Please Help, am I being used by a cam girl?

[LostHeart999]

Being from a country in South America vs. Europe, it’s possible the risk feel less than the reward. The chances of you showing up are small but the chances of presents is pretty high! Take the money away and you’ll know, but even so... I’ll honestly say the pursuit of her seems unwise anyway.

Yeah you're probably right, I'm going to cool off for a little while and see her response..

Shes spoken about getting out of this life, perhaps we could part ways and see if our paths cross again in the future once she does and maybe we'd he better for it..

 

[AudriTwo]

Shes spoken about getting out of this life,

Heard this line from studio models before.

 

[LostHeart999]

Heard this line from studio models before.

Yeah it sounds like a line, she does around 90-100 hrs a week for this studio and takes home 35%. Doing those hours and not being your own boss, that doesn't sound great to me tbh..

 

[couldnotbemore]

Even if she isn't manipulating you. It just wont work. Either you understand that now, or you figure it out in a few months from now...

You have a child in this mix, the child should be your priority. That doesn't mean you shouldn't try/ have a romantic relationship, but maybe you should try dating locally...

 

[Finchomatic]

Heard this line from studio models before.

I wonder how many pages are in their playbook/s.
And how will indexed and organized it is with scenarios and how to's.

 

[Deleted member 37064]

Except there are levels, painting everything with the same brush isn't fair....

I said 1000s every month, but its more like 1000 in one month and nothing close to that before and after...in 2 years remember...

I've bought one item of jewellery which I sent to her home, again not requesuted by her but a surprise...and yes to her home..

Ive been sent nudes and videos to my phone for free, ive been offered free privates by Skype, I've even been offered a full refund of everything I've spent on her (spent by me not what her studio has paid her) ... we've been speaking daily for a year not on the site...she wants to meet...

I'm not that tattoo guy

I wanted advice, but the replies have been enlightening as to what this industry can do to people..

True, painting everything with the same brush may not be fair. But, life is not fair, nor should it be.

As you've seen, your situation is not unique. There's been numerous people coming here saying they're in love with a model only to find out that they've been taken for thousands of dollars. So, you can understand where/why/how people have the view we do.

 

[Reefer117]

I met a cam model online over 2 years ago, about a year into our "strictly business" relationship we got close and started talking, we exchanged messages for a couple of months via the site in question..which led to us exchanging our cell phone numbers.. (strictly prohibited on the site in question i.e. Its not chaturbate) since then we've spent over a year talking via cellphone, pretty much daily... I have found myself falling for her and she for me, she tells me she loves me, though we have never met (but she has seen photos of me).

She never asks me but due to my nature, this relationship has lead to me spending a lot of money on her in privates, I've even sent her gifts, jewellery etc.. (i.e. I know where she lives - I know it could be a friends/family address) she has sent me photos of her from her childhood, of her family etc too...

She lives in South America and me in the Europe, I have a child which makes it difficult for me to travel to see her.. But she has "stuck by me" for all this time...we have fought many times because I hate her career and how she gets treated. Ironic I know as it is how we met... We've stopped talking for weeks due to some big fights we've had but inevitably whether she initiates or I do we forgive each other... And then it results in a spending spree by me on her in privates and tips... (not requested by her, but me of my own choice)

Am I being played here by someone who is very good at what she does? Or is this real?

Am I being manipulated?

I just keep spending money on her (1000s every month) and can't help but think is this some kind of tactic?

How do I find out if this is real? Help me as this is killing me...

Stop spending and see if the conversation continues.

 

[aliceabsolute]

Love is challenging, but it shouldn't be this difficult to get the truth from your lover.

 

[LostHeart999]

Love is challenging, but it shouldn't be this difficult to get the truth from your lover.

She has told me the truth, according to her, that she loves me and wants us to be a couple, but I don't know whether it's a hustle, I don't want to go any deeper if there is that risk...and from what I'm reading on the forum it seems that some girls will lie and pretty much say and do anything for money..

 

[Mila_]

You are asking us for advice but you don’t seem to be interested in the truth, you seem to be looking only for validation. We can’t tell you what you want to hear because we have read this story nearly 1000 times and it’s always the same. The long con does exist. Studio managers train girls to con their regulars with promises of true love especially in Eastern Europe but also in South America, we learned after a former model who worked with South American studios told us. We could pretend this doesn’t happen, but then it would be the shittiest advice you ever got.

