New / Nervous / lose of regulars / lover boy

[missholly]

okay, so I just started camming maybe a month ago. I have made 3 pretty steady regulars over that time. Last week one told me he would be gone for awhile for work. Today one told me he is taking a mental health break from mfc during the holidays and the other is getting very very into it like keeps saying he loves me and wants to meet me after I have already said I won't be meeting anyone.

After recieving the message from one of my guys this morning about a mental health break I'm nervous to get back on cam for some reason.

The 2 that won't be around anymore made me feel very comfortable & I kinda feel like I'm getting broke up with. Lol

I guess this is just a rant.

Has anyone else felt this way before?

 

[missholly]

The title should say loss of regulars lol

 

[missholly]

I just have never felt this anxiety about going on before. Every day before this I have been super excited and happy to be going on and all the sudden I'm like do I really want to...

Maybe I need to tell the lover boy he is making me uncomfortable.

From a members side how would you like to be told this?

I do think he is nice and like talking to him. It's the love stuff and wanting to meet me that is making me feel wired I think.

 

[SMuser69]

You didn't lose any regulars. They just took holiday breaks. Even if they didn't tell you why, they like many regulars cut back on the holidays anyways. I wouldn't read too deep into it. This opens up time to make more regulars.

 

[Mara_Jayne]

It sucks to lose regs but it's all part of the gig. That's why many models who've been at it awhile tell you to give the regulars the attention they deserve for the amount the contribute BUT don't neglect other potential customers because they may be your new regulars. And you'll need the new ones when the old ones leave for whatever reason.

I've been doing this for a little over 2 years and all but one regular stopped seeing me within the first months of starting. I have quite a few regs now but only 2 are there always while another is there almost as much and the other few only get on every few weeks or so. I've still gained and lost several in between that. It still gets me a bit down when I know they've left or just moved on especially if they are on my friends list still so I can see them on but no longer visiting but it just reminds me that those in my room now may eventually move on too so I need to be prepared for it the best I can. That means I'm always trying to win over new members the best I can and crossing my fingers that luck will be on my side.

The regs I lost in my first few months were the guys that either "want to help the new gal with advice(and luckily tokens)" or "don't have much money and youre new so you'll be more lenient" kinda members. After realizing that I felt better when I gained new regs who were more in it because of me as a person than just to get free kicks or trying to boost me for a power high.. I only say that because he was in no way my highest of tippers but he helped me enough to get by at the time and keep me thinking I could make this work which I'm greatful for regardless.

If lover boy is making you uncomfortable then you should most definitely put your foot down. When you are uncomfortable and unhappy New comers will see it and if they connect the dots they will realize you have little control over your room. You need to be at your best to help build new regs while you're waiting to see if the others come back. If he respects you at all he will understand and back off. Sometimes they just need reminding that you are only there on cam and not for irl relationships.

 

[ElaySmith]

Its hard losing regs in general, its harder when they are a substantial part of your income and maybe even harder than that is losing a reg that is a substantial part of your income that you genuinely like and look forward to chatting with.... unfortunately it does happen. You will lose regs for all sorts of reasons... maybe they find another model theyd rather spend time with, maybe they just need a break from camming, maybe they need to spend more time on there rl relationships, maybe they finally get there cc bill and realize "whoa, ive spent a shit ton of money" and need to cut back or sometimes they just disappear with no warning. It sucks, its okay to feel sad but you got to put yourself back out there. There are more regulars to be made and you can't make them unless you get back on cam. So take a day and feel sad but then put your war paint back on and get that booty back on cam! You got this bb!!

As far as the member that is pushing your boundaries... ive found you just have to be down right blunt. Men don't tend to pick up on subtle cues... You: oh baby, im only an online fantasy....
Him: So your saying I have a chance?
You: No baby I don't meet
Him: So your saying I have a chance.....
This will continue until your just down right blunt/almost mean. Tell him you have NO intentions of meeting anyone EVER, including HIM bc if you dont directly say he is included... well, he will think he still has a chance. Don't be afraid to tell him that the fact that he keeps pushing the issue makes you uncomfortable and that if he continues to do so you will no longer be able to be friends and will have to block him from your room. Setting boundaries and sticking to them is very important in order to mold your room into an enjoyable place to hang out. Nothing good can come out of your discomfort.

 

[missholly]

Thank you guys for the amazing responses and making me feel okay for being a bit upset. And Yess so true, Can't wait to meet new amazing people and that won't happen if I don't get online.. Still a little anxious lol

 

[yummybrownfox]

okay, so I just started camming maybe a month ago. I have made 3 pretty steady regulars over that time. Last week one told me he would be gone for awhile for work. Today one told me he is taking a mental health break from mfc during the holidays and the other is getting very very into it like keeps saying he loves me and wants to meet me after I have already said I won't be meeting anyone.

After recieving the message from one of my guys this morning about a mental health break I'm nervous to get back on cam for some reason.

