I hate how the definition of words can skew so much it can come to mean anything.
Take literally for instance. It used to mean "actually true". Then it became a euphemism for "it's not actually true, but it's so close it might as well be". Then it morphed from that to mean "I mean this figuratively". So now you hear someone say "And I literally shat my pants", and you don't know if they actually had to go wash/throw away the pants or if they're just exaggerating for effect.
Or moot. It used to mean something that was set down, you couldn't really disagree with it. Then it became something that is worth debating. Now it's something that doesn't matter.
Peruse. The actual definition of peruse is to inspect carefully or read thoroughly. In literature, it got used a lot of "I used this time to peruse the ___" during a time of waiting. Now, me, when I'm waiting, and trying to kill time, I tend to read things thoroughly, because there's nothing better to do. But I've watched people, and about 75% of the population, if they're looking at the magazines in a waiting room, they're just skimming it. So lots of people started to use context clues and figured that it meant the way they skim magazines when waiting, and now a lot of people use it to mean skimming.
Three words, that when people use them, you now have to figure out if which definition they're using, because the two definitions directly contradict each other. The words are becoming useless. Worse- they are contributing to misunderstanding. I say "Sorry, I literally have to 'go' right now," and people get mad at me for bee-lining to the bathroom without another word because they think the literally is not literal. I tell my friend I want to peruse an article online, and he gets upset when it takes me half an hour, because he was expecting the 5-min skim and I meant "I want to read this properly". And there's absolutely no one who will understand if you say "It's a moot point" and you mean the original definition of "this is important and not negotiable".
The shitty thing is, it's because of satire that the words blur like that. Someone says it as a dry joke, and people don't get that it's a joke because they don't know the meaning of the word. Eventually, it's only used in satire, and nobody's ever heard it used outside that context, so their context clues get all mixed up because that's what satire does. That's why satire is funny. Satire is comedy because it misuses words. It's my favorite kind of comedy, and when I hear words I don't know in satire, I context-clue to be the opposite of how they're using it, because that's what satire does. But most people don't think like that. And it sucks.
In the 2000's, the definition of literally in the dictionary was amended to include "in a figurative or exaggerated manner", because using it that way has become so ubiquitous that most people don't understand if you're trying to use it to mean "this is an actual thing". I say "I'm literally terrified of bathrooms," and nobody understands that I'm actually telling them about a real phobia. They think I'm making a joke.
To be fair, a phobia of bathrooms does sound like something a comedian would come up with. I'm sure people wouldn't take it seriously regardless of how I said it. And actually doesn't work there. "I'm actually terrified of bathrooms" still sounds like a joke. There is literally no method of telling people about my phobia that will not sound like a joke, because literally can mean figuratively and actually is usually used to say "you said this, but the correct thing is that", and if it's not in that context people don't know what to do with it.
The real reason behind this rant is I had a bad shower two days ago, and I skipped yesterday, and I was so nervous about showering today that I acted like the awkward geek in front of my partner.
I hate bathrooms. I hate showering. I hate brushing my teeth. I especially hate using the toilet. But I can't stand being dirty, and I can't stand it when my mouth tastes horrible for not brushing my teeth, and it's literally impossible to not use the toilet without dying.
Fuck this fucking phobia.
