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Hmmm... changing of the game

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Feb 10, 2020
7
7
1
USA
profiles.myfreecams.com
MFC Username
DaniBrasshole
I hear more and more models on MFC complaining how the site sucks, members suck, yada yada yada.... I for one am grateful for the site. I have amazing friends (not members, that’s so impersonal) whom day in and day out come to my room and spend their day with me... Money aside, I have an infinity for amazing humans. I like conversations, jokes, laughing. I have many friends whom like to hang with me for, well, just me. I don’t want to be remembered for what kind of cam girl I was, I could care less, I want to be remembered for how I made people feel and how I treated people. Sometimes, friends, money shouldn’t be the main goal... sometimes just knowing you made someone’s shitty day good just by being there is well worth it. SUPRISE..... most people care more about conversations and feeling like they belong more than pussy pussy lovesense, asshole.... that’s common but being real is a rare quality here
 

Gia666

Deactivated Account
Oct 29, 2019
71
34
6
I so wish that were true on CB. I’m about as real and talkative as they get. But I just sat another entire hour trying to engage with my viewers and couldn’t even get a hello. It is NOT appreciated on CB. Hell the only time users come in is if I’m naked. I so value a good chat, I just can’t get it or decent humans on CB for the life of me
 

KristinKervz

Cam Model
Mar 9, 2011
1,371
2,415
213
32
Florida
KervyFans.com
Twitter Username
@KristinKervzBBW
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KristinKervz
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KristinKervz
Chaturbate Username
KristinKervz
ManyVids URL
https://www.manyvids.com/Profile/466735/Kristin-Kervz/
This is so wonderful that you can feel fulfilled and accomplished simply from making people happy. I also appreciate that I make people happy when doing my job... but for me, this is a JOB. I have a busy family and social life off cam, so when I'm logged in, I can be friendly all day but I better be making money while doing it. This isn't a hobby, I'm not here to make friends or find a boyfriend. I think it's important that members understand that while there are some models with your attitude, we should not ALL be expected to share your same level of chill. The rest of us aren't greedy and heartless. We're working. This is how I feed my family. If I'm on for more than 30 minutes without making money, I'm out. Doesn't matter how many people wanna sit there and stare at me for free.
 
Sexualized performances VS more conversational ones aren't more 'real' than the other I'd say. Everyone's hustle is different and in the end and it's a very personal (not to mention the safety aspects) on how candid you are with viewers and how much of yourself and your life you share with them. I'm happy you feel that way that the camsite members are your friends but note that it doesn't make someone less real or impersonal to think of them as viewers. I've had members I've considered friends for long periods of times burn me. How long have you been camming if you don't mind me asking?

When I started camming around 6/7 years ago I considered a lot more of my members my friends and over time learned that although friendship can form organically the reality is this is a buisness and people can and will take advantage by throwing the friend flag up. I don't view being 'real' as being a rare quality at all in the camming industry. After knowing so many amazing cam models both on social media and the forum--whether their shows are sexualized or not, whether they view members as friends or not they shouldn't be viewed as 'oh they're just pussy pussy lovsense and no one is real". Me telling members I'm not their friend IS me keeping it real to them. Me saying I'm there to make money is keeping it real

The gist of what I'm saying is you don't need to put down other cam models as not being 'real' just because they work differently than you do--many work this way because it's efficiant and have been doing this a long time.
 

Mila_

Cam Model
Apr 3, 2015
4,575
15,444
243
5 miles away
onlyfans.com
Twitter Username
@mmmilarky_
MFC Username
mila_
Chaturbate Username
mila_
Sexualized performances VS more conversational ones aren't more 'real' than the other I'd say. Everyone's hustle is different and in the end and it's a very personal (not to mention the safety aspects) on how candid you are with viewers and how much of yourself and your life you share with them. I'm happy you feel that way that the camsite members are your friends but note that it doesn't make someone less real or impersonal to think of them as viewers. I've had members I've considered friends for long periods of times burn me. How long have you been camming if you don't mind me asking?

When I started camming around 6/7 years ago I considered a lot more of my members my friends and over time learned that although friendship can form organically the reality is this is a buisness and people can and will take advantage by throwing the friend flag up. I don't view being 'real' as being a rare quality at all in the camming industry. After knowing so many amazing cam models both on social media and the forum--whether their shows are sexualized or not, whether they view members as friends or not they shouldn't be viewed as 'oh they're just pussy pussy lovsense and no one is real". Me telling members I'm not their friend IS me keeping it real to them. Me saying I'm there to make money is keeping it real

The gist of what I'm saying is you don't need to put down other cam models as not being 'real' just because they work differently than you do--many work this way because it's efficiant and have been doing this a long time.
I was also going to ask her how long she has been camming for. OP sounds way naive both in this thread and the other one and it will cost her down the line.
 

