Met a cam model on tinder, difficulties ensued, seeking advice.

[Hresh08]

As stated above, I met this girl on tinder, not twitter as i mistyped on the title, a while back, things happened and we lost contact, but we have recently started talking again. I can give more details, but they might reveal who she is, and I don't want the negative attention on her. Suffice it to say: we both missed each other, and are glad to be back together. Sorry, my thoughts are a mess right now, but I am lost and seeking advice.

The issue I am facing currently is this: due to the same reason we lost contact, now we are only able to talk for *maybe an hour each day, if we're lucky. She still works online, and she only talks to me when shes not exhausted from work. I've tried giving her understanding and space while also reminding her that I'm still here. She had to move away while she applies for her visa here to the U.S., which has also strained things. Things were really good before that. In case its brought up, no she doesn't ask me for money, or guilt trip me in to paying for cam sessions or anything like that. She actually has stated she doesn't want me to see her on cam at all. Anyway. With being able to talk so little, and her being online for millions of people to see for multiple hours a day, i am feeling a little forgotten and not appreciated. I know, that sounds terrible because she is not "seeing" those guys online, and she is just working, but I cant control my feelings. I have not told her this because i do not want to guilt trip her, and i dont want her to feel like i dont understand the difference.

Is there any models here who can give me some advice on how to broach the subject, or at least how to help her understand that i need to more of her? not on cam mind you, but texting, talking, etc, more than the 1 hour of time a day i get, if i'm lucky.

if more information is needed, i'll answer questions.

 

[HeadyRaven]

things happened and we lost contact

What sorts of things? Can you be a little more specific?

glad to be back together

Are you together? Another part of your message suggests this is a long distance situation. Or do you mean "together" more in word rather than in deed right now?

She had to move away while she applies for her visa here to the U.S.

So was she originally in the US? And you interacted in person and now you no longer do?

not on cam mind you, but texting, talking, etc

If you are "together" and there is some sort of understanding, can you not discuss your needs and wishes with her?

There is some vagueness to the story, but it comes across like you might be more invested in this situation than her. But it's hard to know... Of course, if she's extremely busy with her work and day-to-day life, 1 hour per day of her time (if that is what she is currently devoting exclusively to communicating you, outside of any sites) is generous. (In my opinion)

 

[Hresh08]

What sorts of things? Can you be a little more specific?

She had to move back to her home country to await her visa. very near the time that happened, all of her stuff was stolen, and we lost contact for approximately 8 months.

Are you together? Another part of your message suggests this is a long distance situation. Or do you mean "together" more in word rather than in deed right now?

Yes, she has referred to me as her bf, and likewise, i have referred to her as my gf. this is a long distance situation.

So was she originally in the US? And you interacted in person and now you no longer do?

Correct. we never actually met in person, just chatted over text. she was here on a temp visa, and when she met me, she decided to try for the permanent one, not knowing initially that she had to leave the country while doing so.

If you are "together" and there is some sort of understanding, can you not discuss your needs and wishes with her?

Yes, kind of. I found her and we began talking again a couple of months ago, but she did not have a phone initially and she did not want to talk about serious relationship stuff while she was working (our only means of communication at the time, and totally understandable) she just got a phone a couple of weeks ago, but then was hospitalized for a week. She did not talk to me during that time, and since the hospitalization, she has been weak and needing of rest, so we havent talked much even aside from that. I tried bringing up some of my needs, like trading an emergency contact in case she or i got hospitalized again, and she said ok, but then stopped talking to me. The next couple of days was little to no talking (sick and weak still), and today she slammed me with "this is a little invasive" before i could even talk to her more about our relationship and express my needs.

There is some vagueness to the story, but it comes across like you might be more invested in this situation than her. But it's hard to know... Of course, if she's extremely busy with her work and day-to-day life, 1 hour per day of her time (if that is what she is currently devoting exclusively to communicating you, outside of any sites) is generous. (In my opinion)

I have had the same thought, and its had me doubting the relationship, but we have both been through some stuff, so I'm trying to give her the benefit of the doubt. the 1 hour a day thing, thats if im lucky. most days i dont even get a text. other than when she's mad at me, she on average sends me 1 text every 24-36 hours. I did communicate my need to hear from her at least once a day, and she said "im very busy, so we'll see"

 

[Miss_Lollipop]

have you met in person?

