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MFC jokes?

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One common joke is coming up with alternate backronyms for MFC, like:

My Frozen Cams
My Fuckin Cams
Many Frequent Crashes

you get the general idea
 
To My Dear Wife,

You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 54 years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you and I value you as a good wife. Therefore, after reading this letter I hope you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with an 18 year old MFC cam model that also escorts. Please don’t be upset, I shall be back before midnight”.

When the man came home late that night he found the following letter on the dining room table:

To My Dear Husband,

I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about my being 54 years old. I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 54 years old. As you know, I am a math teacher at our local college.
I would like to inform you that while you read this, I will be at the Hotel Fiesta with Michael, one of my students, who is also the assistant tennis coach. He is young, virile, and like your MFC girl, he is 18 years old.

As a successful businessman with an excellent knowledge of math you will understand that we are in the same situation, although with one small difference; 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18.
Therefore I will not be home until sometime tomorrow.
 
Bocefish said:
To My Dear Wife,

You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 54 years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you and I value you as a good wife. Therefore, after reading this letter I hope you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with an 18 year old MFC cam model that also escorts. Please don’t be upset, I shall be back before midnight”.

When the man came home late that night he found the following letter on the dining room table:

To My Dear Husband,

I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about my being 54 years old. I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 54 years old. As you know, I am a math teacher at our local college.
I would like to inform you that while you read this, I will be at the Hotel Fiesta with Michael, one of my students, who is also the assistant tennis coach. He is young, virile, and like your MFC girl, he is 18 years old.

As a successful businessman with an excellent knowledge of math you will understand that we are in the same situation, although with one small difference; 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18.
Therefore I will not be home until sometime tomorrow.
Click to expand...
:lol:
 
Bocefish said:
To My Dear Wife,

You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 54 years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you and I value you as a good wife. Therefore, after reading this letter I hope you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with an 18 year old MFC cam model that also escorts. Please don’t be upset, I shall be back before midnight”.

When the man came home late that night he found the following letter on the dining room table:

To My Dear Husband,

I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about my being 54 years old. I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 54 years old. As you know, I am a math teacher at our local college.
I would like to inform you that while you read this, I will be at the Hotel Fiesta with Michael, one of my students, who is also the assistant tennis coach. He is young, virile, and like your MFC girl, he is 18 years old.

As a successful businessman with an excellent knowledge of math you will understand that we are in the same situation, although with one small difference; 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18.
Therefore I will not be home until sometime tomorrow.
Click to expand...

lmao :-D ... that is a really good one...
 
when i get the ass comment it sometimes goes like this.

Them- Ass bb
Me- My donkey is at the vets sweety

or

Me- I dont do animals.

Depending what mood im in :D (im english, i say arse lol)

i got this one a couple days ago that made me giggle.

Him- u dildo
Me- No, im not a dildo, sorry.
Him- i meant have you got a dildo?

My sarcasm can go on all through my shifts, its terrable, i need to stop!

jess xx
 
Bocefish said:
To My Dear Wife,

You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 54 years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you and I value you as a good wife. Therefore, after reading this letter I hope you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with an 18 year old MFC cam model that also escorts. Please don’t be upset, I shall be back before midnight”.

When the man came home late that night he found the following letter on the dining room table:

To My Dear Husband,

I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about my being 54 years old. I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 54 years old. As you know, I am a math teacher at our local college.
I would like to inform you that while you read this, I will be at the Hotel Fiesta with Michael, one of my students, who is also the assistant tennis coach. He is young, virile, and like your MFC girl, he is 18 years old.

As a successful businessman with an excellent knowledge of math you will understand that we are in the same situation, although with one small difference; 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18.
Therefore I will not be home until sometime tomorrow.
Click to expand...

hahaha :icon-lol: :icon-lol:
 
That's a variation on a Sophie Tucker joke. Sophie got her start with the Ziegfeld Follies. Sophie died in 1966 and there has never been anyone like her since.

The original goes something like this:
I will never forget it. It was on the occasion of Ernie's eightieth birthday and in honor of the occasion he married a twenty year old girl. And he rang me up the very next day and he said to me "Soph, Soph, I have just married myself a twenty year old girl, what do you think of that". And I said to him "Ernie when I am eighty years old I shall marry myself a twenty year old boy, and let me tell you something Ernie twenty goes into eighty a hell of a lot more than eighty goes into twenty.
Click to expand...

That's probably her best known dirty joke. Here are a couple more I heard in the 70s.
I was in bed last night with my boyfriend Ernie, and he said to me "Soph, you got no tits and a tight box". I said to him "Ernie get off my back.