IsabellaSnow

Cam Model
Feb 3, 2012
4,989
16,108
243
myfreecams!
profiles.myfreecams.com
I think it's a great thing to appreciate more about camming as a job than just the money. I too have always enjoyed the friendship elements of MFC and have kept things pretty real. I've enjoyed hearing from regulars that things I've said/done have genuinely improved their lives. However, if I were to offer any advice, it's to be really careful of boundaries. Friendship means something different to everyone, but the majority of the time, members/regulars are not your friends. They are there because you are offering a service, whether that's entertainment, company, something to ease boredom/loneliness, sexuality, you're offering them something. You will meet some who will become genuine friends, but they will be few and far between and forming those friendships often takes a fair amount of time and energy, and you may well burn out from giving that energy to the wrong people. Most members even if they enjoy your chat are there for sexual services, don't delude yourself. And many will happily replace you with others when you no longer interest them or they get bored of you, so be careful about your own emotional attachments.
I'll give an example, I used to spend a LOT of time chatting offline to regulars, largely because I was lonely myself when I cammed. These members would tip me offline or online so they weren't using me for company and respected my job, however for the time I spent I definitely would have made more from live streaming. I left camming full time many years ago, I would say that only a few of these members I'd count as genuine friends still. We do keep in contact and some of them have been very generous with me without any expectation from me, and a couple I've met up with as our paths were crossing. Some members I am friendly with, if I come back to cam they tip and we have a good time, sometimes we enjoy a private show together, I like these members very much, but I am not sure I could consider them as friends. I mostly don't regret how friendly I was with members because in ways it does mean that when I return to camming I end up with an active group of people welcoming me back and I usually make a fair amount of money. However, I also had huge stresses in my time camming. I had fall outs with members, I had members who used me for emotional labour, ones who were manipulative etc. I've even had a case where a member I considered my best friend was convicted of a sexual offence and I never knew about it until I recognised his name in a paper. You do not know what the people who you speak to online are going through, not really. All you know is what they choose to tell you. In the end, as much as I had some wonderful regulars around, the negative experiences led to me burning out and having to leave the cam world, while models with better boundaries are persevering.

So word of warning, be careful on sneering at models calling those who visit them "members". That is what they are. They are strangers. You may become friends with some, but that'll take years, and you'll never really know until either you or they leave MFC. Having some boundaries with your regulars is a good thing, and keeping the term "friends" only for those who genuinely are isn't impersonal, it's genuine.
Just think if you were working in a pub and all of these regulars were random dudes coming in and chatting to you, would you be calling them "friends"? Probably not, because that would be really strange and inappropriate. Don't fall into the trap of thinking because you're a sex worker that you have to drop boundaries and prove you're not stealing people's money. These members knew exactly what they were getting involved in when they chose to join a camsite and buy tokens.
 

AudriTwo

Cam Model
Jul 25, 2014
6,961
25,312
293
Twitter Username
@audritwo
Streamate Username
audritwo
I'm gonna try really hard not to get angry or mean, because that OP kinda irked me. *Breathe*

Every model has a different approach to camming. And it's shitty to look down on others because their methods are different from yours. If a model is more comfortable being friendly or friends with their members (because that's what they are, members on a camsite) neat. hope she is getting paid appropriately for her services. If another model is a cold hard bitch and tells members she only cares about their money, neat. Hope she is getting paid appropriately for her services.

Stop judging or even worry about what other models are doing. Your tone is coming off bitter towards them because you view their cams as "less real."

Any site you are on you hear the same chicken little song and dance for years. "The site is dead, can't make money, such and such models are ruining the culture" truth be told if a site is able to pay their models on time, then they aren't dead.
 

Danigirl

Cam Model
Jan 16, 2019
1,341
4,766
53
Sigh. Protecting one’s self as a model isn’t less “real” than a newbie model who thinks they have it figured out and is sooo much different than the norm. Don’t know if you’re a newbie but the post makes it sound like it. I don’t know any model who has been successful for 3+ years that doesn’t protect her emotional labor and emotional health. You will burn out hard in this biz if you aren’t smart about how you approach your job. And that’s what it is. It’s my business. It’s how I make my money and afford early retirement and amazing experiences for my family. I wouldn’t do this for free that’s for sure. I’m not allowing myself to think of Tommygun576 as a personal friend and let him in close enough where he could do some damage. He is a member. He will be treated to laughter or jokes/conversation if that’s how the room is going. But he will not get close to the real Dani. That’s dangerous. I’m also not afraid to mute/ban anyone who crosses my lines and that would be hard if you consider them more friend than the impersonal “member” label. I dunno.
 

Gia666

Deactivated Account
Oct 29, 2019
71
34
6
This is so wonderful that you can feel fulfilled and accomplished simply from making people happy. I also appreciate that I make people happy when doing my job... but for me, this is a JOB. I have a busy family and social life off cam, so when I'm logged in, I can be friendly all day but I better be making money while doing it. This isn't a hobby, I'm not here to make friends or find a boyfriend. I think it's important that members understand that while there are some models with your attitude, we should not ALL be expected to share your same level of chill. The rest of us aren't greedy and heartless. We're working. This is how I feed my family. If I'm on for more than 30 minutes without making money, I'm out. Doesn't matter how many people wanna sit there and stare at me for free.
I totally agree, even though I value chat, time is money. And it takes more energy and effort than people think to be friendly and talkative on cam. Our time is not free.
 

