I cam in disguise. Should I tell my new partner I moonlight as a cam girl?

[Deleted member 55529]

I am so late to the party here, but I feel your pain. I was seeing a guy once, and I brought up sex work. I mentioned modelling first, and his response was 'well, at least you're not one of those slut cam girls.' I ran a bloody mile. It was actually quite hurtful too, because I didn't think he was like that. When i first started camming, my boyfriend at the time said that there must be something wrong with me mentally to be able to cam. Foolishly, I stuck around. It's a tricky one, and I have never managed to find someone who accepted it...

You did well. I never had an issue even when I did all sorts of sex work. And I also not meet a lot of people (I'm not really outgoing). First I check they are socially liberal if they want to date me. They need to agree with decriminalizing sex work and weed, same sex marriage, not very religious.

 

[Deleted member 55529]

I am so late to the party here, but I feel your pain. I was seeing a guy once, and I brought up sex work. I mentioned modelling first, and his response was 'well, at least you're not one of those slut cam girls.' I ran a bloody mile. It was actually quite hurtful too, because I didn't think he was like that. When i first started camming, my boyfriend at the time said that there must be something wrong with me mentally to be able to cam. Foolishly, I stuck around. It's a tricky one, and I have never managed to find someone who accepted it...

You did well. I never had an issue even when I did all sorts of sex work. And I also not meet a lot of people (I'm not really outgoing). First I check they are socially liberal if they want to date me. They need to agree with decriminalizing sex work and weed, same sex marriage

Yeah it was like we'd been married years and I had said I was shagging his best mate behind his back, or something heinous. We've seen each other on 7 occasions. That is all. It was just the beginning.

The irony is he is 43, had just revealed he is so broke he's moving in with his parents, plus admitted he has an alcohol problem; the weekend before this past one he'd drank 5,Yes 5, small/medium bottles of vodka alone in his house. I was horrifed. Apparently one wasn't enough but he didn't want to buy a big bottle (because then he couldn't delude himself) so he kept going back to the shop to buy more small bottles once he'd finished. To me, that is far far far bigger an issue than the fact I get naked online. That is an alcohol problem.

At first he even said 'I have a problem with alcohol; I hold my hands up to that.' But when I asked: 'Well what are you going to do about it; what's your plan in regards to your finances and this drinking?' He got extremely defensive and kept trying to negate how serious it was, saying "But they were small bottles! Brad (his best mate) says I don't even drink as much as him anyway."

Erm, no, dude. No. Good god I really did dodge a bullet didn't I?

I never date broke. They need to have $ because I'm used to men paying for my companionship. Good you left him. Lol

 

[Deleted member 55529]

Average woman or man cam work it's taboo. As a SW you end up dating people who are different from average and that's great.

 

[Deleted member 57880]

I might be wrong actually. It would be better to disclose it as you would be deceiving your partner if they had issues with it. Most cam models don't wear disguises and must get occasionally recognised. Nothing to be ashamed of. If it was me I would keep it a secret if I wore a disguise awhile camming, but each to their own.

It was a tough one for me, for sure. Initially I thought I didn't need to tell him as I cammed in disguise, ergo, I am performing/playing a persona to some extent....however, I felt guilty not telling him as well,, after every time we saw each other. I am not good at keeping secrets either, so I knew after a few drinks one day I might blurt it out. It's fair enough that he doens't like it at all, and I have to respect that. I know he has issues also going on (finances/drinking) so to be fair between the pair of us it was not the most auspicious start really! Anyway thank you for your replies; I appreciate them .

 

[Deleted member 57880]

Average woman or man cam work it's taboo. As a SW you end up dating people who are different from average and that's great.

True, very true. I would like to date a fellow SW ideally, or someone who has dated a SW before. Maybe in time. Right now I am staying away from romance

 

[Deleted member 57880]

I havent read the whole thread in detail althouhg i saw some of the guys replies about funding you to stop camming if i'm not mistaking which is wrong in many ways.

I feel like being a cammodel still too much of a mystery and very niche for an everyday person to understand and accept it. I fully understand his reaction being blown away by the reveal and cam models like myself fully understand this reaction out of a 'privilidged' perspective. Would i have reacted in a way my world fell apart before i started camming of i heard it of the person i'm dating? Likely yes. Would I now? Totally not.

But this goes with all sorts of work in a way in different ways. Think about med people or engineers being nerds, sportspeople being flirts/less intelegent people, influencers being cheap lowlifers, ... I'm not saying we all have prejudice but we all might have wrong ideos about other professions, hobbies, interests,..

I'll not take his side however i feel like I can understand his world falling apart kinda at first

Yes it is such a niche career and you are right; before I entered this world I knew little about it and I think I made particular assumptions due to my lack of knowledge. I can't expect someone I just started dating to understand my perspective. And despite his melodramatic texts etc, I believe he was genuinely absolutely floored at the revelation. You are so right that we have misconceptions about industries etc. Thank you

 

[Chojin]

I haven't read the thread, but if he had financiaI problems and was an alcoholic then good riddance! You would of had nothing but problems down the road.

 

[Chojin]

Also, if you told a partner and they seemed ok with it, they might not be really. Then you won't really know what their thinking as they could have a hidden resentment. That's why I wouldn't say anything.

 

[Deleted member 57880]

I haven't read the thread, but if he had financiaI problems and was an alcoholic then good riddance! You would of had nothing but problems down the road.

My mum said exactly this actually!

 

[Deleted member 57880]

Also, if you told a partner and they seemed ok with it, they might not be really. Then you won't really know what their thinking as they could have a hidden resentment. That's why I wouldn't say anything.

There might be someone one day who is totally cool with it, which would be perfect! For now though, I am going to set aside affairs of the heart and get busy busy busy working! I have a course in Platonic Touch Therapy aka professional cuddling (no joke!) that I wnat to do soon, so that I can become a professional cuddler after covid. I kid ye not . So I am going to do that as well as a general massage therapy course or two, and then become a certified masseuse and platonic touch therapist from home!

 

[Deleted member 55529]

There might be someone one day who is totally cool with it, which would be perfect! For now though, I am going to set aside affairs of the heart and get busy busy busy working! I have a course in Platonic Touch Therapy aka professional cuddling (no joke!) that I wnat to do soon, so that I can become a professional cuddler after covid. I kid ye not . So I am going to do that as well as a general massage therapy course or two, and then become a certified masseuse and platonic touch therapist from home!

True. That happened to me. They might be ok in theory but not in practice. Just part of the hassle of being a SW.

 

[AmazingAlexaNY]

hmmm i wonder how can you disguise your-self so no-one would recognize you. is that even possible i have a friend who wants to cam... i just told her not to if shes fears being recognized. i wish assholes would not record us. oh well cruel world we live in. my friend is only 18 i don't think shes ready for all the trolls and bull-shit up to her of course i was just looking out for her so i told her not too.