 

[BlueEyezIrish]

As stated above, I met this girl on tinder, not twitter as i mistyped on the title, a while back, things happened and we lost contact, but we have recently started talking again. I can give more details, but they might reveal who she is, and I don't want the negative attention on her. Suffice it to say: we both missed each other, and are glad to be back together. Sorry, my thoughts are a mess right now, but I am lost and seeking advice.

The issue I am facing currently is this: due to the same reason we lost contact, now we are only able to talk for *maybe an hour each day, if we're lucky. She still works online, and she only talks to me when shes not exhausted from work. I've tried giving her understanding and space while also reminding her that I'm still here. She had to move away while she applies for her visa here to the U.S., which has also strained things. Things were really good before that. In case its brought up, no she doesn't ask me for money, or guilt trip me in to paying for cam sessions or anything like that. She actually has stated she doesn't want me to see her on cam at all. Anyway. With being able to talk so little, and her being online for millions of people to see for multiple hours a day, i am feeling a little forgotten and not appreciated. I know, that sounds terrible because she is not "seeing" those guys online, and she is just working, but I cant control my feelings. I have not told her this because i do not want to guilt trip her, and i dont want her to feel like i dont understand the difference.

Is there any models here who can give me some advice on how to broach the subject, or at least how to help her understand that i need to more of her? not on cam mind you, but texting, talking, etc, more than the 1 hour of time a day i get, if i'm lucky.

if more information is needed, i'll answer questions.

An hour is a Huge amount of time. Women don’t need more than a few min with a long distance relationship after everything has already been discussed and new topics are very hard to think of. 16 min max to chat or whatever it is you do. As time goes by you lucky you get 10
Min with a Cam Model long distance relationship. She has bills to pay and money is not guaranteed to be great every day . There is stress that comes with it and mental health issues too. Be grateful for what you got

 

[Miss_Lollipop]

An hour is a Huge amount of time. Women don’t need more than a few min with a long distance relationship after everything has already been discussed and new topics are very hard to think of. 16 min max to chat or whatever it is you do. As time goes by you lucky you get 10
Min with a Cam Model long distance relationship. She has bills to pay and money is not guaranteed to be great every day . There is stress that comes with it and mental health issues too. Be grateful for what you got

…. Women don’t need more than a few minutes??? Haha speak for yourself I was sleeping on the phone calls with my long distance partners. Haven run out of topics to talk about either.. I want a partner who I can talk to for dayssssss.

 

[MarieElise]

As stated above, I met this girl on tinder, not twitter as i mistyped on the title, a while back, things happened and we lost contact, but we have recently started talking again. I can give more details, but they might reveal who she is, and I don't want the negative attention on her. Suffice it to say: we both missed each other, and are glad to be back together. Sorry, my thoughts are a mess right now, but I am lost and seeking advice.

The issue I am facing currently is this: due to the same reason we lost contact, now we are only able to talk for *maybe an hour each day, if we're lucky. She still works online, and she only talks to me when shes not exhausted from work. I've tried giving her understanding and space while also reminding her that I'm still here. She had to move away while she applies for her visa here to the U.S., which has also strained things. Things were really good before that. In case its brought up, no she doesn't ask me for money, or guilt trip me in to paying for cam sessions or anything like that. She actually has stated she doesn't want me to see her on cam at all. Anyway. With being able to talk so little, and her being online for millions of people to see for multiple hours a day, i am feeling a little forgotten and not appreciated. I know, that sounds terrible because she is not "seeing" those guys online, and she is just working, but I cant control my feelings. I have not told her this because i do not want to guilt trip her, and i dont want her to feel like i dont understand the difference.

Is there any models here who can give me some advice on how to broach the subject, or at least how to help her understand that i need to more of her? not on cam mind you, but texting, talking, etc, more than the 1 hour of time a day i get, if i'm lucky.

if more information is needed, i'll answer questions.

I’m curious before I come to any conclusions here or have any opinions; are you saying you met her on tinder as her cam persona? Or are you saying you met her on tinder separately, and as the relationship progressed she let you know she works as a cam model?

I think it’s understandable to have the feelings you are having. I do think the story needs padded out a bit more though, because I’m not sure what to think here.

 

[Hresh08]

have you met in person?

No. I tried, but due to her visa status, she wanted to wait. she said that if we did meet, it would just crush her when she had to go back to her country of origin.