If a model is truly interested in a dude she will initiate contact frequently outside the camsite and reject any payments from him or extravagant gifts. Think in terms of real life women: I don’t know a single girl who will let the guy she loves pay her to spend time together, even if she had no scruples she would be afraid of sending the wrong message to the guy she is interested in. So there are 2 options here... either she is in love with you for real and has 0 scruples, 0 shame and 0 regard for how you see her and in that case she would probably be some sort of sociopath, or she is conning you, either way, not a very good choice for a serious relationship

 

[LostHeart999]

You are asking us for advice but you don’t seem to be interested in the truth, you seem to be looking only for validation. We can’t tell you what you want to hear because we have read this story nearly 1000 times and it’s always the same. The long con does exist. Studio managers train girls to con their regulars with promises of true love especially in Eastern Europe but also in South America, we learned after a former model who worked with South American studios told us. We could pretend this doesn’t happen, but then it would be the shittiest advice you ever got.

If a model is truly interested in a dude she will initiate contact frequently outside the camsite and reject any payments from him or extravagant gifts. Think in terms of real life women: I don’t know a single girl who will let the guy she loves pay her to spend time together, even if she had no scruples she would be afraid of sending the wrong message to the guy she is interested in. So there are 2 options here... either she is in love with you for real and has 0 scruples, 0 shame and 0 regard for how you see her and in that case she would probably be some sort of sociopath, or she is conning you, either way, not a very good choice for a serious relationship

Hi thanks for the message.

Yes I am seeking advice but the very first bunch of messages I got on here was about a back tattoo lol so forgive me for trying to defend myself..

Lol I don't really care if there is a 1000s guys in a similar situation; that doesn't justify treating every guy the same does it?

Yes the only contact I have had with her for the last year on a daily basis has been on a cell phone not through the site and she initiates far more than I do, free conversations, pics, videos etc, I myself initiate the private chat visits on the site, she has never asked me to visit her and I am not sure how she can refuse me when I visit her as she works for a studio? But as I mentioned in a reply to someone else on here she has reduced her rate.

I am seeking advice not a sweeping generalization that all guys are the same and all situations are the same; when I get fair and objective advice I will gladly take it.

 

[AmberCutie]

She has told me the truth, according to her, that she loves me and wants us to be a couple, but I don't know whether it's a hustle, I don't want to go any deeper if there is that risk...and from what I'm reading on the forum it seems that some girls will lie and pretty much say and do anything for money..

If you want a real dose of reality, should watch this season of 90 Day Fiance: Before the 90 Days.

Guy spent 100k on a girl who kept telling him the same thing. For 7 years. She stood him up multiple times, he went to track her down (she said he could come see her), and never found her.

Lots of lies in this game.

 

[Deleted member 37064]

Lol I don't really care if there is a 1000s guys in a similar situation; that doesn't justify treating every guy the same does it?

Technically, yes it does. There's a significant tendency for these things to be more true than false. What would you prefer us to say? "Hey dude, sounds totally legit! She's a model?! Fuck yeah! Go get 'er tiger!"

Fuck that shit. I'd rather be right 95% of the time, and wrong 5% than to be fake telling you to go for it. I even do this shit in my offline life and people hate me for it because I refuse to be the fake friend they all want.

Yes the only contact I have had with her for the last year on a daily basis has been on a cell phone not through the site and she initiates far more than I do, free conversations, pics, videos etc, I myself initiate the private chat visits on the site, she has never asked me to visit her and I am not sure how she can refuse me when I visit her as she works for a studio? But as I mentioned in a reply to someone else on here she has reduced her rate.

I am seeking advice not a sweeping generalization that all guys are the same and all situations are the same; when I get fair and objective advice I will gladly take it.

Okay, little dose of reality here:

She's most likely leading you on because she knows you're going to come to her for a paid private. Doesn't matter if it's a reduced rate, or full, it's still money in her pocket and the studio's.

Try this: Keep in contact with her in every way BUT no privates for two weeks or longer, if it's normally every couple of weeks, then go longer. Don't tip her in the room either. See what she does.

 

[LostHeart999]

Technically, yes it does. There's a significant tendency for these things to be more true than false. What would you prefer us to say? "Hey dude, sounds totally legit! She's a model?! Fuck yeah! Go get 'er tiger!"

Fuck that shit. I'd rather be right 95% of the time, and wrong 5% than to be fake telling you to go for it. I even do this shit in my offline life and people hate me for it because I refuse to be the fake friend they all want.



Okay, little dose of reality here:

She's most likely leading you on because she knows you're going to come to her for a paid private. Doesn't matter if it's a reduced rate, or full, it's still money in her pocket and the studio's.

Try this: Keep in contact with her in every way BUT no privates for two weeks or longer, if it's normally every couple of weeks, then go longer. Don't tip her in the room either. See what she does.