I was in the woods last night with my boyfriend Ernie, and he said to me "Soph",(he always called me Soph),he said to me "Soph, these woods sure are dark I sure wish I had a flash light", I said to him "so do I Ernie. You have been munching grass for the last ten minutes."
Click to expand...
There's a really nice video on Youtube of Bette Midler doing a whole lot of her other jokes.



They're not well known anymore and absolutely filthy. I'm sure quite a few of them could be appropriated for the occasional cam show.
 
A new MFC studio cam model went to look for the studio manager a few hours after starting her first day on the job. She gestured alluringly to a bearded man who approached her immediately.

She seductively signaled that he should bring his face closer to hers.
As he did, she gently caressed his full beard.

"Are you the manager?" she asked, softly stroking his face with both hands. "Actually, no," he replied.

"Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she said, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair.

"I'm afraid I can't," breathed the bearded fellow... "Is there anything I can do?"

"Yes. I need you to give him a message," she continued, running her forefinger across his lip and slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.

"What should I tell him?" the guy managed to say.

"Tell him," she whispered, "there's no toilet paper, hand soap, or paper towels in the ladies room."
 
Bocefish said:
To My Dear Wife,

You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 54 years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you and I value you as a good wife. Therefore, after reading this letter I hope you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with an 18 year old MFC cam model that also escorts. Please don’t be upset, I shall be back before midnight”.

When the man came home late that night he found the following letter on the dining room table:

To My Dear Husband,

I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about my being 54 years old. I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 54 years old. As you know, I am a math teacher at our local college.
I would like to inform you that while you read this, I will be at the Hotel Fiesta with Michael, one of my students, who is also the assistant tennis coach. He is young, virile, and like your MFC girl, he is 18 years old.

As a successful businessman with an excellent knowledge of math you will understand that we are in the same situation, although with one small difference; 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18.
Therefore I will not be home until sometime tomorrow.
Click to expand...

rofl! :lol:
 
My darling husband,

Before you return from your business trip, I just want to let you know about the small accident I had with the pickup truck when I turned into the driveway.

Fortunately it's not too bad and I really didn't get hurt, so please don't worry too much about me.

I was coming home from Wal-Mart, and when I turned into the driveway I accidentally pushed down on the accelerator instead of the brake.

The garage door is slightly bent but fortunately the pick up came to a halt when it bumped into your car.

I am really sorry, but I know with your kind-hearted personality you will
forgive me. You know how much I love you and care for you my sweetheart.

I am enclosing a picture of the damage for you.

I cannot wait to hold you in my arms again.

Your loving wife.
XXX















8PUNX.jpg

P.S. Your girlfriend called and I also discovered and cancelled your MFC membership asshole!
 
Runts said:
Crappiest joke on MFC...

A cat walks by the cam. Some stupid premium says, "Nice pussy." The model fakes a laugh.
Click to expand...

I get that a lot since my cat is a camera whore, and after the 2nd "nice pussy" comment I get kinda pissed. Really guys? It's just a cat. Let it go.
 
lol i still make the pussy joke alot myself.. when people begg for my pussy i just pull one of a chat and say mm bb here's my pussy like it?
 
Yeah, seriously. MFC isn't exactly the Algonquin fucking round table. If you can't make stupid sex jokes on a cam site, where the fuck can you? As far as I'm concerned, any jokes that don't disrespect the model or other people are fine. Guests and basics aren't really people, so they're fair game, too.
 
A husband and wife (MFC Model) are sitting quietly in bed reading when the Wife looks over at him and asks the question....

WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married Again?"

HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"

WIFE: "Why not? Don't you like being married?"

HUSBAND: "Of course I do.."

WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry? "

HUSBAND: "Okay,okay, I'd get married again."

WIFE: "You would?" (with a hurt look)

HUSBAND: (makes audible groan)

WIFE: "Would you live in our house?"

HUSBAND: "Sure, it's a great house.."

WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"

HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"

WIFE: "Would you let her drive my car?"

HUSBAND: "Probably, it is almost new."

WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"

HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do."

WIFE: "Would you give her my jewelry?"

HUSBAND: "No, I'm sure she'd want her own."

WIFE: "Would you take her golfing with you?

HUSBAND: "Yes, those are always good times."

WIFE: "Would she use my clubs?

HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed."

WIFE: -- silence --

HUSBAND: "shit."
 
LittleJessie said:
when i get the ass comment it sometimes goes like this.

Them- Ass bb
Me- My donkey is at the vets sweety

or

Me- I dont do animals.

Depending what mood im in :D (im english, i say arse lol)

i got this one a couple days ago that made me giggle.

Him- u dildo
Me- No, im not a dildo, sorry.
Him- i meant have you got a dildo?

My sarcasm can go on all through my shifts, its terrable, i need to stop!

jess xx
Click to expand...

Hahaha, why stop? I call it entertaining yourself at work :p Entertaining others too lol
 
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