritwo
As for whether she's physically attracted to me or not, could any model who has actually told an ugly guy that he is ugly please reply below :cool:
🙋‍♀️
Both for free and for money
 
Jun 12, 2022
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So. I have to ask. How did this situation go from 'obsessed'. 'addicted' , 'need to step away', 'best to go cold-turkey', etc, to a thread about passing on how it's possible to become friends with a model?
Quite easily in the end. The original post was a bit muddled to be honest. I was worried about what I was spending in general, not on her in particular. I took some time away and came back with a more sensible head on. Returning and only really visiting the one model made that a bit easier. I appreciate the two threads seem incompatible but it's how it is. Obviously the fact that we got on very well once the initial wobbles were out of the way really helped.
 

Lilly_____

Cam Model
Jun 7, 2022
251
525
16
Twitter Username
@LillyUnderscore
MFC Username
Lilly_____
Streamate Username
LillyManara
The chances of a woman that beautiful and engaging not having a real-life boyfriend are miniscule.
Yes because all women want boyfriends at all times

You keep saying that, and every time I see you (or anyone) mention that I want to scream. You should not need to use women in your family to realise and remember WOMEN ARE PEOPLE. You might be an orphan raised in a monastery where no woman ever set a foot and still, upon turning 18, leaving the monastery for the first time and meeting the first woman in your life understanding that women are people should not be a problem for anyone. If it is a problem for someone, that it is a choice to be misogynistic asshole and not a case of "forgetting they have a mother/sister/daughter/well, met a nice woman that one time, so maybe women deserve to not be treated like shit".
YES!!! Thank you!!!! I thought exactly the same thing as I read it. Like the only possible way of acknowledging women as human beings is being related to one.
 
Jun 8, 2022
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So here's an anecdote, relevant to the thread, to maybe ground some of the things I've talked about in. There's a model I know who I ended up moving to talking to offsite. It started how you'd expect but ended up shifting gradually to talking about our families, parenthood, spirituality, and the fact that we both suffer from similar mental illnesses. We chat, at least a little bit, almost every day.

There was a time, months ago at this point, that I was physically assaulted in my own home. It's a long story and I don't want to get into the details, but I had reason to fear for my safety and I ended up spending the night at a hotel. I was freaked out and fucked up about it, and she sent me a little check in message so I told her what happened. She called me and kept me company until I was more relaxed and able to fall asleep. I was and still am stunned that she would do that for me.

Recently for one of her kids' birthdays, she didn't know what to get him. I made a suggestion of a toy I knew was popular for kids that age. She video called me from his birthday so I could see how excited he was about it.

We met in person once, briefly, and it was a nice time. I don't know when or if it will ever happen again, but it's a nice memory for both of us.

There's more but you get the idea. I take everyone's warnings and concerns in here to heart, and, you know, who knows where it will end up or how long it will last. But it doesn't really matter whether it's a friendship or not. It's been a blessing to me in a dark time, and she tells me I've been the same to her. Maybe it's just two strangers keeping each other company for a while. But she, and our relationship, whatever it is, have been precious to me. Everything else, I'm working out in therapy.

After a lot of reflection and reading this thread I think the problem for me, and this isn't just an issue with OP (misterical I think you're a good-hearted person who means well) but with my earlier comments as well which I feel really embarrassed about now, is how it reads like a model is some kind of exotic pet you need special instructions to know how take care of. If you've truly befriended someone who is a model, then they're your friend... who also happens to be a model. It doesn't require any special consideration beyond what you would give any other friendship you have in your life. But if you're still going to their room, tipping, going for privates, buying wishlist items, etc. you have a business relationship first and foremost and anything else is getting ahead of yourself.

As always, thanks to the models in this forum who gently and not so gently guide us dopey dudes towards the light and put up with our presence here. 🙏
 
Jun 12, 2022
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Yes because all women want boyfriends at all times


YES!!! Thank you!!!! I thought exactly the same thing as I read it. Like the only possible way of acknowledging women as human beings is being related to one.
I probably shouldn't post early in the morning....

Re the first point, she may neither have nor want a boyfriend. The point I was trying to make is that I'm not deluding myself and anyway I have no interest in fulfilling that role.

Re the second point - agreed, I put it clumsily. I should have really just said that some guys don't know how to treat women correctly, period.
 
Jun 12, 2022
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After a lot of reflection and reading this thread I think the problem for me, and this isn't just an issue with OP (misterical I think you're a good-hearted person who means well) but with my earlier comments as well which I feel really embarrassed about now, is how it reads like a model is some kind of exotic pet you need special instructions to know how take care of. If you've truly befriended someone who is a model, then they're your friend... who also happens to be a model. It doesn't require any special consideration beyond what you would give any other friendship you have in your life. But if you're still going to their room, tipping, going for privates, buying wishlist items, etc. you have a business relationship first and foremost and anything else is getting ahead of yourself.

As always, thanks to the models in this forum who gently and not so gently guide us dopey dudes towards the light and put up with our presence here. 🙏
That's an interesting take on things and I totally get it. I think it's more the environment that's exotic and confusing than the model or the customer themselves. It's certainly a weird place to be friends and the fact that it's a transactional environment is inescapable. I'm not sure the transactional element totally invalidates the friendships though. I have two friends in real life who are also friends with one another. One owns a computer store and the other buys laptops from him at vastly higher prices than he would pay elsewhere. It's just supporting a friend. I'd still view them as friends first and customer/supplier second. One isn't buying from the other to retain their friendship. He's buying from the other because of their friendship.