Yes that is what I am doing at the moment; I usually visit her weekly; it's been 10 days so far and nothing has changed yet; but we are still talking. on the celphone. I am going to do this for the next 3 months and will see what she is like then. (zero privates and tips)

Well we can agree to disagree about being OK with being wrong 5% of the time; I would try and be right as much as possible and not put a figure on it; this isn't a war where "collateral damage" happens.... Being given the wrong advice because someone is too lazy to read all the facts clearly can result in a lawsuit trust me I know

 

[Danigirl]

Being given the wrong advice because someone is too lazy to read all the facts clearly can result in a lawsuit trust me I know

Say what? Lawsuits from you thinking models on here are lazy and giving bad advice? It's not lazy when models take the time to help out another dude who is too lazy himself to search the forum for situations ridiculously close to his own. You know something isn't sitting well with this situation because you came here to ask advise. Just because we think you're an idiot and being taken doesn't make the advice wrong or bad. Just means your panties are twisted because it's not the answer you want.

 

[Deleted member 37064]

Yes that is what I am doing at the moment; I usually visit her weekly; it's been 10 days so far and nothing has changed yet; but we are still talking. on the celphone. I am going to do this for the next 3 months and will see what she is like then. (zero privates and tips)

Well we can agree to disagree about being OK with being wrong 5% of the time; I would try and be right as much as possible and not put a figure on it; this isn't a war where "collateral damage" happens.... Being given the wrong advice because someone is too lazy to read all the facts clearly can result in a lawsuit trust me I know

Fuck off with the lawsuit bullshit. You came here asking for advice, you got it and you denied it claiming your situation is different.

I really don’t give a flying fuck who you are, or if I’m wrong 0% or 100%. You have your opinion and others have theirs. We’ve seen this shit more than your fucking dumb ass wants to comprehend.

 

[AmberCutie]

Being given the wrong advice because someone is too lazy to read all the facts clearly can result in a lawsuit trust me I know

Get out of here with that ridiculous bullshit.

 

[LostHeart999]

Say what? Lawsuits from you thinking models on here are lazy and giving bad advice? It's not lazy when models take the time to help out another dude who is too lazy himself to search the forum for situations ridiculously close to his own. You know something isn't sitting well with this situation because you came here to ask advise. Just because we think you're an idiot and being taken doesn't make the advice wrong or bad. Just means your panties are twisted because it's not the answer you want.

Lol no I was using that as an example where people who are in a position such as yourselves shouldn't be coming on here to give half hearted advice; just don't bother in the first place?

I was trying to give an example; in a similar situation where someone who is in a position to give advice but acts negligently when they give it they can be sued...not that anyone is actually going to sue you in this situation lol

 

[Herein2020]

Other day model that I tip a lot to and she always PM me - she says - did I give you my whatsapp - and I was thinking - she must really like me hahaha - but ya - I don't have whatsapp and not getting into it so I told her that. After i got back to reality a week later I realized if I had said no would of cost me 666 at chaturbate from her hahahah It was the upsell - not a love story =) I have been to Pattaya in thailand - its a girl bar town. Was at a diner with the regular guys and one guy said he has to come eat with his friends so he can get his head together and realize they are not in love him but are liking his $$$$ - we all laughed and 1/2 of us probably blushed in shame as we forget that =) That town is easier the plane leaves in 2 weeks - luckily =)

 

[LostHeart999]

Fuck off with the lawsuit bullshit. You came here asking for advice, you got it and you denied it claiming your situation is different.

I really don’t give a flying fuck who you are, or if I’m wrong 0% or 100%. You have your opinion and others have theirs. We’ve seen this shit more than your fucking dumb ass wants to comprehend.

please read the above reply to dani girl.... noone is going to sue you; but people who are in a position to help should do it properly not half heartedly...My mistake for treating you guys like professionals...

 

[Danigirl]

Lol no I was using that as an example where people who are in a position such as yourselves shouldn't be coming on here to give half hearted advice; just don't bother in the first place?

I was trying to give an example; in a similar situation where someone who is in a position to give advice but acts negligently when they give it they can be sued...not that anyone is actually going to sue you in this situation lol

Look here asshat, you're a fucking moron and most were trying to be nice in saying that. Fuck off if you think we are lazy taking our own time to help your stupid self. Go get screwed from the cam model. You deserve it.

You can't fucking sue someone for their opinion.

 

[Deleted member 37064]

please read the above reply to dani girl.... noone is going to sue you; but people who are in a position to help should do it properly not half heartedly...My mistake for treating you guys like professionals...