 

[Hresh08]

An hour is a Huge amount of time. Women don’t need more than a few min with a long distance relationship after everything has already been discussed and new topics are very hard to think of. 16 min max to chat or whatever it is you do. As time goes by you lucky you get 10
Min with a Cam Model long distance relationship. She has bills to pay and money is not guaranteed to be great every day . There is stress that comes with it and mental health issues too. Be grateful for what you got

An hour is indeed a huge amount of time. I would consider myself lucky if i got that. but i further stated in another one comment, its usually one text every 24 to 36 hours. unless i visited her on cam, to which i am now being told to never do, the only conversation we had was me asking how her day was/if she made it home safe (she lives in a dangerous area), and she would sometimes respond within 12 hours, sometimes within 24 hours, and sometimes within 36 hours.

 

[Hresh08]

I’m curious before I come to any conclusions here or have any opinions; are you saying you met her on tinder as her cam persona? Or are you saying you met her on tinder separately, and as the relationship progressed she let you know she works as a cam model?

I think it’s understandable to have the feelings you are having. I do think the story needs padded out a bit more though, because I’m not sure what to think here.

Yeah sorry, i kept it low on details to try and keep some semblance of privacy for her. Yes though: we met on tinder, and then she later told me that she works as a cam model. She gave me an easy out of the relationship at this point. I already liked her though with the conversations we had had previously, so I kept with it. I told her that she was a cam model before our relationship so i had no right to make her stop, and I could accept it. The only stipulation being that she remembered that we were in a relationship and that no infidelity would be occurring. we had both been cheated on in the past, so she agreed wholeheartedly. I know my response to her being a cam model isnt super enthusiastic, but she kinda surprised me with it right before i was going to ask her out on a real date. Also, i know the things a cam model has to go through, so i wasnt thrilled about her having to deal with that stuff, so i was worried about her.

 

[Miss_Lollipop]

No. I tried, but due to her visa status, she wanted to wait. she said that if we did meet, it would just crush her when she had to go back to her country of origin.

She’s not your gf then. This is not a relationship, you’re getting almost no time, and you’ve never met her.

Most likely a scam or a long con, or maybe she’s looking for a green card but best case she’s just not that interested.. that’s why she’s giving you so little time.

Just walk away

 

[yummybrownfox]

From what I am reading, it doesn’t sound like she’s really your girlfriend…despite the fact that you two talk daily for a whole hour. That’s how long I used to be on the phone with this last guy I was talking to, but he wasn’t a boyfriend. He was just a friend/fwb.

 

[Wuggie]

.... I did communicate my need to hear from her at least once a day, and she said "im very busy, so we'll see"

Have you heard about the expression "No one is ever too busy. You're just not important enough." ?

I would walk away from this, don't fool yourself into thinking it's a relationship, if it is, it would be a toxic one as your needs are clearly not important enough.. I have someone that I talk to that's a cam model off site, and we talk way more than 1 text every 24 - 36 hours that's for sure, and that's NOT a relationship.. when I had a long distance relationship with a cam model, we talked for HOURS when she was not working, and she would text me while working through different apps whenever she had any time while being on cam (not on the sites, but things like whatsapp, skype, messenger etc) - as Miss_llollipop said, walk away

 

[Maxi]

Women don’t need more than a few min

Ooooo, they don’t..? Well, that sounds like a great foundation for any start to any relationship.

 

[Vixxen81]

Yeah she's just not that into you. You've probably been throwing soft red flags and she's trying to get away. Let her go.

 

[misterical]

Not your girlfriend I'm afraid. I'm not entirely sure what she is but she's definitely not in love with you. I think you're confusing us slightly though, because you claim to talk for an hour a day but then later suggest she can send you a text every 24-36 hours.

You shouldn't really need a forum full of people to tell you any of this stuff.

A question though, are you named as a sponsor on a visa application or anything like that?

 

[misterical]

I did communicate my need to hear from her at least once a day, and she said "im very busy, so we'll see"

 

[Highlander884]

I met apparently a camgirl on tinder locally.
We were talking on tinder and she said to me that I should know she does adult webcaming and I told her it didn't bother me and I was viewer on cb and asked if she was on there.
Her response was "great, how about I tell my mod that I can't come online tonite and we can meet up"
I said sure and whereabouts she wanted to meet?
Her reply was "its £140 a night, I do oral, vaginal but not anal".
After that comment I apologised and said that I think we misunderstood each other and left it at that.
Another time came across a casual photo of a camgirl I followed on there. I let her know about it, knowing that the profile was most likely fake. Said the photo she did for a company she used to work for, to be sold on to other companies to use wherever. Bothered her though was that they used her real first name.

After those 2 situations I decided not to use tinder again or any dating app, think I rather get to know a girl in person now.