I appreciate that's possibly a simplistic analogy.

And I agree re the point you made re the models. It's great to get a model's viewpoint. It helps us to be better customers and better humans.
 
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Aug 3, 2022
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So here's an anecdote, relevant to the thread, to maybe ground some of the things I've talked about in. There's a model I know who I ended up moving to talking to offsite. It started how you'd expect but ended up shifting gradually to talking about our families, parenthood, spirituality, and the fact that we both suffer from similar mental illnesses. We chat, at least a little bit, almost every day.

There was a time, months ago at this point, that I was physically assaulted in my own home. It's a long story and I don't want to get into the details, but I had reason to fear for my safety and I ended up spending the night at a hotel. I was freaked out and fucked up about it, and she sent me a little check in message so I told her what happened. She called me and kept me company until I was more relaxed and able to fall asleep. I was and still am stunned that she would do that for me.

Recently for one of her kids' birthdays, she didn't know what to get him. I made a suggestion of a toy I knew was popular for kids that age. She video called me from his birthday so I could see how excited he was about it.

We met in person once, briefly, and it was a nice time. I don't know when or if it will ever happen again, but it's a nice memory for both of us.

There's more but you get the idea. I take everyone's warnings and concerns in here to heart, and, you know, who knows where it will end up or how long it will last. But it doesn't really matter whether it's a friendship or not. It's been a blessing to me in a dark time, and she tells me I've been the same to her. Maybe it's just two strangers keeping each other company for a while. But she, and our relationship, whatever it is, have been precious to me. Everything else, I'm working out in therapy.
So this does sound like a friendship to me - the first scenario I have read that I would say that about
 
Mar 6, 2022
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I mostly visit Streamate. The only time I see the obnoxious comments are when the member doesn't know how to hide his chat. And that's a high enough volume of assholery to witness. I can't begin to imagine what comes through in the hidden chat for models to have to deal with.

Some members who visit cam sites forget that they have sisters and mothers of their own. The way they speak is atrocious. I've noticed it to be particularly prevalent when they are talking to Colombian models because they seem to be in a position where they have to tolerate it more. It makes my blood boil.

I'm only familiar with MFC and any chat that isn't in PM or a tip note is right there in the room. And jerks and weirdos and straight up assholes are par. The obvious assholes tend to get bounced quickly.

And I don't see it as a mater of forgetting they have sisters and mothers, I see it as being women-hating freaks and simple jerks. They know that their behaviour isn't acceptable but feel they are free to be that way on a cam site.
 
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Mar 6, 2022
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I posted this thread because I thought it would be useful to get a feel for how genuine friendships could be formed in this space.

Often there's the assumption that any guy who is "friends" with a model is actually just in a holding pattern in the hope that it develops into something more. That's not surprising. The plethora of posts on here would tell you that is often the case, not least of all the tale of "back tattoo guy". But it's not in every case as evidenced by some of the posts here. It is possible to be sensible grownups who don't lose their sense of perspective, even in this environment.


I'm sorry, I find this thread to be strange and for lack of a better word, somewhat disturbing. I'm not sure what you're getting at when speaking of making friends with models because it looks to me like you are speaking of it as a goal. That really isn't good or healthy.
 
Mar 6, 2022
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You keep saying that, and every time I see you (or anyone) mention that I want to scream. You should not need to use women in your family to realise and remember WOMEN ARE PEOPLE. You might be an orphan raised in a monastery where no woman ever set a foot and still, upon turning 18, leaving the monastery for the first time and meeting the first woman in your life understanding that women are people should not be a problem for anyone. If it is a problem for someone, that it is a choice to be misogynistic asshole and not a case of "forgetting they have a mother/sister/daughter/well, met a nice woman that one time, so maybe women deserve to not be treated like shit".

Thank You, @_mika_ ! It drives me up a wall too! Every time!

And when I call it online or irl, I get the radical feminist treatment. Well damnit, I Am a feminist. I'm a full and equal human being in this world with human rights and liberties.
 
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Jun 12, 2022
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I'm sorry, I find this thread to be strange and for lack of a better word, somewhat disturbing. I'm not sure what you're getting at when speaking of making friends with models because it looks to me like you are speaking of it as a goal. That really isn't good or healthy.
Well it started off as a curiosity post to see if there was ever any middle ground between "back tattoo" guy and just basic horny customer but it's definitely opened a can of worms. Becoming friends with a model isn't a goal. In fact it's the opposite. It's got the potential to be a bloody hassle for everyone involved as evidenced multiple times in multiple threads on here. I've been visiting cam sites since 2015 and have never been inclined to do so prior to this and am unlikely to be inclined to again. The initial point of this thread was "If you are going to do this, here's how not to become back tattoo guy".

Of course, back tattoo guy didn't think he was back tattoo guy until he got a back tattoo......

Probably about time an admin locked this thread though.
 
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Mar 6, 2022
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I don't want this thread to be locked. I'm replying in it by saying what I think and feel. I don't want threads to be closed because I disagree with them or don't like what someone says.
 
Jun 12, 2022
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I don't want this thread to be locked. I'm replying in it by saying what I think and feel. I don't want threads to be closed because I disagree with them or don't like what someone says.
I wasn't suggesting you were. I was thinking it had just run it's course anyway.
 
Sep 30, 2021
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The way they speak is atrocious. I've noticed it to be particularly prevalent when they are talking to Colombian models because they seem to be in a position where they have to tolerate it more.
This makes no sense to me. Why would Colombian models have to tolerate it more?