The 2 that won't be around anymore made me feel very comfortable & I kinda feel like I'm getting broke up with. Lol

I guess this is just a rant.

Has anyone else felt this way before?

Yup, I think many of us have...if not all of us. It sucks when camming regulars reach their "expiration date" with us, and move on. But hey, it's their loss. Just keep at it, and you will meet plenty of new guys who will visit and spend on you.

 

[missholly]

But hey, it's their loss. Just keep at it, and you will meet plenty of new guys who will visit and spend on you.

Yess!!! Thank you!

 

[UniversitySmiles]

Camming solo can be extremely difficult while starting out. If you do choose to put in the work and stick with it, camming can be extremely rewarding. Stay safe, keep your identity secret, and set boundaries. Do not be afraid to speak out and say no. If someone is making you feel uncomfortable, be respectful and professional, but make your comfort level well known.

 

[Phoenix4987]

You didn't get broken up with girl, don't be silly. You just got your eyes open a lil that's all. The game is still very much alive and there's lots of other guys who will come and go and show their appreciation. It's all a matter of time, go get 'em!

 

[Just_A_Guy]

My member and, I should add, client behaviour prospective: they just moved to and are spending with another model. So I guess "regs", as you call them, do have an "expiration date", just like models (from a member's perspective). But that doesn't mean they won't come back to you, as long as you are still around and online when they are.

 

[AudriTwo]

Regs come and go. It's the circle of life in camworld. I love it when old regs show up after being MIA for quite sometime and spoil the absolute piss out of you. But I don't get disappointed when they leave again. Can't force people to masturbate to you.

 

[Just_A_Guy]

* client behaviour perspective. Damned typos!

 

[Ambers Troll]

I just ended being a paying member...but not over anything major or dramatic. Am not getting the value I once did from this, learnt what I needed to, played the games I wanted to, with the people I wanted to meet. So I am in a similar position right now from the other side of the game.

Most members get back to it after a while and there are plenty more members out there that will get to enjoy you. Do not worry about losing one or two along the way (short term or long term). I can tell you that any model I am a regular of won't be feeling my loss beyond the few tokens I may have spent on them should they invite me to visit.... I could make their night, not their cam career.

That you are feeling like you are being 'broken up with' when you lose regulars is concerning, but I suspect normal. You can't keep hold of something you never really had in the first place. The expectation is that someone chooses you and always will continue to especially if your persona is close to genuine. Mostly that is the case, but not all the time and usually not forever. People do change.

The guy making you feel less comfortable with love talk, you must manage that though. For one thing don't rush into believing it even if he genuinely seems to feel it. Liking a model we choose will always happen, it makes sense that the fantasy that leads from that is what we usually pay for. It's easy to take that fantasy too far.
Shoot it down or don't, either option is fine. For all models they should only chase members that they can cope with no matter how good that member seems. If you decide to shoot it down go for minimizing it, joking at it, and treating his words as nothing serious [It is the truth anyway.].
On meetings, just say you don't and never will (can play with the fantasy of it, but any serious talk kill it) ...set a clear boundary on that if you never will.

 

[Deleted member 37064]

Can't force people to masturbate to you.

I thought that's what FemDoms and JOI were all about?

 

[AudriTwo]

I thought that's what FemDoms and JOI were all about?

consensual force bb

 

[Deleted member 37064]

Regulars come and go. It's a business, that happens to have somewhat of a personal side to it.

consensual force bb

 

[Paul_T]

Maybe I need to tell the lover boy he is making me uncomfortable.

Definitely so. You want to be comfortable with your job, or as much as is possible with this job, or you'll be miserable. And that'll cost you both money and sanity.

From a members side how would you like to be told this?

I do think he is nice and like talking to him. It's the love stuff and wanting to meet me that is making me feel wired I think.

I'd like to be told basically how you just explained it. "I think you're nice and I'd like to keep talking to you and hanging out with you here on this site, but the love stuff and wanting to meet me stuff is making me uncomfortable, so please stop with that bit." It's reasonable, respectful, and crystal clear. You can't really ask for more than that. If he won't listen, then he's got to go.

 

[MojitosJourney]

Some things feel like a personal rejection that aren’t. I see life as a big playing field to learn and grow our perspective. The best thing I’ve been learning is that things other people do that affect me, aren’t about me. It’s about them. Their choices are always based on their needs. Cam girls aren’t girlfriends - we’re a healthy indulgence .... like spending
money on a massage or a vacation. And hey, I love vacations but I don’t always go to the same place - I like to try out different destinations! Members can be like that with their spending habits with models, too.

Regulars will come, go, and come back again. Some of them seem amazing at first but can turn out to be really negative people that can hurt you, so sometimes a changing of the tides is a blessing. As a new model I felt a bit rejected by a member who stopped seeing me - as an experienced cam girl I look back and remember him for who he was : the guy that hacked into my computer AND cell phone, nosied into my personal life, and said something insulting about my pussy because it had been two days since I had shaved it.