How to gracefully accept help($$) from members

[LillyAllaire]

Hey girlies!
I recently started skyping with a member who likes to buy me things. He just sent me a message saying to let him know if I need anything because he loves to help.

I'm actually super strapped for cash right now and I would like to take advantage off this haha. However, and I know this is not a good characteristic of a cam girl, I'm afraid to actually ask. I don't ask for tips directly in my room because it makes me uncomfortable.

How do I get over this? And if I was going to ask for something specifically, how should I ask? just directly or like "oh it would be great to have some extra grocery money" or something?
If anyone has experience with this, can you let me know how you went about it? I just want to find a way to do it gracefully I guess.

Thanks!

 

[ZoeBanx]

do you really need groceries and stuff or are you trying to get cash? i know a lot of guys are weird about giving straight money/tokens because they want to know they are actually helping and not supporting a potential drug addiction or deadbeat boyfriend or whatever else they think we might do with it idk. if you ask for gift cards instead at places like target or whole foods, i think that sounds nicer, even better you can send him pics of what you bought. not really sure how to ask for $$ besides just doing it and hoping for the best

 

[Pure_emotion]

Ahh I want one of those too ! LOL

 

[Miss_Lollipop]

Hey girlies!
I recently started skyping with a member who likes to buy me things. He just sent me a message saying to let him know if I need anything because he loves to help.

I'm actually super strapped for cash right now and I would like to take advantage off this haha. However, and I know this is not a good characteristic of a cam girl, I'm afraid to actually ask. I don't ask for tips directly in my room because it makes me uncomfortable.

How do I get over this? And if I was going to ask for something specifically, how should I ask? just directly or like "oh it would be great to have some extra grocery money" or something?
If anyone has experience with this, can you let me know how you went about it? I just want to find a way to do it gracefully I guess.

Thanks!

So, I think asking for tips is something that its a good idea to get comfortable with in your room. You are at your job, doing your job and you deserve to be paid for it. At one of my favourite wine spots the band comes around after each set with a bucket asking for tips for the band. They hope you'll get up and put something in the bucket, but they will go around and make it a little more 'in your face' so you tip. At my fav burlesque between each act, they'll make a funny show out of asking for tips. Even in the bathrooms here they have bathroom attendants that have little signs that say "i work for tips". It's ok to remind people that you're here to be paid.. Finding a funny or entertaining way to do it can make this easier. I have a silly tradition where when things get slow, I turn around and shake my ass at the cam and say "hmm no tokens in a while? Lets see if theres any stuck in my butt" and usually a few tippers will start a little yellow shower. It's silly, and i keep shaking it till all the tokens are done 'falling out of my butt'. I don't have to say "HEY GUYS YOU"RE BEING CHEAP ASSES SO FUCKING TIP ME FOR MY TIME" but they get the idea.

Regarding accepting help without conditions - the best way I have found to handle the types of members that really just WANT to help is two fold:

1) Remind yourself that this is what they're specifically looking for. Members like the one that has approached you have specifically offered and said they love to help. Believe them. Being generous makes you feel good inside, it sometimes assuages the shame some people feel about going to sex workers for services, and it is its own reward. If he likes to help, let him.

2) Make it into an exchange. No one likes to feel like a charity case. When you ask for help, or when someone gives you something and asks for nothing in return make sure that you give them something back. Write them a long thank you letter, send them a thank you card with a photo, send them some videos, add them to your snapchat... or quite simply, give them your time. Many of the people that say they just want to help actually mean they're looking for an authentic connection outside of the "open tits for 20tks" type of situation on MFC. If you're comfortable forming connections and bonds with members, these are the types of members that usually look for it. Your time and companionship is one thing you can give that turns this into an exchange.

 

[Puffin]

Hey girlies!
I recently started skyping with a member who likes to buy me things. He just sent me a message saying to let him know if I need anything because he loves to help.

I'm actually super strapped for cash right now and I would like to take advantage off this haha. However, and I know this is not a good characteristic of a cam girl, I'm afraid to actually ask. I don't ask for tips directly in my room because it makes me uncomfortable.

How do I get over this? And if I was going to ask for something specifically, how should I ask? just directly or like "oh it would be great to have some extra grocery money" or something?
If anyone has experience with this, can you let me know how you went about it? I just want to find a way to do it gracefully I guess.

Thanks!

How to ask for things in life, without asking.

I would appreciate it if ........

Example in a cam room.
i.e. I would appreciate it if we could finish the countdown so I can do the [oil/dance/strip] show.

And as this member has offer to help
I would appreciate it if you could help me .........
example: I would appreciate it if you could help me with some extra grocery money.

 

[LillyAllaire]

So, I think asking for tips is something that its a good idea to get comfortable with in your room. You are at your job, doing your job and you deserve to be paid for it. At one of my favourite wine spots the band comes around after each set with a bucket asking for tips for the band. They hope you'll get up and put something in the bucket, but they will go around and make it a little more 'in your face' so you tip. At my fav burlesque between each act, they'll make a funny show out of asking for tips. Even in the bathrooms here they have bathroom attendants that have little signs that say "i work for tips". It's ok to remind people that you're here to be paid.. Finding a funny or entertaining way to do it can make this easier. I have a silly tradition where when things get slow, I turn around and shake my ass at the cam and say "hmm no tokens in a while? Lets see if theres any stuck in my butt" and usually a few tippers will start a little yellow shower. It's silly, and i keep shaking it till all the tokens are done 'falling out of my butt'. I don't have to say "HEY GUYS YOU"RE BEING CHEAP ASSES SO FUCKING TIP ME FOR MY TIME" but they get the idea.

Regarding accepting help without conditions - the best way I have found to handle the types of members that really just WANT to help is two fold:

1) Remind yourself that this is what they're specifically looking for. Members like the one that has approached you have specifically offered and said they love to help. Believe them. Being generous makes you feel good inside, it sometimes assuages the shame some people feel about going to sex workers for services, and it is its own reward. If he likes to help, let him.

2) Make it into an exchange. No one likes to feel like a charity case. When you ask for help, or when someone gives you something and asks for nothing in return make sure that you give them something back. Write them a long thank you letter, send them a thank you card with a photo, send them some videos, add them to your snapchat... or quite simply, give them your time. Many of the people that say they just want to help actually mean they're looking for an authentic connection outside of the "open tits for 20tks" type of situation on MFC. If you're comfortable forming connections and bonds with members, these are the types of members that usually look for it. Your time and companionship is one thing you can give that turns this into an exchange.

Thank you! You always leave such great advice on this forum so I'm thrilled you responded.
He definitely wants a connection. I haven't been open to it (with anyone) up until now so I think I'm realizing how much of a gray area it can be. On the one hand, he pays me for my time, but then he'll send me a tip after skyping in addition. So I'm finding it difficult to distinguish between giving back for the tip vs an exchange that we agreed upon. We do chat on on kik and I enjoy talking to him. I'm just a little worried I won't be able to adequately reciprocate... But, I'll take your advice and let him help and do the best I can.

 

[LillyAllaire]

How to ask for things in life, without asking.

I would appreciate it if ........

Example in a cam room.
i.e. I would appreciate it if we could finish the countdown so I can do the [oil/dance/strip] show.

And as this member has offer to help
I would appreciate it if you could help me .........
example: I would appreciate it if you could help me with some extra grocery money.

Thanks! That makes it super simple lol