I got what you were getting at. But, that still doesn’t remove the fact that you’re a dumbass. You have seen more than enough responses saying it’s most likely a scam. Yet, you’re fucking this skull, or irrational thinking still wants to cling to a bit of hope it’s valid.

like I have told other: This is most likely a scam. But, if it isn’t, and you two make it work, good for you.

Now, again, please take your dumbass out of here.

 

[Danigirl]

Btw. It would be way worse if we told you to take the risk and think you're the exception and not the rule. That would be more unprofessional.

@AudriTwo saying to get a back tattoo is the most succinct way on this forum to explain the situation and how much of a ride you're being taken on willingly. If you did any research yourself you would have found that out.

 

[LostHeart999]

Look here asshat, you're a fucking moron and most were trying to be nice in saying that. Fuck off if you think we are lazy taking our own time to help your stupid self. Go get screwed from the cam model. You deserve it.

You can't fucking sue someone for their opinion.

Wow completely unnecessary, it's like everyone come's on to this forum looking to trash the guy, not once have I sworn or been abusive to anyone but I am getting it left right and centre.

 

[LostHeart999]

I got what you were getting at. But, that still doesn’t remove the fact that you’re a dumbass. You have seen more than enough responses saying it’s most likely a scam. Yet, you’re fucking this skull, or irrational thinking still wants to cling to a bit of hope it’s valid.

like I have told other: This is most likely a scam. But, if it isn’t, and you two make it work, good for you.

Now, again, please take your dumbass out of here.

Ok thanks...I think

 

[AudriTwo]

So when you get your back tattoo, make sure you spell out her name correctly on a piece of paper before they begin. Wouldn't want to spell the wrong name because that would be embarrassing

 

[LostHeart999]

Btw. It would be way worse if we told you to take the risk and think you're the exception and not the rule. That would be more unprofessional.

@AudriTwo saying to get a back tattoo is the most succinct way on this forum to explain the situation and how much of a ride you're being taken on willingly. If you did any research yourself you would have found that out.

So when you get your back tattoo, make sure you spell out her name correctly on a piece of paper before they begin.

Will do

 

[Lucid1]

To the OP:

To relay an experience I had with a SA model...

A few years ago, I fell for a SA model who seemed to push all the right buttons and touched all the right places of my heart. We exchanged numbers, texted and called each other at least weekly, both on the phone, and on Skype. I began sending her money via WU after she sent me pics of her two kids. This went on for about a year...that is, until she screwed up....

The last time I sent her money via WU, she contacted me on Skype and sent pics depicting her actually signing her son up for soccer lessons using the money I sent. A couple of weeks later she sent a pic of this same son dressed in a soccer uniform....but in the pic, he was noticeably bigger and taller than the previous pic sent only a couple of weeks earlier. Way bigger than a two week growth spurt would ever be able to explain. When I challenged her about this, she went silent. No more contact, no goodbyes, or thank you's for what I had done. Lesson learned.

Since then, I have found out that a LOT of SA studios actually coach their models in the various methods of catching(or at least hooking) the "big fish". I also learned that even if you send a model money using WU(not sure about other methods), their studios(or bosses) are given a substantial cut of what you send, and the model can be put in serious jeopardy if she doesn't.

Since then, I only use the actual site's method of tipping as a means to support my favorite models, and If a model requests an off-site payment for a sick relative, kid or whatever, I'm gone in an instant. Supporting a model through the mechanisms of the site in question is the safest way to keep the relationship real and somewhat transparent. That, and I'm no longer looking for love in all the wrong places. =)

I suspect you have your suspicions about the nature of this relationship, or you wouldn't be posting about it here on this forum. There are ways to uncover the truth about your particular situation. Some are more covert than others, it just depends on how quickly you want to find out her true intentions and purpose. I won't make any suggestions other than to say: Good Luck!

 

[AmberCutie]

THOUSANDS of posts here over the years from guys in a similar situation to you. It isn't lazy to warn you that you're super likely to be getting scammed.

Your insistence that we aren't giving you the right advice is causing people to not like you and speak to you in a more rude tone. Please take the info that has been presented and make your decisions, but you're wearing out your welcome here by arguing with people.

 

[Carmita Bonita]

There’s a very high chance you’re being used bottom line. People can manipulate the situation to make it seem like it’s your idea to spend more $ on them so it’s less obvious. As stated it’s not at all uncommon for specifically studio models to say I love you, offer up real information etc. If you have to ask yourself if it’s real that should be a good indication you know you’re ignoring some red flags.