Valentina

Cam Model
Nov 9, 2013
1,677
5,641
213
I thought this post would piss me off but it didn’t.

If someone wants to be niave enough to think these horny guys feel the same way then you’ll end up broke, undervalued and quite frankly violated in the end.

And believe me I had to learn that the hard way and it sounds like you will too.

edit - Perhaps if you don’t care about money from your “friends” you should just go on tinder? There’s guys there who will talk, laugh and appreciate you also. Except you won’t need to take money from your friends or get naked for your friends. Just an idea.
 

Gia666

Deactivated Account
Oct 29, 2019
71
34
6
I have had users on CB tell me they love me. 3 users in the last year professed their love and I spent hours talking to them on the phone (in paid shows). and then just ghosted me without a word. I know do not believe anything any user tells me. They support you , till they don’t. They “love” you till they don’t. Your the greatest till they find their new eye candy or get bored. Yes these guys on cam sites get bored very easily and just find a newbie. But it would be nice if when a long supporting member disappears that they at least pop in and tell you why. I mean I always wonder if I did something, or what happened to them.
 
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Oct 5, 2016
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I have had users on CB tell me they love me. 3 users in the last year professed their love and I spent hours talking to them on the phone (in paid shows). and then just ghosted me without a word. I know do not believe anything any user tells me. They support you , till they don’t. They “love” you till they don’t. Your the greatest till they find their new eye candy or get bored. Yes these guys on cam sites get bored very easily and just find a newbie. But it would be nice if when a long supporting member disappears that they at least pop in and tell you why. I mean I always wonder if I did something, or what happened to them.

That's not really fair. This is fantasy entertainment, the member can engage in escapism as much as the models and can develop personas to protect themselves just like models. The reason member don't say goodbye is models reactions to it are 90% toxic to it.

Also even if a member told you why THEY are leaving it would only be one individual opinion and might not be a consistent reason for your other regulars. That said finding out what draws regulars to you BEFORE you reach that point is a littler easier than waiting till shit goes down. Also some people use words with zero weight. I know people were EVERYONE is their best friend and they love everyone.

Or they can be non native English speaker that know these words as 'things you say when you leave to make others happy' with no real understanding on the connotation around them.
 

Danigirl

Cam Model
Jan 16, 2019
1,341
4,766
53
That's not really fair. This is fantasy entertainment, the member can engage in escapism as much as the models and can develop personas to protect themselves just like models. The reason member don't say goodbye is models reactions to it are 90% toxic to it.

Also even if a member told you why THEY are leaving it would only be one individual opinion and might not be a consistent reason for your other regulars. That said finding out what draws regulars to you BEFORE you reach that point is a littler easier than waiting till shit goes down. Also some people use words with zero weight. I know people were EVERYONE is their best friend and they love everyone.

Or they can be non native English speaker that know these words as 'things you say when you leave to make others happy' with no real understanding on the connotation around them.
Or, they have a freakin hard on and don’t think about anything or anyone other than what makes their wittle dicky wicky happy
 

KristinKervz

Cam Model
Mar 9, 2011
1,371
2,415
213
32
Florida
KervyFans.com
Twitter Username
@KristinKervzBBW
Tumblr Username
KristinKervz
Streamate Username
KristinKervz
Chaturbate Username
KristinKervz
ManyVids URL
https://www.manyvids.com/Profile/466735/Kristin-Kervz/
That's not really fair. This is fantasy entertainment, the member can engage in escapism as much as the models and can develop personas to protect themselves just like models. The reason member don't say goodbye is models reactions to it are 90% toxic to it.

Also even if a member told you why THEY are leaving it would only be one individual opinion and might not be a consistent reason for your other regulars. That said finding out what draws regulars to you BEFORE you reach that point is a littler easier than waiting till shit goes down. Also some people use words with zero weight. I know people were EVERYONE is their best friend and they love everyone.

Or they can be non native English speaker that know these words as 'things you say when you leave to make others happy' with no real understanding on the connotation around them.


I believe it's completely fair. I automatically assume that all members are fantasizing and roleplaying, I don't really take anything they say seriously, until they actively, consistently, intentionally show me that they are serious. Just like models shouldn't manipulate members and claim they're in love, members shouldn't do that to models either. We are only human and if someone abandons us, we are allowed to feel sad. If you don't want a model acting "toxic" when you say goodbye, you shouldn't have tried so hard to get her to trust you and took things out of professional levels and into personal ones.
 

Gia666

Deactivated Account
Oct 29, 2019
71
34
6
Yes, models are human too. When a member tells you over a long period of time how deeply they care about you (outside of the platform your working on) and then one day just disappears, I’m suppose to just think it was a fantasy?
i mean a fantasy to me is like role play or something like that. I just take it all with a grain of salt now. Cuz members will tell you just about anything when they are horny.
 
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