 

[AmberCutie]

She’s not your gf then. This is not a relationship, you’re getting almost no time, and you’ve never met her.

Most likely a scam or a long con, or maybe she’s looking for a green card but best case she’s just not that interested.. that’s why she’s giving you so little time.

Just walk away

100% this ^

also, there's a good chance she was never even in the USA, the hospital, or on Tinder for the right reason. As noted above, SWs use Tinder as a way to find tippers/customers, and I think she hooked you into her ploy, @Hresh08.

Get out before you get deeper into it.

 

[inertvolcano]

See if anything in this thread sounds familiar.

 

[misterical]

A thought for the OP. You are clouding the issue a bit here by posting on a cam forum, simply because she is a cam model. She's not ghosting you because she's a cam model. She's ghosting you because she's ghosting you (for whatever reason).

You seem to be looking for some cam-model specific answer for why this is happening and in reality it's not related. Try posting this same thread in a general relationship forum and people will tell you the same thing. At worst it's some kind of long con, at best she's just not into you but is too polite to tell you to fuck off.

 

[Hresh08]

She’s not your gf then. This is not a relationship, you’re getting almost no time, and you’ve never met her.

fair.

Most likely a scam or a long con, or maybe she’s looking for a green card but best case she’s just not that interested.. that’s why she’s giving you so little time.

She is getting the green card on her own, she insisted on doing it on her own without me, so that she didnt have the stigma attached to spouse greencards.

Just walk away

I'll give it some serious thought. I was already on the border before posting this.

 

[Hresh08]

From what I am reading, it doesn’t sound like she’s really your girlfriend…despite the fact that you two talk daily for a whole hour. That’s how long I used to be on the phone with this last guy I was talking to, but he wasn’t a boyfriend. He was just a friend/fwb.

There seems to be a common misunderstanding here: i said i was *lucky if i got an hour. I rarely get that. I got one hour of talking time in the last week, other than her being mad at me. but fair enough on the rest.

 

[Hresh08]

Have you heard about the expression "No one is ever too busy. You're just not important enough." ?

I would walk away from this, don't fool yourself into thinking it's a relationship, if it is, it would be a toxic one as your needs are clearly not important enough.. I have someone that I talk to that's a cam model off site, and we talk way more than 1 text every 24 - 36 hours that's for sure, and that's NOT a relationship.. when I had a long distance relationship with a cam model, we talked for HOURS when she was not working, and she would text me while working through different apps whenever she had any time while being on cam (not on the sites, but things like whatsapp, skype, messenger etc) - as Miss_llollipop said, walk away

Thanks, as i replied to Miss_lollipop, I'll give it some serious thought. i just need some time to think about everything and get my head on straight.

 

[Highlander884]

Thanks, as i replied to Miss_lollipop, I'll give it some serious thought. i just need some time to think about everything and get my head on straight.

Just do the thinking away from her.

 

[misterical]

There seems to be a common misunderstanding here: i said i was *lucky if i got an hour. I rarely get that. I got one hour of talking time in the last week, other than her being mad at me. but fair enough on the rest.

If you're not even getting an hour in a week then it's not a relationship of any kind. Why are you even still persisting?

 

[Hresh08]

Not your girlfriend I'm afraid. I'm not entirely sure what she is but she's definitely not in love with you. I think you're confusing us slightly though, because you claim to talk for an hour a day but then later suggest she can send you a text every 24-36 hours.

There seems to be a misconception here. I said i was *lucky if i got an hour a day. The one text 24-36 hours is the average experience.

You shouldn't really need a forum full of people to tell you any of this stuff.

The initial question wasn't over the points you made. it was over how to address it with her in a way that she wouldn't mistake me.

A question though, are you named as a sponsor on a visa application or anything like that?

No. she insisted i stay away from it, to avoid the stigma from getting a greencard that way.

 

[Hresh08]

100% this ^

also, there's a good chance she was never even in the USA, the hospital, or on Tinder for the right reason. As noted above, SWs use Tinder as a way to find tippers/customers, and I think she hooked you into her ploy, @Hresh08.

Get out before you get deeper into it.

Thanks for the advice. really, i know i dont seem emphatic in my response, but thank you.

 

[Hresh08]

See if anything in this thread sounds familiar.

I have to admit that things do. not the same of course, but very familiar.

 

[Hresh08]

If you're not even getting an hour in a week then it's not a relationship of any kind. Why are you even still persisting?

good point. thanks.